HOW THE WAY STOLE CHRISTMAS

[Mark Clarke]

HOW THE WAY STOLE CHRISTMAS

Every Christian in Church-ville liked Christmas a lot.

But The Way, with HQ in New Knoxville, did NOT.

They hated religion, and mainstream tradition;

They wanted control and our perfect submission.

It could be their heads weren’t screwed on just right.

It could be perhaps that their shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that their hearts were two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason, their hearts or their shoes,

They put forth their doctrine – the don’ts and the do’s.

“It can’t be called Christmas, ’cause it’s not a Mass.

(You know that of course if you’ve taken The Class.)

"We’ll say Household Holiday, or Ho-Ho for short

Let’s see, what other Scriptures can we distort?

No singing angels, that’s strictly forbidden!

(The morning stars singing in Job must stay hidden.)

"A tree decked with ornaments, lights and such things

Is pagan and godless – what evil it brings!

It started with Rome and their long winter nights.

(Or that’s what we’ve heard, and we know what’s right!)

"But the biggest wrong Christmas tradition of all

Was the date of Christ’s birth – he was born in the fall!

The Doctor assured us, his teaching was true.

(The men who researched it before him knew too!)

"So rather than focus on Jesus this season

Let’s cause more division and argue the reason.

We’ve got to be different from regular church,

So we can grab kids who have started to search.”

But some of the folks on the field said, “What gives?

Who are you to control us? The Lord Jesus lives!

We’re not doing those pagan rituals you fear.

We’re celebrating Jesus, at the end of the year.

"So what if he really was born in September?

The main thing is getting more folks to remember

That he is the King that God promised to send,

And there will be peace and good will in the end.”

The Way didn’t like that, not one little bit.

It threatened their power to teach Holy Writ.

“If they start to think for themselves, then they’d see

They really don’t need us – then where would we be?”

So they made an example of the folks on the field

By driving them out from their spiritual shield.

“You’re out of the WOWs and you’re out of the Corps,

And you won’t be allowed in our Twigs anymore.

"You’re causing division, we’ll mark and avoid you

For daring to question the group that employed you.

And Satan will get you, you’ll all be grease spots

By midnight, for thinking outside the nine dots!”

They thought they were doing the work of the Lord

By keeping such cop-outs from wielding the Sword.

“We can’t compromise, we must remain strong.

We cannot afford to find out we were wrong!”

The folks on the field had just heard the news

And the Way thought that they would be singing the blues.

But their sound wasn't sad! Why, their sound sounded merry!

It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!

You might think that they were the losers that day

For having been booted and shunned by The Way.

But they’d sat and they’d read from the Bible last night

And concluded that what The Way taught can’t be right.

Then they thought of something they hadn’t before.

Maybe Jesus… perhaps… means a little bit more.

We’re saved without classes, and without name tags,

We’re saved without Teachers with all of their brags.

And what happened then? Well, in Church-ville they say

That the folks on the field grew three sizes that day.

And the minute their hearts didn’t feel quite so tight,

They knew that they still were beloved in God’s sight.

They learned that God gave people brains, and what’s more,

You don’t have to leave them outside the church door.

They read for themselves, and they thought that way too,

And found that the Truth’s not a What but a Who.

And no matter the origins of Christmas traditions,

They knew if they gave them their own definitions

That bright decorations spread gladness and cheer;

And we sing Hallelujah, Messiah is here!

[Watered Garden]

:eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: l

Dr. Seuss would be proud!

Thank you so much!

WG

[geisha779]

Really awesome Mark, and I think Dr Seuss would love it too!

[cheranne]

I love it !

[Ham]

Very nice Mark. Now, at the end of the story, Unlike the Grinch, I think der vey's heart stays two sizes too small..

[frank123lol]

Or maybe,The way did not really care,we have all the loot,gave most the boot,and we will

stay here at hq.and still sing hohoho.

Mark,Thanks,I had a good laugh!A bigMerry Christmas to ya!!

[Twinky]

Excellent, Mark!

[outintexas]

Standing ovation!

[newlife]

How great is that? Thanks for your creativity! It was awesome!

[GeorgeStGeorge]

Well done!!! :eusa_clap:

George

[Thomas Loy Bumgarner]

Dr. Wierwille meets Doctor Who I know, have VP as Jacob Marley and Craig as Ebeneezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol". LCM: Bah humbug to Jesus Christ as God. Problem is VPW and LCM would have tried exorcising the 3 ghosts of Christmas as devil spirits and never would learn their lessons. Mark, bravo on your parody from Seuss. Wonder if the TWI spys get it?

