I rooted TWI and their radically corrupt principles of doctrine and practice right out of my life!
Awesome. Should be entitled "When Bitterness Teachings Backfire".
I'm not angry anymore towards those complicit in my leaving TWI. They were wrong, misguided, and being used as pawns. However, they did me a favor. What could be worse is if they refused to be used as pawns and to have me still in the organization bowing down my knees to the false prophets in charge. My life still could be in the bondage of that legalism, never intended by God.
Actually, it's hilarious to me that you have people at the very top acting like complete megalomaniacs and demanding loyalty and absolute obedience. Then when people refuse and leave they label them as bitter and teach people not to be bitter. This is removing normal boundaries of conscience. A normal person would respond to injustice with retaliation. However, label them "bitter" and teach others around them they are bitter, then the tendency is for them to not react to injustice, but rather swallow it and remain obedient. More false teaching, more brainwashing, more standing in the place of the Savior and explaining to people an opinionated divine interpretation of a teaching that should be left for the victims to interpret for themselves.
I think the reactions by people like Paul and Fern Allen, the Barnes, and others are fantastic, and completely in the face of this bitterness teaching facade. Abusers should have to face the fear of retaliation. LCM should have to pay a multi-million dollar settlement out of his organization's money to cover for his selfish and hurtful behavior. It should come out of my ABS so that I wake up and stop enabling abusers by sending in my money to them. Their followers should drop off and follow organizations that don't abuse.
Yes, root that bitterness out. And the people attached to that bitterness too. Life is too short to be stifled by mediocre minds.
It is not "bitterness" to expose wrongdoing, hypocrisy, and false teaching.
If it were, we'd be seeing a very "bitter" Jesus when he confronted false leaders. In fact, he even forgave those who were murdering him. But it didn't stop him exposing them for their vileness during his lifetime.
We'd also see a very "bitter" Paul when he confronted false leaders, whether Jewish or otherwise.
And there are heaps of warnings in the OT about who should be avoided. For us to learn from!
To expose such falseness is to speak the truth - in love.
But not to forgive - that does open the door to bitterness and corruption in one's own life.
seems like a regular enough topic that we keep revisiting here to call it important. vital. sacred. whatever.
like a fire that will not go out. just keeps smoldering. maybe the smoke is like a prayer in God's nostrils.
i'll offer another ember.
i agree with the types of monks and nuns who cared for the ill and dying throughout the histories of hospital and hospice...that unforgiveness is a type of suffering. or spiritual pain, if you will. like an inner illness or dis-ease. and it tends to really heat up and glow as we near the end of this life...whatever unforgiveness remains.
it is not that we decide to forgive or not to forgive, but more like we are kinda stuck with the pain of unforgiveness and are lucky or blessed to find our way to the other side of it. if violence, injustice and crime impacts us like an injury against our will...perhaps our unforgiveness is more like the result of a wound. even if we imagine or exaggerate the "sin"...the suffering of not being able to forgive is felt.
even practicing forgiveness is no guarantee that we find it..though it does make us more accident prone to fall into such radical grace.
so yes, of course we do well to forgive...i pray we experience such mercy.
sometimes i wonder...does "the unforgiveable sin" Jesus spoke of have something to do with the pain of unforgiveness?
(apologies for all the resent emails from all my edits...i think i'm done)
sometimes i wonder...does "the unforgiveable sin" Jesus spoke of have something to do with the pain of unforgiveness?
Awesome. makes sense to me. Love it. Thanks surguessalot :)
i think that a person cannot become forgiving without the presence of the Holy Spirit because He shows what is on the other side of that door. I really liked the picture of the fingers touching in the cistine chapel which Waydale used so much. The touch is the Holy Spirit. We really do what we can, and then the Holy Spirit makes the connection. There is a promise of a special crown for those who suffer the Martyr's cross, and it looks to me like that's because of the depth of forgiveness which one who has endured such persecution can offer as his/her sacrifice. for those to whom eternal rewards are the goal, then forgiveness is definitely a high water mark.
Received this which highlights the forgiveness of the Lord (which I believe we are called to do likewise)
In some near-death experiences, people report they were drawn toward "the light." But in this horrifying near-death experience for an atheist art professor, he was drawn into the darkness of hell, which dramatically altered the course of his life."I was a double atheist," says Howard Storm, who became a tenured art professor at Northern Kentucky University by age 27.
"I was a know-it-all college professor, and universities are some of the most closed-minded places there are," he notes.
On the last day of a three-week European art tour he led, his group had returned to their hotel in Paris after a visit to the artist Delacroix's home and studio. As Howard stood in his room with his wife and another student, suddenly he screamed and dropped to the floor in agony."I had a perforation of the small stomach, known as the duodenum," he recalls.
At first, Howard thought he was shot, and he glanced around the room to see if he could spot a smoking gun. As he writhed in pain on the ground, kicking and screaming, his wife called for a doctor."They said I needed surgery immediately," Howard says. "It's like having a burst appendix. I was told that if they don't get to it within five hours, you're probably going to die."
Howard had the misfortune of a falling ill on a Saturday in a country with socialized medicine, and no doctor could be found. "French doctors do seven surgeries a week, and after they do the seven surgeries, they take the weekend off," he discovered.
