Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

Recently Left


Volchic
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi There,

I recently left TWI almost two years ago after being involved for 27 years. I'm still trying to unwind it all, but I do want to say that over the years I would look at the information in this group and it helped me to eventually come out of TWI. I got involved when I was 13. Met my husband at The ROA, went Way Disciple Group 5,

  I don't know how often I will be able to come here, but I would love to talk with others who have done it too. Thanks. 

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome Volchic! I'm sure you can get others to talk with here. Glad you made it. :wave:

I'm also confident that plenty of people will be interested in your perspective on what has taken place over the nearly 30 years since you first got involved with TWI.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello.

 

When you're ready, and IF you want, we will be interested in what you have to say in general, and in getting any news as to what things look like there right now. (The fewer people who are left in twi, the harder it is to get news from them.)  

As you already know, there's lots of different perspectives here. Feel free to ask questions and get information from any or all of them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome, Volchic.  Well escaped!  Welcome to Real Life.

Glad posts here have helped you.  Maybe you won't suffer quite so much from the withdrawal problems that some here have had.  Very hard when all your formative years have likely been very constricted.

As WW says, we'd be interested in your more up to date perspectives, and info on what's (not) happening nowadays.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Everyone. I appreciate the warm welcomes. I honestly have no idea how many people are left there. They keep that stuff pretty close to the vest. I can say though, that when I went WayD in '99 there were probably 50 to 60 people going out on the field from Gunnison, the West of the Mississippi group. The last WayMag I saw had pics of the folks going out and the groups were significantly smaller, as in the 5 to 10 range. Also, a development that would affect the numbers involved is the split that was the final straw for us. Yes, there has been another split up. A number of WayCorps had apparently started a group to discuss some grievances that they wanted to address to address to Rivenbark about how she was running things and how people were not seeing signs, miracles, and wonders. And the teaching from HQ had become uber stale. Ok, so I'm trying to remember and I may have some of details wrong, but this is what happened to the best of my recollection. This group began calling themselves Revival and Restoration, because their original intent was to reform TWI not leave it. I believe they first sent a letter outlining their "challenges" and solutions, and their intent to be respectful and work together with the BOD to figure it all out. I think they did call for the resignation of Rivenbark though. Anyways, Rico Magnelli, I think, had a meeting with her after the letter was sent where she summarily dismissed everything and, If my recollection is correct basically fired him. The letter was signed by some names you might know like Fort, Roberts, Moynihan, Horney, and Carter, to name a few. Anyways, this group had a list of grievances, including financial transparency, BOD accountability, and punishment of way corp for questioning Rivenbark etc. There were quite a few accusations. Anyways, our branch coordinators, whom we loved very much, were dropped in a backhanded way of just not being given an assignment. Also, the folks who had been our area coordinators for only a year, The Stiles were dropped for questioning Rivenbark.  So this group has broken off from TWI and has reformed. Last I knew they were still calling themselves Revival and Restoration. My husband and I had been eyeing the door for some time, so we took it as our opportunity to leave. I still love many people involved in both groups, but I am not interested in being a part of any of them. I've had my fill of authoritarianism. I have the letters and other emails describing what went down. Maybe I'll go back through them and refresh myself, idk.

