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Editorial Section
How
to Extricate Yourself: A Guide To Liberty
(and help others) [extricate (ek-stra-kate) to free from
entanglement]
The
following article/help guide was compiled by Paul
& Bev Mosqueda (former Region coordinator of TWI's
Pacific Northwest region).
WayDale
is not affiliated with Paul & Bev Mosqueda nor do
we endorse him. WayDale has no affiliations with other
ex-Way groups. We are providing this for informational
purposes only. We do not necessarily agree with
anything in this article/help guide. |
I
Corinthians 10:13-14
There
hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:
but God is faithful, who will not suffer [allow] you to be
tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation
make a way to escape [also] that ye may be able to bear
[endure] it.
(Amplified
v.14)
Therefore,
my dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by
flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or
venerating anything more than God).
Dear
Ones,
Due
to a number of requests from people asking for help on how to
leave The Way International, we put together a list to help
them when needed. Utilize it wisely and be selective about who
you give it to. It may be best to give it to them in person.
Give them only what is needed. If you give the list, remove
names in case it falls into the wrong hands. Remember it is a
work in progress. We'd appreciate your input. Keep those still
in there in your prayers.
How
to Extricate Yourself
- Remember
they cannot exert any more power over you than you let
them have.
- Quite
a number of people shared that it is ideal whenever
possible to plan it out and just kind of fade away.
- Don’t
look for any reasonable rational thinking or actions from
others that stay in (especially leadership). The very idea
of your leaving attacks the value system that they have
lived under for quite some time.
- Talk
it through and be prepared to lose close friends and even
family for your stand on the Word. Even if you don’t get
marked and avoided you will be isolated to some degree. If
you are a leader or in a position of influence they will
work very quickly to destroy your name and reputation.
One
thing a number of people asked me to emphasize to people is
that when they do finally leave TWI is that rumors and lies
are frequently spread about them which will further discourage
people who are still in TWI from contacting them. And when
they can't find a lie or rumor that is credible enough for the
rank and file to believe, they will dredge up some incident or
habit from that person's past (for example: the person was
into drugs, love of money, went into debt, went out on his
wife, he was a delivered homosexual) and say that that person
has reverted to their former ways.
If
you get hit with this kind of devilishness read I Corinthians
5 from the Amplified Bible and remind yourself that you are
not the one who is covering for sin.
Soon
after you leave you will begin to see that you are not leaving
anything that significant. You are leaving bondage and
entering into your God given liberty. God is not a child
abuser.
Remember
your Godly priorities:
- (1)
God
- (2)
Your spouse if married
- (3)
Your children
- (4)
your close fellowship (those willing to take a stand for
God with you)
- (5)
Then others. Number 5 should never be put above #1 through
4
Do
not be surprised at how many decide not to act on the Word and
leave with you.
- Don’t
get talked into one more meeting.
- If
you have to say something, plan it out together on what to
say and what not to say.
- Don’t
get goaded into a fight. Avoid arguments but stand solidly
on the Word.
- Decide
ahead of time your agenda for informing leadership. Keep
it short. Keep in mind that whatever you say will most
likely get twisted.
- If
they press you for any kind of answer just tell them
"I just need time to think things through."
"We are taking the time to decide what we are going
to do."
- Stay
like-minded and stay with your pre-determined agenda.
- No
more contact is necessary. Don’t let emotion cause you
to change your plan (anger fear guilt etc.). Talk it over
and fully agree before you change any plan.
- Don’t
worry be happy. God has not left you and He will not leave
you. "You’ll discover happiness is not a foreign
concept."
- Get
call blocking,caller I.D, or use an answering machine to
see who is calling before you pick up. Instruct your
family not to take calls alone.
- Fight
the urge to convince others to leave with you. State your
position and reasons and leave their choice is up to them.
- Be
as friendly and cordial as possible to those who are still
in
- If
you have open doors to talk to them, use those times to
give kind encouraging words. Don’t talk down to them. Be
pleasant. Your blessed lifestyle will encourage them to
see there is life outside of TWI.
- Act
on the basis of the Word. Don’t react to the doubt,
worry, fear, unbelief, or cruelty of others. Keep yourself
in alignment and harmony. By staying warm and tender you
will keep yourself on the Word and in a position to be
there to help others as they decide to escape. Make
yourself and you family a rallying point for others that
decide to escape the bondage.
- You
may need to get yourself a clean Bible to read for a
while. Some have shared it really helps to get rid of
ministry literature, material, pictures etc. At least box
it up and put it out of sight for a while. Give yourself
time to heal.
A
great book to get and read as soon as you can is "The
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" by David Johnson
& Jeff VanVonderen. These men are not familiar with TWI
but you will spot the fruit immediately. It really helped me
get over the hurt and really ready to move into the grace
filled abundance of the Liberty we have in Christ Jesus.
- Don’t
condemn yourself for having extra time on your hands. Use
it to get yourself healed, pay attention to your family
and enjoy your new liberty.
