Cookie Recipe

[Dot Matrix]

This is from an e-mail I got awhile ago:

A little background: Neiman-Marcus, if you don't know already, is a very

expensive store; i.e., they sell your typical $8.00 T-shirt for $50.00.

Let's let them have it!

THIS IS A TRUE STORY

My daughter and I had just finished a salad at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in

Dallas, and we decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such

cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus cookie."

It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe, and the

waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not, but you can buy the

recipe."

Well, I asked how much, and she responded, "Only two fifty-it's a great

deal!" I agreed to that, and told her to just add it to my tab. Thirty days

later, I received my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge was

$285.00! I looked again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two

salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the

statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe-$250.00". That was outrageous!

I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress said it

was "two fifty", which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty

dollars" by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase.

Neiman-Marcus refused to budge. They would not refund my money because,

according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have

already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this

point." I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes

which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the

Better Business Bureau and the Texas Attorney General's office for engaging

in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of

how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money

back."I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250, and now I'm going to have

$250 worth of fun."

I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the

United States with an e-mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from

Neiman-Marcus...for free. She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this." I

said, "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you ripped me

off!" and slammed down the phone.

So here it is! Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can

possibly think of. I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to

EVER make another penny off of this recipe!

NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)

2 cups butter

24 oz.chocolate chips

4 cups flour

2 cups brown sugar

2 tsp. soda

1 tsp. salt

2 cups sugar

18 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)

5 cups blended oatmeal

4 eggs

2 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. vanilla

3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)

Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder.

Cream the butter and both sugars.

Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking

powder, and soda.

Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts.

Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.

Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.

PLEASE READ THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON

YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN E-MAIL ADDRESS!

THIS IS REALLY TERRIFIC!!

Dot Matrix

[Jim]

This is a truly ancient urban legend. I can remember my mother telling me the Waldorf-Astoria Red Velvet Cake version about 40 years ago. Here's the details.

[Steve!]

Dot, you are a wonderful person.

But this is a hoax.

It's not even that good of a cookie recipe.

[Dot Matrix]

Wow, it sounded like something I would do if I had to spend that amount of money on a recipe so I thought it to be real --

Sorry folks!!! I was duped AGAIN! First in spiritual food and now in snacks!!!

Dot Matrix

[LuckyGirl]

I must disagree. It makes wonderful cookies that everyone raves about. I made tons of them one year as christmas gifts. Everyone gobbled them up.

[washingtonweather]

Thisis a great recipe...I havemade it foryears and usedthe oatmeal flour concept in many other recipes and I learned it from this recipe.

I received it in Dallas across 1 of 22 fax machines as it was sent to all in the hospital I worked in 13 years ago in Farmers Branch...in Dallas.

I have tried MANY...Emeril's GMA's Silver Palatte, and many more....THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST!

Some things dont matter if they are urban legend or not

[This message was edited by washingtonweather on July 10, 2002 at 8:33.]

[rascal]

My 12 year old son LOVES to bake, I copied this for him, and He can`t wait to try it out!

I had read this years ago, but never bothered to copy it down, I am glad to have it now, thanks!

[Hopefull]

Dott, you can call your Visa card company and explain it, they should be able to fight it for you. That is one of the bennies of using your charge card!

[Dot Matrix]

Sorry, it was NOT my story but a story e-mailed to me -- don't know the person or why they did not do that.

But thanks for trying to help me out!!

Also Lucky, Rascal and WA weather -

Cool at least it is a good recipe even if I am on the other end of an urban legend!

I am not offened that it was pointed out it was a urban legend -- just kinda feel like -- gosh, I got fooled again!

But I am glad you guys said it was a good recipe I would hate to have posted something yucky.

Thanks everyone!

Dot Matrix

[Hopefull]

Glad it wasn't you that was screwed Dott, my mistake in not reading carefully enough!

I mentioned the story to a girl at work who sometimes brings in her homemade goodies and she asked for the recipe. When I gave it to her she was excited to get it and said to say thanks!

One quick tangent, doesn't a person have to sign the visa receipt and it would say 250?

Hopefull (who is now a COW Ambassador, as she is attempts to spread *cookies over the world* one baker at a time)

[ChasUFarley]

The cookies are the BEST!

I had a friend of mine here at work bake a batch of them for me -- I pulled a few favors for her and since I have "WILL WORK FOR CHOCOLATE" on my cubie wall, she took it seriously. Bless her!

The cookies weighed a TON and were rich, chewey, sweet - but not too sweet. Everything a good cookie should be!

Word of warning; They do burn easily, so if you have those extra thick cookie sheets - use 'em!

[Research Geek]

Tyr cutting the Vanilla in half and use Almond extract for the other half.

Vanilla accentuates the butter flavor. Almond will accentuate the chocolate flavor.

[Dot Matrix]

H- I would imagine it would have said $250.00 on it -- oh well, maybe that is why it is an urban legend -- the story is a hoax as was suggested.

Research G--

Are you really Ben Stein? You know about so many things just like he does -- So, are you? We will not tell....

Dot Matrix

[Kevlar2000]

Just wanted to say thanks, Dot. My wife tried the recipe this weekend and they came out wonderfully! Tasty, yummy, ummmmmm!

Where can we take this Cookies for Abundant Eating class?

Kevlar - Not thick, just impenetrable.

[Dot Matrix]

You are too cute!

Dot Matrix

[Research Geek]

Thanks for the compliment Dot. I'm not Ben Stein. But I wish I had Ben Stein's money...

I actually do a lot of cooking at our house. We had a recipie thread on Waydale once. I posted my recipie for "Butt Buster Chili" and the thread changed course quickly. I remember after that Sudo posted the funniest stuff about Chili. I have two other Chili recipies: Tongue Numb-er Chili and Paint Peeler Chili...

I travel a lot and try to duplicate dishes at home that I have at restaurants. Some times they are successful and sometimes they bomb, but it is still fun...

[RottieGrrrl]

I'm gonna have to try this cookie recipe. Minus the oatmeal and nuts. I don't like oatmeal and nuts. But I'm gonna wait til the weather gets cooler.

[Dot Matrix]

Okay --

I want the chilli recipe all of them!

Thanks!!!

Dot Matrix

[Littlehawk]

Dot......this is a great cookie recipe. I was a cook in the Navy...and have to agree wif RG on tha substitutin'.........Now do you have any good Banana Puddin recipe's to go along wif it. Cause it goes good wif the cookies!

[Sudo]

Geek,

You thinkin' about this little ditty??

Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity Dentist to be a judge at a chili cook-off in Texas, basically because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking

directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're a writer and known and adored by all. Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor Very mild.

SUDO: Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.

Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

SUDO: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.

Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

SUDO: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her "Sally." Probably behind her back they call her Forklift."

Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

SUDO: I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled ... it's kind of cute.

Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

SUDO: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

SUDO: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one wants to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.

Chili # 7:Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chili peppers at the last moment.

SUDO: You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at autopsy they'll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it's too late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.

Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

JUDGE ONE: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.

JUDGE TWO: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

SUDO: Is that you mama?