Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

Shelly

Members
  • Posts

    32
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Shelly

  1. Ex10, I believe that one of the greatest challenges each of us have in life is learning to be comfortable with who we are. I think you helped her do just that. Could that ever be wrong?
  2. JL, no Tenth Corps. That Corps was in training when I got involved with TWI, I think. 1980?
  3. ex10 said, “I just don't get why male couples are ok, and female couples nobody wants to wait on, or deal with.” I think that is true in most areas, whether homo or hetero. Generally speaking: In restaurants, female tables are known to be cheap and lousy tippers. In retail situations, males are more decisive making them easier to wait on, females shop. I think it is has more to do with them being male or female, not gay or lesbian. But that is just my experience. Attitude does have a lot to do with it. But I tend to think the attitude will be there whether sexual orientation is an issue or not. ExWayDaryl, I hope Gay Pride in Chicago handles itself better than Gay Pride in New Orleans. I went a couple of times and left wondering what the hell they had to be proud of. They gave the rest of us a bad name! We have a weekend called Southern Decadence, in September I think. Hundreds of drag queens are in the French Quarter drinking, limping in their heels, and showing their foot, some of them literally. Thousands come to town to participate in the decadence. I guess it is in the name, but I don’t have any problems with that event. Go figure.
  4. Eagle, great post! I didn’t agree with a word you said. However, I like the way you said it. You stated your opinion without trashing anyone in the process
  5. LOL. Very funny. I can see your point Satori, although I don’t necessarily agree with it. The defending of oneself didn’t arise until the attacks escalated. It developed as people took sides. I agree, some of Catcup’s comments were uncalled for, but that is what happens when we can’t get our point across no matter how we try, how we reword it. It is frustrating, especially when some of the accusations had nothing to do with the topic. A lot of the comments to RG and Catcup concerned not answering quick enough, who they fellowshipped with, someone named Shroyer as if they are his keeper, and the suggestion that they are trolls. Satori, trolls??? Catcup and RG??? That is funnier than the first line of this post! It seems to me that Catcup and RG are judged more harshly than most here, because of their past. I was wondering the other day if anyone else had posted what Geek did, would they have received the same attitude from some of the posters. I think it would depend on whether the person starting the topic had been WC, whether they were involved with an offshoot, and/or their opinion of Vic. Some here can get away with it, others can’t. BTW, awesome post on page 3, forgiveness vs. absolution. (Catcup and RG, I apologize for talking about you as if you aren’t here.)
  6. Ain’t life grand! I get it, Cool. I misunderstood your post. Sorry. I’ve been wondering why this thread is bringing up such controversy. For me it is really simple, you either will or won’t – do or don’t. No big deal really. So what if others think I am right or wrong. I am the one who has to live with the decisions I make. I think some times we bristle at the idea of being back in the environment of TWI that we don’t hear what others are trying to say. Personally, I like threads like this. Different views, approaches and reactions help me understand me better. I am the one I have to live with, after all. For what it is worth, CoolWaters, I admire the way you have fought for you through out the years. That goes for many of the people who have posted on this thread.
  7. I would like to amend this statement Just for the record, Catcup responded the way many of us have when someone we care for is perceived as being misunderstood and attacked. I am remembering some of my own past posts. Some of them weren’t pretty. :)-->
  8. When I think of forgiveness, I think of harboring no ill will towards the other. Just because I forgave doesn’t mean I want to renew anything. My dad was in and out of my life. He was abusive. He drank. He destroyed many when he killed his second wife. I have psycho family members because of his influence in their lives. Two years before he died, he became very ill and we thought he wouldn’t make it. I went to see him. I told him everything I had wanted to say: I forgave him, I was proud he had been sober for 13 years, there was nothing he had done, was doing or would ever do that would cause me hate him. I didn’t see him for two years. I never saw him again. People couldn’t understand why I didn’t go to him when I learned he was dieing. I figured I had already told him, two years before, everything I needed to say. What was the point? Just to be there? I saw no obligation to change the relationship he had cultivated with me all my life. After all the pain there was nothing left to restore. So, my forgiveness was all there was to offer. I have no regrets. I can understand anger being so strong that the mere thought of forgiving brings it to the surface. I doubt RG meant to stir anyone’s emotions. But with the subject being forgiveness, could it really be avoided? Not likely. Just for the record, Catcup responded the way many of you have when someone you care for is perceived as being misunderstood and attacked. Satori, Ex, Coolwaters, and others? Remember? Nice to see you again outofdafog.