- Don’t
be in a hurry to tell family not in the ministry that you
left TWI. To many of them you just quit one church.
Those
are a few that I have thought of, off the top of my head. It
takes the rightly divided Word of God, fitly spoken to mend
torn hearts and minds and plenty of love and tenderness to
help folks heal from the ravages of doctrinal error. We are
doing the best we can with our limited means, knowing that God
is all-powerful and all loving. It is great how He opens the
eyes. We are thankful there are others out there praying for
us through this transition.
This
is by no means the hard and fast final word on what will work
for you or meet your specific needs. Get wise counsel and act
on the Word to make your "escape." You and the
Father will determine the way you walk out of this. Talk it
through and have a solid plan and stick to it. All of this we
have put together from others who have made the move out of
TWI and are enjoying the Liberty. If you have more to add
we’d be blessed to receive
your suggestions and add them to the list. Enjoy your
freedom!
Psalm
119:45
And I will walk in LIBERTY for I seek thy precepts.
Additional
suggestions and comments that were added after this list was
sent out:
"When
we left, we simply sent a fax, stating that we no longer
desired to be a part of the organization. Each family member
signed it, and we asked that any further communication from
them be via regular mail. That way we don't get phone calls.
If we do, we can report them for harassment."
"We
are thankful there are others out there praying for us
through this transition."
Great
points on taking care of Children
"I
love this! I would add one more thing: discuss the plan with
children old enough to understand, but not too early. I
waited until 1 week prior to leaving to discuss with my
16-year-old, and of course discussed nothing with my 3 year
old except that we were moving, and dealt with each of their
concerns and questions according to age, etc. Of course,
deal with the older kids concerns about the friends they
will lose and the family members they may lose."
"Keep
a firm loving family structure but remove any legalism. It
will take a while to identify but God will help. It really
helps to sit down and discuss things but make sure that
conversations, especially with teens, is two way."
So
many people shared about the book
"A
book that really helped me is called THE
SUBTLE POWER OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE by Johnson and
VanVonderen, available at Christian-type bookstores. You
would swear that those folks had been in TWI, though they
were not. It was very eye opening to me (and very helpful)
to see and read what had happened and how I could be
spiritually delivered from the erroneous teachings (among
the truthful ones) that were used to control me. It has a
special section for ministers who may have been on the
controlling end of things, as well as being controlled.
A
reminder that we’re not ever alone
"It's
sure cool how as we take action on deciding to reclaim our
lives from the ministry, God is able to go work on our
behalf!"
Another
brave lady shares
"I
had leave under duress and by force because of the untrue
things that they said about me. [It was] all because I stood
up to my leadership when they were off the Word… You had
taught me a lot of sound doctrine and I knew what was right
and wrong.
Even
though I had to go, and it was the HARDEST thing that I have
ever had to do even if it was God's true will for me and my
life at that time. I will never regret my time learning the
Word of God, and serving others in the ministry, but, there
were changes that were not of God. So the time had come for
me to leave, I just needed more of a shove than a hint.
Father came through for me and He will for you too."
More
sound thinking
"I
left about a month before the lawsuit was actually
published. The local leadership are full of so much
hypocrisy. I have always had the impression that this all
stems from the very top and has filtered down to effect all
our lives through the years. My final words to the local
leadership were, "I know that there is life outside of
this ministry". I still stand on that statement. I will
pray and SIT for you and your family and any one else that
is making that sound spiritual decision to "obey God
rather man." Please continue to help those in your area
to see this in a spiritual light and not let the love of
"the ministry [TWI]" cloud their thoughts. I know
that HQ will try to paint or spin the actions of yourself
and others as negative and selfish."
Another
couples success formula
Thought
of a couple things that helped us:
1.
Remember this: YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG! It will help
reaffirm that your decision to stand for God and not stand
with TWI is the correct one.
2.
Congratulate yourself on the Word that you DO know and have
made your own. We were amazed at how much we were applying
in our lives, which made it that much easier to see, as we
left, (again) that we didn't do anything wrong!
3.
Continue to make the Word your own: Remind yourself of God's
promises to you. You will see that you have entered the REAL
Promised Land and the "true" household of God. You
have left a "household" that is run by the
adversary - celebrate your freedom!
4.
Remember that men and women process things differently.
Women may need to talk more; men may need more time to think
about what has happened. Keep this in mind as you and your
spouse stand together and work through this.
My
husband and I thought we had very good communication in our
12 years of marriage; now, more than ever and we truly
believe it is beautiful! We are completely like-minded and
FREE from the bondage and enslavement.
5.
Deuteronomy 28 IS NOT going to come to pass in your life, so
put away the fear-based thinking that was drummed into your
brain about it.
My
husband told me that he would have fear if we STAYED with
TWI; and to know my husband, he pretty much has NO fear in
his life. Again, thanks. I think we went through every point
you described. God Bless You and love to all of you who are
"standing with God!"
Another
Lady Shared
"I
will whatever I can in aiding people to leave TWI. It's
still hard to believe what this ministry has come to. But,
the longer I'm out the more sense I'm able to make of it.
