Do you suffer from 'perfectionism disorder' ?

[Allan]

Hands up if you are a bit of a perfectionist? Thought so.

Hands up if you also feel overwhelmed quite a lot. Uh-huh. Stressed out? Check.

Here's the thing about perfectionism. We wear it like a badge of honour. Like it's a thing that's bad about us, but is actually - secretly - good. It's the stock answer to the classic interview "What are your greatest weaknesses?" question. "I'm a bit of a perfectionist!" pretty much every candidate will trill triumphantly. It's the traditional negative turned into a positive response, so common in fact that I wonder how many people who say it are indeed perfectionists? Maybe it's just the perfect answer to that question? Perfectionism - the perfect double-edged sword.

It can be a useful quality, no doubt about that. If I am having surgery I definitely want that surgeon to exercise her perfectionist qualities at that moment, yessiree. High risk. High stakes. Great time to pull out the perfectionist tendency. Do it.

Making a regular weeknight dinner? Not so necessary. Low stakes, medium to low reward. Good enough here is - well - perfectly good enough.

This is the key when dealing with your own perfectionism: exercising the lost art of discernment. Treating perfectionism like a special sauce and being discerning about when you apply it. It doesn't have to be like the kid going through the phase where they put tomato ketchup on everything. There are some things you just don't need to put ketchup on, and they have not yet figured out how to be discerning.

Perfectionism - think of it like mental ketchup. The perfect complement to some life situations, and a completely unnecessary addition to others.

Look at the risk and reward, then discern how much of your perfectionist special sauce needs applying. Don't assume you need to apply it liberally to everything by default.

Sometimes good enough really is good enough.

Applying perfectionism as your modus operandi, blanket strategy across all situations presented to you in life, is one of the fastest routes to feeling stressed, overwhelmed, irritable and burned-out. It's like a one-way ticket to Overwhelmsville.

And it's very little fun to live there. Sure, it's perfectly neat and organised, but it's not very fun, and the To Do list is never-ending. Much of the time "Done" really is better than "Perfect".

As a general rule the world doesn't reward perfectionists - it rewards people who get stuff done. Most of the time, Done will trump Perfect. That way you fast-track out of overwhelm, get more done and still get to maximise that quality when it really counts.

Save your perfect ketchup for the times it really counts.

[WordWolf]

If that's from an article online, please provide the URL as a link.

If it's from a print article, please cite your source.

We're curious people. And it's polite....

[Allan]

Really ? I tried the link thing earlier, that's why there's a 'blank' post below it. Seriously, you prefer a link or source for EVERYTHING ?! Why not just enjoy an article for it's little bit of wisdom or humour that it may bring ?! The title ( ironically enough is PERFECTIONISM ) and it is from an article in the New Zealand ( yes, it's a country, not an obscure U.S. state )Herald, by a columnist. I can get back to you with her name, however I seem to recall she is of Asian ethnicity, around 5' 3, quite pretty !!

[waysider]

The author is Louise Thompson.

HERE is the article.

Along with other reasons, we cite sources to give due credit to the deserving party.

Nice article, by the way.

Edited July 9, 2015 by waysider

[Twinky]

Hi Allan :wave:/>

And "bye" too, I think, didn't realise it was so late (1.35am)

[Allan]

Good night lol...you guys still havn a heatwave ? We're in for our coldest week in 15 years !! This global warming thing just might be for real...or not

[Rocky]

Really ? I tried the link thing earlier, that's why there's a 'blank' post below it. Seriously, you prefer a link or source for EVERYTHING ?! Why not just enjoy an article for it's little bit of wisdom or humour that it may bring ?! The title ( ironically enough is PERFECTIONISM ) and it is from an article in the New Zealand ( yes, it's a country, not an obscure U.S. state )Herald, by a columnist. I can get back to you with her name, however I seem to recall she is of Asian ethnicity, around 5' 3, quite pretty !!

Because there's so many intentionally misleading websites that claim to be satire. No other way to put any article in proper perspective and context.

[johniam]

quote:

Perfectionism - think of it like mental ketchup.

Ketchup is the only tomato product I don't like. So, this is perfect.

[Allan]

@Johniam...too funny bro ! @Rocky...I wouldn't have thought anyone would look at this article as satire, rules for life, someone's personal experience, a health food alternative, medical opinion, but rather as simply something that someone can read and think "hey, that's me, what a good idea, or, "interesting, I might try that, see if it works" ?! Kind of like Fox news runs an article on a squirrel that attacks a dog, or a jellybean falls from a plane and lands in someone's drink....do you really neeedddd the link and/or acknowledgement on EVERYTHING ??!! So, the person that originally penned the article is an obscure journalist from an obscure country...does this add or detract anything from the article ? This is called Greasespot 'Café', it's not an accredited centre of learning for God's sake !!

[waysider]

If you're going to quote a copyrighted article in its entirety, then yes, you need to credit your source.