  9. Hey, CoolWaters, thanks for the WhoIs search. It made me wonder. Most businesses have all their email addresses formatted the same way. Soooooo, if an email is sent to RosalieRivenbark@theway.org, would she receive it? Things that make me go, hummm?
  10. Exie, I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.
  11. I don’t know, Sky4it. Abigail’s comment, “… taking with me the knowledge that despite it all and more likely because of it all, I am a stronger and better person now…”, that comment is something I can relate too. There is a lot of strength to be gained in fighting for your sanity, staying afloat amidst the reproof and corrections, simply surviving what could very well have drown me.
  12. Rascal, take it from some one who lurks and seldom posts, you are not coming off as a heartless hate mongering bitch. Not by a long shot. You obviously are dealing with your past and your beliefs, just like the rest of us. I find your posts thought provoking and you have helped me pull my thoughts together. I just love it when posts do that for me. To forgive or not to forgive? That is only for you to decide, in my own life, in my own time. The same is true for each of us.
  13. I have spent my entire morning reading this thread. Thanks to everyone who posted on it. Interestingly enough, I can see each of your views. Scary isn’t it? :)--> All the posts have helped me formulate my own thoughts and convictions. The thing I see is that offering forgiveness to another is a very personal thing for each of us. Rascel, I wish I could address your Luke 17:3 question. But it says, “If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.” Maybe some of us never got the opportunity to rebuke those that sinned against us? I have a few of those in my life and it ....es me off. Coulda, woulda, shoulda at the time, huh? But it ain’t go,na happen. So, what now? Forgiveness can be given for all the right reasons and still be dead wrong. One of the things I used to tell people when I was fighting my drinking problem is – “DON’T EVER tell me it is Ok. You were drunk. You didn’t mean it.” All that did was make me feel better. They just loved me. They just wanted me to feel better. The better I felt, the less I saw a need to change. Guess what? Sorry doesn’t make it better. Change does. So, where does forgiveness fit for me? I can’t change what I have done. I can change me, so I will NEVER hurt someone in my drunken stupor again. I can change me, and not continue to do the things I have done, in TWI and out. I can forgive me for being an arrogant, self-righteous, prideful, and self-loathing person, hurting so many so often, and gain solace from the fact that I am working to change that. I have come a long way. But ask anyone that knows me. I have a long way to go :D--> Others who have hurt me? Family? Strangers? TWI? There are many. Some times anger rises so powerfully within me at the thought of past injuries that I want to lash out and literally hurt them. It shocks me sometimes, the rage within. I have to remind myself that I have no control over another. I can’t change what happened. I have to accept that. My anger usually turns to sorrow for them. I do feel sorry for them. I agree with Catcup, “The offender carries the burden. He or she must live with what they have done. And in the case of a sociopath who has no conscience, don't fool yourself into thinking they suffer no consequences. They do. It manifests itself as deficits in many other areas of their lives.” I can’t imagine what must go through their minds in those few minutes just before they are fully awake or fully asleep, when they are the most vulnerable to their own thoughts. You know, before the defensives that protect us from ourselves are fully in place. Did they mean to hurt me? I don’t really care if they did. It wouldn’t matter one way or another. I am just tired of feeling the pain over and over again when I remember. I am tired of the anger and who I have become because of it. Thanks for all your posts. It has been awhile since I have considered this subject and it is worthy of consideration.
  14. WhiteDove, thank you for your post on page 5. I thoroughly enjoyed your recap of the accomplishments of Charles Sheldon. I think there are too few people willing to put judgments and prejudices aside and really try to understand another’s situation. Talk about walking in their shoes. Very cool.
  15. Hi, Jack. I was in Plattsburgh, NY Jan 80 to July 81, then transferred Lowery AFB, Colorado. If I had to do it over, I would. But it was something I would never do again. Kind of like with TWI.
