Reading posts here at gsc has helped greatly in processing things and in discerning the good from the bad and the ugly in the way organization. And I wrote the following:
Well, am feeling as if I never had closure, never got to really say good-bye to a dear friend, the twi-with-a-lot-of-good that I got involved with in '74... And yes, am also saying good-bye to a dream, naive as it was, that a human organization or leader or Bible interpretation, could actually be a "rock of certainty in the ocean of uncertainty..." Guess it is time to do another round of mourning and letting go...
And I want to keep moving ahead "fool-proofing" my life, and testing the spiritual waters for what I can believe and trust; which I think more and more is a still-alive-Jesus, Scripture minus any dogmatic closed system of interpretation, and ppl who pass character tests. (And I will continue recovering from trauma that occurred before, during, and after the way- a profitable [ad]venture.)
Re: the idealistic dreams for finding rock-solid certainty and perfection on this inhabited earth... they are not for this Life, me thinks, but rather the Next. Duh!! And YAY!!