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Getting Daughter/Son Out of the Way


Brainstormer
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On 9/19/2016 at 8:04 PM, Brainstormer said:

I'd like to pose another question, if anyone feels inclined to answer.  Regarding the leaders at the lowest level, (that currently just lead a home ministry group), do they try to control their group members similar to those at a higher level?

I would say it is a mixed bag.  At the lowest level leaders are controlled.  And the better ones try and shield followers from that impact.

Has it changed to produce a "kinder gentler front"?  Yes rfr has done that and open vicious swearing confrontations are no more mostly.  Now she meets with high level leaders behind closed doors and fires people or kicks them out.  But there is still the same viciousness of intent and devastation to people's lives.  

98% of the people who went through their  4 year training program are no longer willing to even associate with the Way.  Those that do are in a demoted state.  What other church has even close to those negative numbers?  And this is nothing to brag about under a many are called few are chosen false bravado.  This is a ministry sucking the life and youth out of people then throwing them on a trash pile when they are middle aged to older with life responsibilities.   There are so many case studies of this.  For example go look up previous VP s on Linked In.  

Low level coordinators are currently singled out whether they have debt or not and if they do have a diminished title.  Previously they weren't allowed to lead with a mortgage due to the Way's extreme doctrine on debt.

the way will always present a kind gentle front.  Otherwise they wouldn't exist at all.  But you can't mask the evil at the top for very long.  The wizard behind the mask slips, exposes something or makes a comment revealing their true intentions.

And people leave after that.  They realize the leaders of the organization only care about themselves and protecting their little kingdom at all costs.  And make no mistake they are shunned when they leave, instructed to do so by leadership.  Every bit as dramatic as an Amish shunning.  But people will lie about that all day long.

Now you could make a case for some higher numbers of people leaving, but 98%?  That is more like Proverbs telling you wisdom cries out from the streets.

But youth seldom listens to wisdom without personal impacting experience.  So imo all you can do is keep loving them and communicate and be there to pick up the pieces when they fall.  Like a good parent.  A  non way brained parent.  A parent more like my own parents and less like the parent rfr is.

 

 

 

Edited by chockfull
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27 minutes ago, Brainstormer said:

What do you think is the main "draw" to TWI? Is it the home fellowships? The classes? The instant "friends" that surround you? The fabulous publications/books? Or something else? And what leads a person to wanting to be a WOW ambassador or in the Corps?

I don't think there is any one, single answer. Everyone has their own reason for becoming involved. And, what might have been a big draw for us old folks who got involved in the 1970's, might not be an attraction at all today. 

 

Some of the more common reasons for joining are:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of being part of something bigger than themselves.

3. The idea of doing something noble and important.

4. A desire to know more about the Bible and spiritual matters in general.

5. The list goes on.

 

Personally, I was brought into the organization by a process we have come to call "date and switch". It's just as it sounds. A TWI member feigns personal interest in a new recruit to get them to attend functions, sign up for classes. Once the new recruit is hooked, the recruiter moves on to another prospect. There are a lot of people who have posted here who have had this experience.

 

Now, as to why people go WOW or Way Corps:

Again, there are multiple, personal reasons that could be cited. However, peer pressure, in my opinion, is a major driving force. If (seemingly) everyone in your local area is moving on to more "advanced" Way endeavors, such as WOW, Way Corps, etc., those who are left behind feel somewhat less successful than their peers. This is something that is not exclusive to The Way. It's similar to the feeling people get when all their friends have definitive college and career plans but they have no idea what their next move will be.

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12 hours ago, Brainstormer said:

What do you think is the main "draw" to TWI? Is it the home fellowships? The classes? The instant "friends" that surround you? The fabulous publications/books? Or something else? And what leads a person to wanting to be a WOW ambassador or in the Corps?

Good question, Brainstormer !

i agree with Waysider's post.

people are very complex beings - so I think there's probably many reasons that may draw an individual - perhaps some they're not aware of like the longing to belong as mentioned by Waysider. But on the surface a popular Way-tactic that I learned to recruit others was to find out a very real thing the person wanted - more money, a job, healing, to succeed at something, etc., and then explain to them how the keys that they'll learn in PFAL will enable them to attain that.