  16. Hi, Danny. You have a great attitude! Hope your leg gets better real soon. You wrote, “would love to drink lemonade if you have a story of a great thing that happened becasue of a bad.” I have been trying to remember times like that in my life. There is the time when I got a DUI and as a result, I HAD to go to AA. I had tried to go before that but was scared to go through the door. I HAD to go, or go to jail. I was more afraid of jail. Been sober ever since. I broke my foot when I was in the military. I couldn’t work on the F111’s for a while so I was assigned to instructor duty. That was so cool. I had always wanted to teach but never had the ambition to go to college and there I was. I taught the theory of electronics and loved it. Foots all better. There was the time I was driving into my drive-way and the tie-rod came off my right tire. When I had stopped one wheel is turned to the left, the other to the right. I had just gotten off the expressway after driving 20 miles. But I guess that doesn’t qualify. Surely there is more. My life seems so boring. :D-->
  17. Thanks for the reply, Oldies. I appreciate your candor. I understand. When I left I was so tired of living up to those standards. It took me a long while to realize that it wasn’t even God’s standards I was trying to meet. It was “leadership’s” ideas of what those standards were. Not that that is/was the case with you. You just got me thinking. You remember auxano, or however you spell it? What was it, growth without compulsion? I never understood that. I mean, why did I have to work so hard for something that was supposed to be so natural? Push, push, push and force the growth. Make it happen by shear will and works. It really was works, all of it. Grace was replaced by how well I did or how long I forced myself to SIT. It was replaced by how many fellowships I attended and if I ABSed. Grace was replaced by my arrogance and lack of humility. It is much easier now. Auxano really is a wonderful thing.
  18. I hated that! Maybe they were concerned with me and just wanted to add to the knowledge I had gained. But the results were resentment and hard-heartedness. When I first heard that twi started telling people what to study, I couldn’t believe it. Talk about NOT working out your own salvation with fear and trembling! How sad. Are they still as “directive” as that? Anyone still in, or recently out, know?
  19. I am so glad people can relate to my post! Thank you all for your stories and comments. I have had a few tuff days at work and you have caused me to smile. :)--> Oldiesman, you said, I’m curious. What changed? Waterbuffalo, I almost didn’t register with my real name because of confusion with Shellon. It is just when Jesse, my dog, died I realized the strength he had given me was now my own. I thought I would try standing on “my own two feet,” so to speak. Maybe I will go back to being JesseJoe. He was some special animal! He helped me be someone I could live with. Anyway, sorry for the confusion. And what you said about Shellon – my sentiments exactly.
  20. I am so excited for me! While in TWI I had mastered the harshness and arrogance necessary for “living” with the laws set forth. You know the ones I mean, the “grace, but” variety, the good vs. best kind? Remember how you would honestly do your best, only to hear you could have done better? Remember when YOU KNEW it was right, for example, to give your ABS to the person who gave you a ride to fellowship, only to be bashed by your TC/FC for not putting God first and giving it to the ministry instead? Remember when you had seen something in the Bible that just blew you away, only to have the joy ripped from your heart as you shared it with someone you respected? Remember your honest, heart-searching, prayerful questions and decisions getting you labeled as possessed? I chose to become hard and arrogant, as opposed to crushed, by my constant exposure to criticism. I can remember the moment it started. It was about 3 ½ years into my Way Stay. I developed it for another 5 years. Anyway, I was what so many hate about TWI. I have been trying to change that about me for years now. Well today I saw progress! I went to the store and while I was waiting to pay for my purchase, the person in front of me was telling the cashier to put one of her items back because she didn’t have enough money. It was only small change so I said just add it to my bill and I would cover it. The girl mumbled a thank you and left. I felt good for taking the opportunity to give. As I was driving off I saw the girl going back into the store with money in her hand. There was a time that that would have sent me into a rage of self-righteous indignation. “How dare she except help from me when she didn’t really need it!” Sick attitude, I know, but it was mine. Always trying to control everything. Even the things I had given. Today, however, my response was different. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that it didn’t matter to me. I didn’t fly off into a rage of indignation. I just drove happily home thinking of “how I used to be.” I acted on something I wanted to do and the results were unimportant. I just think that is so cool! OK, tell me you can relate to this “Ah-ha” experience. The thing is, I thought some things in my life would never change after TWI. If it happened to me, there is hope for all! :)-->
  21. Steve, I think your second question was answered in John’s reply to you. Maybe John didn’t say the word, “yes”, in his reply, but the below quotes indicate he does. That is an answer in itself. Just my opinion, but that is what I read. “… because I believe that we did hear the Word as it had not been taught since the first century…” ”But the evils of the TWI system must be separated from the awesome truth of God's Word that was taught, and which saved the lives of countless people, and those who have not made that distinction have thrown out the baby with the bathwater.” “Tens of thousands of people had positive experiences with TWI and learned the Word like they could not have anywhere else. The Enemy saw clearly that VPW/TWI did have a (1) package of biblical truth unlike anything for centuries, and (2) a rapidly growing number of people committed to spreading it around the world, so he used the character flaws of many leaders, combined with significant doctrinal error, to tear apart what really did have the potential to take the Word over the world.” ”We have simply tried to hold to all the good we found in TWI while deleting the doctrinal and practical error…” ”Furthermore, none of those groups comes close to teaching the truth that TWI taught nor doing the amount of good TWI did…”
  22. Hi, John. Didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to say thanks for being you. It has been four years since I met you at a meeting in Houston. That night you helped me remember that God is, and always has been, a God of grace, mercy and forgiveness. You helped me remember that our brother, Jesus Christ, truly has paid the price. It was, and is, a wonderful feeling, returning to my first love. God bless you tenderly.