I know some of you said you left around the time I joined, which was only a couple of years after "the fog" in 1990. When I first joined my fellowship was a very relaxed sort of hippyish deal. I smoked my first joint there, and had sex with someone in that fellowship for the first time. As time went on it became more and more controlling, and much more conservative. At one point we were instructed that it wasn't wise to go anywhere alone. Also, we were supposed to let the state leadership of any group know if we were even just traveling through their state so that we would be "spiritually covered." My husband and I, who were in our early 20's, were thoroughly reamed out at a meeting in front of everyone of course, that we attended on a trip we were taking because we hadn't let anyone know we would be in that state on our way to our destination. There was a "homo hunt" at the rock of ages in 95. Martindale became obsessed with homosexuality and in included in his version of the foundational class The Way of Abundance and Power that the thing that Eve partook of was a lesbian relationship with Satan who appeared as a woman, and Adam accepted it. (They subsequently just left that whole thing out of the foundational class they recorded after he was kicked) I often wondered if it was because of the alleged relationship between Donna and Rivenbark. When everything went down with LCM we were instructed not to look up anything to do with anything about the ministry or any of the people involved on the internet. Of course, this was to "protect us from the fiery darts of the wicked." After LCM left, everything became super boring and repetitive. Say what you will about him, but LCM was at least charismatic and entertaining. Rivenbark has a quieter gentler form of control and abuse. Over the years people tried to get us to move to HQ, but I was always struck at how robotic and fake anyone who went there came back. We actually did end up deciding to go into the way corps in 2003, and had all of our paperwork in when I ended up accidentally getting pregnant with our first child.  Thank God for that. By the time we were eligible again, my husband had decided it wasn't for him. Shortly after I found out we were pregnant we moved back to my home state because I wanted my kids to have their grandparents close, and my father was dying. I was a new mom and I was traveling the hour and a half to visit my dad as much as possible and my fellowship coordinator had the audacity to "encourage me to spend more time with the household that I was." At that point I had started to see how much the ministry had come between my family and myself and I was trying to heal those relationships. I basically told him that my father was dying and I was going to get every minute I could with him and that I would never again put the ministry before my family and he would just have to get used to it. That was the first time I ever remember standing up for myself. from there it took 14 more years to officially leave.

That's the short version of everything. It wasn't all bad, but I'm still working through things. I feel like an idiot at times for letting some of the stuff go on, or being involved with some of the things I was. For the last couple of years since leaving I have thrown myself into other things. I think I just needed some distance. After appearing on a podcast to talk about my experiences a few months ago, I have started to realize I need to work through some of this stuff now. I appreciate your listening. I'm sorry if this jumps around and is choppy. I find myself a little lost for words when it comes to some of this stuff, which is very unusual for me.

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

52 minutes ago, Volchic said:

Thanks Everyone. I appreciate the warm welcomes. I honestly have no idea how many people are left there. They keep that stuff pretty close to the vest. I can say though, that when I went WayD in '99 there were probably 50 to 60 people going out on the field from Gunnison, the West of the Mississippi group. The last WayMag I saw had pics of the folks going out and the groups were significantly smaller, as in the 5 to 10 range. Also, a development that would affect the numbers involved is the split that was the final straw for us. Yes, there has been another split up. A number of WayCorps had apparently started a group to discuss some grievances that they wanted to address to address to Rivenbark about how she was running things and how people were not seeing signs, miracles, and wonders. And the teaching from HQ had become uber stale. Ok, so I'm trying to remember and I may have some of details wrong, but this is what happened to the best of my recollection. This group began calling themselves Revival and Restoration, because their original intent was to reform TWI not leave it. I believe they first sent a letter outlining their "challenges" and solutions, and their intent to be respectful and work together with the BOD to figure it all out. I think they did call for the resignation of Rivenbark though. Anyways, Rico Magnelli, I think, had a meeting with her after the letter was sent where she summarily dismissed everything and, If my recollection is correct basically fired him. The letter was signed by some names you might know like Fort, Roberts, Moynihan, Horney, and Carter, to name a few. Anyways, this group had a list of grievances, including financial transparency, BOD accountability, and punishment of way corp for questioning Rivenbark etc. There were quite a few accusations. Anyways, our branch coordinators, whom we loved very much, were dropped in a backhanded way of just not being given an assignment. Also, the folks who had been our area coordinators for only a year, The Stiles were dropped for questioning Rivenbark.  So this group has broken off from TWI and has reformed. Last I knew they were still calling themselves Revival and Restoration. My husband and I had been eyeing the door for some time, so we took it as our opportunity to leave. I still love many people involved in both groups, but I am not interested in being a part of any of them. I've had my fill of authoritarianism. I have the letters and other emails describing what went down. Maybe I'll go back through them and refresh myself, idk.