[Allan]

ummm...does it say it's copyrighted ? I thought it's sub heading is quoted as the authors opinion !! btw, you realize your frog avatar is copyrighted ! Darn, this Glenfiddich is yummy

[waysider]

I'm not a copyright lawyer. Generally speaking, though, when you produce a work, it is copyrighted at the time of its creation. The certification process is a formality, set in place for the copyright owner's legal purposes. HERE is a link to the New Zealand copyright law in case you're interested.

What you did here was to copy and paste an entire newspaper article, giving no indication this was not your work. Frankly, if you had just said "I read this somewhere, its not my work." or something to that effect, it would have been fine with me. (Not legal, but O.K. with me.) The way you posted it would lead one to believe this is your own work. I'm not saying that was your intent, just that it leaves the reader with that impression.

This sort of thing is a sore spot for the ex-Way community. As you know, V.P. Wierwille plagiarized the vast majority of the published materials that bear his name, in some cases entire chapters and even entire "books". He passed them off as original work and led the readers to believe he had been inspired by God. (Lots of documentation here for those who seek it.) This is a far cry from the relatively benign act of simply posting a short newspaper article. It's an explanation, though, of why it hits a nerve here on GSC.

HERE is a link to the fair use guide for posting at GSC.

edit: My problem wasn't with the contents of the article. My problem was with the way it was posted, presented.

Also, I concede that the subtitle of the thread does give some indication the article may not be the work of the poster. Why not give authorship credit where credit is due then?

Edited July 11, 2015 by waysider

[johniam]

Allan: I think you're saying that perfectionism doesn't have to be a way of life, it can be a menu option, useful in some situation, not in others. I agree with that. There are times when you need to be a 'helicopter parent', like when the kids are infants and toddlers, but if you try to keep that up when they're teens?

[Allan]

I'm not trying to say ANYTHING ! I just reposted something that as I said in MY sub heading, a short article that helped ME...if someone else reads it and thinks it may help THEM, all good...knowing who the author is or where it was originally printed, or if it's a book/novel that's going to make it to the big screen, or whether it was typed on an apple mac or a windows office works '98 programme, is superfluous...imho

[waysider]

I'm not trying to say ANYTHING ! I just reposted something that as I said in MY sub heading, a short article that helped ME...if someone else reads it and thinks it may help THEM, all good...knowing who the author is or where it was originally printed, or if it's a book/novel that's going to make it to the big screen, or whether it was typed on an apple mac or a windows office works '98 programme, is superfluous...imho :rolleyes:/>/>

Yes, I understand that this is your opinion. Unfortunately, opinions don't change reality. If for no other reason, common courtesy requires proper credit be given where it is due. It's not that hard in this age of google. You obviously had a source because you copied it word for word. I've seen this same attitude expressed, time and time again with people who excuse Wierwille's plagiarism. Knowing who the author is or where it originated is not, as you say, superfluous. None of us would even be on this board if Wierwille had not done this very thing. (On a much larger and adversely consequential scale,of course)

Edited July 12, 2015 by waysider

[MRAP]

So, all this "staying on thread/topic" confuses me. Why do so many threads take a tangent, i.e., from perfectionism to plagerism? I will answer my own question: it's tit for tat = ego. Yes waysider, I got it about the twi/vpw plagerism, important point.

In an effort to get back to the perfectionism thread I would add: the older I get the less of a perfectionist I become except for things like my garden. It all depends on what needs to be perfect. In the medical field, you expect perfection. If your lawn has a crooked tire mark, who cares (unless it's on a major league baseball field).

Just don't let perfectionism get in the way of more important things in life, I think that is the idea that Allan was attempting to highlight when he started this thread. It's actually a very good concept.

I no longer worry if I am throwing the correct lure for a musky, I am just having fun and sometimes it works to my benefit (outa the box). Or hunting deer, I will have a cigar smoke though I know it will possibley screw up a shoot for an hour. I no longer compete as I once did, nothing to prove. If you are still in the absolute need for achievement, then perfectionism is essential.

I love getting old since I have a lesser need for perfectionism - I think it will grant me more years to my life(less stress).

Having been a perfectionist most of my life and in numerous areas of my life I now enjoy my life more having shed that perfectionism.

[waysider]

As I said in an earlier post, I thought it was a good article. I had no problem with the contents.

It's important, though, to cite sources or at least acknowledge that a piece is the work of someone else.

Sorry for the derailment.

[MRAP]

As I said in an earlier post, I thought it was a good article. I had no problem with the contents.

It's important, though, to cite sources or at least acknowledge that a piece is the work of someone else.

Sorry for the derailment.

Having said that waysider, I guess you are a perfectionist. It's OK, there's help available for even puppet frogs.

Hoping your sense of humor is still in tact.

[Twinky]

Good post, your #16, MRAP.

Doing our honest best is usually good enough. But it depends what has to be done. 80/20 rule.

Knowing how or where we can improve is also worthwhile.

The aggressive perfectionist is usually trying to compensate for his own imperfections.

[Seth R.]

There is a mental disorder called scrupulosity, it's in the category of OCD.