They placed him on a bed without sheets or a pillow and offered no pain medication. He waited in the room for 10 hours. "I was just lying there going south," Howard says. Meanwhile, intestinal contents were leaking into his abdominal cavity, which would soon lead to peritonitis, septic shock and certain death.At 8:30 p.m. a nurse came in and said they were still unable to find a doctor, but they would try to find one the next day, Sunday.
"I had been struggling very hard to stay alive, but when she said there was no doctor, I knew it was time to stop fighting," Howard says.
Yet the thought of death scared him. "I was terrified of dying because it meant lights out, the end of the story," he notes. "It seemed horrible that at 38-years-old, when I felt powerful and successful in my life, it would all come to an end in such a ridiculously pitiful way.
"Howard made an impassioned farewell to his wife, and told her to tell their friends and the rest of his family goodbye. Then he lost consciousness.
It wasn't long after he lost consciousness that he had a very unusual out-of-body experience, and found himself standing next to his bed, looking at himself lying there. As he stood there, he noticed he didn't feel the pain in his stomach. He felt more alive than ever, and his senses seemed more heightened than usual.
He tried to communicate with his wife and another man in the room, but they didn't respond, which frustrated him. "I was glad I didn't have the pain, but also I was very confused and disturbed by the situation."
"I saw my body lying on the bed, but I refused to believe it was me. How could that be me if I was standing there," he wondered.
Suddenly he heard people outside the room calling for him by name. They spoke English, without a French accent, which seemed strange, because everyone in the hospital either spoke French or heavily accented English.
"Come with us," they said. "Hurry up, let's go."Howard went to the doorway. "Are you from the doctor?" he asked. "I need to have surgery. I'm sick and I've been waiting a long time."
"We know all about you," one said. "We've been waiting for you. It's time for you to go. Hurry up."Howard left the room and started to walk with them down a long hallway, which was very dimly lit – almost dingy. "They took me on a very long journey through a grey space that got increasingly darker and darker," he recalls.
They walked a long time, and Howard wondered why he was not tired when he had just suffered the worst day of his life.
"Where are we going? Howard asked. "How come it's taking so long? What is the doctor's name?"
"Shut up," one said. "Be quiet," another said. "Don't ask questions."Howard's fear and apprehension grew at the same time he lost trust in his guides. "Finally it was so dark I was terrified and I said, 'I'm not going any farther. I want to go back."
"You're almost there," one replied.Howard dug in his heels. "I'm not going any farther," he said firmly.
A fight ensues
His guides began to push and pull at him. Howard fought back, but he was horribly outnumbered."We had a big fight and the fight turned into them annihilating me, which they did slowly and with much relish," he says. "Mostly they were biting and tearing at me. This went on for a long time. They did other things to humiliate and violate me which I don't talk about."
When Howard was no longer "amusing" to them, he collapsed on the ground, ripped apart, unable to move.
He lay there motionless for a few moments, completely spent. Then he was surprised by a small voice inside his head that said, 'Pray to God.'
He thought, 'I don't pray. I don't even believe in God.'Then he heard the voice a second time, 'Pray to God.''
But I wouldn't know how to pray even if I wanted to pray,' he thought. Whose voice was this, he wondered? It sounded like his voice, but the words were completely foreign to his own thinking.
Then he heard the voice a third time repeat the same message. His mind drifted back to his days in Sunday school as a child. "I tried to remember things I memorized when I was very young," he says. He struggled to think of something he could pray.Then he managed to blurt out, "The Lord is my shepherd and I shall not want…"
When the people around him heard his attempt to pray, they became enraged. "There is no God and nobody can hear you," they cried, along with other obscenities. "If you keep praying we will really hurt you."
But Howard noticed something curious. The more he prayed and began to mention God, the more they backed away from him.
Emboldened, he began to shout out bits and pieces of the Lord's Prayer, "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," and "God Bless America." Finally, he was screaming any fragments of God's truth he could muster from the moldy recesses of his memory bank.It seemed to work! Even in the darkness, he could tell they had fled, but not too far away.
As he lay there, Howard began to review his life. "I came to the conclusion I led a crummy life and I had gone down the sewer pipe of the universe. I had gone into the septic tank with other human garbage. I was being processed by the garbage people into garbage like them."
"Whatever life was supposed to be about, I missed it," he thought. "What I received was what I deserved and the people who attacked me were people like me. They were my kindred spirits. Now I will be stuck with them forever." Feelings of self-loathing and hopelessness filled his mind.
His thoughts floated back again to himself as a nine-year-old in Sunday School, "I remembered myself singing "Jesus Loves Me," and I could feel it inside me. As a child, I thought Jesus was really cool and he was my buddy and he would take care of me."
"But even if Jesus is real, why would he care about me? he thought. "He probably hates my guts. I'm not going to think anymore; I'm going to ask him.""I've got nothing else to lose. I'll give Jesus a try."
A cry for help
Then he yelled into the darkness, "Jesus, please save me!"
Within an instant, a brilliant light appeared that came closer and closer. He found himself bathed in a beautiful light, and for the first time he could clearly see his own body's miserable condition, ghastly for his own eyes to behold. "I was almost all gore."