[potato]

wow Mark, that was amazing! I just read part out loud and it is indeed seussian in a fantastic way!

[Bramble]

Inspired!

[coolchef]

how clever can you get? great!

[Brushstroke]

Very nice Mark! Loved it!

But...TWI doesn't celebrate Christmas? :blink:

Edited December 24, 2008 by Brushstroke

[krys]

I love it......every precious syllable!

[Mark Clarke]

Very nice Mark. Now, at the end of the story, Unlike the Grinch, I think der vey's heart stays two sizes too small..

Sad but true. But fortunately many of us who were in the Way grew out of it.

[leafytwiglet]

This is AWESOME. I love it and it is sooo true.

(Sniffle)

The very best part about me comin to GSC is that well besides meeting all of you on line

IS that I got my Christmas back.

Thank you for this.

[Mark Clarke]

Very nice Mark! Loved it!

But...TWI doesn't celebrate Christmas? :blink:

Back when I was in (70s - 80s) they celebrated it but said we should call it Household Holiday. This was because of it not really being the date of Jesus' birth, and the "pagan" origins of so many Christmas traditions. (Turns out Christmas and many of the associated traditions may not be as pagan as we were told. Check out this article and this one). I don't know if they still make a big deal about it.

Edited December 24, 2008 by Mark Clarke

[potato]

I like that take on it, Mark. seriously, who cares what customs or beliefs anyone else chooses to observe at their midwinter festival? I teach my kids that pretty much every culture has a feast or observance near the solstice because for hunter/gatherer and farming societies, it's the most depressing time of the year and the fact that the days are starting to get longer is a reason to celebrate, no matter what the celebration is called or what else is included in the observances (as long as they are positive). my daughter has been learning about other cultural and religious observances and is very fascinated by all of them. our personal observances revolve around celebrating family. some people observe the birth of Christ. I think we can all co-exist without always pointing fingers that it's wrong to celebrate what other people choose to.

as far as jesus being the "reason for the season", I get annoyed when people get preachy about it since the season existed long before midwinter festival, but anyone can make it their own reason if they like.

something funny and kind of OT... when I was a WOW in the bible belt, one of those "jesus is the reason for the season" people actually told me, after I stated that I would never lie to my kids about santa because of how devastated I was when I found out my mother had been lying to me, that it is CHILD ABUSE to prevent your kids from believing in santa! and she was serious. I could barely stop laughing, but did manage to say that I wondered how children had survived for so many thousands of years before he became part of popular western culture?

[Mark Clarke]

Not only does it not matter what other cultures celebrate at mid-winter, but I was very pleased to find out that most Christians who celebrated the birth of Christ on Christmas were not just "white-washing pagan rituals." (I also wrote about this in my blog.)

Child abuse to NOT lie to your kids!? That's a new one on me! I don't see any reason not to tell them that Santa Claus is a make believe character that we can have fun with. Someone I knew a number of years back taught his three year old that Santa was a fictitious character. And it was so cute hearing a three year old say, "fictitious character!"

Edited December 24, 2008 by Mark Clarke

[potato]

that's what we do, too. my daughter totally loves the game of santa, and I even sign our presents "from santa". my one santa rule was that my kids were not to tell other kids that santa doesn't exist if the kid believes he's real, because that's their parents' job.

[Sudo]

Mark,

You have a real flair with wordsmithing as everyone here has noted. I thought it was just great as well so now you're challenged to do another one!

sudo

[frank123lol]

Even in Twas a n ight before Christmas,it says somthing about a "story"

not that santa was real.

[Oakspear]

You can overdo the "lying about Santa" thing either way IMHO.

Some look at it as lying to their kids, some think that it's a harmless childhood custom.

I was brought up believing in Santa Claus but don't recall being devastated when I found out otherwise; I never told my own kids that Santa was real, and they don't think that they were neglected or abused as children.

Frankly I found TWI inconsistant about Christmas. On the one hand they decried its pagan origins and that Jesus was not really born in December, on the other hand most wayfers observed Christmas traditions like gift giving, trees, etc., even at HQ at times.

In my opinion they made a big deal about something small and made themselves appear ridiculous in the process.