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I usually accede to the fact that few of our crew watched Voyager, and fewer still, Enterprise; but I'll occasionally throw an episode in trom those shows to keep it honest. And, frankly, I thought they were fine. Enterprise didn't really hit its stride, unfortunately, until its final season. :(

George

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Okay. Here are all the Memory-Alpha quotes for the episode (including speakers' names, since we know it's an Enterprise episode). If you don't remember the plot, make one up; you'll probably be close enough! ;)

"You know, I read if they sense a leader's weak they'll try to kill him and take command."

- Trip Tucker, offering advice to Archer on how to deal with their Klingon captive

"Remind me to stop trying to help people."

- Archer, to Tucker, after a futile attempt at negotiation

"I found these schematics in the Vulcan database. It's a Raptor-class scout vessel."

"How long will it last down there?"

"Its hull's at least twice as thick as ours, reinforced with some kind of coherent molecular alloy."

"Yeah, it's a tough little ship, but it can't hold up under that pressure forever."

- Mayweather, Archer, and Tucker, discussing the Klingon vessel

"Ah, the one time we need our chief engineer is the one time we leave him behind."

- Reed, lamenting Tucker's omission from the away team

"I think I might have made a tactical error dealing with the Klingon woman. I asked her for help. She could see that as a sign of weakness."

"You been boning up on your Klingon psychology?"

"We've run into them three times, and every time they've wanted to destroy us. I'd love to figure out why."

"Well, maybe the best thing is just to steer clear of them."

"That might not be so easy, but we could use their help right now. If we could reestablish a com signal with T'Pol and the others, the Klingon woman could probably talk them through the repairs. But she's got a thousand generations of instinct telling her not to trust me."

"Well, maybe it's time you started thinking like a Klingon."

- Archer and Tucker

"It's called gagh. It's a Klingon delicacy, but only when they're alive."

"They look like worms."

"They are worms."

- T'Pol and Sato, searching the galley of the Klingon ship

"Are you all right?"

"I promised myself I wouldn't do this."

"You're in a dangerous situation in an alien environment. Your anxiety is understandable."

"Don't you mean, 'for aHuman' ?"

"You can't deny your nature."

- Sato and T'Pol

"I decided to take your advice about thinking like a Klingon. The Vulcan database has about 900 pages on them."

"Learn anything?"

"Plenty. They're driven by a warrior mentality. They tend to view anyone they meet as a potential enemy."

"That may explain why our guest is so irritable."

- Archer to Tucker

"There was a raid."

"Yes..."

(Archer pauses to wait for Bu'kaH to volunteer more details, then continues...)

"I can understand your not wanting to talk about it if the raid went badly for you."

"The Xarantines are no match for us! We attacked their outpost and took what we wanted."

"And that included some Xarantine ale?"

(She nods, defiantly)

"Did your whole crew drink it?"

"The triumph belonged to all."

"I'll take that as a yes."

- Bu'kaH, Archer, and Phlox discuss the Klingons' activities prior to to falling ill

"This was your plan? To grope around in the darkness and hope to stumble upon my ship?"

"That's how we found it the first time."

- Bu'kaH to Archer

"I kept your seat warm for you."

- Tucker, to Archer, on his return to the bridge

"Prepare to surrender your vessel."

"Maybe your engineer neglected to tell you, but, uh, we just saved you and your crew."

"You violated our ship, accessed our weapons."

"It was either that or stand by and watch you get crushed."

- The Klingon captain and Archer

"You wouldn't last ten seconds in a battle with us. You've got multiple hull breaches, your shields are down, and from what I'm told, you're fresh out of torpedoes. If I were you, I'd take what little honor I had left and go home. Fire one shot, and I'll blast you right back to where we found you."

- Archer to the Klingon captain

"Oh, it certainly feels nice to be clean again."

"It is...pleasant."

- Reed and T'Pol, enjoying their extended stay in decon

"Do you smell that?"

"I don't smell anything."

"Exactly."

