s a m i

yeah 2 drinks one for each hand.

ANY ONE LIVE IN ARKANSAS? THAT IS WHERE I GREW UP AND HAD SOOO MANY FRIENDS...

A new young monk arrives at the monastery and as with all new monks he is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing, "We forgot the "R", we forgot the "R" His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate." The word is celebrate."!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;) ;) ;)

What would you do ? You make the choice Don't look for a punch line. There isn't one. Read it anyway. My question to all of you is: Would you have made the same choice? At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question. "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?" The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child." Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning.. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning." In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home. Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay, run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team. "That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world." AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces. If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

you posted this too jet? didnt see yours.... i got mine in email too.. funny.... oh well guess its here twice . LOL

OK, I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS COOL.... THEY ARENT EXACTLY ALIKE... JUST WIERD HOW MUCH IT ALL HAD IN COMMON.. SORRY YOU WERE SO DISSAPOINTED WORD WOLF <_<

Something to think about. Have a history teacher explain this...if they can Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head. Now it gets really weird. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.' Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.' Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. And here's the kicker... A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe. Creepy huh? :unsure: :unsure:

CHOOSING A WIFE A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs. (Men are like that, you know.) There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them!!!

ONLY IN AMERICA: Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ! Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER .... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ! Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Why don’t you ever see the headline “psychic wins lottery” ? Why is “ abbreviated” such a long word ?

CALL HAZMAT!!!! NOW!!! THAT WOMEN NEEDS TO REMOVE HERSELF FROM THIS STORE!!! WE HAD FUN, HUH, MA? :blink: :blink: ;) ;) :P :P :D :D

this is so funny! i got it in an e-mail... it is funny and cute !! Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens. 5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9 Look righ! t into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. 11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" (And; last, but not least!) 15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" :D :P :lol:

im sure you have your reason justsayNO..... that is totally understandalble........... i hope that one day (if you choose) you will be able to be an "outtie". :) im glad that you can see thru it all. i hope that there are more "innies" that can too, and will one day be able to be totally free.

i am so very glad that you chose to leave NATO! !! ! ! !! have you been to the chat room yet? it is a fun place to laugh, and chat. yes, i was in TWI. i grew up in it. and there were MANY MANY MANY MANY times that i didnt understand things and thought that things just werent "right" but i was a child and you know how that goes. <_< my family members have lived with both mrs. wirewille and don and wanda. also they have been back room for martindale. they know...... one thing they have said to me " i will not belive any of the "dirt" that i hear about this wonderful minstry that i stand with " they know.... but they are stuck. my fathers WHOLE family is involved. they cant leave. at least that is how they feel. its all really too badd and really sad. im so happy for you that your eyes were opened and have decieded to leave, and i am so glad that you have your wifes support and she is chosing to leave as well. :D :D :D the grease spot is a wonderful place.....im sure you will enjoy it. :)

first..... yes james im a hot momma! !! !! :P second..... sounds about right groucho... makes me sad. its really too too bad. i always thought blood was thicker than water -------> guess i was wrong. when my mother chose to leave, my family also ended ties with me. i have since gotten an appology, but it is all to bad and sad. we have been in contact again recently (after 8 years) and all i wanted was a few answers. guess im not gonna get that. i highly doubt they will ever get out. they really truly believe that the WAY is EVERYTHING. i have decieded to keep in touch with them, but guess i wont waste anymore breath on asking any questions...... its soooooo stupid <_< :unsure: LOL DMILLER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR PROBABLY RIGHT! :huh: :huh: :huh:

I wonder what they people in the WAY have to hide? I have a LOT of family members still very much involved in that “ministry”. When I asked questions, they refused to answer them. Asked them why Martindale is/was working at a fitness place, why there are so many women alleging sex crimes on Martindale. The response?.............. They refused to answer any questions regarding the ministry. Funny, huh? They have repeatedly told me how “the ministry has changed a lot in the last few years” Well, yes, and doesn’t that make one think that things weren’t so good before? I find it amusing that they can’t answer a few simple questions. I have family that are corps and were very close to some of the “big wigs” and I know they know stuff. I just think it is pretty crazy, that they have to be so secretive, if this “ministry” is so great, why can’t they talk about it. PRETTY FUNNY TO ME.