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The Young and the Restless-limb coord inspired by soap opera character


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Years ago, the limb coord couple I was under were quite a pair. K** the wife was prone to unbelievable arrogance and temper tantrums. She was often vicious with her words. She demanded that the believers drop everything to clean her house or baby sit. She once called me at work and told me I would need to drop some of my shifts because she needed more help as they were running a class. She told me God would meet my financial needs if I was really believing.

J** the husband wasn't as vicious with his words, but he was a whiny arrogant baby. J** and K** often argued in front of people. He was also prone to temper tantrums. He loved sharing this dumb story about how his mother once had hurt his feelings, so he ran away to go live in a homeless shelter. He was witnessed to at the homeless shelter by a WOW or something so it changed his life and went home to live with his Mom. That of course led him to be the great limb coord he thought he was.

They were both full time paid staff, yet could not keep their own home clean or take care of their yard without demanding the believers do it for them. Not to mention all the free baby sitting they got.

But here is the really weird thing. They watched a lot of TV. They were always talking about Friends, Law and Order and the X files to name a few. But their favorite was the Young and the Restless. They had a special date every week day with each other to watch it together. Little J** would come out of his "office" in the home where he was diligently studying the word to be with his wife so they could watch together.

He would say how doing this really made his wife K** appreciate him more and how it brought them closer together, making their marriage better. He would talk about one character in particular, Ryan McNeil. He would tell us how he learned how to be a man from watching this character.

When the Corpse was told they had to go back to work, J** was completely terrified as he had never known how to make a living. He had left his Mother's house and went right into the Way Corpse. He did some menial jobs for a while, but was constantly filled with fear that he would not be able to make the bills. His wife K** refused to work because she said she was a mother with responsibilities. (Her only work experience had been waitressing and nobody that worked with her liked her.) She still had the believers baby sit, clean house, do yard work and all of her bidding for free.

Eventually they were promoted and were back on full time paid staff much to the releif of J**. He could go back to not having to support his family but telling other hard working honest believers how they should support theirs.

This is the weirdest couple I have ever known. Although I do have some sympathy for J**. He once shared at a marriage class how he had spontaneously proposed to K** without thinking about it. Then afterwards when he realized how tyranical she was, he broke off the engagement saying he knew he could never be truly happy with a b**** like that. But when Loy heard about it, he told J** that they might as well both leave HQ if they couldn't keep a commitment. With J**'s deep fear of supporting himself and his deep devotion to Loy, he went ahead and married K** even though he did not love her. He actually used this as an example in this marriage class about how you can so renew your mind to the word, you can be married to anyone no matter what their personality is. I do not respect K**, but how sad for her that her husband feels that way.

And how sad for J** that he has stayed married to someone he does not love but "renews his mind to". A while back I heard him teach on a Sunday night teaching. He told the same worn out story about how he used to be in this band, his one moment of glory. I felt so sorry for him. A guy raised by a single mom, in the way corpse as a young person, married to a shrew, and fantisizing about a band that he used to be in as a teenager. (He once played us the music from his band, they were not good, they would not have made it but I think he thinks they would have).

So, I do think they are weird and I pity their children.

Who is the weirdest person or couple you have ever known? Do you feel sorry for them or do you just think they are jerks?

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I think maybe the inmates got even flakier after "the Fog years", but,

I remember a particular "leader" in WayWorld who was (maybe still is?) a freaking PATHOLOGICAL liar.

He would concoct the most absurd stories - always with himself as the starring character - and blather on endlessly. The stories would get so stupid, and such obvious errors would creep into the plots, that eventually you KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was just spinning another yarn. And, what's more, I'm pretty sure HE knew that YOU knew he was B.S.ing, but he'd continue on regardless.

I even saw him tell one of his tales at a Limb meeting, in front of God and everybody. What an embarassment.

People were coughing nervously and looking at the floor, but he continued on telling his tale. I mean, if you can't even fool glassyeyed Wayfers at a Limb Meeting, your storytelling skills are seriously lacking. But he wasn't discouraged in the least by the response.