Immediately he recognized Jesus, the King of Kings, the Rescuer, the Deliverer. "His arms reached down and touched me and everything healed up and came back together," he recalls. "He filled me with a love I never knew existed."Then he picked up Howard, like one football player picking up a fallen teammate on the field, put his arms around him, and Howard cried like a baby in His arms. "He carried me out of there and we headed to where God lives."
In his mind, Howard began to think that Jesus made a terrible mistake. "I'm garbage and I don't belong in heaven," he thought.
They stopped moving, and both Howard and Jesus were hanging in space, somewhere between heaven and hell. "We don't make mistakes," Jesus said tenderly."
He could read everything in my mind and put His voice into my head," Howard recalls. "We had very rapid, instantaneous conversations."
Then Jesus told Howard He had angels who would show him his life. "
It was a terrible experience because my life deteriorated after adolescence. I saw I became a selfish, unloving person. I was successful, a full tenured art professor at 27, the department head, but I was a jerk."
In this replay, he saw his heavy drinking and adultery. "I cheated on my wife proudly. It was horrible."
For the first time he realized the way he lived his life hurt Jesus. "I was in the arms of the most wonderful, holy, loving, kind person and we're looking at this stuff. Embarrassing doesn't even begin to describe it."
As they watched together, Howard could see the pain and disappointment on the face of Jesus. "When I did these things it was like sticking a knife into his heart."
"Do you have any questions?" Jesus asked."I have a million questions," Howard replied, and proceeded to unburden himself of anything and everything he could imagine asking an omniscient being. Jesus answered Howard's questions kindly and patiently.
When Howard couldn't think of anything else to ask, he said, "I'm ready to go to heaven now."
"You're not going to heaven. You're going back to the world," Jesus replied.Howard began to argue, but it was to no avail. Jesus told him to go back and live his life differently.
Going back
At 9:00 p.m., Howard was back in his hospital room in Paris. Less than 30 minutes had elapsed since he lost consciousness.
As Howard opened his eyes, he heard the nurse say, "
The doctor arrived at the hospital and you're going to have the surgery."As they wheeled him out of his room on a gurney, he saw his wife in the hallway. "Everything is going to be really good now," he said to her. When she heard him, she cried, thinking they were brave words.
When Howard emerged from surgery, with the effects of the anesthesia wearing off, he spoke to his wife. "It's all love," he told her. "You don't have to suffer anymore."
"You need to sleep," she replied, thinking he was slightly addled from the drugs. Then he awakened again and began to tell her about Jesus and the angels and heaven and hell."
She was an atheist and she didn't like it. She thought I lost my mind." Sadly, Howard's marriage ended in divorce after she left him many years later.
When his strength returned, Howard began to devour the Bible. "Since none of my atheist friends believed me, I started memorizing verses and I would give them Bible lectures, but that didn't go over very well," he recalls.
He grew "desperate" for fellowship in a church, and began to attend Christ Church in Fort Thomas, Kentucky, part of United Church of Christ. Howard's pastor worked with him patiently, and after three years, Howard was ordained as a lay minister in his church.
Sensing a deeper call into ministry, he attended United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio and later pastored a church in Covington, Ohio.
He also wrote a book about his experience, "My Descent Into Death," which he says was written primarily to non-believers.
Howard and his second wife, Marcia, a strong Christian, are both involved in missionary work in Belize. He maintains a passion for painting, with much of his art devoted to spiritual themes.
Here is something on forgiveness of God to us from my all time favorite Max Lucado:
Romans 3:23 says all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
Worry is falling short on faith. Impatience is falling short on kindness. The critical spirit falls short on love.
So, how often do you sin, hmm… in an hour? For the sake of discussion, let's say ten times an hour. Ten sins an hour, times sixteen waking hours, times 365 days a year, times the average life span of 74 years. I'm rounding the total off to 4,300,000 sins per person! How do you plan to pay God for your 4.3 million sin increments? You're swimming in an ocean of debt.
But God pardons the zillion sins of selfish humanity. He forgives sixty million sin-filled days. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by the grace of Jesus Christ.
In my opinion, when we have a sense that we have been forgiven, then it is no problem to forgive others.
A dear friend from a wonderful twig we had years ago in California sent me this daily devotional from Derek Prince (which he now supports). So wonderful to hear of people not only getting out of twi but also finding a place of godly rest and recuperation and rejuvenation and inspiration. There are so many places where Holy Spirit is alive and well and working heartily with people. I pray you find such a place.
Forgive And Let God Do The Rest
Ephesians 4:32
32
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
People like to say, "I can forgive, but I cannot forget." Have you heard that before? Now, in the first place, nowhere in the Bible does God tell you to forgive and then to forget. It is not in the Bible! The devil is adding something here to make the whole thing burdensome.
God only tells us to forgive because God in Christ has forgiven us a debt we cannot pay. When we do this, we do ourselves a favor because harboring bitterness and unforgiveness can sometimes destroy our health!
So just forgive and let God take care of the rest. When you really forgive, sometimes, He makes you forget. But sometimes, you still remember the incident because it was a major thing in your life. Yet, when you look back at it, the pain is no more there. The sting is gone and you are not bitter.
