Politically Correct Office Christmas Party

[Hills Bro]

This is dedicated to all of us who have ever tried to be politically

correct in a politically incorrect world.

December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas

Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's

Open Pit barbecue. There will be lots of spiked

eggnog and a small band playing traditional

carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if

our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the

Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees

can be done at that time; however, no gift should

be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis Human Resources Director

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December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude

our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday

that often coincides with Christmas (though

unfortunately not this year). However, from now

on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same

policy applies to employees who are celebrating

Kwanza at this time. There will be no Christmas

tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis Human Resources Director

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December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a

member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a

non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate

this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign

on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be

anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about

the gifts exchange-- no gifts will be allowed

since the union members feel that $10 is too

much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director

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December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous

to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and

pregnant women closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians

do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have

their table. Yes, there will be a flower

arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director

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December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people--nothing sinister was intended by

wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the

anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there

is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a

red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces

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December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians--I've had it with you people!! We're

going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether

you like it or not, you can just sit at the table

farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it,

and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic

tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings,

too.

They scream when you slice them. I've heard them

scream. I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you

all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you

hear me?

The Bitch from Hell

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December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty

Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related

illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to

her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management

has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give

everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with

full pay.

[Hills Bro]

add your favorite Christmas Jokes...greetings...and/or your Favorite Childhood Christmas real life stories.

[aCertainDiciple]

That's an impossible act to follow. I kid you not, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I have forwarded it to every human being I know.

God bless and Merry Christmas.

acd

[ChasUFarley]

It really did!

I thought I was going to laugh until I cried - I needed that!

The only thing about my company's party is that you have to buy tickets to go to it! I added it up and to get tickets for hubby & myself, a babysitter, and everything would be at least a day's pay after taxes!

I should have known better than to go to work for a non-profit!

[Kay1952]

Tim and I both!

Nothing can follow that!

Kay and Tim

Kay1952

[bowtwi]

CHRISTMAS WARNING...

Christmas has been canceled

and it is all your fault

because you told Santa

you had been good this year

....and......

he died laughing

[firebee]

hope this works

walking

takes a few moments to play...........sorry

[This message was edited by firebee on December 16, 2002 at 17:45.]

[Peruser]

Our politically correct "holiday party" is tomorrow - one held off-site with lots of fun and some "fun beverages."

It will be interesting to see how "correct" everyone can remain -- those that show up that is. Some not wishing to show up are doing so as not to appear "politically incorrect," hence they stay away - (they don't want to drink something tongue loosening and say the wrong thing).

I plan to be there, leaving my desk and my stacks of papers for an "approved absence" in the interest of not only morale building, but just plain relaxation - and yes, I may drink, but I won't say the "wrong thing."

And to borrow a phrase oft used by another poster who comes to GS from time to time: "CHEERS" everyone! (thanks Garthy!)

Per

[Zshot]

Tommrow my office is having it's Christmas party. (yes, CHRISTMAS party).

There will be no alchol

However, I made some rum balls and brought them to the office today

My co-worker's and customers enjoyed my treats

We are doing the $10.00 gift exchange

(I wonder if they will notice I am giving the gift I got last year )

To be PC... Have a merry humbug