I know some of you said you left around the time I joined, which was only a couple of years after "the fog" in 1990. When I first joined my fellowship was a very relaxed sort of hippyish deal. I smoked my first joint there, and had sex with someone in that fellowship for the first time. As time went on it became more and more controlling, and much more conservative. At one point we were instructed that it wasn't wise to go anywhere alone. Also, we were supposed to let the state leadership of any group know if we were even just traveling through their state so that we would be "spiritually covered." My husband and I, who were in our early 20's, were thoroughly reamed out at a meeting in front of everyone of course, that we attended on a trip we were taking because we hadn't let anyone know we would be in that state on our way to our destination. There was a "homo hunt" at the rock of ages in 95. Martindale became obsessed with homosexuality and in included in his version of the foundational class The Way of Abundance and Power that the thing that Eve partook of was a lesbian relationship with Satan who appeared as a woman, and Adam accepted it. (They subsequently just left that whole thing out of the foundational class they recorded after he was kicked) I often wondered if it was because of the alleged relationship between Donna and Rivenbark. When everything went down with LCM we were instructed not to look up anything to do with anything about the ministry or any of the people involved on the internet. Of course, this was to "protect us from the fiery darts of the wicked." After LCM left, everything became super boring and repetitive. Say what you will about him, but LCM was at least charismatic and entertaining. Rivenbark has a quieter gentler form of control and abuse. Over the years people tried to get us to move to HQ, but I was always struck at how robotic and fake anyone who went there came back. We actually did end up deciding to go into the way corps in 2003, and had all of our paperwork in when I ended up accidentally getting pregnant with our first child.  Thank God for that. By the time we were eligible again, my husband had decided it wasn't for him. Shortly after I found out we were pregnant we moved back to my home state because I wanted my kids to have their grandparents close, and my father was dying. I was a new mom and I was traveling the hour and a half to visit my dad as much as possible and my fellowship coordinator had the audacity to "encourage me to spend more time with the household that I was." At that point I had started to see how much the ministry had come between my family and myself and I was trying to heal those relationships. I basically told him that my father was dying and I was going to get every minute I could with him and that I would never again put the ministry before my family and he would just have to get used to it. That was the first time I ever remember standing up for myself. from there it took 14 more years to officially leave.

That's the short version of everything. It wasn't all bad, but I'm still working through things. I feel like an idiot at times for letting some of the stuff go on, or being involved with some of the things I was. For the last couple of years since leaving I have thrown myself into other things. I think I just needed some distance. After appearing on a podcast to talk about my experiences a few months ago, I have started to realize I need to work through some of this stuff now. I appreciate your listening. I'm sorry if this jumps around and is choppy. I find myself a little lost for words when it comes to some of this stuff, which is very unusual for me.

There have been a few threads in the About the Way forum about the Revival and Restoration thing. I linked to one of the threads above (in Red) when you mentioned it.

I applaud you for being open and available in your Dad's last days. I'm sure it meant a lot to him. Being a grandfather now, I can safely say that it must have provided him with great joy and comfort to have gotten to be with your children when they were very young. 

Your descriptions of events certainly fit with what we've known. Please don't feel like you need to apologize for how you say things or what you say about your experiences in TWI.

I'm also confident you will find a lot of validation here if you share more of what you went through.

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Hi Volchic!

Welcome to the Spot! And, thank for sharing some of your story. I agree with you, that “working out” some of the confusing and cognitively dissonant experiences in your years with TWIt is important. The old adage, “If we do not learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it.”, aptly applies here. 

I think as time goes by, and you take your time here to gather info, make new acquaintances, and, most importantly, continue to dialogue with the other members here about your experiences, thoughts, emotions, and psychosocial interactions during your time in TWIt, in order to effectively sort through “the good, the bad, and the ugly” of your TWIt year, will be an important beginning in your full understanding of what TWIt was, and how it affected you. Doing so will relieve any anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, or shame, which may accompany your self-reflection and your journey of self-identity. At the very least, I think GSC will provide a great launching point for your objective inquiry into the whys and whats of your involvement with a destructive, fundamentalist “Christian” cult. The very first step is overcoming that twinge of discomfort that often hits when confronting the denial which usually comes with the realization that the words, “The Way” and “a religious cult” are synonymous. 

I’m sure you will find the compassionate support and understanding so freely offered here among those of us who have made and are making the same journey you are. I bid you Godspeed in your exciting, self-determined new journey!

 

Edited by DontWorryBeHappy
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On ‎1‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 4:06 AM, Volchic said:

...my fellowship coordinator had the audacity to "encourage me to spend more time with the household that I was." At that point I had started to see how much the ministry had come between my family and myself and I was trying to heal those relationships. I basically told him that my father was dying and I was going to get every minute I could with him and that I would never again put the ministry before my family and he would just have to get used to it. That was the first time I ever remember standing up for myself.