Joseph had forgiven his brothers before they came and bowed before him. He remembered what they did to him, but he did not remember it with bitterness. (Genesis 50:15–21) So you may remember the incident, but the bitterness is gone because you have put the cross in the picture — "God in Christ forgave me. Daddy, I forgive you. Mama, I forgive you. My cousin, I forgive you."
When you forgive, forgive by faith, not by your feelings. We walk by faith, not feelings. (2 Corinthians 5:7) Some people are waiting for feelings — "I am waiting, Father, for the right emotion to come on me to forgive that person." That "right emotion" may never come!
No, forgive by faith, and do it once and for all. Spend time in prayer. Take out your diary and write it down: "Father, I bring this person before you. You know what he did to me. Father, as You forgave me through Jesus' cross, even though I did not deserve it, by faith, I now forgive this person and I let my anger against him go in Jesus' name. Amen!"
Once you forgive by faith, you will see the sting of bitterness removed from your heart. You will experience the peace and joy of God filling your mind, and see a greater measure of wholeness in your body!
There are two conditions of the heart no one can hide: one is when the heart is filled with love and the other when we are infected with bitterness. Either condition can take over our thoughts and both can filter our entire view of life. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must make our highest quest to possess hearts full of God's love. Indeed, how successful we are at revealing Christ's love is the true measure of our spirituality.
Thus, love cannot long exist as an unexpressed or hidden secret. If love is real, it will be seen in a thousand manifestations reaching to the heart of its beloved. Love, which is in truth passion for oneness, is too powerful to be contained by mere discipline or self-control. Indeed, is not love boldly displayed in its unrequited gifts, and is it not heard in its many encouragements and expressions of concern? Is it not tangible in its unabashed enjoyment of time spent with its beloved?
Bitterness, too, cannot be hidden. A bitter soul is not seeking oneness, but justice. It is driven by the unresolved theft of its peace, personhood or possessions. Bitterness is not just a wound seeking healing; it is a prosecuting attorney building a case against the guilty. Because a bitter soul is conjoined to the injustice committed against it, it perpetually is listening to the voice of its heartache and, thus, perpetually wounded by the unforgiven offense.
Dear friends, Jesus said He came to give us life in abundance (John 10:10). He said He was anointed and sent to proclaim release to prisoners and freedom to captives (Luke 4:18). If we feel we have been spiritually incarcerated by a bitter experience or an injustice, God is not seeking to condemn us for it but to save us from it. Even now, His Spirit is reaching to release us from this unbearable burden of the past.
How Do We Become Free?
In my forty-two years of walking with the Lord, there have been times that I have been slandered, defrauded or unfairly attacked. I have had plenty of opportunities to be embittered by injustice. Not every wound was healed instantly nor each injustice swiftly remedied. Jesus said, "By your endurance you will gain your lives" (Luke 21:19). In the final analysis, being wounded or suffering loss is not the issue - Paul said he "suffered the loss of all things." The real issue is that we "may gain Christ" (Phil. 3:8).
Let me also say that often the Lord will simply remedy the offending situation itself, thus bringing healing. Let us make room for the vastness of God's grace. Hebrews 2:18 reveals that "[Christ] is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted." For no other reason except that He loves us, He will help us. Let us always make room for such grace.
At the same time, I have also recognized that God's highest goal for me is my conformity to Christ. (See Rom. 8:28-29). God heals me so He can conform me to Christ, and sometimes He reverses that process: He conforms me to Christ so He can heal me. In other words, my deliverance came as I appropriated Christ's love and learned to entrust myself to God even when I was wounded by injustice.
Consider this issue of trusting God. Peter tells us, "For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;" (1 Pet. 2:21-23).
Sometimes my healing from wounding and possible bitterness came not because restitution was made to me by the person who hurt me, but because I learned to entrust myself to God who judges righteously.
To trust that God will vindicate me in His time and in His way is a sign of spiritual maturity. To entrust our case to God is the only way we can avoid countering reviling with reviling or allowing a wound to degrade into bitterness.
There are other times when a lingering conflict would become an oppression upon my soul. Again, as an antidote to becoming bitter, Jesus taught, "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad (Luke adds, "and leap for joy"), for your reward in heaven is great" (Matt. 5:11-12).
If you have been unfairly treated, if some injustice has soiled your name or threatens your future because of your faith in Christ, one antidote is to rejoice. Before you defend your right to remain miserable, let me ask this: Have you obeyed Jesus by leaping for joy?
The Waters of Marah
The Israelites went three days without fresh water. When they finally found water,"they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter; therefore it was named Marah" (Ex. 15:22-23). Marah, you'll recall, means bitterness. They finally found water, but they could not drink it. The Lord, however, showed Moses "a tree; and he threw it into the waters, and the waters became sweet" (Ex. 15:25).
What Moses did was prophetic. The tree that was applied symbolically to the bitter water was a picture of the cross of Christ when it's applied to our bitter experiences: it turns the bitter to sweet. I know in the many times the enemy has used people to wound or strike me, as I applied the cross to my life - forgiving, blessing and letting love be perfected - the outcome has always been a greater manifestation of Christ in my life.
This is exactly how Paul handled adversity and injustice. Listen to what he wrote, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh" (2 Cor. 4:7-11).
Dear one, is this not what you desire most: the life of Jesus Himself manifested in your mortal flesh?
