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now-out-of-the-way

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About now-out-of-the-way

  • Birthday 05/19/1947

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  1. I couldn't think of a real snappy name, so I picked: "now out of the way." The icon I chose was the one that seemed most thoughtful, and also because it's looks and reminds me of Lenoard Cohen the songwriter/poet - a long time personal favorite. I also used an old e-mail account that I have for free offers and required e-mail address inputs, etc. I have the name Jason P. because Jason is my favorite mythological character, and the Peters part reminds me of Peter who was such a small stone in the sandles of Jesus Christ. Also, I really like that everyone here calls me Jason instead of "now out of the way." Even though its a pseudonym, I still really like everyone calling me Jason. FTR - my real name is Warren; I live in Cupertino, California, but way up in the Santa Cruz Mountains - just 30 minutes from the heart of the Silicon Valley. Like Sudo, I've been doing this sort of thing since way back when everyone called them BBSs; I think I got started back in 1991, or maybe early 1992. -Jason P.
  2. Ex-Cathedra, if you see this - my guess is you'll be missed very much around here. I know I liked your short economic style. It made me laugh - mostly at myself. Wherever you go from here, or if you come back, go in peace and with love. -Jason P.
  3. -Jason P. [This message was edited by now-out-of-the-way on September 10, 2002 at 0:23.]
  4. What I read here makes a lot of sense, and many people have said some really good things. Of everything I read so far, I almost totally agree with your take on these things. I especially like the part about "now being away from TWI" you can see... "the ideal is probably being with another person who loves God" and also, "God can work in our lives in spite of our choices." Jeeeezzzz... that is so true (at least for me it is). On those two points I can relate most wholeheartedly - despite my lack of experience in any form of marital bliss, but it makes total sense! So thanks for the advice. And also, not being around "believers" constantly has forced you to "seek God and learn to trust Him" on your own. Now that is really a worthwhile statement for me. At least, that's the way I see it. That exactly parallels my own life experience. The further away you get, the closer you really need to be, so there it is for you just the same - all you need to do is understand it, want it, and then ask for it. And presto - wham - bang - He's Baaaaaaack! And I agree; I doubt if Christian marriages are any more guaranteed than non-Christians ones. Whenever I hear a (dyed-in-the-woolies) fundamentalist Christian "whatever" spouting such stuff I want to run away ? leave the building post haste. I think that that kind of talk espouses a kind of spiritual arrogance that is unworthy of real Chirtianity ? at least that is my own very humble opinion. ...nice post! -Jason P. [This message was edited by now-out-of-the-way on September 08, 2002 at 15:01.]
  5. This opens up a whole can of big worms for me. After one really sad relationship almost right after leaving TWI, way back in the early-mid-seventies, I avoided any kind of intimacy altogether - get this, for fear of being considered unworthy, unwanted, and in the end unloved. Silly me! I substituted intoxicating substances for the lack of love and fellowship in my life. And after a six or seven year recovery from that protracted nightmare (drinking and drugs) I found out I lost my nerve completely ? beyond any doubt whatsoever! I figured why not become a monk of sorts. So I found every excuse in the book I could use to stay independent. The ultimate answer was a regional engineering job that took me out and away from home frequently, and for long stretches of time. It was the perfect alibi; I even believed it myself for I don?t know how long. But after another eight years I realized I was only hoodwinking myself ? denial is a wonderful thing! So I take up another occupation, one closer to home this time, but leave that after a couple of years and wind up going back to school to become an artist and writer. So, I am in school meeting all kinds of really young and great looking, women ? all too young for me however. Many are/were Europeans and didn?t seem to mind the age discrepancy all that much ? but I did! I mean what do you talk about after the usual stuff. Twenty-six year old girls are pretty one-dimensional. After a little bit, along comes a thirty-eight year old gal - a serious Christian woman at that - Wow! She spends the next few months exploring who I am and visa versa. I hold nothing back I am committed to the total truth, hoping my explanations are good enough. After about eight months she decides I am not worthy, really wanted, and not very lovable - in general not for her... "so please don?t come to church with me anymore!" We remain friends to this day, despite several fights over what was the best for our ?friendship.? We have eventually gotten to some resolution on this. When we disagree on some aspect of our friendship, or the interactions concerning it, we have agreed only state what bothers either or the other, without any kind of emotional and moral judgement. Leave the morality, the judgements, and the legalisms to God. And that works great! When we are odds with each other now, it only lasts a few minutes and passes without lasting injury to opposite party. And we truly are good friends. She prefers my company to many of her not so regular boyfriends. Her daughter is a bit of a problem child ? lots of temper tantrums - but this kid loves me more than any other male in her life. When I come around, this kid is two feet off the ground. She even gets mad at me if I spend too much time talking to her mom. That?s how much this little girl thinks of me, and the feeling is pretty mutual on my part too. Well, this is really great except her mother still thinks I am unworthy, and unlovable ? despite my many efforts to prove otherwise ? maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy? I have come to realize that this very sweet woman has real issues I cannot possibly deal with until she decides to deal with them herself, and that may never happen in my lifetime. Some people I?ve consulted think she is neurotic maybe beyond hope. Unfortunately for me, she still thinks she is morally and spiritually superior ? despite our long discussions about such things. All I can do is accept her for who and what she is and love her as a good friend (agape). So I guess I am back to square one - I am what I feared I would become. Oh well, better luck next lifetime. The moral of my very wordy story (sorry for that) is don't judge a book by its cover, and if you want to date do it ASAP - don't wait. Please don't qualify the other by their spiritual dog tags. We are all spiritual like it or not - some more than others, and these things happen in any circumstance, any church, or any living room. I say make the best of what it is you have and don't ever go it alone for the long term - it really hurts. If nothing else, I learned that from my "Christian" woman friend. When I see just how alone this woman really is, and how unalone I typically feel in comparison to it, I just want to shout in her ear to wake-up! But I can't do that can I? It would be impolite of me. -Jason P.
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