Very good for you, Volchic.  :dance:  It was far more important for you to spend time with your dad, than with your "fellowship" coordinator.  I'm sure that helped you through the next 14 years of control freakishness.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 3/5/2019 at 3:31 PM, DontWorryBeHappy said:

Hi Volchic!

Welcome to the Spot! And, thank for sharing some of your story. I agree with you, that “working out” some of the confusing and cognitively dissonant experiences in your years with TWIt is important. The old adage, “If we do not learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it.”, aptly applies here. 

I think as time goes by, and you take your time here to gather info, make new acquaintances, and, most importantly, continue to dialogue with the other members here about your experiences, thoughts, emotions, and psychosocial interactions during your time in TWIt, in order to effectively sort through “the good, the bad, and the ugly” of your TWIt year, will be an important beginning in your full understanding of what TWIt was, and how it affected you. Doing so will relieve any anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, or shame, which may accompany your self-reflection and your journey of self-identity. At the very least, I think GSC will provide a great launching point for your objective inquiry into the whys and whats of your involvement with a destructive, fundamentalist “Christian” cult. The very first step is overcoming that twinge of discomfort that often hits when confronting the denial which usually comes with the realization that the words, “The Way” and “a religious cult” are synonymous. 

I’m sure you will find the compassionate support and understanding so freely offered here among those of us who have made and are making the same journey you are. I bid you Godspeed in your exciting, self-determined new journey!

 

DWBH; :eusa_clap:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...
On 1/27/2019 at 11:06 PM, Volchic said:

Thanks Everyone. I appreciate the warm welcomes. I honestly have no idea how many people are left there. They keep that stuff pretty close to the vest. I can say though, that when I went WayD in '99 there were probably 50 to 60 people going out on the field from Gunnison, the West of the Mississippi group. The last WayMag I saw had pics of the folks going out and the groups were significantly smaller, as in the 5 to 10 range. Also, a development that would affect the numbers involved is the split that was the final straw for us. Yes, there has been another split up. A number of WayCorps had apparently started a group to discuss some grievances that they wanted to address to address to Rivenbark about how she was running things and how people were not seeing signs, miracles, and wonders. And the teaching from HQ had become uber stale. Ok, so I'm trying to remember and I may have some of details wrong, but this is what happened to the best of my recollection. This group began calling themselves Revival and Restoration, because their original intent was to reform TWI not leave it. I believe they first sent a letter outlining their "challenges" and solutions, and their intent to be respectful and work together with the BOD to figure it all out. I think they did call for the resignation of Rivenbark though. Anyways, Rico Magnelli, I think, had a meeting with her after the letter was sent where she summarily dismissed everything and, If my recollection is correct basically fired him. The letter was signed by some names you might know like Fort, Roberts, Moynihan, Horney, and Carter, to name a few. Anyways, this group had a list of grievances, including financial transparency, BOD accountability, and punishment of way corp for questioning Rivenbark etc. There were quite a few accusations. Anyways, our branch coordinators, whom we loved very much, were dropped in a backhanded way of just not being given an assignment. Also, the folks who had been our area coordinators for only a year, The Stiles were dropped for questioning Rivenbark.  So this group has broken off from TWI and has reformed. Last I knew they were still calling themselves Revival and Restoration. My husband and I had been eyeing the door for some time, so we took it as our opportunity to leave. I still love many people involved in both groups, but I am not interested in being a part of any of them. I've had my fill of authoritarianism. I have the letters and other emails describing what went down. Maybe I'll go back through them and refresh myself, idk.