Lord Jesus, forgive me for trying to save my life. I purpose to trust You, to allow love to be perfected within me, to not seek justice but mercy for myself and others. Help me, Lord. Reveal Your Spirit's power within me. Even now, uproot every bitter plant in my soul. Let my words be full of grace and truth. In Jesus' name. Amen.
This might seem more appropriate for the Doctrinal forum, but please bear with my preference to see it here. I believe that The Way screwed up hugely where forgiveness is concerned and many of us have suffered because of it regardless of their intentions.
My intention is to give anyone who would be so inclined as to consider these words the opportunity to do so and I think more people would see it here than in the Doctrinal forum.
I personally was devastated by TWI having marked and avoided my son and me, falsely accusing us. I was told that we had been turned over to Satan and that God would not even spit in our direction. Forgiveness has been a huge hurdle for me in my life.
Today I'm thankful to report that not only do I faithfully attend the church of my choice, but I was recently voted in as an elder of my church and am invited to teach regularly - ANYTHING I want to share and nobody previews it at all. This invitation came after I was asked to give my testimony (I had to have a discussion to be sure I knew what they meant by the word "testimony") and beginning immediately after that service requests were made of me to speak at a community christian women's event and I've been treated with great respect by "real" clergy people and I'm even included in the ministers' breakfast meetings. What I presented on forgiveness was to an audience of 120 people.
My denomination has scholarships available for people like me so now I'm getting to unlearn the wrong teaching I learned in The Way and all the money that The Way kept when they tossed us out (and I know I agreed that if for any reason they kicked us out I would not get it back) doesn't feel like a loss anymore. My denomination is happy to sponsor me in a 3-year theology college that isn't even a requirement for a lay minister license! I just feel it's best for me to take the classes so I have a systematic way to study and unlearn or relearn as I see fit. I'm now getting to do what I set out to do when I signed on for the Way Corps. Talk about restoring that which the locusts have eaten!!!
So, forgiveness. Here's what I shared with my congregation this week:
Right smack in the middle of the Lord's Prayer is a beautiful treasure. Matt 6:12 And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
Jesus was giving an example of how to pray. He didn't just say and forgive us our debts. He didn't instruct them to vainly repeat this exact prayer. This was an example of how to pray.
He said And forgive us our debts AS we forgive our debtors.
That sets a condition. We're literally asking God to forgive us our debts the same way we forgive our debtors. We're setting the standard we'd like God to forgive us by.
The way we treat others has a direct impact on our relationship with God.
As long as we harbor unforgiveness toward others we'll never grow spiritually.
Unforgiveness is like spiritual junk food - temporarily satisfying but really harmful in the long run.
Unforgiveness is like me drinking poison and expecting the one who hurt me to die.
Ray Pritchard said in The Healing Power of Forgiveness that there are four different words for forgiveness in the Bible - 3 Hebrew and one Greek words.
The first Hebrew word means "to cover" - like using a rug to cover the dirt on your floor.
The second one means "to lift and take away" - which happens when you remove a stain from a carpet.
The third word means "to pardon" or "to wipe the record clean."
The fourth word means "to let go" or to "send away" as when you release a prisoner from jail.
When you put these words together you get a graphic picture of forgiveness. God covers our sin, He removes the inner stain, He wipes our personal record clean, and then He releases us from our guilt so we are set free. Hallelujah!!!
In Isaiah 44:22 God blots out our sins as a thick cloud.
In Jeremiah 31:34 God forgets our sins and remembers them no more.
In Isaiah 3:17 God puts our sin behind His back.
In Micah 7:19 God buries our sins in the depths of the sea
In Psalm 103:12 God removes our sin as far as the east is from the west.
Here's what Jesus said about why we should forgive others:
Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)
and
If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)
The greatest, most profound statement on this topic in the entire Bible - the finest, purest, brightest example of forgiveness - came from Jesus Himself. When He hung on the cross dying, condemned to death by evil men who plotted to murder Him and produced lying witnesses to convict Him, as He surveyed the howling mob assembled to cheer His suffering, Jesus the Son of God, the One who knew no sin, the only truly innocent man who ever walked this sin-cursed planet, uttered some words that still ring across the centuries: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34).
Many of us say, "If only the people who hurt me would show some remorse, some sorry, then maybe I would forgive them.' But that rarely happens and we use other people's inaction to continue in our bitterness, our anger and our desire to get even.
Consider Jesus. No-one seemed very sorry. Even as He said those words the crowd laughed, mocked, cheered and jeered. Those who passed by hurled insults at Him. They taunted Him, "If you're the King of Israel, come down from the cross and save Yourself."
Let's be clear on this point: When He died, the people who put him to death were quite pleased with themselves. Pilate washed his hands of the whole sordid affair. The Jewish religious leaders hated Him with a fierce, irrational hatred. They were happy to see him suffer and die.
No-one said, "I was wrong. This is a mistake. We were such fools." And yet, He said, "Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
This is precisely what we must say if we are going to follow Jesus. We must say it to people who hurt us deliberately and must say it to those who casually and thoughtlessly wound us. We must say it to those closest to us, to our husband or wife, to our children, to our parents, to our friends, to our neighbors, to our brothers and sisters, to our fellow Christians.
