Good to see you posting again Soggie! Hope this means you're getting settled in and things are going well. You are still in my prayers. I've missed you.
I am sure not telling you anything that you don't already know. I guess that I am just venting a little. I too am sorry that you were hurt (((((((((((Sogwop)))))))))! A true friend would never hurt you! It simple defies the definition of a friend. It is really not that difficult to be a friend. It takes a little selflessness, genuine concern, love, effort and time. It constantly amazes me the hypocracisies that surround us all in this life. Man's inhumanity to man. If people only like you when you meet their standards and requirements; it isn't a friendship. It is an acquaintanceship. A temporarily arranged relationship based on conditions. Friendships have become so conditionally based and one-sided. The are more and more temporary. Why can't we be happy doing the least amount of harm and the most amount of good?
On one hand we distain those who hurt us; and on the otherhand we hurt back in kind or worse! Does this mean we divide our loyalties or ourselves? Do we now compartmentalize people into groups we judge as to who is worthy and who is not worthy of love and compassion. Is it that scarse? Why can't we treat others the way we say we want to me treated?
i have hurt my friends in the past and they have hurt me
when i hurt them it wasn't a mean thing it was just to try to help them and at times the truth hurts.and we are still friends and i am talkin 50 plus tears.
i have hurt my friends in the past and they have hurt me
when i hurt them it wasn't a mean thing it was just to try to help them and at times the truth hurts.and we are still friends and i am talkin 50 plus tears.
Dear Coolchef,
I do see what you are saying...thank You!
I don't consider telling a friend or a pal the truth or something that they don't readily accept a hurtful situation. A true friend help his friend get thro the thick or thin spots in life.
I do see that really true friends are few and often far between. Another thing that I see is that maybe some of our pals could be our friends too with a little more effort on both sides. The impact we make on eachothers lives whether friends or pals doesn't have to hurt or be disguised as something else.
True friends ABSOLUTELY will hurt each other! When two people are so close they are both the splinter and the salve.
Friendship has a "soul-bearing" factor to it. Without that vulnerability its really just an acquaintance. With that - well the other person has ammunition. It's how the balance is met that makes the difference.
No matter what - maintaining boundaries is important. Being a friend doesn't make a person the answer all the time. I find that for me to care for my friend I DON'T tell them everything sometimes.....why burden a person with all of your woes when he or she has their own? Friendship isn't an automatic door into another's life, nor is it a guarantee that they will be able to always enter your life. Like any relationship - friendship has it's limits.
RG- I agree with you that we should try to treat others as we would want to be treated. That means you have to have genuine concern for others. I've seen that in you and others here too. That's why I enjoy it here, there are genuine godly folks here.
I also see what others have said about sometimes the truth hurts but your motive is always to help and I think that's the point of the thread. A friend is there for you.
So many people today are so wrapped up in their own lives they don't take time for others . Too bad because they miss out.
(there was a good thread in "about the way" on true friends you may also want to check out).
Being a friend doesn't make a person the answer all the time. I find that for me to care for my friend I DON'T tell them everything sometimes.....why burden a person with all of your woes when he or she has their own? Friendship isn't an automatic door into another's life, nor is it a guarantee that they will be able to always enter your life. Like any relationship - friendship has it's limits.
i see your point, dear dooj
but i've been lucky enough to know something far different
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excathedra
i'm sorry that happened to you, soggie
i agree with what you said about true friends
and they are few and far between
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Suda
Good to see you posting again Soggie! Hope this means you're getting settled in and things are going well. You are still in my prayers. I've missed you.
Suda
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sogwap51
Yes...they are. To me a friend is a friend is a friend. Despite ups and downs.
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sogwap51
Suda...i got settled in....many things have happened. I'm finding who my friends are and arent.
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excathedra
well you know you have no friends when it comes to the word
;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
love, ex
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sogwap51
yea...no friends period
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excathedra
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RainbowsGirl
Dear Sogwap,
I am sure not telling you anything that you don't already know. I guess that I am just venting a little. I too am sorry that you were hurt (((((((((((Sogwop)))))))))! A true friend would never hurt you! It simple defies the definition of a friend. It is really not that difficult to be a friend. It takes a little selflessness, genuine concern, love, effort and time. It constantly amazes me the hypocracisies that surround us all in this life. Man's inhumanity to man. If people only like you when you meet their standards and requirements; it isn't a friendship. It is an acquaintanceship. A temporarily arranged relationship based on conditions. Friendships have become so conditionally based and one-sided. The are more and more temporary. Why can't we be happy doing the least amount of harm and the most amount of good?
On one hand we distain those who hurt us; and on the otherhand we hurt back in kind or worse! Does this mean we divide our loyalties or ourselves? Do we now compartmentalize people into groups we judge as to who is worthy and who is not worthy of love and compassion. Is it that scarse? Why can't we treat others the way we say we want to me treated?
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coolchef
rainbowsgirl
i beg to differ with you
i have 4 friends and hundres of pals.
i have hurt my friends in the past and they have hurt me
when i hurt them it wasn't a mean thing it was just to try to help them and at times the truth hurts.and we are still friends and i am talkin 50 plus tears.
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RainbowsGirl
Dear Coolchef,
I do see what you are saying...thank You!
I don't consider telling a friend or a pal the truth or something that they don't readily accept a hurtful situation. A true friend help his friend get thro the thick or thin spots in life.
I do see that really true friends are few and often far between. Another thing that I see is that maybe some of our pals could be our friends too with a little more effort on both sides. The impact we make on eachothers lives whether friends or pals doesn't have to hurt or be disguised as something else.
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doojable
True friends ABSOLUTELY will hurt each other! When two people are so close they are both the splinter and the salve.
Friendship has a "soul-bearing" factor to it. Without that vulnerability its really just an acquaintance. With that - well the other person has ammunition. It's how the balance is met that makes the difference.
No matter what - maintaining boundaries is important. Being a friend doesn't make a person the answer all the time. I find that for me to care for my friend I DON'T tell them everything sometimes.....why burden a person with all of your woes when he or she has their own? Friendship isn't an automatic door into another's life, nor is it a guarantee that they will be able to always enter your life. Like any relationship - friendship has it's limits.
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polar bear
RG- I agree with you that we should try to treat others as we would want to be treated. That means you have to have genuine concern for others. I've seen that in you and others here too. That's why I enjoy it here, there are genuine godly folks here.
I also see what others have said about sometimes the truth hurts but your motive is always to help and I think that's the point of the thread. A friend is there for you.
So many people today are so wrapped up in their own lives they don't take time for others . Too bad because they miss out.
(there was a good thread in "about the way" on true friends you may also want to check out).
PB
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excathedra
i see your point, dear dooj
but i've been lucky enough to know something far different
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