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vickles

Redneck jokes

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An italian, a mexican, and a redneck constuction worker all sat down one day to eat their lunch on top of a building they were working on. The italian opens his lunch and looks in and says "Salami again! If I get salami one more day, I'm gonna jump off this building" The mexican opens his lunch and says "Burrito again! If I get a burrito one more day, I am gonna jump off this building" The redneck opens his lunch and says "P-nut butter and jelly again! If I get p-nut butter and jelly one more day, I am gonna jump off this building. The next day at lunch, the Italian opens his lunch and finds salami so he jumps off the building. The mexican opens his lunch and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building. The redneck opens his lunch and finds p-nut butter and jelly so he jumps off the building. Later, at the funeral the Italians wife cries out "I didn't know he disliked salami so much" The mexican's wife cries out "I wish I knew he was so sick of burrito's" The redneck wife says "Hey, don't look at me, he always fixed his own lunch!"

Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

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Rednecks -- Pollacks with overalls on.

icon_biggrin.gif:D-->

Jeff Foxworthy gives howlingly funny videos about rednecks and their antics.

icon_cool.gif

Prophet Emeritus of THE,

and Wandering CyberUU Hippie,

Garth P.

www.gapstudioweb.com

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ok here is a redneck brother in law joke.

You know your brother in law is a redneck when you go to his house to visit and he pulls his riding lawnmower out from behind the house and he shows you the added features he has put on it.

Am/Fm cassette radio

A bucket seat that he took out of the wrecked truck in the corn field.

The cup holder he installed.(To hold his beer can)

The spot light, to look for deer while mowing at night.

And finally, the alarm system he took off his truck because he is afraid that someone might steal it.

As if someone would really want it!

Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

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I love it. I got a joke too but its not a redneck joke. A burgler broke into a house and while in the process of stealing he heard a voice say "Jesus is watching you". He froze and looked around in the dark but saw nothing so he went back to his stealing when again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". This time it really scared him so he turned on his flashlight and saw a parrot sitting on a perch. He said your not Jesus. The parrot said no i'm Moses. The Rottwieller is Jesus.

Dovey

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speaking of redneck. I have friends who the husband claims to be a redneck. His brother decided to put air conditioning in his house. So he took a window air conditioner and a fan and hooked it up somehow underneath the house to go up inside the house. It works!!!! hehe

Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

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An italian, a mexican, and a redneck constuction worker all sat down one day to eat their lunch on top of a building they were working on. The italian opens his lunch and looks in and says "Salami again! If I get salami one more day, I'm gonna jump off this building" The mexican opens his lunch and says "Burrito again! If I get a burrito one more day, I am gonna jump off this building" The redneck opens his lunch and says "P-nut butter and jelly again! If I get p-nut butter and jelly one more day, I am gonna jump off this building. The next day at lunch, the Italian opens his lunch and finds salami so he jumps off the building. The mexican opens his lunch and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building. The redneck opens his lunch and finds p-nut butter and jelly so he jumps off the building. Later, at the funeral the Italians wife cries out "I didn't know he disliked salami so much" The mexican's wife cries out "I wish I knew he was so sick of burrito's" The redneck wife says "Hey, don't look at me, he always fixed his own lunch!"<BR><BR>Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

This might not be such a good idea but what the heck. First of all in keeping with full disclosure. I am a Hoosier, somewhat of a redneck and as most of us I am proud of it.

True story about a guy that just retired from where I work.

This guy went deer hunting. Colder than a mother-in-laws kiss and slicker than deer guts on a door knob.

He climbed into his tree stand and mother nature gave notice. (he had to poop).

He then climbed all the way back down the tree walk away about 100 yds so as not to disturb the surroundings with his smell.

Pulled down his coveralls and done his thing.

He then decided the did not want to climb back into the tree stand because it was so cold.

He went back to the truck to wait on his buddies to get through hunting.

Started the truck up and turned on the heater.

It was not long before he realized he had pooped in the hood of his coveralls.

Not a pretty picture.

Lord forgive me for this.

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