(and help others) [extricate (ek-stra-kate) to free from entanglement]

I Corinthians 10:13-14

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer [allow] you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation make a way to escape [also] that ye may be able to bear [endure] it.

(Amplified v.14)

Therefore, my dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or venerating anything more than God).

Dear Ones,

Due to a number of requests from people asking for help on how to leave The Way International, we put together a list to help them when needed. Utilize it wisely and be selective about who you give it to. It may be best to give it to them in person. Give them only what is needed. If you give the list, remove names in case it falls into the wrong hands. Remember it is a work in progress. We'd appreciate your input. Keep those still in there in your prayers.

How to Extricate Yourself

• Remember they cannot exert any more power over you than you let them have.
• Quite a number of people shared that it is ideal whenever possible to plan it out and just kind of fade away.
• Don't look for any reasonable rational thinking or actions from others that stay in (especially leadership). The very idea of your leaving attacks the value system that they have lived under for quite some time. 
• Talk it through and be prepared to lose close friends and even family for your stand on the Word. Even if you don't get marked and avoided you will be isolated to some degree. If you are a leader or in a position of influence they will work very quickly to destroy your name and reputation.

One thing a number of people asked me to emphasize to people is that when they do finally leave TWI is that rumors and lies are frequently spread about them which will further discourage people who are still in TWI from contacting them. And when they can't find a lie or rumor that is credible enough for the rank and file to believe, they will dredge up some incident or habit from that person's past (for example: the person was into drugs, love of money, went into debt, went out on his wife, he was a delivered homosexual) and say that that person has reverted to their former ways.

If you get hit with this kind of devilishness read I Corinthians 5 from the Amplified Bible and remind yourself that you are not the one who is covering for sin.

Soon after you leave you will begin to see that you are not leaving anything that significant. You are leaving bondage and entering into your God given liberty. God is not a child abuser.

Remember your Godly priorities: 

• (1) God 
• (2) Your spouse if married 
• (3) Your children 
• (4) your close fellowship (those willing to take a stand for God with you) 
• (5) Then others. Number 5 should never be put above #1 through 4

Do not be surprised at how many decide not to act on the Word and leave with you.

• Don't get talked into one more meeting.
• If you have to say something, plan it out together on what to say and what not to say.
• Don't get goaded into a fight. Avoid arguments but stand solidly on the Word.
• Decide ahead of time your agenda for informing leadership. Keep it short. Keep in mind that whatever you say will most likely get twisted.
• If they press you for any kind of answer just tell them "I just need time to think things through." "We are taking the time to decide what we are going to do."
• Stay like-minded and stay with your pre-determined agenda.
• No more contact is necessary. Don't let emotion cause you to change your plan (anger fear guilt etc.). Talk it over and fully agree before you change any plan.
• Don't worry be happy. God has not left you and He will not leave you. "You'll discover happiness is not a foreign concept."
• Get call blocking,caller I.D, or use an answering machine to see who is calling before you pick up. Instruct your family not to take calls alone.
• Fight the urge to convince others to leave with you. State your position and reasons and leave their choice is up to them.
• Be as friendly and cordial as possible to those who are still in
• If you have open doors to talk to them, use those times to give kind encouraging words. Don't talk down to them. Be pleasant. Your blessed lifestyle will encourage them to see there is life outside of TWI.
• Act on the basis of the Word. Don't react to the doubt, worry, fear, unbelief, or cruelty of others. Keep yourself in alignment and harmony. By staying warm and tender you will keep yourself on the Word and in a position to be there to help others as they decide to escape. Make yourself and you family a rallying point for others that decide to escape the bondage.
• You may need to get yourself a clean Bible to read for a while. Some have shared it really helps to get rid of ministry literature, material, pictures etc. At least box it up and put it out of sight for a while. Give yourself time to heal.

A great book to get and read as soon as you can is "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" by David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen. These men are not familiar with TWI but you will spot the fruit immediately. It really helped me get over the hurt and really ready to move into the grace filled abundance of the Liberty we have in Christ Jesus.

• Don't condemn yourself for having extra time on your hands. Use it to get yourself healed, pay attention to your family and enjoy your new liberty.
• Don't be in a hurry to tell family not in the ministry that you left TWI. To many of them you just quit one church.

