Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

Are any of the former "Hurters" here at GSC?


Tzaia
 Share

Recommended Posts

Sorry.. in a lot of ways, we are just stupid sheep..

:biglaugh:

it almost took striking over the head with a 2 by 4. for this sheep to apply for grad school..

no, I'm not the brightest. Try being the brightest at 54 years old..

I'm only 16 in prime years. I hope that is good enough of an excuse..

:biglaugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Within the last year I apologized to a couple who I had treated badly about 20 years ago. They had the sense to get out of TWI while I stayed in. I made some nasty comments to them and regretted it years later. I came across them on Facebook and apologized. Their response was to accept my apology and then berate me for my religious choices and political leanings and let me know that they wanted nothing to do with me because I had "rejected the Word".

They left TWI, you didn't, then you left, apologized (which is definitely biblical) and THEY chastised YOU for "rejecting the Word"? Did they go back into TWI or something? They sound rather confused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They left TWI, you didn't, then you left, apologized (which is definitely biblical) and THEY chastised YOU for "rejecting the Word"? Did they go back into TWI or something? They sound rather confused.

They didn't go back to TWI, but were involved in an offshoot that retained most TWI doctrine. My current faith is decidedly non-Christian, hence their holier-than-thou attitude. I have seen how many people who left TWI, the organization, have not left TWI the mindset and attitude and worldview.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have seen how many people who left TWI, the organization, have not left TWI the mindset and attitude and worldview.

Yeah. Kinda like that old Salem commercial-----"You can take Salem out of the country, but, you can't take the country out of Salem."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I apologized to a lot of people. One thing I felt terrible about was when I moved from one place where I had been a Twig Area Coordinator (4 twigs), to another state where I became a "regulation sized" (7 Twigs or more) Branch Coordinator with 10 Twigs. What I did that was very uncool, was this. One of our housemates, who was staying in the state we were leaving offered to pack up the rest of our "stuff" and make sure that the house we were vacating and turning back over to the Landlord so he could rent it again was clean and in good repair. He offered it in the name of "moving The Word" and "the Mystery In Motion", etc blah blah. And since it was "soooooo important" for me to to get to my new assignment, I took him up on his offer. As it turned out, it was way more than he should have offered to do. The house had been lived in by three different groups of Wayfers, and almost all of them had left "stuff" there "in storage" to be "picked up later", which never happened. And so, the guy, a wonderful good hearted Brother was left to do all this. Actually, another guy offered to do the same along with my room mate, but, he didn't come through, so, "Bill" we'll call him, had to do it all after I had flown away on a big old jet airliner...

Finally, when the stuff came to me and my wife, he included a letter in it demanding that I pay him $200.00 for all the time he had put into doing all the work. For, not only did he have to haul alot of junk off (the stored stuff), send off my stuff (I left him $800.00 for shipping and told him to keep whatever change-there was no change it turned out), but he had to clean the house and also it turned out that there were some repairs needed too. How he got the stuff fixed was by way of one of the local believers who owned a construction company. When they learned of what I had dumped on him, they were angry, and rightfully so. And the word got out how Bill had been treated and they were all rightfully pi$$ed off. I believe that it was the contractor/believer who told him to confront me about me paying him money. When I received the letter, I called him and.....reamed him out for not keeping his word in that he had happily volunteered to help us out, but then afterward decided that he should have been paid to do it. So, he then meekly apologized to me.

Down the road, and after The Way, I realized how wicked that whole scenario had been. We were led to believe that that kind of giving (like what Bill did) was a good thing for us to do for each other, especially when it had to do with "moving The Word". So I, as an up and coming leader thought it was a good thing for Bill to volunteer like that, and that it was good for me to allow Bill to give like that, because he would be blessed for his giving. But the thing was, Bill had his own life and concerns to deal with. He wasn't a big wage earner, and his Own Life had needs to be taken care of also. It wasn't right that he clean up my own mess with that house. But I was being pressured to get down to my new Branch assignment by a Reverend Region Coordinator, so it seemed to fit that Bill would help us "get out of Dodge" sooner rather than later. But it turned out that it had been a huge undertaking for this one guy. He lost hours at work, he didn't have a place to stay (until the local believers found out and put him up and took care of him), and it was one big royal pain in the a$$ for him. Meanwhile, as the new Branch coord in a certain midwest town, I was treated by my new RC/LC to lunch at a nice restaurant with his Way International credit card! That was weird! It was kind of like "Welcome to the upper levels, you'll be here in no time!" At least I paid my own way to get there to that state, but really, the whole thing stunk. And so, years down the road when seeing how wicked all of that was, I sought him out and apologized profusely and even offered to pay him for services rendered. But, he declined, but also forgave me, and we became simple believer friends once again. I also made amends with the local believers who helped him out and had come to think ill of me because what I had done.

