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Going back after leaving "The Way"


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Oldies has complained that I deleted his posts, but not all the complaints about it.

He first posted it here, addressed directly at me and then PM'd me.

For those who may not know, Oldies has been here for many years, helped write the current set of rules, and even more. He is without excuse.

Here's my answer:

I'm not going to wipe your foot for you.

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For those you may be concerned about continuing to post on this thread and having OldiesMan spew more of what he has, do not be concerned.

Oldiesman is taking a vacation from GreaseSpot. Both in posting and PM's. For at least the next 30 days. Probably longer.

Could be shorter, but apologizing doesn't seem to be in the cards for him....

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Believersnonbelievers I wanted to address your question about why you were brought together with your GF. I believe that no meeting is ever by coincidence or accident. You were both brought together or crossed paths to help each other or to learn something from each other.

I have met many people in my life good bad and other and I have always benefited in some way...

and I hope that the people who have met me have too. Perhaps you were there to keep her from going into the corps and to give her a breath of the freedom of the true Christian walk. Certainly you have learned a lot. I am sorry though that you are in such a difficult situation. Perhaps she was there in your life so you could better understand your walk in Christ.

I hope she can find the freedom from the bonds of TWI and I hope the two of you were called to stand together

but do not entangle yourself with TWI.

I had what would be considered a relatively easy time in TWI but the legalistic nonsense has definitely crippled my walk with God and my relationships with friends and family.

Hugs and prayers are continued for you and your GF.

edited for spelling errors

Edited by leafytwiglet
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Believersnonbelievers,

In my life, you put your loved ones first.

I got a question for you to consider and keep asking yourself along this line. Where does she put _you_ in her life? How much love and concern does she show _you_? ... Love has to go both ways, my friend, or else it don't work.

And from what I see in her attitude, I seriously don't think that she cares very much for you. Not if she's going to put TWI ahead of you that way.

Perhaps that was like a cold slap in the face, ... but sometimes reality is like that.

Oh by the way, ... :biglaugh: to Oldies. I was wondering if (when) he'd jump in in this thread. Good to see that he was given his 'vacation' from the board. Hope he gets a good amount of rest & relaxation. ;)

Edited by GarthP2000
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Can anyone shed some light on if anything is taught as far as who/what is important at TWI? Are children taught to disassociate with kids in their schools who aren't members? I was at a fellowship last summer and a young senior gave a "heartfelt speech" about her two weeks at the advanced class and she said that "the best part of the trip was realizing who my real friends are. I mean all the girls I have been hanging around with my life, who I laughed and cried with, are not my real friends. The people I met at the class are my new best friends!" That's not word for word, but it's close. That really struck me as odd and a slap in the face to the people she laughed and cried. You know, her actual real friends.

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Can anyone shed some light on if anything is taught as far as who/what is important at TWI? Are children taught to disassociate with kids in their schools who aren't members? I was at a fellowship last summer and a young senior gave a "heartfelt speech" about her two weeks at the advanced class and she said that "the best part of the trip was realizing who my real friends are. I mean all the girls I have been hanging around with my life, who I laughed and cried with, are not my real friends. The people I met at the class are my new best friends!" That's not word for word, but it's close. That really struck me as odd and a slap in the face to the people she laughed and cried. You know, her actual real friends.

twi believes that it must be the most important thing in someones life. Of course they may not say it as blatently to a "new person". twi will want to run every aspect of your life. this includes (but not limited to), where to live, who you should live with, how you spend your money, who your friends are, what you should do with your "free time" etc... Obviously this dosen't happen all at once, but it happens over time and it is done subtly. At some point in time this mentality become ingrained.

One of the hardest things for some who have left twi is the coming to the realization that they were conned, believed lies, acted, devoted your time money, talent and lives to those who have been lieing to you. In short, it is admitting that you were wrong in your thinking.

It sounds like your gf is in denial about twi. What it was and what it is. The cold hard truth is, untill she is ready to leave twi and never return, you may be better off without her. In the short term that sucks. But, in the long run it may be the best thing. (If she does decide to leave, obviously this changes things)

Good luck!

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If she is going back she loves twi more then you. God would not make her chose; the twi does.

copenhagen

Very well put!!!

The sad thing is, she will tell you to your face she loves you and mean it. And she will think she knows what love is, because she was taught about the 'ultimate' love of Jesus Christ in twi. Unfortunately, what they practice is anything BUT love, and that's all she has really known. Just words on paper, not the real thing in action.

The other thing I think you should consider is the need for people to "decompress" after leaving twi. It's like they put you into a box (mentally, emotionally) and then they screw it down and screw it down over time as they put more and more demands on your life... to the point you can hardly breathe but all you know anymore are the walls of your box and so as uncomfortable as it is, it is still your comfort zone. And when (if) you ever bring yourself to break out of the box, at first you are thrilled and elated and then you are terrified because the world is suddenly this big scarey place and you aren't sure where you fit in anymore. You don't have a real support system outside of the box, and you haven't made your own decisions for so long (and you've been taught to distrust your own instincts) so you aren't sure which end is up or what to do next! Everyone is going to react differently but I found myself unable to tolerate anyone else asking me to make a commitment of any kind. And I felt like after all those years of doing what everyone else expected of me, I was due for a little "ME" time!!!! It is just easy to lose your temper and lash out at anyone and everything around you in an effort to find your center of gravity again.