Those are a few that I have thought of, off the top of my head. It takes the rightly divided Word of God, fitly spoken to mend torn hearts and minds and plenty of love and tenderness to help folks heal from the ravages of doctrinal error. We are doing the best we can with our limited means, knowing that God is all-powerful and all loving. It is great how He opens the eyes. We are thankful there are others out there praying for us through this transition.

This is by no means the hard and fast final word on what will work for you or meet your specific needs. Get wise counsel and act on the Word to make your "escape." You and the Father will determine the way you walk out of this. Talk it through and have a solid plan and stick to it. All of this we have put together from others who have made the move out of TWI and are enjoying the Liberty. If you have more to add we'd be blessed to receive your suggestions and add them to the list. Enjoy your freedom!

Psalm 119:45

And I will walk in LIBERTY for I seek thy precepts.

Additional suggestions and comments that were added after this list was sent out:

"When we left, we simply sent a fax, stating that we no longer desired to be a part of the organization. Each family member signed it, and we asked that any further communication from them be via regular mail. That way we don't get phone calls. If we do, we can report them for harassment."

"We are thankful there are others out there praying for us through this transition."

Great points on taking care of Children

"I love this! I would add one more thing: discuss the plan with children old enough to understand, but not too early. I waited until 1 week prior to leaving to discuss with my 16-year-old, and of course discussed nothing with my 3 year old except that we were moving, and dealt with each of their concerns and questions according to age, etc. Of course, deal with the older kids concerns about the friends they will lose and the family members they may lose."

"Keep a firm loving family structure but remove any legalism. It will take a while to identify but God will help. It really helps to sit down and discuss things but make sure that conversations, especially with teens, is two way."

So many people shared about the book

"A book that really helped me is called THE SUBTLE POWER OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE by Johnson and VanVonderen, available at Christian-type bookstores. You would swear that those folks had been in TWI, though they were not. It was very eye opening to me (and very helpful) to see and read what had happened and how I could be spiritually delivered from the erroneous teachings (among the truthful ones) that were used to control me. It has a special section for ministers who may have been on the controlling end of things, as well as being controlled.

A reminder that we're not ever alone

"It's sure cool how as we take action on deciding to reclaim our lives from the ministry, God is able to go work on our behalf!"

Another brave lady shares

"I had leave under duress and by force because of the untrue things that they said about me. [It was] all because I stood up to my leadership when they were off the Word... You had taught me a lot of sound doctrine and I knew what was right and wrong.

Even though I had to go, and it was the HARDEST thing that I have ever had to do even if it was God's true will for me and my life at that time. I will never regret my time learning the Word of God, and serving others in the ministry, but, there were changes that were not of God. So the time had come for me to leave, I just needed more of a shove than a hint. Father came through for me and He will for you too."

More sound thinking

"I left about a month before the lawsuit was actually published. The local leadership are full of so much hypocrisy. I have always had the impression that this all stems from the very top and has filtered down to effect all our lives through the years. My final words to the local leadership were, "I know that there is life outside of this ministry". I still stand on that statement. I will pray and SIT for you and your family and any one else that is making that sound spiritual decision to "obey God rather man." Please continue to help those in your area to see this in a spiritual light and not let the love of "the ministry [TWI]" cloud their thoughts. I know that HQ will try to paint or spin the actions of yourself and others as negative and selfish."

Another couples success formula

Thought of a couple things that helped us:

1. Remember this: YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG! It will help reaffirm that your decision to stand for God and not stand with TWI is the correct one.

2. Congratulate yourself on the Word that you DO know and have made your own. We were amazed at how much we were applying in our lives, which made it that much easier to see, as we left, (again) that we didn't do anything wrong!

3. Continue to make the Word your own: Remind yourself of God's promises to you. You will see that you have entered the REAL Promised Land and the "true" household of God. You have left a "household" that is run by the adversary - celebrate your freedom! 

4. Remember that men and women process things differently. Women may need to talk more; men may need more time to think about what has happened. Keep this in mind as you and your spouse stand together and work through this.

My husband and I thought we had very good communication in our 12 years of marriage; now, more than ever and we truly believe it is beautiful! We are completely like-minded and FREE from the bondage and enslavement.

5. Deuteronomy 28 IS NOT going to come to pass in your life, so put away the fear-based thinking that was drummed into your brain about it.

My husband told me that he would have fear if we STAYED with TWI; and to know my husband, he pretty much has NO fear in his life. Again, thanks. I think we went through every point you described. God Bless You and love to all of you who are "standing with God!"