As near as I know, he's STILL a leader in some half-baked splinter group, and STILL telling his tales, no doubt.

There were some seriously maladjusted folks in WayWorld, drawn in like flies to buzz around around the pile of Bollchit...

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The worst?Why that would be mr.chris gramlic3.A herr hitler if there ever was one

a mindless drooling follower of the forehead if there was one.His idea of help in the household

was not to ask for help.when you had a severe need.

As a poster said,It got worst after the "fog"All the"good"leaders left,so up came the scum of the universe.

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THe strangest experience I ever had was right after a CFS class and the limb leaders wife began expounding to us ladies--with the men still in the room --- how her husband excelled in the bedroom-- I slipped away-- I'm not a prude by a long shot-- but that was just too much for me-- I felt like dropping through the floor in embarassment-- Too bad she didn't feel the same

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I'm happy to say most of my memories of weirdo leadership I endured have pretty much faded away like a bad dream. But there was one time in the mid 80s, I guess, I was visiting my parents near San Diego probably for Christmas (yeah, I said it), and being the ever faithful leaf, I attended a branch meeting with my sister who lives there.

I don't remember the specifics, but in the middle of a teaching the branch leader just started going off and started really yelling and screaming about something. I mean he really lost it. This was way beyond your "normal" loy-type yelling. It was totally uncalled for. I just remember thinking "okayyyyy.... this is real normal..." And I think my sister said that was kind of typical for him. Funny, I hadn't thought of this in a long time.

I also did do my share of housecleaning and helping to move corps branch coordinators who seemed to move a lot in the 90s. How nice it must have been to have waybots at your beck and call. And if you didn't do it right, woe be unto you.

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Now that I think about it, my brother once told me that they used to have to keep microphones away from their twig coord or she wouldn't stop expounding on the scriptures and they didn't want to be tired for work the next day. I thought it was funny at the time, but now I'm wondering if she really did use microphones. I'll have to ask him sometime. :dance:

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That someone would actually allow someone to intimidate them into marrying someone they didn't really want to marry shows you how sick these people are. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I could add a few stories but they are too "scary" to try to remember.

I'll just say to anyone who reads this and is still in "ruuuuuuuuuuun".

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I have many 'scary' memories, but I just remembered this 'head scratcher'.

I was helping set up for a limb meeting in the early 80's, and overheard some corps woman berating herself because of a rainstorm. She seemed genuinely perplexed why her 'believing' hadn't prevented the rain.

Not long after an area of the state was hit with a major storm, that caused some flooding and damage. The branch leader there was publicly boiled in oil by the limb leader at a twig coord meeting . The limb leader went on about how the branch leader was 'responsible' for that part of the state, and if he couldn't take care of his area, then maybe it was time for a change.

I just sat there in wonder. We're supposed to control the weather now? I realized again, that there was no way I was going in the corps if that's what they expect.

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I have many 'scary' memories, but I just remembered this 'head scratcher'.

I was helping set up for a limb meeting in the early 80's, and overheard some corps woman berating herself because of a rainstorm. She seemed genuinely perplexed why her 'believing' hadn't prevented the rain.

Not long after an area of the state was hit with a major storm, that caused some flooding and damage. The branch leader there was publicly boiled in oil by the limb leader at a twig coord meeting . The limb leader went on about how the branch leader was 'responsible' for that part of the state, and if he couldn't take care of his area, then maybe it was time for a change.

I just sat there in wonder. We're supposed to control the weather now? I realized again, that there was no way I was going in the corps if that's what they expect.

Oh my. I'd forgotten about being blamed for weather. It hit my funny bone as I was reading your post. I wish I'd had the sense back then to laugh. But I remembr being asked where I had missed it and then really worrying about it and feeling bad. OMG. No wonder my self esteem took such a nose dive. I didn't believe big enough to control the weather. :o :biglaugh: :lol:

Oh yeah, I remember being told that if you couldn't lead songs then you couldn't help or lead people. (I was struggling with the 6th (?) count.......So I would only pick songs out of ring adong de vey that had two counts. LOL.

