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THE "It ... just ... won't ... die..."


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I started off faithfully hitchhiking to Cape Odd, Massatwocents, where I had hoped to see Wacky. Unfortunately, she was on a spiritual quest in the Blue Rides Mountain Theme Parks of North and/or South Carolina.

Sad at having missed her, I stepped abored my brand new original ancestral Viking raiding schooner. In order to be politically correct and culturally diverse, I staffed my viking raider with spics, micks,chinks, wops, kikes, dykes, pygmy's, raghead terrorists and (gasp) a Presbyterian.

(Plots was unavailable but we shanghaied some guy from a pew.)

However since they were to be vikings, I required them to become blondes.

We then headed west out across the vast uncharted icecube filled, stormswept northern Carribean. Following the north star sapphire, I finally came upon the frozen arctic aurora borealis incrusted fjords of northern Albania.

Once there, I met with a Punjabi shaman of Swahili heritage who took me to a Sioux sweat lodge to find THE in a vision quest. (Little did he know I had already had my eyes checked by an optometrist, hee hee.)

Not finding THE there, I moved eastward to the low plains of Kilimanjaro and in among the wild men of the Borneo tribe who still haven't heard the word because we sent our WOW's to Amarillo, They had no clue about THE but wild men that they were, they sure knew how to paarr-teeey.

I ended up losing most of my crew there.

Leaving there I trekked southwest thru the great western Sequoia forests of the Tibetan Himalayas with my Yeti guides. I must say the smells were so overpowering they knocked out the rest of my viking crew, but it sure did remind my of my Neanderthal youth.

Ah, good memories.

Now,

where was I?

Way II much fun for one man.

love,

Bob Hansen

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The Dali LaMans race had been enjoyable but THE was not to be found in Tibet.

From Nepal, I hitched a ride on a tramp dhow to the Spice Girl Islands where I hired on as a great white hunter on a Chinese Junk to Hong Kong. Arriving thence, I was able to get a courier job smuggling a maltese falcon.

Dressed in a white linen suit with matching fedora, I booked a flight on a Pan Am flying boat to the USA via the Philipines, Midway, and Hawaii. It was good to fly under the Golden Gate Bridge into San Fran.

When I attempted to make delivery, I met some of the wierdest people you could ever hope to meet. Boy, you could'a made a movie out'a that.

Having not found THE, I decided to head back too THE mountain to review THE Sacred Theads and caught a train back to Ohia. The boxcar I chose was wonderful as there were at least a dozen tramps in there and they reminded me in many ways of my Neanderthal kinfolks.

So there I was, back in my spurtual home at the base of THE mountain in west central Ohio. As I sloshed my poor tired feet in the pools of THE Fountain of Living Guinness, pondering the travels of the last few weeks.

Way II much fun for one man.

love,

Bob Hansen

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My life is now complete, my dreams fulfilled, for only now can I "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" for I have been given a heart, brain, courage and a home; survived the poppy fields; seen the horse of a different color; liquidated the witch of west Ohio; danced with the lollipop guild; clicked my heels together 3 times and went back to Ohio, but my city was was gone, the farm in West Ohio was replaced by a shopping mall (we can only hope) and music filled the air from Sidney to Cuyahoga Falls!!!

One THE to rule them all, one THE to bind them, one THE to bring them all and in the darkness find them.....

I have now found the true THE of power and my life is complete. I therefore bow before the great and powerful THE!!!

[This message was edited by wasway on August 30, 2002 at 18:58.]

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Dabobbada, I keep missing you by a post or 2! Come now, you need to show me your cave. I've not seen the new one yet!

Come on, big boy! I haven't had a decent hair pulling in so long I can hardly remember. I've followed you around the globe just for a glimpse of you and one wiff of your snarled beard.

I have a yak roast! And I promise, I will not drink all your Guinnes again! Just a wee sip now and then.

inlove.gif

[This message was edited by dabobbada's wench on September 01, 2002 at 6:49.]

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By thy own words, thou shewest thyself to be of goodly mind and soul to be a true beleiver of the one and only THE. Though Klumbis has it's own Gahanna, know truly that Cuyahoga Falls is THE real hail on earth.

Both THE and I welcome you to THE frock. THE would be here to welcome you too, but, ......umm, has been detained temporarily ........ elsewhere.

But know this, THE is pleased with you, oh true b'liever. Welcome to THE.Q. Don't pay any attention to the guy taking a leak behind the bush next THE flounder's house.

Thus saith dapropheta

Way II much fun for one man.

love,

Bob Hansen

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Know All ye this, that the Kingdom of THE certainly and greatly excedes the power of the kindom of Nye and its ruler ArtBell, and thus is truly all powerful. To you great THE, and before all by these presents, I hereby and hereon offer you my sword, and all its varied powers, to use as ye see fit in thy continuous crusade againts the evil one of West Ohio. Know ye further that the tiny twig of the rotting tree in which I sought refuse and safety, domiciled itself within the walls of the great Gahanna of Klumbis; Thus, I hereby swear on my oath that I shall never allow my feet to touch its soured earth (except to go to the Gahanna Grill and Tavern, or the 94th aero squadron (2 great bars)).

and to bind this oath I give ye my eyeeyeone.gif

[

[This message was edited by wasway on September 01, 2002 at 21:04.]

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My palm Pilot has told me to one again make a pilgramige to and pay homage to THE great and powerful wicked wizardess of west Ohio. To Insure that THE thread shall remain eternal, my palm pilot has scheduled me to return here on this day each month until 2112 when the priests of the temple will return with THE coveted Les Paul Guitar, and repopulate THE earth.

all hail THE salami.gifsalami.gif

eyecrazy.gif

Aliquando et insanire iucundum est.

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The Honored Keeper of THE beat, and chief Scribe of THE band. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa (pounding chest 3 times) I beg forgiveness for my oversite,and humbly accept any reproof THE shall demand.

Actually several years ago I worked with a gentleman named Peart who claimed to be THE Uncle of Neal, but could never get tickets when THEy were in town, so I was never quite sure.

Sim Sala THE salami.gifsalami.gif

Aliquando et insanire iucundum est.

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