At the time when I took the class I was on a spiritual quest and when they showed me the benefits on back of sign up card I chose "enables you to separate truth from error " (oh the irony of that now) - using the benefits on back of card as a way to smoke out what a person was wanting was part of that way tactic I mentioned above. Identify their need/want - and then target your sales pitch accordingly.

As far as sales tactics go I think very little of churches in general that get into the health and wealth marketing schemes. Any time I come across some teaching that goes along the genie-in-a-bottle sales pitch I often ask the question "what if the only thing Christianity offered was Jesus - would you still be interested?" 

Edited by T-Bone
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12 hours ago, Brainstormer said:

What do you think is the main "draw" to TWI? Is it the home fellowships? The classes? The instant "friends" that surround you? The fabulous publications/books? Or something else? And what leads a person to wanting to be a WOW ambassador or in the Corps?

Most people I saw come to TWI were coerced in some way or another.   An inability to recognize, articulate, or maturely react to emotional abuse leads people to be drawn to all the things you've mentioned. 

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15 hours ago, Brainstormer said:

What do you think is the main "draw" to TWI? Is it the home fellowships? The classes? The instant "friends" that surround you? The fabulous publications/books? Or something else? And what leads a person to wanting to be a WOW ambassador or in the Corps?

To handle 2nd half of question - what leads one to go wow or corps - has to do more with how manipulative TWI is in managing people and how people get detoured on life's journey.

if you stick around TWI for awhile you'll find an almost imperceptible transformation takes place; it's almost like your personal goals, passions, preferences etc are hijacked - or maybe that's reoriented to TWI's agenda; classes and programs are viewed as necessary steps in you achieving any goal. 

Maybe many of us thought TWI was the means to self-discovery . Classes and programs are a way to develop "the real you" - but it's really to help you become the consummate way believer - skilled in twi doctrine and practice.

we were led to believe TWI was God's ministry; to join programs or take on any assignment was almost like following a mandate from heaven..."You wouldn't say no to God, now would you?"

 

Edited by T-Bone
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I'm late to the party but wanted to share what I can to help you, Brainstormer. My heart goes out to you.

I was in my early 20's when I got involved with TWI and my local fellowship was also butterflies and rainbows.  I felt like I had a home away from home and a second family.  They made me feel all warm and fuzzy and fully supported which was real nice for someone many miles away from home and out on her own with not many friends in a new city. 

TWI was able to answer every one of the questions I'd had about God and the Bible that the Baptist Church I grew up in couldn't answer.  They showed me chapter and verse and I read the answer right there in black and white with my own two eyes.  It was intoxicating to feel like I was learning the Bible and would eventually know more than any minister in any other church.  ('cause us in TWI are so smart, doncha know?)   The encouragement to learn more - to do more and to be more was always there and with my desire to please and succeed it was definitely tempting to join the ranks of leadership or outreach programs. It's a very slow process, though.  Kind of like putting frogs in boiling water or putting them in cool water and ever so slowly increasing the temperature till they boil to death.

The people in my direct fellowship were successful business people who made decent amount of money but there were far more I noticed the longer I was in, who were living paycheck to paycheck and at a financial standard much less that what I had expected and desired with my college degree.  They have an answer for everything and are very good at justifying how/why they teach about the "more abundant life" but so many of them don't seem to be living it.

My parents actually considered hiring a "deprogrammer" to get me out but my dad was afraid if it didn't work that I would never talk to them again and they'd lose me forever.  I don't know if he was right or not but .... probably. So they kept loving me and calling to check on me - visiting for holidays and vacations when I wouldn't/couldn't get up to see them. My daddy was excellent at asking questions that provoke thought without being offensive or even letting on that he was asking these questions with ulterior motives.

I was getting bored with all the same ole - same ole teachings because after a while there is nothing new that they talk about or teach.  Always having to be at a meeting or going out witnessing or just never having time to veg and couch potato was getting old.  Mom said every time she talked to me I was exhausted because they manipulated every waking moment of our lives.

When the lawsuits against Craig Martindale were made public and they told us to stay off the internet or we would be possessed by devil spirits I knew they were hiding something. That's when I found this wonderful community of people and yet it still took me another five years to fully extricate myself (but I had a husband I was trying to get out, too).

Two books that helped me tremendously are "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" and "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves".

Please feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.