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Biggest Way loser (still in, I believe) in the Asheville, NC area: J*m D*r* ... arrived in Hickory with three children and wife pregnant with 4th child in a van with almost bald tires ... real responsible, that one. Then, because they were now full time staff, he arranged for dental appointments (which he had not been able to afford before, he told me). Also had a long list of rules and what snacks you could eat at what time posted on his refrigerator to remind his kids. Also, never let them stay up for church "unless invited," even though they were allowed to play quietly in their rooms on the second floor. Often had breath that smelled of stale, strong coffee ... also used believers to do his yard work and babysitting, while allowing his oldest son, his namesake, to belittle the babysitter. Even admitted how out of shape he had gotten after a few months of being full time staff ... not working, but home "working the Word" and eating his wife's homemade cookies.

As Bugs Bunny might have said, "What a maroon."

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What saddens me in reading this thread is that I knew some of the people mentioned when they were young and just like the rest of us. Sweet people with a love for God.

Sigh, It amazes me that association with twi could twist and change folks into the monsters that I read about today :( I know that folks didn`t start out wanting to be peoples worst nightmares :(

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The housework/yardwork thing seems to be kind of universal. Beautiful lakeside home every convenience you could think of and us leafy little twiglets were expected to "bless" leadership by cleaning their home while they were gone. It was apparent that other than vacuuming and dusting the public areas ie. the guest bath and meeting areas, these people did next to nothing for themselves.

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The housework/yardwork thing seems to be kind of universal. Beautiful lakeside home every convenience you could think of and us leafy little twiglets were expected to "bless" leadership by cleaning their home while they were gone. It was apparent that other than vacuuming and dusting the public areas ie. the guest bath and meeting areas, these people did next to nothing for themselves.

I did it once at the Limb of Indiana. When I got the distinct impression that it was perceived as an entitlement, and the method for achieving the standards was revealed, I never did it again, saying something along the lines that I had my own house to clean - my own yard to keep up - busy - 3 small kids - no time for this.

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What saddens me in reading this thread is that I knew some of the people mentioned when they were young and just like the rest of us. Sweet people with a love for God.

Sigh, It amazes me that association with twi could twist and change folks into the monsters that I read about today :( I know that folks didn`t start out wanting to be peoples worst nightmares :(

I've thought about what you said and I agree. But I also think true things about ourselves came through. Some people became the worst nightmares because they did have latent tyranical tendencies. I didn't start out wanting to be what I became. I turned into a complete people pleaser who felt shame to acknowledge I may have needs of my own. This was a part of my background, always trying to keep everyone happy. If a leader in the twi yelled, I jumped. I made excuses for their bad behavior and in the process hurt other people along the way. I would defend them to a serious fault.

I know how releived we all were when J** and K** left our state for a new assignment. They both were so unkind and vicious to people, especially K**. (We felt sorry for the believers that would be stuck with them next.) Maybe they will remember their younger selves one day and return to that. Until then, I hope people in their realm are able to not take their verbal abuse to heart.

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This sounds like a couple I knew in TN...

They lived on a "need" basis but needs to them were facials, massages, health club memberships, and even a pedigreed dog they couldn't even housebreak. Their children were total snots and the couple often berated me for not babysitting for free. They had their cars detailed each year and even though they were both home all day, neither one could mow the lawn or dust themselves. (And even when someone worked for them, they complained it was NEVER right. They were jerks.)

The highlight of this story is that the husband was experiencing pattern baldness... maybe it was too many u-turns under the sheets, but he had no thatch on his roof. He decided to do the "HairClub for Men" thing... and greeted us with his new rug on as we were arriving for a phone-hookup. It was hideous!

I remember greeting him - the hug and kiss thing - and I couldn't take my eyes off the top of his head. Because I was raised not to say anything if you can't say anything nice, all I could do was stare. It was awful.