God has sure blessed me in big ways [since I left]: Right
before I left TWI I was getting very sick. As soon as I
decided to leave I started getting better. Now I'm back to
being healthy. I really saw how religion and legalism brings
sickness and at times death.
Also,
I just got a major raise at work and they are paying my full
benefits, which is something they don’t do for anyone in
the whole corporation except the vice president! Yes, God is
still in business outside TWI! It's wonderful to have
"joy" and "peace" again.
You
can use my name anywhere you want. I'm not afraid of
anything. Since I have been here all these years, someone
will recognize my name and it could help him or her.
I
would be happy getting a letter together giving the account
of my leaving if it will help. Writing a letter will take
some thinking because since I left I have been recognizing
the legalism I have seen that was "creeping" in
for a while now."
A
portion of a letter that really helped us when we got out
"Our
hearts sure go out to you. So many people have been
slandered and maligned and placed under fear and bondage in
God's
name. That practice is so evil; it is spiritual abuse and so
blatantly contrary to the Word. "Good words and fair
speeches deceive the hearts and minds of the
simple...." I remember the PFAL class statement:
"I
wouldn't go to church with you, even if it was the truth of
the Word, I wouldn't go to church with you".
I
believe the point was that our Father, God, would not make
our communion with Him such a burden. He gave His Son so
that He could have a dwelling place, a family. Salvation is
a gift of His grace and my active, joy-filled walk with Him
continues to be a manifestation of that gift of grace. (E.g.
having begun in the spirit am I now made perfect in the
flesh? Gal 3:3).
God
opened a great door of grace for you and your family to
escape from those who continue to call light, darkness and
darkness, light. Hopefully, many saints in the days ahead
will escape the spirit of bondage and have the strength to
begin life anew. I do know that turmoil and the gamut of
emotions you're going through brings a deep, sharp pain to
your heart. In the midst of our mental anguish several years
ago, my husband would remind me that "Ephesians still
reads the same today as it did 30 years ago". God and
His Word have not changed."
The
Value of friendships
"We
value friendship very much and we spend time regularly with
friends praying together out loud and giving thanks to God
for all that He has done for us so freely through our Lord
and Saviour, Jesus Christ."
Another
exhortation
"Stay
convinced with your heart as a fire for God: don’t ever
let it be extinguished. Now that you have cast out the
scorner, take some time to heal. It is the rightly divided
Word of God, fitly spoken, that will eliminate any
confusion. Now you can proceed in the godly way He expects
and deserves."
A
wise appeal to stay in the Word!
"Staying
in the Word helped me the most. Psalm 119 and I Corinthians
5 were the real eye-openers for me. I really saw how Rev.
Martindale was not being dealt with according to the Word,
and how leadership was not being honest."
Put
your family first
"I
know for me, I knew our people needed us, but I had to put
our family first. It's really been great to see that if
people want help, or answers to what's going on, they'll
call, they'll ask. By the way, another friend called us last
night and he too is really frustrated with things and
probably will be out soon."
God
will make sure you get the Word you and your family need
"Another
concern people have is that there's nothing else out there.
When you tell them that there are other groups that teach
the Word, it helps them a lot. We've mentioned Christian
Family Fellowships (CFF) to several people and they're
blessed to hear all the names of those involved."
One
person shared:
"If
you do start a fellowship in your home I would love to be a
guest sometime. Best wishes. (Name withheld)"
Keep
yourself apt to teach but don’t get caught up in the
pre-occupation of getting people out of TWI. Jesus Christ was
sent to teach [well] to the poor [those humble people who were
meek to hear the truth. He was sent to those who were ready
for God’s perfect wholeness. He knew and had a mission to
teach the good news that would heal their hearts. He was sent
to herald deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight
to the blind, and to liberate those that were in bondage [Luke
4:18].
To
try to force people awake could cause them to get mad at you
and at odds with you:
II
Timothy 2:24-26
And
the servant [doulos] of the Lord must not strive; but be
gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.
In
meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God
peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging
of the truth;
And
that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the
devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
Stay
sweet and tender and in alignment and harmony with our
heavenly Father. Don't waste anytime trying to get people out
of the Way. Do make your life available to them (bless notes,
calls, e-mails etc.). Remember to act on the basis of God’s
Word; don’t react to the unbelief that can come in the form
of cold shoulders and cruelty. Be loving firm and friendly.
Then when they are ready, they will get in contact and ask for
help. By keeping yourselves sweet and tenderhearted you can be
those rallying points of truth for those recovering themselves
out of the snare of the adversary.
Sure
love you, you are the best.
Love
Paul and Bev
The
preceding article/help guide was compiled by Paul
& Bev Mosqueda (former Region coordinator of TWI's
Pacific Northwest region).
WayDale
is not affiliated with Paul & Bev Mosqueda nor do
we endorse him. WayDale has no affiliations with other
ex-Way groups. We are providing this for informational
purposes only. We do not necessarily agree with
anything in this article/help guide. |
|