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Robi

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  1. Hi y'all. I thought I'd weigh in on this since I attended the American Family Foundation's conference on Cult Awareness this past summer. Amongst the professionals there, they prefer to use the terminology, "High Demand Abusive Groups" which I think is much more accurate than the word "cult." Many groups of "cultic" nature are not religiously motivated in the least...yet they are still abusive and highly demanding. There are many political "cults" out there that have nothing at all to do with religion. They do, however, have a charasmatic leader who is controlling, abusive at times (remember the cycle of abuse is not always bad...there are the 'fairytale' times and the 'tension building' times). In fact, I have noticed that the nationally recognized sorority my daughter has joined is 'cultic' in nature...secret rules, secret sayings, meetings for this and that. Recruitment practices. The problem comes when a group becomes abusive and demanding of all of one's heart and soul. The word "cult" is still used because it is more universally recognized. The phrase "High Demand Abusive Group" is definitely more accurate because it doesn't differentiate religious doctrines as much as it defines a group's harmful practices. Hope that helps. Perhaps we should all try to eliminate the 'cult' word from our terminology but it's just so darned hard! hugs, Robi
  2. Joel, Hope your birthday was happy, dear. You deserve all of God's blessings! Love you lots, Robi
  3. Thanks you all for the wonderful birthday wishes. I was away for a few days visiting my daughter at college. It was a nice birthday...although I'm feeling my age! Some of my favorite people have posted here...thanks for that. It makes my birthday even more special. I'll always remember what some of you have meant to me and have done for me. You are wonderful! I'm spending most of my days at the 'OddList'. It's also known as Jim Martin's OneList at yahoogroups. Visit sometimes...it's an email list for ex-wayfers. Here's a link: http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/The-Way Love to you all! Hugs, Robi PS A belated happy birthday to you, seth!
  4. Thank you, Lifted for the thoughtful post. It means a lot to me that Pete has not been forgotten. I will never forget the outpouring of love and prayers that Pete and my family received. I could not have made it without so many of you being there for me. I stayed with Pete for most of the 3 months or so that he lived. I was in a city away from any of my family yet God saw to it that I was not alone. So many of you wrote everyday, or called, or posted a message and/or prayer. Some of you came from miles away to visit Pete and I. I think Lifted drove 8 hours to stay for a few days so I could get some rest. Karl Kahler visited from California (he was visiting his own family in Arkansas and made an extra 7 ot 8 hour drive). He stayed a couple of days and took me on a picnic and exploring caves in the area. There were wonderful believers who came from Illinois to spend time with me and take me to lunch. There were believers from the Kansas City area who came and brought me a home cooked meal (that was heaven). There was even a believer who worked in the very same hospital. She met me there the night I arrived to see Pete for the first time the day after he was burned! She visited me often and was so helpful and cheerful. There was a guy (another ex-Wayfer) who lived in the same city who visited me and brought me wonderful coffee and treats. There was a wonderful woman who sent me a little money that she'd been 'saving up for something like that'. She said it was the way she chose to abundantly share these days (I think that's how she phrased it). It was so wonderful. There were a couple of people who had the foresight to send me stamps and phone cards! One or two offered me their frequent flyer miles and vouchers for tickets. All those things were so appreciated. I missed close to three months of work and with that, the flights, the hotel rooms, and other expenses, I used up much of my savings. Then there were the people who weren't ex-Wayfers. I met many of them in the waiting room of the burn unit. None of them had family who were burned. It was combined with a surgical unit, so most of them were there with traumatic injuries, a few of them as long as me. We became very close. We became each other's backbones. A few of them became like family to me. Sometimes I think they were angels. I still keep in touch with a few of them. Oh, there was the one woman who 'just happened' to be in the hospital the day I arrived to make decisions about my brother. She was the one who took care of her brother when HE was burned in a way similar to my brother. He had been discharged weeks before, but they 'just happened' to be in the hospital for physical therapy when I got there (they lived two hours away). They allowed me to ask them questions about his recovery. They allowed me to touch him and look at him closely. She brought me a survival kit...paper, colored pencils, a journal. She told me to write and draw how and what I was feeling. Every once in a while she would pop in the hospital. I'd say, "What are you doing here?" She'd say, "I came to take you to lunch. You need to get out of here a little." So off we'd go to the mall. I got to know my half-brother and sister who had grown up in Missouri and I didn't know well. I lost one brother, but I got to know my half brother who is 17 years younger than me, and my half sister who is 15 years younger than me. Although they couldn't be there as much as I'd have liked, they were there quite a few times and I am thankful that we were able to build a relationship. I also got close to many of the nurses, doctors, and employees at the hospital. Some of them would come in on their days off and sit with me or take me to lunch (it sounds