Some things forgiveness does not mean:
It does not mean approving of what someone else did.
It does not mean pretending that evil never took place.
It does not mean making excuses for other people's bad behavior.
It does not mean justifying evil so that sin somehow becomes less sinful.
It does not mean overlooking abuse.
It does not mean denying that others tried to hurt you repeatedly.
It does not mean letting others walk all over you.
It does not mean refusing to press charges when a crime has been committed.
It does not mean forgetting the wrong that was done.
It does not mean pretending you were never hurt.
It does not mean you must restore the relationship to what it was before.
It does not mean you must become friends again.
It does not mean there must be a total reconciliation as if nothing ever happened.
It does not mean that you must tell the person you have forgiven them.
It does not mean that all negative consequences of sin are canceled.
Forgiveness, in its essence, is a decision to refuse to live in the past. It's a conscious choice to release others from their sins against you so that you can be set free. It doesn't deny the pain or change the past, but it does break the cycle of bitterness that binds you to the wounds of yesterday. Forgiveness allows YOU to let go and move on and grow spiritually.
Forgiveness isn't an optional part of the Christian life. It is a necessary part of what it means to be a Christian. If we're going to follow Jesus, we must forgive. We have no other choice. And we must forgive as God has forgiven us - completely, freely, graciously, totally. The miracle we have received we pass on to others.
We will forgive to the extent we appreciate how much we've been forgiven. The best incentive to forgiveness is to remember how much God has already forgiven us. Think of how many sins He has covered for you. Think of the punishment you deserved that didn't happen to you because of God's grace. Jesus said, "He who has been forgiven little loves little." (Luke 7:47) Your willingness to forgive is in direct proportion to your remembrance of how much you have been forgiven.
In order to experience the healing power of forgiveness, we need two things: soft hearts and courage. Some of us have been so deeply hurt by what others have done to us. In response we chose to become hard on the inside to protect ourselves from any further pain. But that hardness has made it difficult for us to hear the gentle call of the Holy Spirit. We need soft hearts to hear His voice. And then we need courage. The timid will never forgive. Only the brave will forgive. Only the strong will have the courage to let go of the past.
Mother Teresa said, "It is by forgiving that one is forgiven."
My views on forgiveness have changed. I used to think I didn't need to forgive until the person who had wronged me apologized to me. Now I think that's silly.
Bow, forgiving is hard, but forgiving others, blesses me!
Unless someone passes old and full of years....death usually is an ugly experience for those who love. . . . . . it hurts. Ask anyone who has lost a child.
Death is an enemy, IMO. Even when someone has lived a full and happy life...to lose them can still sting. That is why Christians comfort each other with the hope of something better. 1 Thessalonians 4:18
Oddly enough, for me, an ex-twier.....one of the most poignant moments I had during this time was when the priest actually administered the "Last Rites". I stayed in the room and participated. I am not a Catholic....anymore ...and I don't believe that Last Rites gets anyone eternal life, but what struck me was the deeply human element to it all. The priest was a young guy....he radiated kindness and he really believed in what he was doing, but what I found more touching was the prayer on behalf of the person dying....asking God to forgive them.
It was so tender.....seeking forgiveness from God on behalf of another. It struck me as such a beautiful human longing . The prayer moved me and I earnestly joined my voice and heart.
I think asking God for forgiveness while we still can is so important. I think what is often very difficult is accepting that forgiveness from God. That is not always easy unless we understand what it cost or why we need it. I am of the mind that God paid a hefty price to offer us that forgiveness and it is not to be ignored while we live.
See that....back to topic. :)
779, great post!! Â It cost God his son; losing a child is pain multipled!! Â I know from experience; I would not wish that pain on anyone!!
Concerning forgiveness and the "root of bitterness":
I heard this often while in TWI. Many warnings against living in the past. Just get over it. Why am I so bitter?
Invariably they would pull the "root of bitterness" card on me and quote Hebrews 12:15.
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Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble [you], and thereby many be defiled;
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Certainly I don't want to be like the children of Israel in the wilderness, bitter and whining. Many of them were defiled because of this. I don't want to be defiled do I? Don't be so bitter.
Sounds legit doesn't it? Well, after hearing this so often I finally thought I'd try to find out what this root of bitterness is.
Hebrews 12:15 is a direct reference to a verse in the OT, namely Deuteronomy 29:18.It seemed to me that the whole 29th chapter of Deuteronomy is a warning against idolatry. I'm not going get into a lot of it here, take a look yourself and see what you think. But this from Jamieson, Fausset and Brown on Hebrews 12:15;
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"root of bitterness--not merely a "bitter root," which might possibly bring forth sweet fruits; this, a root whose essence is "bitterness," never could. Paul here refers to Deuteronomy 29:18, "Lest there should be among you a root that beareth gall and wormwood" (compare Acts 8:23). Root of bitterness comprehends every person (compare Hebrews 12:16) and every principle of doctrine or practice so radically corrupt as to spread corruption all around. The only safety is in rooting out such a root of bitterness."
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So in the end I took TWI's advice, I looked diligently lest a root of bitterness springing up troubled me: I rooted TWI and their radically corrupt principles of doctrine and practice right out of my life!
Pat, I think many of us did; thank God for small mercies!!