Then I realized... That's MY ABS SITTING ON HIS BEAN!

They were full-time WC Limb Coordinators - and that was my ABS on his head. I was driving a car that blew black smoke and he was worried - VANITY - about his hair line. I wanted to vomit. I realized what selfish jerks these people were that day.

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This sounds like a couple I knew in TN...

They lived on a "need" basis but needs to them were facials, massages, health club memberships, and even a pedigreed dog they couldn't even housebreak. Their children were total snots and the couple often berated me for not babysitting for free. They had their cars detailed each year and even though they were both home all day, neither one could mow the lawn or dust themselves. (And even when someone worked for them, they complained it was NEVER right. They were jerks.)

The highlight of this story is that the husband was experiencing pattern baldness... maybe it was too many u-turns under the sheets, but he had no thatch on his roof. He decided to do the "HairClub for Men" thing... and greeted us with his new rug on as we were arriving for a phone-hookup. It was hideous!

I remember greeting him - the hug and kiss thing - and I couldn't take my eyes off the top of his head. Because I was raised not to say anything if you can't say anything nice, all I could do was stare. It was awful.

Then I realized... That's MY ABS SITTING ON HIS BEAN!

They were full-time WC Limb Coordinators - and that was my ABS on his head. I was driving a car that blew black smoke and he was worried - VANITY - about his hair line. I wanted to vomit. I realized what selfish jerks these people were that day.

Wow Chas, that is unbelievably selfish. Like all the money he saved by getting free labor and babysitting paid for that. And his money was free to begin with, not truly earned. Ick. Do you know if they are still with twi? I always wonder if people like that ever get brave enough to get out there and support themselves honestly.

Another thing used to be gifts. J** and K** demanded that they were given a card and a gift for every event they were apart of. Sure they taught, but everyone else would scrub and clean and line up those chairs in some rented room. (The worldly standards of the rented rooms were never good enough, we had to reclean and reset up everything.) They were treated like pampered divas throughout the entire thing.

They even had lists sent to all of the Twig Coords of the type of gifts they would want. These lists were to cover all holidays and birthdays as well. Then Loy announced that there was a moretorium on gifts to leadership. He said they were living off of ABS and that was enough of a gift to them. He was right on about that part. But then it kind of got turned around into this thing that it was the believers way of bribing leadership and that was spiritually out to lunch. J** and K** rode on that as an excuse to possibly save face for being such gift piggies.

They missed the gifts, I could tell. But they spinned it liked they didn't want to be bribed when all along they were the ones to solicit the gifts. The couple that came to the state after them were actually pretty cool. They did not make unreasonable and selfish demands of the believers. It was a huge difference and there was peace for a while.

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Oh my. I'd forgotten about being blamed for weather. It hit my funny bone as I was reading your post. I wish I'd had the sense back then to laugh. But I remembr being asked where I had missed it and then really worrying about it and feeling bad. OMG. No wonder my self esteem took such a nose dive. I didn't believe big enough to control the weather. :o :biglaugh: :lol:

Interestingly, I remember an AC (or AC Special) at HQ where there was a TREMENDOUS deluge. People were condemning themselves, because "if they were believing rightly, it wouldn't have rained." LCM said, "Oh, yeah? What about Noah? It's not about AVOIDING rain but believing to be PREPARED for it." He then commended everyone for their attention to detail, so that no one was really inconvenienced by the weather.

LCM -- an island of sanity in a sea of depression. :blink:

George

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First of all, let me assure those who know my identity that J & K are not us!

I am startled to hear about the TN couples' pedigreed dog. I thought the WC were strictly forbidden to have pets.

Believe me that thing with being offered the privilege of serving the LC by cleaning for them, etc started long before LCM. There were work days at Limb in Indy my first year or so in TWI, which I graciously declined. This would have been 1973-74.

It is a shame that so few could remain humble and meek in the face of being placed in such a high position. Jesus washed his disciples' feet. This was the job of the lowliest servant in the house. Apparently some of these folks held themselves to be more important than the Savior.