So it is sad but completely understandable why people sometimes return to twi. Like an abused spouse who, while being beaten and terrorized, knows she is in danger and should leave no matter what, but who (once the imminent danger is alleviated) is too afraid to really leave. It is too hard, too much work, too much unknown, and she has been systematically taught to devalue herself to the point that she thinks she is actually not worth the amount of effort and emotional discomfort necessary to make the change. And the really sad part is, it doesn't matter WHAT you say or do, if that person isn't ready, you will NOT get through to them. I have watched friends, family members, and myself go through this... You either have to decide the he!! you are about to go through is still gonna be a lot better than the he!! you are currently going through, or decide that you ARE worth the time and effort it will take to extricate yourself, or both... or you will stay put no matter how much noise you make about being unhappy or wanting to leave.

It sounds to me like she is at that midway point. She has made her break but when things get tough or a little scary or go in a direction she doesn't feel confident about, she misses her comfort zone. And really, she is sorta having her cake and eating it, too. She has you, she has them, but she's not completely sold out to them right now, nor is she completely sold out to you, and she probably thinks she's doing alright. She simply doesn't understand that you cannot stay balanced on the tip of the fencepost forever.

It is really harsh to say but if she is routinely putting TWI ahead of you, she has already made her choice (consciously or unconsciously). For whatever reason she is not yet ready and able to walk completely away from these people. And she will keep choosing them (over you) until she sees what SHE thinks is a big enough reason to change.

Hope this makes sense.

Edited by TheHighWay
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Can anyone shed some light on if anything is taught as far as who/what is important at TWI? Are children taught to disassociate with kids in their schools who aren't members? I was at a fellowship last summer and a young senior gave a "heartfelt speech" about her two weeks at the advanced class and she said that "the best part of the trip was realizing who my real friends are. I mean all the girls I have been hanging around with my life, who I laughed and cried with, are not my real friends. The people I met at the class are my new best friends!" That's not word for word, but it's close. That really struck me as odd and a slap in the face to the people she laughed and cried. You know, her actual real friends.

this is very typical and is rooted in vpw's motto "I have no friends when it comes to the Word", which is at the root of the dogma that you can only be "like-minded" with people who believe exactly as you do (twi doctrine) and to spend time on close relationships with people who you aren't "like-minded" with is to unequally yoke yourself with "unbelievers" and is a waste of your time and will hold you back from realizing your potential.

however, I found after 20 years in twi that the only real friends I had within the walls of Zion were the fringe elements who valued real friendship regardless of twi status and who didn't consider people a waste of time if they didn't want twi, and once I made a few friends on the outside, I came to see how damaging twi's dogmatic approach to friendship can be.

now put yourself into the equation. if she decides to throw herself into twi, she will have no friends when it comes to the word, because that's what you have to believe to be like-minded with the group. anyone not like-minded on twi doctrine can't be a real friend, including you. you will be regarded as a roadblock to her realizing her potential. that's a harsh truth, but since I left during the "new, more tolerant, softer" twi of Rivenbark, I know firsthand that the doctrine is ingrained in twi and in order to abandon it, the entire culture based on vpw's writings would have to be eradicated, but no one is going to do that. no one can change twi because twi IS vpw at its core.

sorry, just realized I used Wayspeak and although you've had plenty of experience with twi I shouldn't assume this particular colloquialism was ever explained. being inside the walls of Zion was one of lcm's teachings, meaning you had to be completely within twi (God's chosen people), adhering to every doctrine, obeying every commandment of leadership, to be safe. otherwise the devil would getcha.

yes, lcm was that arrogant.

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Can anyone shed some light on if anything is taught as far as who/what is important at TWI? Are children taught to disassociate with kids in their schools who aren't members? I was at a fellowship last summer and a young senior gave a "heartfelt speech" about her two weeks at the advanced class and she said that "the best part of the trip was realizing who my real friends are. I mean all the girls I have been hanging around with my life, who I laughed and cried with, are not my real friends. The people I met at the class are my new best friends!" That's not word for word, but it's close. That really struck me as odd and a slap in the face to the people she laughed and cried. You know, her actual real friends.

That is standard fare for The Way. They believe that they are "the one true household of God". In addition, they believe that God provides a special "hedge of protection" to those who are loyal to the organization. They also believe, inversely, that life outside the household is an invitation to the devil to do with them as he pleases. In other words, walk away at your own risk as well as the risk of your family members. So, having friends outside the walls of Zion is playing with fire by their standards.

(God forbid you should date or even marry someone outside the fold!!)

Or put in a more simplistic manner---It's a cult, for cryin' out loud!!

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Can anyone shed some light on if anything is taught as far as who/what is important at TWI? Are children taught to disassociate with kids in their schools who aren't members? I was at a fellowship last summer and a young senior gave a "heartfelt speech" about her two weeks at the advanced class and she said that "the best part of the trip was realizing who my real friends are. I mean all the girls I have been hanging around with my life, who I laughed and cried with, are not my real friends. The people I met at the class are my new best friends!" That's not word for word, but it's close. That really struck me as odd and a slap in the face to the people she laughed and cried. You know, her actual real friends.