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bowtwi
This might seem more appropriate for the Doctrinal forum, but please bear with my preference to see it here. I believe that The Way screwed up hugely where forgiveness is concerned and many of us hav
Kit Sober
Received an email today with the lesson of the Honey Bee as a comparison to anger and how anger destroys the Honey Bee. The honey bee (or any bee I think) in his wrath sticks his stinger into a perso
Oakspear
In case anyone doesn't already know, I am neither a Christian nor an atheist, but I do have some opinions about forgiveness. For day-to-day small stuff, I find that it's not worth the effort to thin
chockfull
Awesome. Should be entitled "When Bitterness Teachings Backfire".
I'm not angry anymore towards those complicit in my leaving TWI. They were wrong, misguided, and being used as pawns. However, they did me a favor. What could be worse is if they refused to be used as pawns and to have me still in the organization bowing down my knees to the false prophets in charge. My life still could be in the bondage of that legalism, never intended by God.
Actually, it's hilarious to me that you have people at the very top acting like complete megalomaniacs and demanding loyalty and absolute obedience. Then when people refuse and leave they label them as bitter and teach people not to be bitter. This is removing normal boundaries of conscience. A normal person would respond to injustice with retaliation. However, label them "bitter" and teach others around them they are bitter, then the tendency is for them to not react to injustice, but rather swallow it and remain obedient. More false teaching, more brainwashing, more standing in the place of the Savior and explaining to people an opinionated divine interpretation of a teaching that should be left for the victims to interpret for themselves.
I think the reactions by people like Paul and Fern Allen, the Barnes, and others are fantastic, and completely in the face of this bitterness teaching facade. Abusers should have to face the fear of retaliation. LCM should have to pay a multi-million dollar settlement out of his organization's money to cover for his selfish and hurtful behavior. It should come out of my ABS so that I wake up and stop enabling abusers by sending in my money to them. Their followers should drop off and follow organizations that don't abuse.
Yes, root that bitterness out. And the people attached to that bitterness too. Life is too short to be stifled by mediocre minds.
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Ham
I would likely be unemployed, unemployable and living in the street today had I stayed in the organization..
or something close to it.
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waysider
Is that the inverse corollary to "I'd be dead if not for da ministry..."??
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Twinky
It is not "bitterness" to expose wrongdoing, hypocrisy, and false teaching.
If it were, we'd be seeing a very "bitter" Jesus when he confronted false leaders. In fact, he even forgave those who were murdering him. But it didn't stop him exposing them for their vileness during his lifetime.
We'd also see a very "bitter" Paul when he confronted false leaders, whether Jewish or otherwise.
And there are heaps of warnings in the OT about who should be avoided. For us to learn from!
To expose such falseness is to speak the truth - in love.
But not to forgive - that does open the door to bitterness and corruption in one's own life.
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sirguessalot
seems like a regular enough topic that we keep revisiting here to call it important. vital. sacred. whatever.
like a fire that will not go out. just keeps smoldering. maybe the smoke is like a prayer in God's nostrils.
i'll offer another ember.
i agree with the types of monks and nuns who cared for the ill and dying throughout the histories of hospital and hospice...that unforgiveness is a type of suffering. or spiritual pain, if you will. like an inner illness or dis-ease. and it tends to really heat up and glow as we near the end of this life...whatever unforgiveness remains.
it is not that we decide to forgive or not to forgive, but more like we are kinda stuck with the pain of unforgiveness and are lucky or blessed to find our way to the other side of it. if violence, injustice and crime impacts us like an injury against our will...perhaps our unforgiveness is more like the result of a wound. even if we imagine or exaggerate the "sin"...the suffering of not being able to forgive is felt.
even practicing forgiveness is no guarantee that we find it..though it does make us more accident prone to fall into such radical grace.
so yes, of course we do well to forgive...i pray we experience such mercy.
sometimes i wonder...does "the unforgiveable sin" Jesus spoke of have something to do with the pain of unforgiveness?
(apologies for all the resent emails from all my edits...i think i'm done)
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Kit Sober
Awesome. makes sense to me. Love it. Thanks surguessalot :)
i think that a person cannot become forgiving without the presence of the Holy Spirit because He shows what is on the other side of that door. I really liked the picture of the fingers touching in the cistine chapel which Waydale used so much. The touch is the Holy Spirit. We really do what we can, and then the Holy Spirit makes the connection. There is a promise of a special crown for those who suffer the Martyr's cross, and it looks to me like that's because of the depth of forgiveness which one who has endured such persecution can offer as his/her sacrifice. for those to whom eternal rewards are the goal, then forgiveness is definitely a high water mark.
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excathedra
i don't know what my goal is
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Kit Sober
Received this which highlights the forgiveness of the Lord (which I believe we are called to do likewise)
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Kit Sober
Here is something on forgiveness of God to us from my all time favorite Max Lucado:
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Kit Sober
A dear friend from a wonderful twig we had years ago in California sent me this daily devotional from Derek Prince (which he now supports). So wonderful to hear of people not only getting out of twi but also finding a place of godly rest and recuperation and rejuvenation and inspiration. There are so many places where Holy Spirit is alive and well and working heartily with people. I pray you find such a place.