I know some of you said you left around the time I joined, which was only a couple of years after "the fog" in 1990. When I first joined my fellowship was a very relaxed sort of hippyish deal. I smoked my first joint there, and had sex with someone in that fellowship for the first time. As time went on it became more and more controlling, and much more conservative. At one point we were instructed that it wasn't wise to go anywhere alone. Also, we were supposed to let the state leadership of any group know if we were even just traveling through their state so that we would be "spiritually covered." My husband and I, who were in our early 20's, were thoroughly reamed out at a meeting in front of everyone of course, that we attended on a trip we were taking because we hadn't let anyone know we would be in that state on our way to our destination. There was a "homo hunt" at the rock of ages in 95. Martindale became obsessed with homosexuality and in included in his version of the foundational class The Way of Abundance and Power that the thing that Eve partook of was a lesbian relationship with Satan who appeared as a woman, and Adam accepted it. (They subsequently just left that whole thing out of the foundational class they recorded after he was kicked) I often wondered if it was because of the alleged relationship between Donna and Rivenbark. When everything went down with LCM we were instructed not to look up anything to do with anything about the ministry or any of the people involved on the internet. Of course, this was to "protect us from the fiery darts of the wicked." After LCM left, everything became super boring and repetitive. Say what you will about him, but LCM was at least charismatic and entertaining. Rivenbark has a quieter gentler form of control and abuse. Over the years people tried to get us to move to HQ, but I was always struck at how robotic and fake anyone who went there came back. We actually did end up deciding to go into the way corps in 2003, and had all of our paperwork in when I ended up accidentally getting pregnant with our first child.  Thank God for that. By the time we were eligible again, my husband had decided it wasn't for him. Shortly after I found out we were pregnant we moved back to my home state because I wanted my kids to have their grandparents close, and my father was dying. I was a new mom and I was traveling the hour and a half to visit my dad as much as possible and my fellowship coordinator had the audacity to "encourage me to spend more time with the household that I was." At that point I had started to see how much the ministry had come between my family and myself and I was trying to heal those relationships. I basically told him that my father was dying and I was going to get every minute I could with him and that I would never again put the ministry before my family and he would just have to get used to it. That was the first time I ever remember standing up for myself. from there it took 14 more years to officially leave.

That's the short version of everything. It wasn't all bad, but I'm still working through things. I feel like an idiot at times for letting some of the stuff go on, or being involved with some of the things I was. For the last couple of years since leaving I have thrown myself into other things. I think I just needed some distance. After appearing on a podcast to talk about my experiences a few months ago, I have started to realize I need to work through some of this stuff now. I appreciate your listening. I'm sorry if this jumps around and is choppy. I find myself a little lost for words when it comes to some of this stuff, which is very unusual for me.

Volchic, great post!!  Thanks for the information!!:biglaugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/26/2019 at 7:15 PM, Volchic said:

Hi There,

I recently left TWI almost two years ago after being involved for 27 years. I'm still trying to unwind it all, but I do want to say that over the years I would look at the information in this group and it helped me to eventually come out of TWI. I got involved when I was 13. Met my husband at The ROA, went Way Disciple Group 5,

  I don't know how often I will be able to come here, but I would love to talk with others who have done it too. Thanks. 

Volchic, hello.  If you are willing to share this information, I would like to know why you left after 27 years. I left in 1988, after beginning in for 10 years.  Looking back, I wish I had left much sooner, than I did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/26/2019 at 9:34 PM, Rocky said:

Welcome Volchic! I'm sure you can get others to talk with here. Glad you made it. :wave:

I'm also confident that plenty of people will be interested in your perspective on what has taken place over the nearly 30 years since you first got involved with TWI.

 

Rocky, true.  I would like to know, if Volchic would like to share.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...

Thank you Volchic for sharing your story.

Sorry late to the thread.  I'm normally only on here lately to fix the site when it breaks or, as tonight, to apply a security upgrade to keep it from breaking. Happened to see this thread.  Hit a bit close to home.

Started with The Way about the same time and age.  Left when Craig got caught with his d*ck out but didn't handle it well and marriage didn't survive.  Nice to see you were able to do better than I.

It is much better being in control of your own life.  The Way only took.  Took our time, our money, our energy, our family relationships, our self-control.  They gave nothing in return.

I see they splintered again.  Not surprising.  I recognized and know most of the names you mentioned.  Only thing splinters are good for is giving people an excuse to leave.  Glad you took it.

Welcome.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On ‎11‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 6:16 PM, GT said:

It is much better being in control of your own life.  The Way only took.  Took our time, our money, our energy, our family relationships, our self-control.  They gave nothing in return.

Wow, ain't that the truth. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 weeks later...
On 1/27/2019 at 11:06 PM, Volchic said:

This group began calling themselves Revival and Restoration

Volchic, it seems you and I left close to the same time.  I know some people that were directly involved with the R&R group, and I followed them for a while.  I really had high hopes for them.  Rocky especially can attest to that.  But they aren't much different than TWI, except right now they don't have a central headquarters.  As most people here can tell you, be wary of the splinter groups.

There is tons of information here for you, and even though I'm not a gambling man I am positive and would bet that you'll be able to relate to a lot of it.

I'm happy for you for leaving.

T

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...