Another Lady Shared

"I will whatever I can in aiding people to leave TWI. It's still hard to believe what this ministry has come to. But, the longer I'm out the more sense I'm able to make of it. God has sure blessed me in big ways [since I left]: Right before I left TWI I was getting very sick. As soon as I decided to leave I started getting better. Now I'm back to being healthy. I really saw how religion and legalism brings sickness and at times death.

Also, I just got a major raise at work and they are paying my full benefits, which is something they don't do for anyone in the whole corporation except the vice president! Yes, God is still in business outside TWI! It's wonderful to have "joy" and "peace" again.

You can use my name anywhere you want. I'm not afraid of anything. Since I have been here all these years, someone will recognize my name and it could help him or her.

I would be happy getting a letter together giving the account of my leaving if it will help. Writing a letter will take some thinking because since I left I have been recognizing the legalism I have seen that was "creeping" in for a while now."

A portion of a letter that really helped us when we got out

"Our hearts sure go out to you. So many people have been slandered and maligned and placed under fear and bondage in

God's name. That practice is so evil; it is spiritual abuse and so blatantly contrary to the Word. "Good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts and minds of the simple...." I remember the PFAL class statement:

"I wouldn't go to church with you, even if it was the truth of the Word, I wouldn't go to church with you".

I believe the point was that our Father, God, would not make our communion with Him such a burden. He gave His Son so that He could have a dwelling place, a family. Salvation is a gift of His grace and my active, joy-filled walk with Him continues to be a manifestation of that gift of grace. (E.g. having begun in the spirit am I now made perfect in the flesh? Gal 3:3).

God opened a great door of grace for you and your family to escape from those who continue to call light, darkness and darkness, light. Hopefully, many saints in the days ahead will escape the spirit of bondage and have the strength to begin life anew. I do know that turmoil and the gamut of emotions you're going through brings a deep, sharp pain to your heart. In the midst of our mental anguish several years ago, my husband would remind me that "Ephesians still reads the same today as it did 30 years ago". God and His Word have not changed."

The Value of friendships

"We value friendship very much and we spend time regularly with friends praying together out loud and giving thanks to God for all that He has done for us so freely through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ."

Another exhortation

"Stay convinced with your heart as a fire for God: don't ever let it be extinguished. Now that you have cast out the scorner, take some time to heal. It is the rightly divided Word of God, fitly spoken, that will eliminate any confusion. Now you can proceed in the godly way He expects and deserves."

A wise appeal to stay in the Word!

"Staying in the Word helped me the most. Psalm 119 and I Corinthians 5 were the real eye-openers for me. I really saw how Rev. Martindale was not being dealt with according to the Word, and how leadership was not being honest."

Put your family first

"I know for me, I knew our people needed us, but I had to put our family first. It's really been great to see that if people want help, or answers to what's going on, they'll call, they'll ask. By the way, another friend called us last night and he too is really frustrated with things and probably will be out soon."

God will make sure you get the Word you and your family need

"Another concern people have is that there's nothing else out there. When you tell them that there are other groups that teach the Word, it helps them a lot. We've mentioned Christian Family Fellowships (CFF) to several people and they're blessed to hear all the names of those involved."

One person shared: 

"If you do start a fellowship in your home I would love to be a guest sometime. Best wishes. (Name withheld)"

Keep yourself apt to teach but don't get caught up in the pre-occupation of getting people out of TWI. Jesus Christ was sent to teach [well] to the poor [those humble people who were meek to hear the truth. He was sent to those who were ready for God's perfect wholeness. He knew and had a mission to teach the good news that would heal their hearts. He was sent to herald deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, and to liberate those that were in bondage [Luke 4:18].

To try to force people awake could cause them to get mad at you and at odds with you:

II Timothy 2:24-26

And the servant [doulos] of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient. 

In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

Stay sweet and tender and in alignment and harmony with our heavenly Father. Don't waste anytime trying to get people out of the Way. Do make your life available to them (bless notes, calls, e-mails etc.). Remember to act on the basis of God's Word; don't react to the unbelief that can come in the form of cold shoulders and cruelty. Be loving firm and friendly. Then when they are ready, they will get in contact and ask for help. By keeping yourselves sweet and tenderhearted you can be those rallying points of truth for those recovering themselves out of the snare of the adversary.

Sure love you, you are the best.

Love Paul and Bev