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excathedra
that was a lovely post, kit
love,e
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Kit Sober
This is from Francis Frangipane, one of my favorites today. I agree wholeheartedly with this one especially.
Deliverance From Bitterness
(En Español)
There are two conditions of the heart no one can hide: one is when the heart is filled with love and the other when we are infected with bitterness. Either condition can take over our thoughts and both can filter our entire view of life. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must make our highest quest to possess hearts full of God's love. Indeed, how successful we are at revealing Christ's love is the true measure of our spirituality.
Thus, love cannot long exist as an unexpressed or hidden secret. If love is real, it will be seen in a thousand manifestations reaching to the heart of its beloved. Love, which is in truth passion for oneness, is too powerful to be contained by mere discipline or self-control. Indeed, is not love boldly displayed in its unrequited gifts, and is it not heard in its many encouragements and expressions of concern? Is it not tangible in its unabashed enjoyment of time spent with its beloved?
Bitterness, too, cannot be hidden. A bitter soul is not seeking oneness, but justice. It is driven by the unresolved theft of its peace, personhood or possessions. Bitterness is not just a wound seeking healing; it is a prosecuting attorney building a case against the guilty. Because a bitter soul is conjoined to the injustice committed against it, it perpetually is listening to the voice of its heartache and, thus, perpetually wounded by the unforgiven offense.
Dear friends, Jesus said He came to give us life in abundance (John 10:10). He said He was anointed and sent to proclaim release to prisoners and freedom to captives (Luke 4:18). If we feel we have been spiritually incarcerated by a bitter experience or an injustice, God is not seeking to condemn us for it but to save us from it. Even now, His Spirit is reaching to release us from this unbearable burden of the past.
How Do We Become Free?
In my forty-two years of walking with the Lord, there have been times that I have been slandered, defrauded or unfairly attacked. I have had plenty of opportunities to be embittered by injustice. Not every wound was healed instantly nor each injustice swiftly remedied. Jesus said, "By your endurance you will gain your lives" (Luke 21:19). In the final analysis, being wounded or suffering loss is not the issue - Paul said he "suffered the loss of all things." The real issue is that we "may gain Christ" (Phil. 3:8).
Let me also say that often the Lord will simply remedy the offending situation itself, thus bringing healing. Let us make room for the vastness of God's grace. Hebrews 2:18 reveals that "[Christ] is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted." For no other reason except that He loves us, He will help us. Let us always make room for such grace.
At the same time, I have also recognized that God's highest goal for me is my conformity to Christ. (See Rom. 8:28-29). God heals me so He can conform me to Christ, and sometimes He reverses that process: He conforms me to Christ so He can heal me. In other words, my deliverance came as I appropriated Christ's love and learned to entrust myself to God even when I was wounded by injustice.
Consider this issue of trusting God. Peter tells us, "For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;" (1 Pet. 2:21-23).
Sometimes my healing from wounding and possible bitterness came not because restitution was made to me by the person who hurt me, but because I learned to entrust myself to God who judges righteously.
To trust that God will vindicate me in His time and in His way is a sign of spiritual maturity. To entrust our case to God is the only way we can avoid countering reviling with reviling or allowing a wound to degrade into bitterness.
There are other times when a lingering conflict would become an oppression upon my soul. Again, as an antidote to becoming bitter, Jesus taught, "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad (Luke adds, "and leap for joy"), for your reward in heaven is great" (Matt. 5:11-12).
If you have been unfairly treated, if some injustice has soiled your name or threatens your future because of your faith in Christ, one antidote is to rejoice. Before you defend your right to remain miserable, let me ask this: Have you obeyed Jesus by leaping for joy?
The Waters of Marah
The Israelites went three days without fresh water. When they finally found water,"they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter; therefore it was named Marah" (Ex. 15:22-23). Marah, you'll recall, means bitterness. They finally found water, but they could not drink it. The Lord, however, showed Moses "a tree; and he threw it into the waters, and the waters became sweet" (Ex. 15:25).
What Moses did was prophetic. The tree that was applied symbolically to the bitter water was a picture of the cross of Christ when it's applied to our bitter experiences: it turns the bitter to sweet. I know in the many times the enemy has used people to wound or strike me, as I applied the cross to my life - forgiving, blessing and letting love be perfected - the outcome has always been a greater manifestation of Christ in my life.
This is exactly how Paul handled adversity and injustice. Listen to what he wrote, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh" (2 Cor. 4:7-11).
Dear one, is this not what you desire most: the life of Jesus Himself manifested in your mortal flesh?
Lord Jesus, forgive me for trying to save my life. I purpose to trust You, to allow love to be perfected within me, to not seek justice but mercy for myself and others. Help me, Lord. Reveal Your Spirit's power within me. Even now, uproot every bitter plant in my soul. Let my words be full of grace and truth. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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excathedra
dear god, help me see my treasure in my earthen vessel
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Grace Valerie Claire
Bow, great post!!! Â Bless you!!!
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Grace Valerie Claire
Bow, forgiving is hard, but forgiving others, blesses me!
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Grace Valerie Claire
779, great post!! Â It cost God his son; losing a child is pain multipled!! Â I know from experience; I would not wish that pain on anyone!!
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Grace Valerie Claire
Pat, I think many of us did; thank God for small mercies!!
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