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Believer Marriages That Lasted


TOMMYZ
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After reading the "Inbreeding" thread I though I'd start this side thread. I'm curious to hear about those that met and married in TWI and are still together. My wife and I met at a NJ limb meeting in Jan. of '76 and kept bumping into each other after the meeting. One thing led to another and in June of '77 we got married. We were both very young. She was just shy of 19 and I had turned 20. We had that youthful enthusiasm that God would provide and He did. I think one thing that helped was that we were both basically loners so peer pressure didn't get to us and we were both rebellious against any attempts at control. The fact that we were both New Yorkers may have helped too!

Being so young we had a lot of growing up to do and at times things were rough. I think having the attitude that "divorce is wrong" kept us together. I am one of seven kids in my family and the only one on his original marriage. My siblings are all on their second and third marriages. At times I think we stuck together to prove it could be done. We've had good times and bad but we're now happily together. I think the loudest I ever heard God's voice was when He once said to me "You are NOT getting a divorce"!

I recognize that at times divorce is necessary but I'm curious to hear from those that made it work and are happy together.

My wife and I are in our church chorus and she had to stay home one time last month because of a knee injury. I kept looking over to where she usually stood and it felt so odd her not being there. I realized how much I like having her around and how I'd miss her if she wasn't. This June is our 30th anniversary.

So are there any other couples who met in TWI and are still together? My wife and I were part of the mass exodus in '89 that missed the worst of the Martindale years and I wonder if his policies were more responsible for broken marriages than VPW's.

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MsHAP and I met as WOWs in 74-75. I withdrew my Sick Corps application (I even have a letter from VP approving my withdrawal)and we married a couple of months after completing the year. So that makes us over 31 years of marriage, and 32 years of living together. (We were in the same WOW family).

Tommy, congrats to you and the lovely MsZ!

~HAP

edit: Point of Information- since we stopped doing TWI stuff back in 1985 or 86, we have been married greasespots twice as long as we ever were as the holy elite, so I would not presume that TWI had anything to do with the duration of our marriage.

Edited by HAPe4me
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My wife and I recently attended a couple's advance in Nashville. Over 40 couples for the weekend. Our 18 years was in the lower percentile. Most couples were 20 plus years and one couple was 37 yrs. Not a lot about sex, mostly what does the word say.

I think there are 3 basic reasons why people get married: sex, kids, and companionship. Being in love fluctuates. I still love my wife, but the euphoric types of feelings of falling in love don't feel the same as when we were courting and first married. Sex and kids fluctuate as well. The sex needs of a 20 yr old are different than of a 50 yr old. Same with being parents of an infant compared to being parents of a teen.

But the companionship NEVER has to fluctuate. One thing that led to getting married was that I just like being around my wife even if we weren't talking or doing any activity. I just felt right in her presence. Same today.

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That is an excellent point about partnership John. That is what has kept us together as well. In our case, raising our children together is a partnership that has always been of the utmost importance to both of us. As you said, personal feelings may fluctuate, but the companionship/partnership is forever.

That was well said.

Nashville eh? I live close, too bad you didn`t give a shout, we could have had lunch together....lol

Edited by rascal
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I would phrase the question "why do they stay married".

The organization.. peer pressure.. viewing divorce as a failure, and I can't argue that it isn't..

The kids.

Sometimes people "grow up" and find that they really do like their spouse.. others don't.

The kids grow older, move off on their own (hopefully) :)

Thirty years later, the spouse is often not the same person you think you married.

"You're not the man I married.."

No joke.. been twenty, thirty years.. people do tend to change.

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ILB and I have been married 22 years (9/15/84). We've experienced the highs and lows all couples do in their relationships.

We met in TWI. We are VERY happily married since leaving TWI (she in 10/05 and me in 03/06). For the previous three to four

years we stayed together because of our children and $ (or the lack thereof a divorce would have caused). No doubt had

I not left TWI after she did (or had we stayed in), we would be separated if not offically divorced tdoay (through a psychologist

we learned kids and $ adjust after a divorce).

The organization puts itself ahead of marriage, children, other family, and any other person or thing in the guise of "doing

the Word". I'm thankful for quite a few things I learned in TWI and I would never have met my wife without it. However,

the organization (I'm not referring to the many good hearted followers who haven't seen the light yet) has been a blight

on Christianity the last 10-15 years. (Some of you would say since its inception, that's a different thread).

From my point of view, marriages that stay together in TWI are because of (1) genuine love and commitment between the

spouses or (2) the kids, money, and such issues, or (3) to look good in the eyes of the followers and leaders of the group.

I respect folks in the first group, understand the motivation of the second group, and pity or loathe the folks in the third group.

Hats off to all you long term couples. Sympathy to you who are no longer married and are heart-broken. Cheers to the rest of you.

