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  • 2 weeks later...

And several days later here I am.

Speaking of horses did you ever see those Lipizzaner stallions.
What?
 From Portugal. The Lipizzaner stallions. The most highly trained horses in the world. They're all white?
 Yes, sir.
"Yes, sir" you're aware they're all white or "Yes, sir" you've seen them?
Yes, sir I've seen them. Yes, sir I was aware that they're are all white. They are not from Portugal; they're from Spain and at birth, they're not white; they're black. Sir.
I didn't know that. But they are from Portugal. [Chuckling] Some of the things they do, uh, defy belief. Their training program is simplicity itself. You just stick a cattle prod up their foot and you can get a horse to deal cards. [Chuckles] Simple matter of voltage.

Thanks for your patience.

Edited by Human without the bean
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On 3/7/2020 at 5:38 AM, GeorgeStGeorge said:

I see that the cuss blocker is still working.  "Foot," my eye!  :mooner:

George

Indeed, that's wasn't the part of the anatomy in the original quote.  Here's some more.

On 3/7/2020 at 2:23 AM, Human without the bean said:

Speaking of horses did you ever see those Lipizzaner stallions.
What?
 From Portugal. The Lipizzaner stallions. The most highly trained horses in the world. They're all white?
 Yes, sir.
"Yes, sir" you're aware they're all white or "Yes, sir" you've seen them?
Yes, sir I've seen them. Yes, sir I was aware that they're are all white. They are not from Portugal; they're from Spain and at birth, they're not white; they're black. Sir.
I didn't know that. But they are from Portugal. [Chuckling] Some of the things they do, uh, defy belief. Their training program is simplicity itself. You just stick a cattle prod up their tush and you can get a horse to deal cards. [Chuckles] Simple matter of voltage.

Yeah, horses're fascinating animals. Dumb as fence-posts but very intuitive. In that way they're not too different from high school girls: they may not have a brain in their head but they do know all the boys want to &uck 'em.

 

How do you like that cigar?
It's good, sir.
It's your first?
Yeah.
Well, don't like it too much. They're more expensive than drugs.

 

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On 3/8/2020 at 2:50 PM, Human without the bean said:

Indeed, that's wasn't the part of the anatomy in the original quote.  Here's some more.

Yeah, horses're fascinating animals. Dumb as fence-posts but very intuitive. In that way they're not too different from high school girls: they may not have a brain in their head but they do know all the boys want to &uck 'em.

 

How do you like that cigar?
It's good, sir.
It's your first?
Yeah.
Well, don't like it too much. They're more expensive than drugs.

 

Rivetti, what's up?

I'm sorry, Sir. It's just a difference of opinion that got out of hand.
What about?
It's really too silly to talk about, Sir. I'd really just forget about...

I don't give a damn about what you'd rather forget about. Why were you two fighting?
I said, the Kirby Silver Surfer was the only real Silver Surfer. And that the Moebius Silver Surfer was s*it. And Bennefield's a big Moebius fan. And it got of hand. I pushed him. He pushed me. I lost my head, Sir. I'm Sorry.
Rivetti, you're a supervisor. You can get a commission like that. 
 [Snaps finger]
I know, Sir. You're 100 percent right. It will never happen again.
It better not happen again. If I see this kind of nonsense again, I'm going to write you up. You understand? 
[No answer] Do you understand?
Yes, Sir.
You have to set an example even in the face of stupidity. Everybody who reads comic books knows that the Kirby Silver Surfer is the only true Silver Surfer. Now am I right or wrong?
You're right, Sir.
Now get out of here.
Yes, Sir.

 

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[asking about the radio repair] How long's it gonna take?

I don't know, sir.

You know what's going on here?

Yes sir.

No I don't think you do. Let me explain it to you. If we launch, and we're wrong, what's left of Russia is gonna launch at us. There will be a nuclear holocaust beyond imagination, now it's all about knowing, Mr...Vossler. We have to know whether our order to launch has been recalled or not. The only way we're gonna know, is if you fix that radio, you understand?