Too bad! They missed out on a lot by having their noses in the air like that.

WG

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I had BCs in the 80s who wanted the believers to treat them like royalty. He had "businesses" (i.e., window washing, landscaping.....errr lawn mowing), and they NEVER had money. They always rented a house they couldn't afford. They had a yellow lab who they mated only for the money they could get from the puppies. I felt so sorry for the dog. Today, he is an artist. I ran across his website, where he sells his art for up to $7,000. Hmmmmmm........

This same couple had me watch their house during Corps Week and ROA. When I arrived, I was told it would be expected for me to pay for rent, electricity, etc., and I had a list of chores to finish before they got home. It's not like I didn't already have my own rent and electricity to pay. By the way, they borrowed money from me several months prior to Corps Week, and the money they owed me was to repay what I needed to pay for rent, etc. I was a pushover to leadership back then, but I was only 23. It would not happen today.

The last I saw this couple was at the ROA in 1994. She had kids from a previous marriage, which they raised. Then they had a child together was at least 12 years younger than the others. This child was the "blessed" child from God because she had many miscarriages before getting pregnant with this child. This kid was running to the snack table in the Full Meal tent stealing food. They were too busy to pay attention to him until somone came up to them to tell them to stop letting him grab things without paying. Then they argued about who would take care of him.

They liked gifts too. The wife planned for the Branch to buy her husband a gun. I was a TC at the time, and we were asked to take a "love offering" for the gun. I mentioned it at Twig, and took back pretty miniscule money. I was approached again later for more money. I told them I already asked and people gave what they wanted and I was not going to ask again. Another newbie put the remainder of the cost of the gun on his credit card. It was such a fake moment giving that gun to him. I wanted to puke.

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A gun??!! What, they couldn't believe for God to protect them? What sort of branch leaders did they think they were? :biglaugh: Somebody gonna steal The Word from them (they surely wouldn't have "earthly treasures"?)

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They liked gifts too. The wife planned for the Branch to buy her husband a gun. I was a TC at the time, and we were asked to take a "love offering" for the gun. I mentioned it at Twig, and took back pretty miniscule money. I was approached again later for more money. I told them I already asked and people gave what they wanted and I was not going to ask again. Another newbie put the remainder of the cost of the gun on his credit card. It was such a fake moment giving that gun to him. I wanted to puke.

It's interesting that it didn't occur to them that they shouldn't have had to tell people to give them gifts. I wouldn't want anything that people were forced into giving me. But they didn't even catch on, because they still went back a second time for more money. Didn't they even stop to ponder about any of this, like some self introspection? Maybe clue into the obvious that they may not be really blessing people if they had to campaign for gifts? Interesting, yet sad and pathetic too.

Since I started this thread, something occured to me. Many of us in the city were perplexed by J** and K**'s affection for their TV shows. Especially the whole Young and the Restless thing. Some of us even tried watching it to see what it was they were getting out of it.

But now I think I know. It was probably the only comfort they had. The only thing they had to look forward to. For all their Bravado and arrogance, their lives were in shambles. They were living a life that was so unhappy for them on many levels. Yet they continued for all the wrong reasons. I think K**'s unhappiness was at the root of her temper tantrums and rages.

Hmmm. Maybe this was therapeutic for me. I actually feel sorry for them and have compassion on them. I hope they are doing better these days. I'm still glad they are far away and hope they never return. But I also hope they have found some measure of peace in their lives.

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They had a yellow lab who they mated only for the money they could get from the puppies. I felt so sorry for the dog. Today, he is an artist. I ran across his website, where he sells his art for up to $7,000. Hmmmmmm........

This one gave me a good laugh in the middle of my anger at all the jerks ... write it off to my grammar background....follow the pronouns and it sounds like today the DOG is an artist who has a website where he sells his art for up to $7,000!

You go, Rover!

Now back to your regularly scheduled program...

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