I dont bring it up as the first topic of conversation but I dont shy away from it either, to me its a minor point of my life that is sometimes relevant sometimes not..
If it comes up or is pertinent to a conversation (which is rarely) I'll mention it, or if someone wants to go into it I'll go as far as they want...So what --its No biggie, Im not out to impress anyone, I am who I am and am generally honest about that..
Its not the worse thing Ive done and compared to what some people have told me about their lives its almost nothing at all. ( I didnt murder anybody, I didn't rape anybody, I wasnt addicted to heroin, i didnt spend time in jail--I didnt bury my first wife under the furnace---all things which people have told me....)...I was trying to learn and teach the Bible for cryinoutloud and was misdirected but well intended as a young guy... If thats "too much" for someone then I really dont want to know them anyway and could care less what they think
I don't care. It sometimes makes for interesting discussion, if for some reason I tell someone I used to be in a cult.
I was more embarrassed, and /or ashamed when I was involved. That's probably not what the way wanted from someone who was a twig coordinator, wow vet, advanced class grad.
I was more embarrassed, and /or ashamed when I was involved.
Thats a good point, I was always secretly hoping that certain people (co workers etc)wouldnt find out when I was in...It never felt right and somewhat forced...its a lot easier to talk about it now....
for years before and after my DOE (date of escape) I was embarrassed about my association so didn't talk about it. after my DOE, I also developed the typical shame victims feel over being victimized, so didn't talk about it. after working with my therapist for a while, I felt brave enough to share it with a couple of friends. I actually got respect from them for being strong enough to live through what I did and finally get out.
now it's at the point where I don't care too much, I've told some people for one reason or another and it's no big deal. sometimes they're interested in finding out what it's like to live in a cult and how I got in. it's not something I worry about anymore, although "what will people think" was a cause of discomfort for a long time.
Since I left in 2001 I have not had one single person that I mentioned it to have any idea who or what TWI was/is.
Maybe that number would be different if I ran in evangelical Christian circles, maybe not.
The other day a co-worker & I found out that we had an aquaintance in common: my last twig coordinator. All he asked me was if I had anything to do with "that church in his house".
Every once in a while I respond to "So, what brought you to Nebraska?" with "I was in a religious cult" and watch the reaction. Most don't no what to say and seem to quickly forget about it.
No only do I not much care anymore, but I'll be damned if I can find anybody else who does either.
It almost never comes up in conversation, unless the question of "what were you doing in Alabama?" or suchlike gets touched on. When I mention that I was in a cult and was trying to promote their dogma, virtually everybody I've conversed with replies with - at most - a shrug.
Hey, it was the focal point of a lot of our lives while we were involved, but the whole rest of the world has NOTHING invested in it, and as a result, just doesn't much give a damn.
I find people are interested. I find I am usually open with people, and I have no shame in my past experiences. I believe they all lend to who you are today, and they provide learning. I spent 4 hours the other night talking to someone about my 20 years in a cult. Everyone says I should write a book. I tried, but I don't feel inspired about it anymore. Maybe later.
After we left the WC Mr. Garden had the devil's own time finding a decent job, until one woman believed in him and paved the way for his interviews with the higher-ups. After we moved back to Ohio it was somewhat better, but not so much.
Myself, I just don't talk about it. I agree, it is embarrassing to say the least. I did discuss my former involvement with a psychologist during therapy. He was horrified.
Then, they usually respond by asking, "Why did you move HERE?".
My typical response is a rather simple, "It's complicated".
What I've found is that, unless someone is genuinely interested in you as a person, they would usually prefer not to pursue a conversation about something that is "complicated".
I was embarrassed for a long time. But I agree with Waysider, it is complicated so I don't get into it.
I think what really embarrasses me at times is that we rented for so long, and spent so much money on it that we didn't build any equity. We passed up some great opportunities and chose a financially unsound twi lifestyle. So it's like we are just starting out in life. I feel kind of old to just be starting out, and it all sounds so stupid now I'm embarrassed to talk about it with people who won't understand.
The subject occasionally does come up - as in what the heck brought you to this part of the country - usually at the office, as opposed to away from the office where the question rarely comes up - the area is so very transient.
I'm usually not evasive about it - it doesn't matter so much to me to tell people - but I don't tell just anyone the whole story. Sometimes, I'll just reply that it's a long story and offer to tell them about it sometime over a beer or two. Sometimes I'll say I was involved in a ministry outreach program that gave me the opportunity to move around a little.
There are a few people at the office who know more of my story as I've had more lengthy discussions with them. One person I recently began working with regularly has heard of twi. We've had some interesting discussions about our respective beliefs.
Some years ago - ten or twelve - I found that one of my co-workers used to be involved in twi. I noted some words the person used in a conversation one day. They mentioned being involved in a jesus movement - those weren't the exact words - I forget the precise wording, but at the time they sounded oddly familiar. I asked the person about it the next work day. They told me it was twi and that they'd been involved for only a couple years in the Baltimore area, and left left after becoming uncomfortable with some of the people. I don't recall now whether they had taken pfal or the later class. I then mentined I had been invovled for awhile - 20 yrs. We didn't talk much about the subject after that - not much to say.
We both still work at the same place, but I rarely see the person as they're in a different parts of a large 'company.'
Recommended Posts
cheranne
Well that is a loaded question!
When I left I talked to no one about Tha Way International,10 yrs later I began writing ,most people
are curious...but some people are standoffish it is like talking about a bowel movement when your trying to eat!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mstar1
I dont care,
I dont bring it up as the first topic of conversation but I dont shy away from it either, to me its a minor point of my life that is sometimes relevant sometimes not..