like I spent a lot of time going to lunch but I really didn't! In the space of 3 months, there were many times that I didn't leave the hospital much at all). I think they appreciated that I didn't go in and say, "I'm a critical care nurse. You need to do this, this and this and you need to do it the way I say." Instead, I told them, "Forget that I am a nurse. First of all, I know nothing about burn patients. Second of all, if I did know anything, at this point I am stupid and I can't think of a thing that I know. I am here as his sister and nothing else." I didn't go in and grill them about his lab values, his ventilator settings, his medications and doses, or anything else. I went in and sat with him, held his one good hand or stroked his unburned face, and I read the bible to him or I sang him songs...you know the ones, "Peace, peace, wonderful peace..." or "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound." Their favorite time was when I would get all the emails that you all sent to him everyday and I would read them to him. Some of them were so wonderful! Lifted and Righteous brother wrote nearly every day...wonderful, loving, and sometimes funny stories and tales. Krysylis let my brother get closer to her beautiful heart than she's ever let anyone here get (ask her about the spider sometime). Plotinus was always thoughtful, loving, and full of hope and sunshine. There were so many emails! I can't think of all of them right now because I've had to shut the thoughts out of my mind as much as I can but I have saved every one of them. I have a three inch binder full of emails mostly from you all. They were so incredible. I read each one to Pete. The hospital volunteer and marketing offices deliver the email to patients and they sought me out to meet me and Pete because they say they never received as many for one person in the history of their email program! Those were just the ones you wrote to Pete at the hospital. Then there were the ones you all wrote to me personally, plus all the messages on his website and this website! Everyone of them brought me such joy and comfort. I know they did to Pete, too. I know he heard and knew people from all over the world were thinking and praying about him. Pete never regained conciousness after he was burned. Part of the time they kept him down with pain medicine and medicine that kept him in a 'twilight' sedation and made him forget things (a blessing, I'm sure). Other times, they would back down on his medicine and I could see him beginning to respond a bit, but it was just too painful...or maybe too much for his brain. With the help of all of your prayers and emails, I was able to spend much time there talking to Pete about God. Since my mother and I were both in TWI, and two sisters took the class, and since my father was a methodist minister, Pete had heard a lot about God before. He'd always had a life that he thought was tough and I'm not exactly what his beliefs were. I am absolutely convinced that during the 3 months he lived after his burn, he had time to make his peace with God and with himself. One of the nurses that took care Pete a great deal came in on his day off and sat with me as I talked to Pete about being born again. The nurse talked to him from his perspective (he was not ex-Way but his beliefs and understanding were similar to mine. When we said what we needed to say, Pete had tears running down his face. I am convinced that he heard us and I am convinced that it changed his life. Not too long after that, it became clear that he was taking a turn for the worse. I don't think Pete gave up. I think maybe he finally felt like he could rest and go to God. I think he knew he'd see us all again one day. I was with him when he died. The doctors and nurses were doing everything they could to save him. They were hustling and trying everything, but Pete had an overwhelming infection that roared through his body and was eating up some of the many grafts he'd had. My last words to Pete were that it was ok for him to sleep and be peaceful. I told him that when he woke up, I'd be there and we'd be with God. This experience severly tested my beliefs about God, but then again, God seemed to prove himself over and over again by the way he worked in so many people to help us out. I can't say that I have any concrete beliefs...I am still sorting...but I cannot deny the things I saw. Thank you so much to all of you who were such a wonderful part of the whole experience. I think many of us learned so many things. I know I learned to be very thankful for the people God surrounded me with. Pete was a very special person and you all would have loved him as much as I did, and still do. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him and about those of you who brought so much to us with your love and prayers. Thank you. with much love, Robi (p.s. Unfortunately, the name that is a 'trigger' for the filters is 'Robi'.)
  5. Happy Birthday, Zixar!! Lunch? I owe you one! love, Robi
  6. Hi tessa! Can you give us a shortcut link to get there? I have everything downloaded from a long time ago but I still have trouble finding my way there. Thanks, Robi
  7. Foosball! LOL! Do you remember the time, I guess it was either the ROA or the Living Victoriously class when Craig had Jim come up on the main stage and they introduced him as the 'such and such' Foosball champion! I thought it was hilarious. I knew Jim when he was a WOW...I think in Hollywood, Florida, in the early 80's. Redheaded, isn't he? Or what there was left of his hair)! I think he was in Emil Rock's family. Jim was (and still is, I'm sure) a wonderful guy and I loved him alot. Tell him Robi (pronounced 'Row-Bee' and not Rah-Bee) says hello!
  8. Happy Birthday, dear, dear Socks! Hope you have a blast...and many more! much love, Robi
  9. Robi

    George family

    They are still in....Atlanta area. Current as of today.
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