- Sato and T'Pol

George

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All right. It was "Sleeping Dogs." First season, Archer and crew find a disabled Klingon ship. Hilarity ensues. The female commander of the ship repays Archer's kindness by trying to take over the Enterprise. He finally acts like a Klingon and gets really bossy. She leaves.

Free post!

George

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"Let us pray...for understanding and for compassion."

"Let us do no such damn thing!"

"Fairness is such a Human concept, think imaginatively! This game shall, in fact, be completely unfair!"

"You've gone too far!"

"Game penalty!"

"We don't have time for these games."

"The rigid Klingon code! 'Drink not with thine enemy!' "

"I'd see the freckles on his nose, if he had them, sir. He's at the third ridge now..."

"The third ridge?"

"Moving well."

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"You know, I never knew how much this man's voice annoyed me."

"I should've listened to my father. He always warned me this was going to happen."

"What, that you'd spend your final hours in jail? I could've told you that."

"I thought your father told you to stay out of there!"

"If you don't tell him, I won't."

George

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1: "You really think we can convert this place into a deuterium refinery?"

2: "Absolutely! It'll take us three, maybe four weeks at most."

3: "I hope you're planning on eating during the next three or four weeks."

"This force field isn't just protecting the door, it goes through the bulkheads, the ceiling, the deck... there's nowhere for me to go."

"You're telling me I'm stuck here? With you?"

"No! I'm stuck here, with you! Believe me, a far worse fate... and stay away from my computer!"

"You know, I never knew how much this man's voice annoyed me."

"I should've listened to my father. He always warned me this was going to happen."

"What, that you'd spend your final hours in jail? I could've told you that."

"I thought your father told you to stay out of there!"

"If you don't tell him, I won't."

George

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Is this the Deep Space 9 episode where the station's security protocols kick in

and think there's been a prison uprising and the Bajorans overran the Cardassians?

Gul Dukat's voice was on the recordings that went off at each stage.

I don't remember- clearly, at least- Quark and Odo trapped in the Constable's office.

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Yes! "Civil Defense." Dukat and Garak, being Cardassians, can roam freely through the station; but the others were all locked down with various, increasingly deadly, security protocols taking place. Eventually, even Dukat screws up, and THIS announcement appears:

Dukat... if you are seeing this recording, it means you tried to abandon your post while the station's self-destruct sequence was engaged. That will not be permitted. You have lost control of Terok Nor, disgracing yourself and Cardassia. Your attempt to escape is no doubt a final act of cowardice. All fail-safes have been eliminated. Your personal access codes have been rescinded. The destruct sequence can no longer be halted. All you can do now is contemplate the depth of your disgrace... and try to die like a Cardassian.

Sisko implements a strategy devised by O'Brien to circumvent the protocols, and everyone lives happily until the next episode. :)

George

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"Is it my imagination, or did the kid just cover for him?"

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice?"

"You two can argue about this on your own time."

"Very important research.

What? I'm not laughing.

I'm not."

"Surrender or you will all be killed."

"I feel privileged to be here with you at such a moment."

"There is still much to do before we declare victory. Until we leave Federation space, we are vulnerable to"

"I am the First. And I have declared victory."

"That is, of course, your prerogative."

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"Is it my imagination, or did the kid just cover for him?"

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice?"

"You two can argue about this on your own time."

"Very important research.

What? I'm not laughing.

I'm not."

"Surrender or you will all be killed."

"I feel privileged to be here with you at such a moment."

"There is still much to do before we declare victory. Until we leave Federation space, we are vulnerable to"

"I am the First. And I have declared victory."

"That is, of course, your prerogative."

"I wish I could be there with you, old man."

"I'll send you a postcard. Tell Worf I look forward to hearing his poem."

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"Is it my imagination, or did the kid just cover for him?"

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice?"

"You two can argue about this on your own time."

"Very important research.

What? I'm not laughing.

I'm not."

"Surrender or you will all be killed."

"I feel privileged to be here with you at such a moment."

"There is still much to do before we declare victory. Until we leave Federation space, we are vulnerable to"

"I am the First. And I have declared victory."

"That is, of course, your prerogative."

"I wish I could be there with you, old man."