A little light. No they aren't taught to completely disassociate themselves with kids in schools who aren't members, at least at this time. They are not as isolationist as the Amish or Jehovah's Witnesses where they withdraw from society or have no involvement in extracurricular things like sports / etc and are expressly forbidden to have friends outside TWI.

What they are taught is an elitist interpretation of the "body of Christ". Instead of a view of this as all Christians worldwide as a body, their interpretation calls into question how any 2 body parts could work together if they are not "likeminded". In a human body, the brain, hands, eyes, etc. work together in harmony. So by TWI logic, and a vast stretch of the figurative language intended in the epistles there, they say that the REAL "body of Christ" is TWI and its members.

Another concept you will hear is the "family of God" vs. the "household of God". TWI jargon will say "in the household" or "not in the household" with respect to labeling people. People "in the household" they will say you can trust with your heart, or they will say like you observed "they are my REAL friends", etc.

Now to be fair some of what you heard may just be emotional hype because the girl went to OH for 2 weeks along with other TWI members from around the world, met many people, was excited, and made a bunch of new friends that she can link on MySpace and Facebook. However, another part of it is fundamental error in what is taught and commonly believed. It makes members what I call spiritual elitists, or spiritual snobs. Which was exactly how the Pharisees acted.

Edited by chockfull
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A good explanation of TWI's errant and arrogant doctrine as written by Chockfull. Now compare this with what is actually written in 1 Corinthians chapter 12. For a commentary on this chapter in the bible click the link below.

http://www.christianherald.info/1-corinthians-12-page-1.html

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One of the things about TWI that really used to bother me is how they would Sneer at Christians who belonged to other churches even when i was in it way back when. I found that attitude annoying as I used to be one of those people they were sneering at. IT is about as far from the example Christ set for us as you can get.

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For those who don't know what a "seed boy" is,

it's the result of various expressions from vpw and lcm.

Basically, to say someone is a "seed boy" is to claim they're permanent

employees and slaves to the devil.

The concept "born of the wrong seed" is a twi concept- as if God's

"born again" can be counterfeited equally well by the devil,

resulting in people "born of the wrong seed."

This also predates God's people getting born again, in that the people

"born of the wrong seed" begin in the book of Genesis.

Basically, anyone successful and famous would eventually be accused

of this.

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Thank you so much for all of your advice, prayers and support...and for your patience with me as I try to make sense of all this. I know she see's that this is a dangerous organization or dare I say cult. She tends to downplay everything, which I understand. It's really hard for me because she does not support what I am going through, because I am an "innocent bystander" and she is the "victim." She is very angry with me and tells me that the issues I've experiences are "all in my head." I don't think she will go back to fellowship, but she may go visit members or group functions which I will attempt to attend at your advice.

I have suggested that she visit this site...but she say's that it is just full of malicious people. She seems to respond best to people that she knows that have left cause "then she knows it comes from a credible source." I will look into small groups at church and suggest some form of counseling, either together or not. Thanks again and Please keep us in your prayers!!!!

Oh and thanks for the moon pie! :)

Hi, Believersnonbeliever, I am new to this site and still trying to figure it out. So far I have seen very little edification here. As I see it, the Way, attempts to stick to God's Word and to its motto "the Word of God is the Will of God". Does anyone do that perfectly or even near perfectly? Of course not! But at least somebody is trying to speak God's Word to people and teach them what is available from God. Your girlfriend could be right! God want us to go to His Word. Not just talk about "people" and "the past". The Word of God has healed my heart. Talking about people has never healed me. There is great power to believers in this our day and time to believers who confess Romans 10:9 and then claim their power that is available in the name of Jesus Christ. Somebody has to teach it! Somebody has to hold it forth! I do not see "grease spot cafe" teaching people the power that is available to believers in this day and time and or how to utilize it in daily living. What you do is up to you. God has given each of us the ability to decide for ourselves.

Tag

Edited by tagalong
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I have to leave real soon, but this will be interesting.

I felt pretty much like this once too!

Edited by JeffSjo
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. . . I do not see "grease spot cafe" teaching people the power that is available to believers in this day and time and or how to utilize it in daily living. . ..

I don't know that anyone claimed it did. twi makes that claim.

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There is great power to believers in this our day and time

Oh Pul-eez. Until you start communicating in English that's common to this our day and time and not the day and time of the first time you heard that phrase, you're going to be hard to read.

I'm being nice, trust me. You write like you don't have a thought process of your own that hasn't been lifted from something you heard or read.

And by the way, you're kindly invited to manifest some of that exousia you're advertizing so the other humans can see it. Of late I don't see or hear of anything coming out of the Way that would support their claims and teachings other than their own blathering. And that's what it is - cheap religious gif clip art as compared to real living color.

Ignoring the past can be troublesome. Next time you get in a car to drive, do so as if it's the first time and ignore what you've already learned. Lemme know how that works out for you.

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