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TWI leadership manners.


JeffSjo
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I've been thinking about my perception of TWI leadership and sadly some of my impressions from the early days were far more relevant than I knew at the time.

Playing politics to be in control.

Handling serious biblical issues with spin, not substance.

Deliberately destroying folks' lives for petty and twisted reasons.

Deliberately demoralizing people into NOT THINKING FOR THEMSELVES.

Turning a group of wonderful vital people into a group with about as much life as an ancient Egyptian crypt.

Encouraging and thriving on the unthinking adulation that even a false reputation can bring them.

Billing themselves as "THE MAN." Yes, even Rosie.

The thing is that sometimes I wonder if these very human problems are still with us. Learned habits and feelings can be a real b1tch to deal with. And people still have a tendency to play politics and build a rep, not just in TWI, but even here possibly.

I'd like to throw in just for good measure, please don't let folks who may still have these TWI patterns come after you in a multi-website feud of some kind. They probably are capable of wearing you down, they have a lot of practice doing so.

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"leadership" thought that saying some simple catch phrase would replace sound advice or wise counsel.

It was easy for them to say "trust God" and walk away and say the person was not believing God if things did not work out.

They were also stupid enough to think that way corp "training" had some value in the real world and made them qualified to give advise to anybody that may have a problem.

twi had a variety of scams going such as; wow program, way corps, outreach athleats, way homes, various classes etc...

I am embarrassed to admit that I fell for some of there scams. It is sometimes hard to admit that you were wrong. I thought more highly of "twi leadership" than I should have and alot more than they deserve.

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Manners. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, I saw a lot of Way believers become rude about manners. Ripping someone to shreads over a slight mis step with words, or not wiping a table properly etc....All in the name of ettiquette or being decent and in order. Some guy once flipped out and yelled at me because I passed the wrong plate to someone. I had violated ettiquette by doing that. Ironic really. He was more rude and inconsiderate by yelling at me in front of everyone than what I did by passing the wrong plate. I was humiliated at the time, but now I just think he was weird.

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He was more rude and inconsiderate by yelling at me in front of everyone than what I did by passing the wrong plate.

Precisely!

The purpose of etiquette is to make an event a pleasant and stress free experience for the participants.

What we did in TWI, with all our precise table manners, etc., was not etiquette, it was ritualized behavior.

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Precisely!

The purpose of etiquette is to make an event a pleasant and stress free experience for the participants.

What we did in TWI, with all our precise table manners, etc., was not etiquette, it was ritualized behavior.

LOL. Yep. Definately was not pleasant or sress free. So much pressure, and God forbid leadership should sit at your table.... :CUSSING:

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Encouraging and thriving on the unthinking adulation that even a false reputation can bring them.

I will add.. "encouraging and thriving on the unthinking adulation that a REALLY REALLY BAD (which very well might be an honest assessment) reputation can bring them.."

yeah.. its not "them", and the "attack" can't be from gawd.. they are arrogant enough to think an attack (or even just a plain honest inquiry) on them is an attack on God himself..

no amount of etiquette, or deodorant I know of can cover the reek of this deep seated arrogance..

Edited by Ham
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I forget who it was, perhaps Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt, but at any rate this was a person who was high high society and known for etiquette, so it was probably one of the two. This is a story my mom impressed upon me:

This individual was hosting a banquet and a famous person was the guest of honor, a person of humble origins who did not know the finer points of etiquette. At any rate, this guest, after the first course has been served, picked up his napkin and carefully tied it around his neck!!!!!! The hostess, without raising an eyebrow, did the exact same thing and so did the other guests.

That's manners, folks. Oh, and class, too.

wG

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Dear Watered Garden,

That sums much of it very nicely for me. And in my former splinter group I was amazed at the docile and content nature that the followers were expected to have while top leadership was encouraged to preform base brutality against many hearts and minds.

Your sharing reminds me of the saying "Let not the strong please themselves unto their own edification."

And leadership brutality and politicing lacks much of the grace and class that true etiquette contains.

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This individual was hosting a banquet and a famous person was the guest of honor, a person of humble origins who did not know the finer points of etiquette. At any rate, this guest, after the first course has been served, picked up his napkin and carefully tied it around his neck!!!!!! The hostess, without raising an eyebrow, did the exact same thing and so did the other guests.

That's manners, folks. Oh, and class, too.

Excellent - thanks for posting that.