You ever watch Star Trek?

St- yeah, Star...

Star Trek! The USS Enterprise? All right, now you remember when the Klingons were gonna blow up the Enterprise and Captain Kirk calls down to Scotty he says "Scotty, I gotta have more power-"

He needs more, more warp speed, yeah.

Warp speed, exactly. Now I'm Captain Kirk, you're Scotty, I need more power. I'm telling you if you do not get this radio up, a billion people are gonna die; now it's all up to you, I know it's a shippy deal but you got it, can you handle it?

Pauses [silent]

Scotty?

Aye, Captain.

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Time's up boys.

Next flick:

Negative, I am a meat-popsicle!

You got a message.
Yeah
You're not gonna open it? It might be important.
Yeah, like the last two I got were important. The first one was from my wife, telling me she was leaving. The second was from my lawyer, telling me he was leaving... with my wife.
Ah, that's bad luck. Grandfather say it not rain everyday. This is good news, guaranteed. I bet your lunch.
Okay, you're on.
Come on...[Reads] You are fired. Oh.
Well, at least I won lunch.
Good philosophy, see good in bad, I like.

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On 3/11/2020 at 1:28 AM, Human without the bean said:

[asking about the radio repair] How long's it gonna take?

I don't know, sir.

You know what's going on here?

Yes sir.

No I don't think you do. Let me explain it to you. If we launch, and we're wrong, what's left of Russia is gonna launch at us. There will be a nuclear holocaust beyond imagination, now it's all about knowing, Mr...Vossler. We have to know whether our order to launch has been recalled or not. The only way we're gonna know, is if you fix that radio, you understand?

You ever watch Star Trek?

St- yeah, Star...

Star Trek! The USS Enterprise? All right, now you remember when the Klingons were gonna blow up the Enterprise and Captain Kirk calls down to Scotty he says "Scotty, I gotta have more power-"

He needs more, more warp speed, yeah.

Warp speed, exactly. Now I'm Captain Kirk, you're Scotty, I need more power. I'm telling you if you do not get this radio up, a billion people are gonna die; now it's all up to you, I know it's a shippy deal but you got it, can you handle it?

Pauses [silent]

Scotty?

Aye, Captain.

Sorry George apparently WW and Raf are out for this round and I didn't mean to leave the flick so abruptly.  Let's let the movie reveal itself and then I'll go back to other "popsicle" one.  OK.

Mr. COB!
Yes, sir?
You're aware of the name of this ship, aren't you Mr. COB?
Very aware, sir!
It bears a proud name, doesn't it, Mr. COB?
Very proud, sir!
It represents fine people.
Very fine people, sir!
Who live in a fine, outstanding state.
Outstanding, sir!
In the greatest country in the entire world.
In the entire world, sir!
And what is that name, Mr. COB?
Alabama, sir!
And what do we say?
Go Bama!
Roll Tide!

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Sorry for not getting back sooner.  Yes, George, of course that's it.  Crimson Tide

Now the Popsicle movie was a blockbuster and a very popular movie.

"Are you classified as human"?
"Negative, I am a meat popsicle".

You got a message.
Yeah
You're not gonna open it? It might be important.
Yeah, like the last two I got were important. The first one was from my wife, telling me she was leaving. The second was from my lawyer, telling me he was leaving... with my wife.
Ah, that's bad luck. Grandfather say it not rain everyday. This is good news, guaranteed. I bet your lunch.
Okay, you're on.
Come on...[Reads] You are fired. Oh.
Well, at least I won lunch.

Good philosophy, see good in bad, I like.

 

[After learning about the mission] Any questions?

Yeah. Just one. Why me? I retired six months ago. You remember?

Three reasons. One - as a member of the elite special forces unit of the Federated Army, you are expert in the use of all major weapons & space craft needed for this mission. Two - of all the members of your unit, you were the most highly decorated.

...and the third one?

Of all the members of your unit, you're the only one left alive.

 

 

[phone call from President] Major Dallas, I first would like to salute a warrior, you are a shining example of this Army's might, in the name of the Federation and it's territory...

