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BecomingMe

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BecomingMe last won the day on May 26 2019

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  1. DWBH, what can I say? Thank you SO much for the love and your comments. I can’t quite find the words to tell you all how much I appreciate being welcome here. To answer a couple comments - I have 4 therapists and am on a battery of meds. I’ve been doing this latest round of hard work with said therapists for a year and a half. I think what has discouraged me is how deep the injuries go into my subconscious mind. But I am and will continue working. Being ME here is a big step I’ve wanted to take for years. Thanks again for the comfort <3
  2. Well, I only feel comfortable speaking for myself, and I’m not so great. Working on it, though. I have a life that is full and that I’m really grateful for - two little girls, a husband (also a former Way kid), a career that I love in education. Now if I can work out really detaching the old way programming from my head, I’ll be all right...
  3. Hey, all. It’s been awhile since I’ve stepped into the diner. I’m outing myself today because it’s too painful to keep my silence anymore, and I’m struggling right now. My name is Leah - I’m LCM’s oldest child. I don’t know what to do next...I feel like I need to speak, but I don’t know what to say. I’m just so tired of hurting. Penworthy, it’s lovely to “see” you here. I so appreciate your compassion...
  4. BecomingMe

    LCM

    Responding to WordWolf (sorry, i don’t have the “quote” thing down yet) - I do think there’s a style for everyone - meaning, he did appeal to a group of people, although much smaller than vp did. I’m not saying I disagree with your analysis; that’s all true, but a lot of people liked him and believed in him (misguidedly). Cult leaders are able to keep a certain number of followers, even if small, for a reason. But, to answer your question, it’s old wayfers with no group. Just listening to him specifically. And I don’t think he identifies with vp so much anymore. I think in his mind, he m
  5. BecomingMe

    LCM

    I hear from a reliable source that he’s doing phone hookups now. Which really ....es me off. I think this is evidence that the leopard hasn’t changed his spots. Still a predator. But when has mental illness ever fixed itself? Given his views on counseling (we don’t have to pay for someone to help us when the way has all the answers!), I doubt he’s sought out help.
  6. AOS both terrified and fascinated me as a child. I saw it live as a young kid and then me and my way friends were obsessed with learning the choreography - of the seed of the serpent. She fascinated us the most. Very healthy. Ugh.
  7. Ohmygod watching the one video on YouTube that I can find from athletes...I don’t even have the words. https://www.chron.com/entertainment/arts-theater/article/Art-Daybook-Inside-the-memory-of-a-cult-13066647.php This is a review of the installation. Sounds like he captured the confusion and darkness of cult life (sorry if someone else already posted this).
  8. Wow, you all are wonderful! I love that I’m engaging with people who understand!! I do have several people in my life that came out of the way, but many of you have a different perspective, which I find valuable. I’m so grateful for the level of insight and kindness you all share. I really appreciate all the book recommendations - I will add them to my list :-) When I was first half-in, half-out and trying to figure out what to do, Greasespot was so helpful, especially the documents that came directly from the way. By that time, I understood that I wanted to be part of things that practic
  9. Ok, here goes. I grew up mostly at HQ - not in the frying pan; in the fire. The standards for children there were ridiculous. Basically, be perfect. Listen, remember, obey. Be a good example. Don’t be a stumbling block. Dress appropriately. Speak respectfully. Don’t be angry. Don’t be sad, be thankful. I watched some kids, especially as teenagers, become angry and rebellious. Others, like me, became as compliant and people-pleasing as a person could possibly be. I was complimented often on my “meekness.” In childhood, this meant a rather controlled atmosphere. As a teenager, it was a
  10. Thanks, everyone, for the welcome. I find that through these difficulties, others’ compassion is pure gold. I love that several of you are here to help the rest of us - thank you! Taxidev and Waysider, I would say I’m atheist when I’m angry and agnostic when I’m calm. It’s wonderful that so many perspectives are represented here. That’s how we learn, right? I’m finding lately that some of the things I still struggle with have so much to do with cult practices - “us vs. them” being one of them. It seems to me that served the purpose of keeping people trapped. At the same time, I do b
  11. So, I’ve lurked here for a long time, and now with my heart pounding, have created an account and am saying hello. I’ve been out of TWI for over 10 years; it took me almost 10 before that to work my way out. I grew up in twi, birth to twenties. Now I’m working my way through diagnoses of PTSD, anxiety, and depression, all after I thought I’d dealt with the big stuff. I hope you all are faring better, but I’m guessing maybe not if you’re here. A book that is really helping me understand all this is “Combatting Cult Mind Control” by Steven Hassan. If you’re looking for a sometimes distressi
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