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Congrautlations to all you lovely longstanding marrieds.

Glad you made it through everything that's come at you during your many years together.

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Hey, I really got to know my husband to be, as a friend for years, we went to school together even though he is 4 years older.

He first asked me in 1978, as a friend, to marry him. I said no and chose to go wow, I liked where I was sent and stayed another year. I had hopes for a change in my life there but as time went on I knew I had to move on.

So I moved back home and got in touch with him. He decided to move to Ca. and so we parted ways. We saw each other each year, for a couple of weeks and away we would go. He went wow and I moved to Ca. We kept in contact with each other and would frequently ask each other if we found anyone to settle down with. No was always the answer. Til one year I asked him, and he said Yes.

So in 83 we married and have been ever since. Divorce is not an option for us. We married as best friends, nothing between us until the wedding night. And have remained so. He is a great companion. Yes we have experienced alot of major ups and downs, but are willing to see it thru.

Kudos to you all who are still together!

:dance::drink::knuddel::cryhug_1_::jump: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Nineteen years celebrated in December. We met in 1985 and married 1987, two believers in TWI. Immediate leadership was against it, but then I didn't include them in our plans and I moved out of state away from them and married my husband. Ha.

We still love one another. But we married each other for each other and not because of TWI. We left TWI together as well. Hubby told me he was waiting for me to wake up all along and when I said, "I'm outta there," he said, "Halluejah."

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We met and married while involved with twi. We have been together for 24 years now. It's hard to comprehend how we made it through all those years in twi and stayed together. We have a unigue relationship, my wife is almost ten years older than I.

We have a lot in common. We love to travel and we love music.

I'm thankful for her, and I believe God brought us together.

It's hard enough to raise children especially with leadership judging you and your children all the time.

Thank God we left. Our marriage has been much better since then.

Perhaps some didn't make it. Don't blame yourself, I don't believe anyone can say it is wrong to divorce. Sometimes people make mistakes. My list is very long.

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I met my Beloved at Emporia, our last year in-rez. We met New Year's Eve, I mean like talked for the first time. He asked me to marry him on Valentine's Day, I accepted a couple days later. (Had to think about it, and not seeem too eager.) Then we got married in the Corps Wedding in July.

This year is our 25th Anniversary, and my best friend (at the time) who was our Best Lady will be here this summer visiting from England, just in time for our Big Party. (She is British, and I haven't seen her since 1984.)

I honestly can't say that all our years have been filled with wedded bliss, seeing as how we were in a cult and all, but if I had it to do over, I wouldn't do it any differently. :B)

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I cherish my life with him. :wub:

Edited by ex10
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Met my wife at the Raleigh way home in 1975. We were married by Randy Anderson in july of 1977. will be 30 years this july. One thing seems to be in common with all of these marriages that have lasted and that was we were all 'friends' first. My wife is still my best friend and soul mate. I wouldn't want to have done it without her. We both left the ministry at the same time/place. And we never looked back.

Dave

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Congratulations to all who have marriages that have lasted through the years. You have my utmost respect and admiration.

Mine first one was trashed by TWI's false doctrines and lies. 12 years later, I found this sweet country lady. (who I knew as a very good friend for 6 years

before we both realized we were nuts for each other). A friend made the casual suggestion that we go on a date "for the he!! of it", we did, and found out

how we truly felt about each other. Dated for 3 months longer, and got married on Valentines Day. She's my dearest friend, confidant, lover and partner

in all things. I couldn't have asked for a better spouse. Yeah, true friendship really makes a good foundation for a marriage. :love3:

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I know a couple who met in twi, in 1984 in-rez. Married in 1985. Absolutely suited to each other. Still happily together. (But then, they left the Way around 1986-87 which I'm sure didn't hurt!)

As is being pointed out in all these instances, these marriages were about the PEOPLE, the married couple, first and foremost. In the case of the marriages that broke up, it was always about TWI-first, marriage second. And that's why they failed.

So, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! And a hearty well done! To all you who have figured out how to make it work through good times and bad. My hat is off to you. I sincerely hope you are an example and inspiration to those around you.

:eusa_clap::eusa_clap::eusa_clap::eusa_clap::eusa_clap:

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Love all the heartfelt, heart warming stories. They are like fairyland to me tho. Sorry I'm the "downer" here. I married because I was basically "told" to. Have been married almost 24 years now and none have been pleasant that I can recall. I bet there are others "out there" that don't have the "fairy land tale" also.

I was around when the 4th Corps did their "marriage circle" and only one or two are still together that I know of.

I left my husband for 5 years (the man VP told me to marry). We went back together after 5 years because of "promises"...and now 7 years later...tis the same. Iknow there are happy marriages from TWI..but there are also reget marriages.

People will probably post the happy ones...so I'm the odd ball.

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