Oh, but don't we have ourselves some potty mouths around here? Reading Ex's post made me think of this little ditty... the fact that it technically doesn't contain vulgarity is what makes it funny..
WHO IS JACK SCHITT???
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable thoughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.
So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!
Re:"Now you can hear at least four of those words every week on "South Park."
I watched South Park only one time and was pretty disgusted. I'd a thought you could hear every one of the seven. Call me a prude but the general level of vulgarity that surrounds us furthers the coarsening of our culture, IMO. And TWI encouraged the most vile language. Even the women used the "F" word with careless abandon.
sudo
[This message was edited by Sudo on June 19, 2002 at 9:04.]
Sorry but I don't see the humor. I remember when I was in elementary and junior high school that we would all laugh at vulgar words. But when we grew up most of us realized that we laughed because we thought it was "naughty" but ultimately lower class. Hence the name "vulgar".
It's more likely to be found funny than not because certain principles of humor are employed.
The contrast between the vulgar subject matter, and the documentary style, not to mention Vivaldi's sound-track makes the shock of the narration all the more "humorous."
Had it been delivered by a familiar low-life to the tune of the latest Parental Advisory-labeled pop music, the narration would be predictable and boring. A cliche upon a cliche.
Though I tend to avoid profanity most of the time, and consider it a crutch for the linguistically crippled, there are times when it is not only appropriate but the preferable choice. Sad to say, profanity is now the lingua franca of a generation or three. The truth of the narrative is self-evident.
In other words, even for contemporary humor it was shallow and crass, but pretty f*ckin' funny, even so.
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f**k".
It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language,"f**k falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John f**ked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was f**ked by John).
It can be an action verb (John really gives a f**k), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a f**k), an adverb (Mary is f**king interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific f**k).
It can also be used as an adjective(Mary is f**king beautiful) or an interjection (F**k! I'm late for my date with Mary).
It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, f**k she's also stupid).
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "f**k".
Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1. Greetings "How the f**k are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got f**ked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, f**k it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm f**ked now."
5. Aggression ".... YOU!"
6. Disgust "F**k me."
7. Confusion "What the f**k.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand this f**king business!"
9. Despair "F**ked again..."
10. Pleasure "I f**king couldn't be happier."
11. Displeasure "What the f**k is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the f**k are we."
13. Disbelief "UN....INGBELIEVABLE!"
14. Retaliation "Up your f**king foot!"
15. Denial "I didn't f**king do it."
16. Perplexity "I know f**k all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a f**k, anyhow?"
18. Greetings "How the f**k are ya?"
19. Suspicion "Who the f**k are you?"
20. Panic "Let's get the f**k out of here."
21. Directions "F**k off."
22. Disbelief "How the f**k did you do that?"
It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a f**king ....."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five f**king thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this f**king job?"
It can be maternal- "Motherf**ker."
It can be political- "F**k Dan Quayle!"
It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the f**k was that?"
Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where did all these f**king Indians come from?"
General Custer
"Where the f**k is all this water coming from?"
Captain of the Titanic
"That's not a real f**king gun."
John Lennon
"Who's gonna f**king find out?"
Richard Nixon
"I did *NOT* f**k her!"
Bill Clinton
"Heads are going to f**king roll."
Anne Boleyn
"It's someone's 100th f**king birthday today!"
Willard Scott
"Any f**king idiot could understand that."
Albert Einstein
"It does so f**king look like her!"
Picasso
"How the f**k did you work that out?"
Pythagoras
"You want what on the f**king ceiling?"
Michaelangelo
"You say they're free?? F**k yeah... let me have ten of them!"
Moses
"F**k a duck."
Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its f**king there!"
Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna f**king rain?"
Joan of Arc
"She wants how much f**king money?!?!?"
Donald Trump
"Look! Almost every f**king kernel popped!"
Orville Reddenbacher
"We'll f**king smoke those f**kers out of their f**king caves!"
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (****). We are trying to give employees more **** than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of **** on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the **** list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the **** you can handle.
Employees who do not take their **** will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (DEEPdang) Those who fail to take DEEPdang seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (EATdang).
Since our managers took **** before they were promoted, they do not have to do **** anymore, as they are all full of **** already.
If you are full of ****, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (....) Those who are full of .... will get the **** jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (DIPdang)
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (HOTdang)
Recommended Posts
excathedra
i don't give a dang
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Ron G.
No dang, Satori??
Ron G.
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excathedra
sherlock
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excathedra
jack dang
has he joined our tribe yet ?
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Dexter
Frankly my dear.. I don't give a dang.
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excathedra
is anyone copying or archiving this dang ?
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AdiosMiCorazon
If they did they would be dang out of luck!
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Sudo
Oh, but don't we have ourselves some potty mouths around here? Reading Ex's post made me think of this little ditty... the fact that it technically doesn't contain vulgarity is what makes it funny..
WHO IS JACK SCHITT???
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable thoughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.
So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!
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AdiosMiCorazon
Thanks Sudo that was very educational.
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Waygone
Actually - it is my opinion that dang can't hold a candle to the "f" word. The "f" word can hold every grammatical position in a sentence.
Perhaps we could even get the great LCM to visit our humble websight and he could diagram a few sentences for us....
Waygone
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Pirate1974
George Carlin first did his routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" in 1973.
Now you can hear at least four of those words every week on "South Park."