Mr. President, Mr. President, any idea when you gonna be getting to the point?

O.K. There's a ball of fire, it's 1200 miles in diameter headin straight for Earth, and we have no idea how to stop it. *That's* the problem.

How long do we have?

If its speed remains constant, in an hour and fifty-seven minutes.

I'll call you back in two hours.

 

 

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On 3/15/2020 at 12:37 AM, Human without the bean said:

Sorry for not getting back sooner.  Yes, George, of course that's it.  Crimson Tide

Now the Popsicle movie was a blockbuster and a very popular movie.

"Are you classified as human"?
"Negative, I am a meat popsicle".

You got a message.
Yeah
You're not gonna open it? It might be important.
Yeah, like the last two I got were important. The first one was from my wife, telling me she was leaving. The second was from my lawyer, telling me he was leaving... with my wife.
Ah, that's bad luck. Grandfather say it not rain everyday. This is good news, guaranteed. I bet your lunch.
Okay, you're on.
Come on...[Reads] You are fired. Oh.
Well, at least I won lunch.

Good philosophy, see good in bad, I like.

 

[After learning about the mission] Any questions?

Yeah. Just one. Why me? I retired six months ago. You remember?

Three reasons. One - as a member of the elite special forces unit of the Federated Army, you are expert in the use of all major weapons & space craft needed for this mission. Two - of all the members of your unit, you were the most highly decorated.

...and the third one?

Of all the members of your unit, you're the only one left alive.

 

 

[phone call from President] Major Dallas, I first would like to salute a warrior, you are a shining example of this Army's might, in the name of the Federation and it's territory...

Mr. President, Mr. President, any idea when you gonna be getting to the point?

O.K. There's a ball of fire, it's 1200 miles in diameter headin straight for Earth, and we have no idea how to stop it. *That's* the problem.

How long do we have?

If its speed remains constant, in an hour and fifty-seven minutes.

I'll call you back in two hours.

 

Quote

Leeloo how do we open the stones?

Wind blows...Fire burns...Water falls...

 

Edited by Human without the bean
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"Now - everybody throw down your guns or I scrape off all her make up!.....This might take a really long time."

 

"Look, it's been swell, but the swelling's gone down."

 

"Listen up, cause I'm only telling you this once. I'm not bedtime story lady, so pay attention. It's 2033. The world is *screwed* now. You see, a while ago this humongous comet came crashing into the earth. Bam, total devastation. End of the world as we know it. No celebrities, no cable TV, no water. It hasn't rained in 11 years. Now 20 people gotta squeeze inside the same bathtub - so it ain't all bad."

 

"All the king's horses and all the king's men... wish they had the technology I have."

 

"I have two words for you. Brush your teeth! "

 

"What the hell is that?" " Sounds like Cole Porter, sir."   "End it!"  "Sir!"

 
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"Now - everybody throw down your guns or I scrape off all her make up!.....This might take a really long time."

 

"Look, it's been swell, but the swelling's gone down."

 

"Listen up, cause I'm only telling you this once. I'm not bedtime story lady, so pay attention. It's 2033. The world is *screwed* now. You see, a while ago this humongous comet came crashing into the earth. Bam, total devastation. End of the world as we know it. No celebrities, no cable TV, no water. It hasn't rained in 11 years. Now 20 people gotta squeeze inside the same bathtub - so it ain't all bad."

 

"All the king's horses and all the king's men... wish they had the technology I have."

 

"I have two words for you. Brush your teeth! "

 

"What the hell is that?" " Sounds like Cole Porter, sir."   "End it!"  "Sir!"

 

]"You gotta think about it like the first time you got laid. You just gotta say: "Daddy, are you sure this is right?"  " You're sick."   " How come you always do that? How come you always cover your mouth when you smile? You got bad teeth or somethin'?"

" Eight, eight, the burning hate. Between Sunday and Monday there lies a day so dark it will devastate. "     " Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry sh* continues, shoot me now, please."

 

 

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