Three engineers were going out hunting at an oldtimer's cabin out in the mountains.
The three arrived at the cabin before the oldtimer and noticed that the woodstove was set up in a normal manner in the corner, except it was sitting atop a table.
The three immediately started coming up with reasons as to why the stove was installed in such a manner.
"Obviously, it creates a thermal draft to distribute the heat more evenly" said the first.
"No, it's readily apparent that it will draw the denser air from higher in the room for more complete combustion", said the second.
"Oh, don't be absurd!" chimed in the third. "Anybody can tell that it's simply an ergonomic advantage for loading wood into the stove."
Finally, the oldtimer arrived, and when queried as to the design of the woodstove replied, "Well, that's all the stovepipe I had to get through the roof."
During the French Revolution, a doctor, a lawyer and an engineer are sentenced to death by guillotine. First the doctor is lead to the guillotine, strapped down and the blade is released. The blade comes flying down and jams inches from the doctor's neck. The crowd shouts "a miracle, a miracle, set him free" and they set him free. Next the lawyer is lead to the guillotine and strapped down. Once again, the blade flys down and stops just inches from his neck. Again the crowd shouts "a miracle, a miracle, set him free" and the lawyer walks free. Finally the engineer is lead to the guillotine and as they start to strap him down, he points up and says "I think I see your problem".
A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.
He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring...
which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by ....ing and moaning
A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.
He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring...
which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by ....ing and moaning
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
that golf one.........
tooooooooo funny
thanks
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T-Bone
Great ones, SafariVista - love 'em all !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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topoftheworld
Having dated an engineer, I can attest that all of the above are true.
Arguing with an engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a few hours, you realize that he likes it.
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dmiller
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ChasUFarley
Oh, man - that's the truth about them!
The same can apply to mathematicians - I'm married to one, so I know!
Scheesch!
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Shellon
ROFL! So true
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George Aar
Three engineers were going out hunting at an oldtimer's cabin out in the mountains.
The three arrived at the cabin before the oldtimer and noticed that the woodstove was set up in a normal manner in the corner, except it was sitting atop a table.
The three immediately started coming up with reasons as to why the stove was installed in such a manner.
"Obviously, it creates a thermal draft to distribute the heat more evenly" said the first.
"No, it's readily apparent that it will draw the denser air from higher in the room for more complete combustion", said the second.
"Oh, don't be absurd!" chimed in the third. "Anybody can tell that it's simply an ergonomic advantage for loading wood into the stove."
Finally, the oldtimer arrived, and when queried as to the design of the woodstove replied, "Well, that's all the stovepipe I had to get through the roof."
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rhino
I'm not sure what PETA would say about that ... I usually limit my pig mud wrestling bouts to 45 minutes, but I admire your stamina ...
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SafariVista
Understanding Engineers- Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers- Take Six
Four engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer, just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The third said, "It was obviously a chemical engineer, just think about all the reactions taking place each second in the body."
The last one said, "You're all wrong, it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers- Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers- Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you?
I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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topoftheworld
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Jim
During the French Revolution, a doctor, a lawyer and an engineer are sentenced to death by guillotine. First the doctor is lead to the guillotine, strapped down and the blade is released. The blade comes flying down and jams inches from the doctor's neck. The crowd shouts "a miracle, a miracle, set him free" and they set him free. Next the lawyer is lead to the guillotine and strapped down. Once again, the blade flys down and stops just inches from his neck. Again the crowd shouts "a miracle, a miracle, set him free" and the lawyer walks free. Finally the engineer is lead to the guillotine and as they start to strap him down, he points up and says "I think I see your problem".
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topoftheworld
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Kit Sober
A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.
He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring...
which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by ....ing and moaning
A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.
He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring...
which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by ....ing and moaning
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
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Tom Strange
all of these are so true... I suffer from most of them although I'm not an engineer... but was raised by a dad who had two engineering degrees...
...it's always driven my friends crazy that I always ask "why?"
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Kit Sober
I had ants in the yard. Looked up on the internet and found "Spray with wd-40. It suffocates them."
Being married to an electrical engineer, there is handy wd-40 under the sink, in the closet, in the shed, etc.
Tried the wd-40 on the ants, and it appears that wd-40 has once again done its job.
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Kit Sober
And there's also the story of what happened when the Lord gave instructions to current day engineer, Noah, to build the ark:
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topoftheworld
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T-Bone
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