But I have seen this mentality still existing amongst splinter groups. And since it dawned on me how me we used each other in that way, I have always refused to be helped when Ex Way Reverend So and So would say; "Hey we'll get all the believers together to help move ya"! "No way now or ever" says this Ex Way Reverend So and So. And I don't hang with any splinter groups either. Too weird. And, I have always tried to be generous to offer my truck or services when some else needs that kind of help. I don't know if any here were a part of any place I was a leader, but, I apologize for having offended in any way. Now, if you all feel the need to "pile on me", go ahead. But I'll have you know that I told LCM in no uncertain terms to go and take a hike back in '88, and I was shunned and scorned, "marked and avoided" during the "raging years" (TWI II), and had the phone "hung up on me" a few times when I tried to contact friends who were "still in". Anyway, Glad I didn't fit in with the "in crowd", and took my leave. And I have apologized to as many as I can find whom I may have offended...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, and in hindsight, I should have done this when the pressure was on me to "get to my new assignment before Corps Week and the Rock":

I should have told my new RC/LC this: "Look. I have inherited three "generations" of WOWs and WOW Vets's stuff here at this house. There are bills to pay, stuff to haul to the dump. I have my own stuff to pack up, and there is a believer here living with us who does not need to have all of this dumped on him. It would be wrong for me to leave all of this stuff in Bill's lap even though he thinks he can handle it and has offered to do so. So, I will get to my new Branch Coordinator job when I can, and if that's not good enough, then I don't want the job. If The Way wants to help out by sending people up here to help pack me up so I can be there as quickly as you want me there, then fine. But I will not dump on my friend and Brother."

But, and I will not say that "I even thought this way" and then succumbed to the temptation of getting out of all of that work. It didn't even cross my mind, sadly to say. But after getting out of The Way and all of the sudden becoming like a "mole standing in the sunlight for the first time and blinking at the bright sunshine", I definitely became acutely aware that I had not been the man that I now know to have been in that situation. It kills me that I didn't even think to speak up on Bill's behalf. And if I had thought of it, would I have jeopardized my reputation amongst the mucky mucks? Dunno. I would now, but this is now, and that was then. But, I am glad I caught up with Bill and have apologized to him for that. For me, I just have to look at that .... as water under the bridge...

Are you bragging?

No. But like I said, you may pile on if you like...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Clay Jar......I loved both of your posts. You went under some transformation and realized your wrongs and try to make them right. That is all ANYONE can do. I wish there were more people like you that would do what you did. Makes me have some "hope" for others.

Thank you for your transparent honesty and sharing!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ClayJay,

Cool stories. One of the problems IMO is that TWI interferes with what would normally socially be a friendship circle. People develop these, and offer help within them. It's small enough so there is a compensory retribution. But when you have your "family" and "friends" group artificially expanded to include people of many times very questionable character through TWI, then it's inevitable people get taken advantage of all over the place. TWI is notorious for being a highly selfish organization - they care NOTHING for their followers, and LESS THAN NOTHING for their leaders. Only for their pompous holy decisions, trading in human flesh and dictating people move all over the place. They are what the Word terms "menstealers" - slave traders and purveyors in human flesh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are welcome Newlife, and may you have a fast recovery. Just work through it all at your own time table. But don't wait on apologies in order to move on. They just may never come. I am owed a number of apologies myself, but I doubt they will ever come. God bless you...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ClayJay, we are all soooo deceived. We even screw up our own repentance at times. It's hard, and it hurts to face our own deception. But face it we must if we really want to see the light. I've found God to be very patient. I've learned to laugh at myself, and to no longer be surprised when I fall short. I have also found that learning the truth, really learning the truth about God, about myself, about others, though often painful, is worth it.

The truth doesn't always come to us a friend, or at least it doesn't seem so. Very often the truth offends us and often the Truth exposes us. That can hurt.

I'm glad you're down for the struggle.

Edited by Broken Arrow
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here's some food for thought, maybe. I personally never held a position higher than a twig coordinator. It's easy for me, sometimes, to point fingers at those who held those higher positions and list their offenses. From that I can derive a great feeling of self-righteousness. If I get honest with myself, though, I realize that my heart wasn't much different. The only difference between me and some of these abusive leaders, quite frankly, is opportunity and sphere of influence. I sure wanted to climb that corporate ladder, though!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I almost wonder if a certain minority of individuals who were attracted to the concept of being leaders weren't a bit on the sociopathic side. Certainly LCM, and probably VPW also. That narcissism, that "I'm the MOG and you must obey ME."

my ex bought into this to such an extent that my life was a living hell for YEARS. he couldn't handle being passed over for anything, and I constantly heard about how much I didn't appreciate his greatness, his co-workers didn't recognize his leadership ability, his boss, the TC, the BC, etc. ad nauseum. he couldn't handle me disagreeing with him for any reason because he was the head of me and "so spiritual" because he SIT and studied all the time. I had to divorce him before I could get out of TWI, just so I had the freedom to think for myself, and even then it took over a year and I'm still healing from being physically attacked because I didn't worship him the way I should.

he would have made a great TWI leader.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sadly, they kept dangling the carrot in front of him so he kept panting after a real "leadership position" where everyone would have to give him the respect he thought he deserved.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So sad..

if you don't mind me asking.. where is he now?

did they end up pulling the rug entirely out from under him, much like they did for the most of the rest of us?

just seems to me.. the "hurters" are for the most part still in charge..

learned barely enough psychology to be really dangerous..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my ex bought into this to such an extent that my life was a living hell for YEARS. he couldn't handle being passed over for anything, and I constantly heard about how much I didn't appreciate his greatness, his co-workers didn't recognize his leadership ability, his boss, the TC, the BC, etc. ad nauseum. he couldn't handle me disagreeing with him for any reason because he was the head of me and "so spiritual" because he SIT and studied all the time. I had to divorce him before I could get out of TWI, just so I had the freedom to think for myself, and even then it took over a year and I'm still healing from being physically attacked because I didn't worship him the way I should.

he would have made a great TWI leader.

