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Another groaner.


JeffSjo
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Old Chionese proverb:

Egg Foo yung left out overnight is egg foo old.

LOL. A very dear friend of mine works at a Chinese/American restaurant. I'll have to stop by for lunch, order egg foo young and tell her this. She loves groaners, even writes them down so she doesn't forget to tell them to the kids. Thanks Ham!

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WAIT if you have kids around the below is rated M - OK go ahead and read

The Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather

dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early

fifties.

'May I help you sir?' she asked.

'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.

'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would

prefer someone else', said the madam.

'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a

visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it

to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see

Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as

she was too expensive.

But there were no discounts.

The price was still $5000.

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went

upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded

that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and

they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, 'No one has ever been with

me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'

The man replied, ' Ontario .'

'Really', she said. 'I have family in Ontario .'

'I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She

asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer

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  • 2 weeks later...

LOL. A very dear friend of mine works at a Chinese/American restaurant. I'll have to stop by for lunch, order egg foo young and tell her this. She loves groaners, even writes them down so she doesn't forget to tell them to the kids. Thanks Ham!

Does this mean that Neil Young muct change his name???

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OH!!! :doh: Bar TENDER. Sheesh. :biglaugh:

Gee, It's scary to think some of these need explanation. It reminds me of a VW Beetle with a Big "S" on it's side drove by some old timers in West Virginia sitting on the porch of a general store. Cops drove up a minute later and asked,"Which way did that S-car-go?"

I had a girl friend in high school with crossed-eyes.

Her eyes were so crossed, when she cried, tears rolled down her back...

The doctor said she had a bad case of "Back-tearia".

I'll leave to another part of the forum now.

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If Isaac Newton was really so intelligent why did he sit under the apple tree in the first place, only to get struck by the apple?

Or was it really the apple hitting him on the head that gave him the smarts?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Uh oh - today is Friday the 13th! I'm not worried though - I'm carrying my lucky rabbit's foot. But I've been giving that some more thought lately - this foot came from a rabbit that wasn't so lucky - or why else would I have his foot. Maybe I should switch to a lucky astrology mood watch.Wonder if they're as accurate as an atomic clock.

Edited by T-Bone
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  • 1 month later...

the scene: a cheap diner

guy:

just gimme da chicken soup.

waitress:

[shouting back toward the kitchen] gimme a chicken soup!

guy:

uhm.. .wait a sec.. .hadn't had dis in awhile.. .make it pea soup instead.

waitress:

[shouting back toward the kitchen] hold that chicken and make it pea!

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(AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a King County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Seattle Seahawks football team, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone.

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