Morgan

Have you seen a counselor? Counseling did wonders for me! I don't know that I let much fall behind in terms of taking care of stuff. But I used to have horrible panick attacks. I learned to breath through them. I don't think I have any definitive ideas/answers for you, other than checking out counseling. BUT if you can survive 28 years of TWI and then leave, you are a strong person. Somewhere inside you that strength lies and once you see it within yourself, there will be no stopping you from accomplishing whatever you decide you want to.

"So, you build your life around a ministry that teaches you to forsake your unbeliever friends and family. You build your life around an emotionally and mentally unstable man. You put thousands of miles between you and your family or people who could help you. You believe it just might get better, all you need is the next ___________ class. You get hit over the head with scripture enough to believe that something WILL happen to YOU if you leave - and since you're the bottom of the leadership food chain because you're a married woman... Well... Yeah, who wouldn't feel they had no choices but to stay in a mess like that? It was only when we really hit rock bottom and had NOTHING left to loose" Yup, me too. When I reached the point that the risk of death was worth it, I left. When you've never been in such a situation, it is very difficult to understand the way the mental (not even talking here about the physical) abuse wears you down over time. It is insidious, and it usually starts out, much like TWI did, with a slow erosion of boundaris so that you often aren't even aware that it is occuring.

Little in life is clear cut and simple. Some of us had warning signs of what was to come, some didn't. Some of us hoped the "love of God in the renewed mind" would cause the Mr. Hyde part of our spouses to disappear, only to find out that TWI actually caused Dr. Jekyll to disappear instead. (Or do I have that reversed? - you know what I mean). Some of us have repeated this pattern of abusive relationships, some have not. But I would bet that almost anyone, male or female, who stayed in an abusive relationship for a length of time came out of that relationship with self-esteem issues, and many of us had them before we got into the relationship. If I could impart one message to my sisters, it would be to love and accept yourself. Then and only then will you have relationships with people who will also love and accept you, intead of with people who want to fix/change/or abuse you. Yes, Pond, I am aware of the repetitiveness of the abusive cycle/relationships. I lived it most of my life, starting with my childhood. I was fed negatives about myself as far back as I can remember and many of them I believed. I think I also once believed if there wasn't anger and fighting, then there wasn't passion and love. That is not necessarily the case for all the women here, but it was in my case. It was only through counseling and learning to love myself AND to take care of myself that I was able to break that cycle. It can be broken, though, and that is good news.

Wow, Shell, that is really sick! "Im not blaming the victim I just do not understand how woman can always play the victim in these marriages. I see many women who have these type of exspectations form men then complain when it goes to far in their estimation. that is the part I do not get. " It is a sick dance that requires two. But having once been one of those women, I do get it. We were raised on fairy tales. We were taught that some day our "Prince Charming" would come sweep us off our feet and we would live happily ever after. Add to that low self-esteem and it is a recipe for disaster. The problem with men who want to play the hero is that they only feel like men when they are playing the hero. If you marry them, and then reach a place where you no longer need rescuing, they have to beat you down so they can rescue you all over again. And because your self esteem is aleady low, it is easy for them to keep you down or beat you down further. The thing is, until you've lived it - - you really have no idea how bad it is going to become after your hero has rescued you. Much better to save yourself and then, later, maybe you will meet someone who wants to be your partner instead of your hero. But hindsight usually is 20/20

Holy smokes :D I never thought this thead would take off like this. I do think it is wonderful that a church would send out buses to pick up those who cannot drive on their own. But I still take issue with the driver approaching my children first, instead of approaching ME first. BTW, the driver never said a single word to me. I ONLY found out about the parental permission slip part because I called the church after the incident took place. It isn't an issue of whether or not I agree with the particular church doctrine, it is an issue of safety and respect. As far as background checks go, I have no idea what may or may not have been done in that category.

My kids were out front shoveling snow today. They are young, 7 and 9. They were shoveling the front sidewalk, their dad was in back, and I was doing some housework and keeping an eye on them out the window. A bus pulled up in front of them and stopped. The bus driver asked them if they would like to come to church. I saw the whole thing and was very proud of my children's prompt, "no thanks". However, I was appalled that a this bus driver would approach two young children and invite them to ride the bus to church (one we've never attended) without first asking for a parent's permission. I called the church and complained. I was told they send buses all over the city to pick people up and bring them to church and it is not unusual for their drivers to ask people (including children) they see, if they would like to come to church. They also told me that before the children would have been allowed on the bus, they would have had to come in and ask me, and have me sign a permission slip. Nonetheless, I find this practice very disturbing. I find it even more disturbing, that there are parents out there who might give their young children permission to get on a bus full of strangers and go to church without them.

"A lot is left up to the local areas to work in the way they need to, to meet the needs of their people. " "The leadership that was so awful and controling to my family is still in place" I'm with Bramble on this one. The people who gave such detrimintal counseling to my family are still leadership here. Their counseling ultimately played a big role in destroying my family and included things like it being okay to hit a toddler with a spoon hard enough to leave bruises. It isn't enough to just leave everything to local leaders, especially local leaders who were well schooled in the Martindale School of Leading via Abuse. IN fact, that is a cop-out. So what the board can now say they didn't authorize that counseling? But they did, by leaving these poorly trained schmucks in place.

Like you, I have spent my share of years in TWI, an organization that fed people lies for profit and power. Therefore, I feel I can speak with some sense of understanding when I suggest that instead of continuing in the arrogance that we were taught via TWI, you rethink and rework what you were taught. God teaches those who are meek to learn, not those who believe they already have the answers. I would also recommend praying and meditating on these subjects, as knowledge alone "puffeth up". I do not pretend to have the answers, because I am still seeking. But I do know that no God who holds people to a legalistic standard regarding words can be all loving. No God who would condemn those who've never been taught can be all loving. Would you condemn your child for having never been taught something? I doubt it.

"What I am telling in this topic is that you may go to RC chuch u other and never born again, that is not just 75 if that happen that people is lost. A fact is that the RC church had added a lot of water to the milk!" Are you God that you know who has found salvation and favor with God?

Bow - you wouldn't by chance have the My Brother Russel skit where he tries to flush Russel down the toilet, do you? I LOVE Cosby!!!! (((Paw)))) Thanks for posting my song!!!!!!

I wanted to post my favorite New Years song, but alas it is on tape, not cd. So maybe one of you more savy people can find it. It's "New Years Day" by U2

Thanks for sharing that Oldies, I have an entirely new perspective on Catholisicm (SP) and a whole new respect for Catholic people.

I can't decide if this is absolutely hilarious or totally cruel go here

Call a couple heating and air condition companies and see if they will "special order" the right sized filter in a "poly" for you. They should have vendors who will make filters in any size needed. You don't need fancy allergy filters, but you definitely want something better than fiberglass. I recommend either poly or pleated, and these are generally inexpensive.

"It's still available to enjoy God's Word being taught, I still love learning about the Bible" It's always been available, with or without TWI to learn about the Bible. In fact, I would say in many respects TWI hindered my growth and love of learning. "the Greatest ministry is THE WORD and the healing power of Loving others! He said; "people need confidence in God and his Word, NOT A MAN, The Word-The Word"!" How about confidence in GOD, instead of worshiping a book? "all through the years he's never asked 1 man or 1 woman specifically, to give anything to this ministry" No, he demanded that ALL wayfers, male and female, give to the ministry, not just one. "thanks God he doesn't have members in the Way ministry. We just plant and water and hold forth the Word. Those who hire can fire- But in the Way ministry you can't join anything, so nobody can throw you out. Stay as long as you like" Wonderful example of how what was taught was NOT what was practiced.