So sad. I'm sorry you had to endure that. You shouldn't have had to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So sad..

if you don't mind me asking.. where is he now?

did they end up pulling the rug entirely out from under him, much like they did for the most of the rest of us?

just seems to me.. the "hurters" are for the most part still in charge..

learned barely enough psychology to be really dangerous..

he walked as soon as we were divorced. abandoned our kids, left town, did the absent disney dad thing and screwed our kids up bad by competing to be the favorite parent while the kids and I were homeless. I think he realized he was never going to get offered a leadership position so he quit pretending to care whether the kids had food or a roof over their heads because it didn't ever really matter to him in the first place.

So sad. I'm sorry you had to endure that. You shouldn't have had to.

thanks. I didn't deserve it. I hope to be free of him and his sickness for good someday. sad to say that if he died it would be the happiest day I've had since I met him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was treated by my new RC/LC to lunch at a nice restaurant with his Way International credit card!
Credit card???? So lemme get this right...it's okay to have debt for some things? Like entertaining each other? :confused:

You're saying it was issued on TWI's own bank account?

Not just from the toy bank that TWI operated?

Not even a debit card - oh, no, that would mean that the holder had direct access to the bank TWI account.

But - a credit card would allow TWI to maintain some control over the spending... "Oh, we didn't think that was a legit expense - so you can pay for it - not us."

(edited for clarity)

Edited by Twinky
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Plastic cards? Talk about hypocrisy!!!!! We put two airplane tickets and a car rental on a credit card because we didn't have enough time off to drive from Seattle to NK and were promptly put on spiritual probation, whatever the heck that meant.

Under NO circumstances whatsoever were the people in that branch allowed to ever be in debt for anything, even medical treatment in an emergency room. You paid cash on the barrel head just like the Man of God said, or you did without.

My then twig leader in 1994 told me I could have died (of untreated Type I diabetes) in the tent in the ROA "and that would have made the Ministry look bad." But then we get yelled at because we paid the hospital stay over time instead of in one lump sum, which we did not have.

Then a year later, the TC's wife has surgery, demands I come over every day during her recuperation to clean her house to her and her children's exacting expectations, and tells a friend within our hearing that she and her husband charged the whole thing, hospital, lab fees, surgery, the whole nine yards OFF TO MEDICAID and didn't pay a dime.

What the heck is wrong with this picture? Their only concern about my illness was that I could have made the ministry look bad by dying on grounds. We get bitched at because of the hospital bill, which we eventually paid in full, and then THEY, being WC grads, don't have to pay a dime for an expensive surgery and hospital stay.

It was all about hypocrisy and woe be unto them at the judgment day. I'm no theologian but I can smell a load of BS 500 miles away. And they stunk to high heaven.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Credit card???? So lemme get this right...it's okay to have debt for some things? Like entertaining each other? :confused:

You're saying it was issued on TWI's own bank account?

Not just from the toy bank that TWI operated?

Not even a debit card - oh, no, that would mean that the holder had direct access to the bank TWI account.

But - a credit card would allow TWI to maintain some control over the spending... "Oh, we didn't think that was a legit expense - so you can pay for it - not us."

(edited for clarity)

Ya gotta remember that this was back in 1985, a good while before the era of the teachings on not being in debt. But yes, the card was used that day for, I guess, my entertainment.

I'm glad you're down for the struggle

I'm not sure what you mean by that but I think you may mean that "I am down" meaning "I am ready for", or "am willing to" be involved with the struggle to "get my life right". Well, just so ya know, there is no struggle for me now. It's all water under the bridge. I was kicked out of The Way 23 years ago. I had been involved with The Way for only 15 years or so. I was a low level leader, and when I began to see what a trap we were in, my wife and I purposely and honestly disagreed with LCM when he demanded our loyalty and were promptly given the boot. Thankfully, we missed the "raging years" that I have read about here when TWI II came along. I missed the "spiritual probation" years and all of the terrible things that I read about. There was a "dark under belly" in The Way when I was in, but I didn't see much of it, and only learned about much of it here at the GSC. Whoever started this thread asked if there were anyone here who had ever hurt anyone while they were a leader and did they ever apologize. And so, I gave you all an account. But really I am good, and my Family (wife and kids) are all fine. I have taken the good that I learned in The Way and have discarded the bad.

I certainly wish you all well in your recovery. Personally, I have found that Jesus' admonishment to "forgive those who trespassed against us", is the healthy route to take, and has worked well for us. God bless you all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...