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Here are some excerpts from Christian Etiquette----edited and compiled by Dorothy Owens

Page 5

"The essence of good manners is consideration. There are specific points of how and what, but when you are considerate of the feelings of others, their sensibilities, their opinions and their welfare, you are manifesting innate courtesy on which all good manners are based."

Page 41

"GOOD MANNERS SHOULD NEVER MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE."

(It's all caps in the book--- :) )

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As a child I was told to use my "indoor voice" because it was not polite to yell indoors. You certainly did not yell at the dinner table. Yet the oSC had a microphone for yelling purposeS.

When I was growing up it was considered bad manners to ask personal questions or not mind your own business. wy leadership was the biggest bunch of busy bodies I ever knew. They had too much time on their hands. "Get a real job" was probably coined with them in mind.

I Thes 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business. And to work with your own hands, as we commanded you.

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I forget who it was, perhaps Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt, but at any rate this was a person who was high high society and known for etiquette, so it was probably one of the two. This is a story my mom impressed upon me:

This individual was hosting a banquet and a famous person was the guest of honor, a person of humble origins who did not know the finer points of etiquette. At any rate, this guest, after the first course has been served, picked up his napkin and carefully tied it around his neck!!!!!! The hostess, without raising an eyebrow, did the exact same thing and so did the other guests.

That's manners, folks. Oh, and class, too.

wG

There was this well-mannered fellow I met in twi. I don't know how he's been for decades now.

His name is B3rn@rd I. We were at a meal, and he ran a table in a "blind corner", where you

couldn't see the head table, and they couldn't see you. Once, by chance, I ended up at this table.

I discovered some people planned to sit there so they could just skip all the usual twi "protocol"

and relax at a meal. I also "read" his face. He wanted to say something, but he saw that relaxing

was important to the others, so he said nothing. I responded by telling him a joke, since I

appreciated what he was doing (or wasn't doing), and paid him back the best way I could at that

moment. Besides, it gave him something else to focus on for a moment. :)

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I wish I remembered the specifics. It was a story my mother oft repeated to me in her efforts to turn me into a civilized young lady.

WG

Well, how did she do with that!? hehehe

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There was this well-mannered fellow I met in twi. I don't know how he's been for decades now.

His name is B3rn@rd I. We were at a meal, and he ran a table in a "blind corner", where you

couldn't see the head table, and they couldn't see you. Once, by chance, I ended up at this table.

I discovered some people planned to sit there so they could just skip all the usual twi "protocol"

and relax at a meal. I also "read" his face. He wanted to say something, but he saw that relaxing

was important to the others, so he said nothing. I responded by telling him a joke, since I

appreciated what he was doing (or wasn't doing), and paid him back the best way I could at that

moment. Besides, it gave him something else to focus on for a moment. :)

I remember that table! It was in "overflow." :dance:

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HOw did she do with that? Well, until I learned all the four-letters words and how to use them!

Seriously, it's something people should teach their children from both sides of the spectrum. Remember in "To Kill A Mockingbird" when the little guest pours molasses all over his food? And Scout is outraged? Manners avoids that kind of reaction. If your guest pours molasses over his mashed potatoes you just do the same. And refill the pitcher if it's not enough for him.

I'm really into making people feel comfortable.

I remember another incident from my TWI years: We were in this family's twig and they had four children. The woman was a stickler for everyone being exquisitely courteous: always, always knock and wait to be properly greeted and invited in to her home, never ask for anything that is not offered; You may get a glass from the cupboard, water jug from the refrigerator, pour yourself a glass of water, refill the water jug before replacing it in the fridge on the properly labeled shelf, and place the empty glass in the sink, but never never never get anything else out, yada yada yada. Lots of rules in her household, under the guise of "manners."

One time after twig I was drinking the proffered coffee, and God forbid, I left a lipstick ring on the cup, having been in such a hurry to get there on time I forgot to blot!!!!! Well, this lady called her four children over to her side. "Look, children!" she exclaimed. "Mrs. Garden forgot to blot her lipstick and NOW IT IS ALL OVER MY CUP!"

I felt as if I had flatulated in a branch meeting during manifestations. :redface: And, I most certainly never again as long as I lived wore lipstick to twig.

WG

WG

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I remember that table! It was in "overflow." :dance:

I'm not sure, but I think the table eventually was ratted out. I think I remember it being "confronted." Then the numbers went down and there was no longer a need for "over flow" even when there were events.

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