Welcome to Greasespot Cafe doingjustfinethankyou
Your post here reminds me of the "every and never" words again. I don't see where Jeff blames others for every bad thing in his life. Every bad thing? Sometimes when someone expects others to take accountability for their actions that altered our life other say "you chose to be there, why blame them". That is an excuse, again, so that the one excusing doesn't have to interact, consider, converse or, perhaps, help.
Read what he's said, he lost his wife ! His marriage ! Why would he not want someone to have some sort of accountability for that massive loss in his life? Could he have walked away and given up and not fought for his wife and marriage and their son? Sure he could have and likely saved himself a helluvalot of grief and torment, but it seems to me he's got more integrity and scrap in him than that.
Then he'd be accused of "allowing it to happen" or some other silliness. He took vows with a woman he loved and they bore a son; that's not a small deal and he had every right to not accept the loss of either. I believe that blame is a good thing; maybe it's the word we don't like: blame. Call it whatever works, but he has the right to understand and put the spotlight on those that harmed, hurt, wracked and ruined his, and it seems many others', lives. And by all accounts continue to do so.
Why not? Wouldn't you? Would you lie down and watch your family be ripped out from under your heart and just say "ho hum, whatever"? I hope not.
These forums are tricky in that we can't know a whole lot about a person unless we hang here quite a bit and get a feel for their words, ideas, watch for consistency, and listen with our reading, as it were.
So much for my introduction to you; I do welcome you here. And add that this is the My Story section of this forum; of course implying that it's that person's story. Unless you or I or anyone has actually lived a part of the writers life, we can't possibly refute or contradict or argue with their telling, can we?
Jeff has been given the freedom, here, to tell his story and he's done so with the information he's got, in fact looking for discussion and exchange, but not to be confused with argument of his facts.
I'd bet if you told one of your life's stories here, you attempt to do so with the assurance that it's your story and therefore you hold the copyright to it, by default, 'cuz it's yours; who's to argue with you.
Am I to assume by your 'get your facts straight' comment that you are familiar with Jeff and his story? Then, by all means, share as he's invited.
Again, when we write out a story in a forum such as this, we do have to practice some form of edit for the sake of time, the readers attention span and our own other obligations. I'm 50 years old and if I were to tell EVERY fact of my story, there would be much snoring; it's just too long.
I know, you would suggest that he "tell the story he's told here" with his facts straight. I would again say 'how do you know'.
Get a life. Why is that the quickest retort available; seems like one of those "get over it" excuses, rather than actually giving someone the courtesy of your time and consideration to his story.
Get spellcheck. Read his posts and you'll see how often he edits for "spelling and clarity". Again, isn't it rather unkind to make such a comment as "get spellcheck". Perhaps you are an Editor by trade and spelling errors pizz you off. Understandable but still not neighborly to point out anothers' errors.
I add again, we don't really know each other here, save for a small handful of those that have met, or have been hanging here and elsewhere before Greasespot, so we only have each other's written words with which to get aquainted. We have to exercise patience and kindness.
If someone chooses to tell their story around here, it's not how they do it, it's that they do it. That, as I understand it, is the purpose of this part of the forum.
Get to know us, wander around and see that we're not perfect, there are not a whole lot of judgement calls in this part of the forum. Alot of Greasespot Cafe, in my opinion, is telling what happened, with the eye toward finding the places our experiences fit in our life so that we can live with them and not err on the same side again OR telling what happened so as to perhaps assist another in not having it happen to them.
One voice can carry a long way towards healing if that's what is needed, understanding which is always helpful and clarity as needed.
Regardless, it's his story, my story and you have one; tell us.
This post has been edited by Shellon: 16 January 2010 - 01:23 PM