"I'll send you a postcard. Tell Worf I look forward to hearing his poem."

"I serve the Founders. If it is their will to create a new race, that is the order of things."

"But... ?"

"But the Jem'Hadar bred here in the Alpha Quadrant have not proven themselves superior to those from the Gamma Quadrant. At least... not yet."

"Restoring warp power may not be so simple for them. It took us a week just to learn how to pilot one of their ships."

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Well, obviously DS9 (even before the Founders, Jem Hadar stuff).

Right.

Jem Hadar bred in the Alpha Quadrant is obviously key.

Right. It is key.

Is it the episode where the DS9 crew discovers the Jem Hadar addiction to the white crystals?

George

Wrong.

But don't be sad, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. :)

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"Is it my imagination, or did the kid just cover for him?"

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice?"

"You two can argue about this on your own time."

"Very important research.

What? I'm not laughing.

I'm not."

"Surrender or you will all be killed."

"I feel privileged to be here with you at such a moment."

"There is still much to do before we declare victory. Until we leave Federation space, we are vulnerable to"

"I am the First. And I have declared victory."

"That is, of course, your prerogative."

"I wish I could be there with you, old man."

"I'll send you a postcard. Tell Worf I look forward to hearing his poem."

"I serve the Founders. If it is their will to create a new race, that is the order of things."

"But... ?"

"But the Jem'Hadar bred here in the Alpha Quadrant have not proven themselves superior to those from the Gamma Quadrant. At least... not yet."

"Restoring warp power may not be so simple for them. It took us a week just to learn how to pilot one of their ships."

"I am First Kudak'Etan. In a strange way, you are the reason I exist. If you had not eliminated our fleet in the wormhole, there would have been no need to breed Alpha Quadrant Jem'Hadar."

"I know what he's thinking because it's exactly what I would be doing in his position. You should kill him now, before he has a chance to put his plan into motion."

"You are the Second. I am the First. Do not presume to tell me what to do."

"Okay. I'm in no hurry to reach a Dominion prison camp. You want me to teach your men how to repair the warp drive, that's fine with me. We'll begin with the primary command and control systems -- that should take about six hours. Then we'll work our way up to basic engineering theory for a class seven warp drive, then --"

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"Is it my imagination, or did the kid just cover for him?"

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Do I detect a note of jealousy in your voice?"

"You two can argue about this on your own time."

"Very important research.

What? I'm not laughing.

I'm not."

"Surrender or you will all be killed."

"I feel privileged to be here with you at such a moment."

"There is still much to do before we declare victory. Until we leave Federation space, we are vulnerable to"

"I am the First. And I have declared victory."

"That is, of course, your prerogative."

"I wish I could be there with you, old man."

"I'll send you a postcard. Tell Worf I look forward to hearing his poem."

"I serve the Founders. If it is their will to create a new race, that is the order of things."

"But... ?"

"But the Jem'Hadar bred here in the Alpha Quadrant have not proven themselves superior to those from the Gamma Quadrant. At least... not yet."

"Restoring warp power may not be so simple for them. It took us a week just to learn how to pilot one of their ships."

"I am First Kudak'Etan. In a strange way, you are the reason I exist. If you had not eliminated our fleet in the wormhole, there would have been no need to breed Alpha Quadrant Jem'Hadar."

"I know what he's thinking because it's exactly what I would be doing in his position. You should kill him now, before he has a chance to put his plan into motion."

"You are the Second. I am the First. Do not presume to tell me what to do."

"Okay. I'm in no hurry to reach a Dominion prison camp. You want me to teach your men how to repair the warp drive, that's fine with me. We'll begin with the primary command and control systems -- that should take about six hours. Then we'll work our way up to basic engineering theory for a class seven warp drive, then --"

""And they say you don't have a sense of humor."

"Mr. Worf, I think your wife is here."

"The magnetic plasma guides are heating up."

"They must've initiated the impulse prestart sequence."

"What does that mean?"

"It means this entire conduit is about to be filled with superheated plasma."

"When you say superheated..."

"If I can't find another way out of here, we'll be vaporized. Is that clear?"

"Crystal."

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