If it comes up or is pertinent to a conversation (which is rarely) I'll mention it, or if someone wants to go into it I'll go as far as they want...So what --its No biggie, Im not out to impress anyone, I am who I am and am generally honest about that..
Its not the worse thing Ive done and compared to what some people have told me about their lives its almost nothing at all. ( I didnt murder anybody, I didn't rape anybody, I wasnt addicted to heroin, i didnt spend time in jail--I didnt bury my first wife under the furnace---all things which people have told me....)...I was trying to learn and teach the Bible for cryinoutloud and was misdirected but well intended as a young guy... If thats "too much" for someone then I really dont want to know them anyway and could care less what they think
Edited by mstar1Link to comment
Share on other sites
hiway29
I don't care. It sometimes makes for interesting discussion, if for some reason I tell someone I used to be in a cult.
I was more embarrassed, and /or ashamed when I was involved. That's probably not what the way wanted from someone who was a twig coordinator, wow vet, advanced class grad.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mstar1
Thats a good point, I was always secretly hoping that certain people (co workers etc)wouldnt find out when I was in...It never felt right and somewhat forced...its a lot easier to talk about it now....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
potato
for years before and after my DOE (date of escape) I was embarrassed about my association so didn't talk about it. after my DOE, I also developed the typical shame victims feel over being victimized, so didn't talk about it. after working with my therapist for a while, I felt brave enough to share it with a couple of friends. I actually got respect from them for being strong enough to live through what I did and finally get out.
now it's at the point where I don't care too much, I've told some people for one reason or another and it's no big deal. sometimes they're interested in finding out what it's like to live in a cult and how I got in. it's not something I worry about anymore, although "what will people think" was a cause of discomfort for a long time.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
coolchef
it's a good conversation subject. i don't avoid it at all.sometimes i bring it up,and i alwasy stress,that i was duped but smart enough to have a doe!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Oakspear
Since I left in 2001 I have not had one single person that I mentioned it to have any idea who or what TWI was/is.
Maybe that number would be different if I ran in evangelical Christian circles, maybe not.
The other day a co-worker & I found out that we had an aquaintance in common: my last twig coordinator. All he asked me was if I had anything to do with "that church in his house".
Every once in a while I respond to "So, what brought you to Nebraska?" with "I was in a religious cult" and watch the reaction. Most don't no what to say and seem to quickly forget about it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
George Aar
No only do I not much care anymore, but I'll be damned if I can find anybody else who does either.
It almost never comes up in conversation, unless the question of "what were you doing in Alabama?" or suchlike gets touched on. When I mention that I was in a cult and was trying to promote their dogma, virtually everybody I've conversed with replies with - at most - a shrug.
Hey, it was the focal point of a lot of our lives while we were involved, but the whole rest of the world has NOTHING invested in it, and as a result, just doesn't much give a damn.
Works for me...
Edited by George AarLink to comment
Share on other sites
Nottawayfer
I find people are interested. I find I am usually open with people, and I have no shame in my past experiences. I believe they all lend to who you are today, and they provide learning. I spent 4 hours the other night talking to someone about my 20 years in a cult. Everyone says I should write a book. I tried, but I don't feel inspired about it anymore. Maybe later.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Watered Garden
After we left the WC Mr. Garden had the devil's own time finding a decent job, until one woman believed in him and paved the way for his interviews with the higher-ups. After we moved back to Ohio it was somewhat better, but not so much.
Myself, I just don't talk about it. I agree, it is embarrassing to say the least. I did discuss my former involvement with a psychologist during therapy. He was horrified.
WG
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
When People ask me where I'm from, I tell them.
Then, they usually respond by asking, "Why did you move HERE?".
My typical response is a rather simple, "It's complicated".
What I've found is that, unless someone is genuinely interested in you as a person, they would usually prefer not to pursue a conversation about something that is "complicated".
Link to comment
Share on other sites
finallyunderstand
I was embarrassed for a long time. But I agree with Waysider, it is complicated so I don't get into it.
I think what really embarrasses me at times is that we rented for so long, and spent so much money on it that we didn't build any equity. We passed up some great opportunities and chose a financially unsound twi lifestyle. So it's like we are just starting out in life. I feel kind of old to just be starting out, and it all sounds so stupid now I'm embarrassed to talk about it with people who won't understand.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Peruser
The subject occasionally does come up - as in what the heck brought you to this part of the country - usually at the office, as opposed to away from the office where the question rarely comes up - the area is so very transient.
I'm usually not evasive about it - it doesn't matter so much to me to tell people - but I don't tell just anyone the whole story. Sometimes, I'll just reply that it's a long story and offer to tell them about it sometime over a beer or two. Sometimes I'll say I was involved in a ministry outreach program that gave me the opportunity to move around a little.
There are a few people at the office who know more of my story as I've had more lengthy discussions with them. One person I recently began working with regularly has heard of twi. We've had some interesting discussions about our respective beliefs.
Some years ago - ten or twelve - I found that one of my co-workers used to be involved in twi. I noted some words the person used in a conversation one day. They mentioned being involved in a jesus movement - those weren't the exact words - I forget the precise wording, but at the time they sounded oddly familiar. I asked the person about it the next work day. They told me it was twi and that they'd been involved for only a couple years in the Baltimore area, and left left after becoming uncomfortable with some of the people. I don't recall now whether they had taken pfal or the later class. I then mentined I had been invovled for awhile - 20 yrs. We didn't talk much about the subject after that - not much to say.
We both still work at the same place, but I rarely see the person as they're in a different parts of a large 'company.'
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.