  23. ((((Linda)))) Hi, MJ. I admire people who can go to new places and meet new people, AND enjoy it. You wrote, “it might be because you think that is the only way you can meet or be accepted.” Yes, it was. But thankfully I don’t feel that way anymore. Now my need to be accepted is more balanced and not as important as it used to be. I have grown to accept me for me and if others don’t, well, it is really no loss to either one of us. I would be lying if I said others opinions of me don’t matter. Rottie, Wayfer Not! and Linda made my day when they acknowledged my return! That means that I meant something. There was a time when I would have been devastated if no one had. It would have been a great excuse to go hide my sorrows in a bottle. There were many bars where everyone knew my name and cared if I came or went. I sought that. I sought to be accepted. But they didn’t know me. They knew me drinking. Socially, that is what we did. Socially, that is what I sought. When I quit, the common bond we had was taken away. When I took that away nothing was ever the same and I lost most everyone I felt comfortable with. That is what I meant by, “Imagine if your relationship with then was based on eating steak dinners. Now imagine you have gone vegan.” Socially I wasn't accepted any more. If you crave that acceptance like I did, it is a great loss. Maybe that isn’t a good example. I guess you had to be there. :)-->
  24. Hi, MJ, you asked, “my question is why. why do people want to get drunk or do drugs?” I can’t speak for others, but for me it was because it felt good. It sure as hell beat the alternative. Wasn’t happy and drinking helped me avoid dealing with that unhappiness. Of course, you couldn’t have told me I wasn’t happy. But I wasn’t. “alcohol is a depressant it just makes you sadder…” Very true. But I wouldn’t accept that. I even had blood work done hoping there was something physical that explained why I was so depressed all the time. If I admitted I was depressed because of the drinking I would have had to give up “my best friend.” ”why if alcohol is messing up your life why do you still drink?” I kept drinking because even though alcohol was messing up my life, it was better than dealing with the simmering rage I always felt inside. I didn’t like me drunk, but I didn’t like me sober any better. Actually, I liked me sober even less. I finally made staying sober more important than me. It wasn’t until two years after I stopped drinking my anger began to dissolve. But that is another topic. ”why is it so difficult to say Im not doing that agin? is it your friends? that cant be it as many hide the problem and drink alone .” No, it was never my friends. But to say I’m not going to do it again, which I did often, is saying that now I am going to deal with Shelly. I hated Shelly. It was easier to drink. ”it can not be social pressure I do not drink and my friends and family like me and I am welcomed drinking tea or water where ever I go .” Your family and friends know you as a nondrinker. Imagine if your relationship with then was based on eating steak dinners. Now imagine you have gone vegan. ”I do not think it is always self esteem issues where people are shy either snd need a drink to "open up" .” You are probably right. With me, however, it was self esteem issues. ”what is the attraction? what do you get from being drunk if you know it isnt something you want to do ?” Instant gratification. You don’t have to work for anything. You just drink and, BAM!, instant gratification. ”I smoke I do not like that and I have been unable to quit but it does not change me or get me into trouble .” True. Plus with smoking you don’t wake up with a hang over AND you remember what you did the night before. ”is it a desire like smoking?” For me it was/is. It is still instant gratification. Why deal with the frustration and anxiety of not doing something, when all I have to do in order to feel better is keep doing it? Thanks for asking, MJ. I never want to forget why I drank, or why I stopped drinking. You helped me do that.
×
×
  • Create New...