Less than

You've got me curious when these trials were? is there a post somewhere?

Likely what was up with that time?

In the 70's my mother found herself a part of twi. She's still with this cult. I've got serious anxiety discussing this at all as I have been so brainwashed that anyone outside of twi is wrong. But as a child who started faithfully attending twigs in the 90s as mom lost track of regular fellowships some time in the 80's during what was referred to as "the dark ages" I don't know if that's what mom called it or everyone I was never good enough. I watched children be born out of wedlock, teenagers get pregnant and given immense support. While I was an honor student and a virgin I was "unequally yolked" because I was dating a boy who wasn't quite sure he wanted to be involved and by dating I talked to him over the phone for 4 years and met with him maybe 5 times in that period. My father was an alcoholic and rarely visited twi until the end when he was pressured to make sure he'd be there for the "gathering together". I now wonder if most of his demons were that he knew his wife was raising his children in a cult and didn't know how to combat the strong will of this Godly woman. My father died and strangely enough she felt supported but I was not. That was my last straw. I suffer severe anxiety and depression and it was untreated until recently because I was supposed to pray it away and renew my mind. I'm still very suppressed and scared to seek therapy because I've been brainwashed to believe there's nothing wrong with me so what would I actually talk about? Ok I'm taking a deep breath and posting this and praying this never gets back to my mother because I don't know how to deal with that conflict.