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Sudo
Pirate,
Re:"Now you can hear at least four of those words every week on "South Park."
I watched South Park only one time and was pretty disgusted. I'd a thought you could hear every one of the seven. Call me a prude but the general level of vulgarity that surrounds us furthers the coarsening of our culture, IMO. And TWI encouraged the most vile language. Even the women used the "F" word with careless abandon.
[This message was edited by Sudo on June 19, 2002 at 9:04.]
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Hope R.
Okay - It worked! It's a download. Make sure your kids aren't around.
Waygone - you must have heard this before!!!
Click THIS
[This message was edited by Hope R. on June 19, 2002 at 11:27.]
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Sudo
Hope,
Re:"Make sure your kids aren't around."
Sorry but I don't see the humor. I remember when I was in elementary and junior high school that we would all laugh at vulgar words. But when we grew up most of us realized that we laughed because we thought it was "naughty" but ultimately lower class. Hence the name "vulgar".
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AdiosMiCorazon
Was that a STS tape? Was that a mog? the mog?
Schitt!
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satori
sudo,
It's more likely to be found funny than not because certain principles of humor are employed.
The contrast between the vulgar subject matter, and the documentary style, not to mention Vivaldi's sound-track makes the shock of the narration all the more "humorous."
Had it been delivered by a familiar low-life to the tune of the latest Parental Advisory-labeled pop music, the narration would be predictable and boring. A cliche upon a cliche.
Though I tend to avoid profanity most of the time, and consider it a crutch for the linguistically crippled, there are times when it is not only appropriate but the preferable choice. Sad to say, profanity is now the lingua franca of a generation or three. The truth of the narrative is self-evident.
In other words, even for contemporary humor it was shallow and crass, but pretty f*ckin' funny, even so.
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Steve!
T H E "F" - W O R D S T Y L E G U I D E
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f**k".
It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language,"f**k falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John f**ked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was f**ked by John).
It can be an action verb (John really gives a f**k), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a f**k), an adverb (Mary is f**king interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific f**k).
It can also be used as an adjective(Mary is f**king beautiful) or an interjection (F**k! I'm late for my date with Mary).
It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, f**k she's also stupid).
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "f**k".
Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1. Greetings "How the f**k are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got f**ked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, f**k it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm f**ked now."
5. Aggression ".... YOU!"
6. Disgust "F**k me."
7. Confusion "What the f**k.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand this f**king business!"
9. Despair "F**ked again..."
10. Pleasure "I f**king couldn't be happier."
11. Displeasure "What the f**k is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the f**k are we."
13. Disbelief "UN....INGBELIEVABLE!"
14. Retaliation "Up your f**king foot!"
15. Denial "I didn't f**king do it."
16. Perplexity "I know f**k all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a f**k, anyhow?"
18. Greetings "How the f**k are ya?"
19. Suspicion "Who the f**k are you?"
20. Panic "Let's get the f**k out of here."
21. Directions "F**k off."
22. Disbelief "How the f**k did you do that?"
It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a f**king ....."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five f**king thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this f**king job?"
It can be maternal- "Motherf**ker."
It can be political- "F**k Dan Quayle!"
It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the f**k was that?"
Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where did all these f**king Indians come from?"
General Custer
"Where the f**k is all this water coming from?"
Captain of the Titanic
"That's not a real f**king gun."
John Lennon
"Who's gonna f**king find out?"
Richard Nixon
"I did *NOT* f**k her!"
Bill Clinton
"Heads are going to f**king roll."
Anne Boleyn
"It's someone's 100th f**king birthday today!"
Willard Scott
"Any f**king idiot could understand that."
Albert Einstein
"It does so f**king look like her!"
Picasso
"How the f**k did you work that out?"
Pythagoras
"You want what on the f**king ceiling?"
Michaelangelo
"You say they're free?? F**k yeah... let me have ten of them!"
Moses
"F**k a duck."
Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its f**king there!"
Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna f**king rain?"
Joan of Arc
"She wants how much f**king money?!?!?"
Donald Trump
"Look! Almost every f**king kernel popped!"
Orville Reddenbacher
"We'll f**king smoke those f**kers out of their f**king caves!"
George W. Bush
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Invader Zim a.k.a Angry Monkey
quit flicking me schitt!!
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excathedra
gingie lange
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
crimes of the heart cursewords
worse crimes editing
love, sissy
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Pirate1974
Anybody want some Chinese today?
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krys
Corporate Memorandum
To: All Staff
Subject: Special High Intensity Training
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (****). We are trying to give employees more **** than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of **** on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the **** list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the **** you can handle.
Employees who do not take their **** will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (DEEPdang) Those who fail to take DEEPdang seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (EATdang).
Since our managers took **** before they were promoted, they do not have to do **** anymore, as they are all full of **** already.
If you are full of ****, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (....) Those who are full of .... will get the **** jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (DIPdang)
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (HOTdang)
Thank you,
Boss in General
(BIGdang)
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TheSongRemainsTheSame
"Whoa... You just stepped in a big pile of Sh!t."
... "It Happens." ... F. Gump
Would love to see Red Skelton & Lenny Bruce do a duo hosting Saturday Night Live!!!!!!!
Fukn A
Rokk On
I know Heathcliff & Jack Schitt & F. Gump
(is that an attorney farm?)
[This message was edited by TheSongRemainsTheSame on June 29, 2002 at 14:45.]
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