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I married a woman with a
very weak sexual drive, and I have a very strong sexual drive. I am always
"horny." I know that God meets needs, and I believe He meets my needs
through other women who are willing to have intercourse with me.
You are correct that God
meets needs, but He does not meet them in ways that flow at cross purposes with
His Word. There are probably very few marriages where the sexual drives of both
partners are the same. Part of the joy and privilege of working together as a
Christian husband and wife is to work out differences using the Word of God as
a standard. The reason the needs exist is that you and your wife have not gone
honestly and lovingly to the Word of God. I Corinthians 7:3 and 4 apply to your
I Corinthians 7:3-4
Let the husband render
unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power
of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power
of his body, but the wife.
"render" in verse 3 is apodidomi, and in the context of I Corinthians
7 it means "to pay off what is due" (Thayer). It carries a sense of
obligation (Bullinger). The words "due benevolence" are the Greek
words ten opheilen and mean "the debt," or "that which is
due." This phrase is a euphemism for marital duties (Bauer).
The use of the words
"render" and "due benevolence" are clear. The wife is to
meet the sexual needs of her husband, and vice versa. Neither the husband nor
the wife has the right to refuse to meet the sexual needs of the spouse. They
have a "debt" to each other, as verse 4 makes clear: "The wife
hath not power over her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the
husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." There may be times
when one partner may not "feel" like having sexual intercourse. If
the husband and wife wait until they both "feel like it" to have
sexual intercourse, God would not have written I Corinthians 7:3 and 4.
Believing men and women are to love God enough that they work with their minds
and bodies to obey God. Believers work with their minds and bodies in many
other categories and try to "put on the new man" (Colossians 3:10),
so there is no reason for believers not to obey God in the sexual field.
If the husband and wife
will walk in the love of God and genuinely obey the written Word of God from
their hearts, they will find that they can work out their sexual differences.
The richness of the relationship as a husband and wife standing together on the
Word of God will be one of the greatest blessings of life.