 

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Belle, glad to see you back posting here.  You and a few others here really helped me get my head back in order after a number of "lost years" after I was M&A'd.  And after the shock of reading all the horror stories that were posted at the Cafe at the time I discovered it.  You and a few others provided helpful advice and you sent me some articles - think I have them still.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On September 26, 2016 at 9:31 AM, Bolshevik said:

In The Way at times I know I took part in volunteer health screenings, sometimes whole fellowships get together to help some poorer family in the neighborhood.

I don't think the question is, Why does The Way not have financial date "open for viewing".  That's obvious.  It's why do people consent to The Way's practices?  

Plenty of old-timers know, or have heard enough to deny ignorance, Wierwille was a sexual predator.  With nothing to gain, and plenty to lose, they stand with The Way.  Why is an individual with The Way?

 

OMG!!!!!!  Bolshevik,  finally someone has asked the Million Dollar Question!!!!  Given what is known by thousands of people, why would anyone stand with The Way??!!  When I got involved with 

TWI, back in 1978, I did not know about all the evil that existed in it.

I had no idea of how to use a computer to find things on the 'Net to find out about organizations like TWI.  I know for young people that might seem strange, but that is the way it was 

back than.  Many of us Boomers 

got involved in "Christian" organizations not knowing their dark side.  For sure,if I had known

then, what I know today about TWI, I would never have gotten involved.  But 1978, was a long time ago, and I had no idea how godless, and evil the organization was.  Now days, anyone can find 

information about organizations, on the 'Net.  If I was a young person, I would find out about it, before I got involved with it.  I think if information like this had been known then, like it is known today, perhaps many of us would never have gotten involved with The Way.  Bolshevik, I have often asked myself why anyone today 

would stand with them, knowing how evil the organization is.  I am sure that there are many reasons why people stay with TWI,  but I do not know them. 

 

 

 

 

 

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On 11/1/2016 at 0:25 AM, Grace Valerie Claire said:

OMG!!!!!!  Bolshevik,  finally someone has asked the Million Dollar Question!!!!  Given what is known by thousands of people, why would anyone stand with The Way??!!  When I got involved with 

TWI, back in 1978, I did not know about all the evil that existed in it.

I had no idea of how to use a computer to find things on the 'Net to find out about organizations like TWI.  I know for young people that might seem strange, but that is the way it was 

back than.  Many of us Boomers 

got involved in "Christian" organizations not knowing their dark side.  For sure,if I had known

then, what I know today about TWI, I would never have gotten involved.  But 1978, was a long time ago, and I had no idea how godless, and evil the organization was.  Now days, anyone can find 

information about organizations, on the 'Net.  If I was a young person, I would find out about it, before I got involved with it.  I think if information like this had been known then, like it is known today, perhaps many of us would never have gotten involved with The Way.  Bolshevik, I have often asked myself why anyone today 

would stand with them, knowing how evil the organization is.  I am sure that there are many reasons why people stay with TWI,  but I do not know them. 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Grace, 

It sounds like you're familiar with other organizations besides The Way?

I tend to think that had the internet been around back then, VPW would have adapted to that reality.  The internet can be a great tool for evil.  Modern TWI simply chooses not to adapt to the modern world.

How a person makes choices is probably more important than how much information a person has.  Even before the internet, the human mind takes in an infinite amount more information than it consciously processes.  . . . I tend to be skeptical of the "if the internet were around back then" claims.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
15 minutes ago, Geshem the Arrabian said:

I'm new here and I am currently with the Way. I love ithe! why don't you go to a fellowship or two to meet the people? people here make it sound like your child will shave their head and start dressing in sheets. I'm sure there are legitimate hurts people have from their experiences, but you have that in any group. 

 

Geshem, son of Jahdai, descendant of Caleb?

The Way is a type of bullying.  And yes The Way is a joy for those who can't understand they are being bullied.

 

 

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7 hours ago, Geshem the Arrabian said:

I'm new here and I am currently with the Way. I love ithe! why don't you go to a fellowship or two to meet the people? people here make it sound like your child will shave their head and start dressing in sheets. I'm sure there are legitimate hurts people have from their experiences, but you have that in any group. 

 

"I'm sure there are legitimate hurts, but you have that in any group"

Geshem, you are already starting to rationalize like a true Corpse member.  I mean collateral damage, you're going to have that in any war, right? 

I mean spoken like a true Iraqi minister of intelligence - current count - 98% of Corpse under one of their deleterious manufactured statuses.  But hey, we're going to win the war.  There are always casualties. 

Frankly, shaving one's head and dressing in a sheet would be an improvement to a lifelong buy-in to a doctrine and group that would prevent a child from buying a home or going to college with a student loan due to fundamentalist Biblical views and legalistic rules.   A life doomed as forever uneducated renters at the whim and mercy of the landlords with degrees and mortgages.   In a ministry that tried to start a college but never could because their mortgage policy would effectively prevent 99.9% from obtaining a doctorate degree.  But hey they too could obtain God's deliverance.  They could go on staff.  That way they could be in a salary range bordering on the national poverty line, and thus be qualified by living in trailers at HQ for their children to qualify for Pell grants, thus attending college for free while avoiding that horrible debt and the terrible caste scrutiny placed on it families are under.

I know, you're young and don't care right now.  You don't have a family of your own.

But do yourself a favor - join a ministry that is good to those who do.

 

 

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8 hours ago, Geshem the Arrabian said:

I'm new here and I am currently with the Way. I love ithe! why don't you go to a fellowship or two to meet the people? people here make it sound like your child will shave their head and start dressing in sheets. I'm sure there are legitimate hurts people have from their experiences, but you have that in any group. 

 

As chockfull noted, your statement is entirely a rationalization. Does TWI provide advance notice that "there are legitimate hurts people have from their experiences?" That's not what it said on the Green Card when I first learned about the cult 42 years ago.

You might find this book provides insight. Mistakes were made (but not by me): Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions and hurtful acts.

I would also kindly direct your attention to Proverbs 2. The key underlying concept in Proverbs chapter two is CURIOSITY.

Has TWI programmed you to put up blocks and limitations to your curiosity?

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BTW, you might also want to get yourself a copy of Penworks' book, to be released on Tuesday this week. Undertow: My escape from the fundamentalism and cult control of The Way International.

You'll see how GSC is not about trying to convince people that TWI is trying to get their kids to wear sheets and go around selling flowers.

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13 hours ago, Geshem the Arrabian said:

I'm sure there are legitimate hurts people have from their experiences, but you have that in any group. 

 

Not in the church congregations to which I now belong.  One sets out to be a "lifeboat and a hospital" to get out and rescue hurt people.  Its parent church has a lot of people who have belonged to other abusive churches.  I wept for the first six months' services when I started attending there, as the pain and hurt were washed away.  At the other church I attend, I've never had any concerns.

Big differences are that there are very robust processes involved to deal with abusive, harmful or difficult situations.  Dealing with issues is of great concern.  Leadership can be approached at all times.  Leadership will deal (if necessary) with disputes that may cause division in the church.  Sexual impropriety is dealt with as soon as it is known about.  NOBODY ever gets yelled at or publicly disgraced or slandered.

 

Now I think of it - yes, I have deliverance.  The church minister (of a large congregation) said something that seemed to me inappropriate.  I sought a meeting with him (a "confrontation" TWI might call it) and we talked about it.  It was handled nicely and lovingly on both sides.  And strength was built and nobody was torn down.  The thought of someething like that happening at TWI is so unlikely as to be - well, laughable hardly touches it..

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17 hours ago, Geshem the Arrabian said:

I'm new here and I am currently with the Way. I love ithe! why don't you go to a fellowship or two to meet the people? people here make it sound like your child will shave their head and start dressing in sheets. I'm sure there are legitimate hurts people have from their experiences, but you have that in any group

 

sexual molestations by certain top leadership

lives and reputations of whistle-blowers trashed by an organized  slander campaign

marriages and families torn apart because one of them did not agree with TWI

people sacrificing careers, finances, and personal goals because of pressure from TWI leadership

 

Geshem you said “but you have that in any group

surely you don’t mean any group without exception…you must mean any predatory abusive parasitic life-dominating group

welcome to Grease Spot, Geshem....stick around awhile - perhaps you'll find yourself wanting to revise your statement

 

Edited by T-Bone
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Geshem, do you live in the USA, or elsewhere? If near New Knoxville, Ohio, you will quickly learn the truth. If you are living in Africa or the Middle East, or Asia, then you are not really familiar with TWI. In addition to Penworks book, there has been at least 2 other written by former members of The Way International. I would suggest that you and Brainstormer read them.

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