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Raised in The Way


BluzieQ
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rascal,

I honestly think that many people got into to twi with attitudes/thought processes already in place...and twi simply convinced them that 'god' allegedly gave 'his' permission and nod of approval for such things.

This guy's 51yo...? Well, that's about right for that mentality in most people...regardless of twi involvement.

Believe it or not, there are women who think just like this! It was part of that generation.

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Johniam

Iagree with you , kind of, it is true many do agree with your mindset.

It is called racism.

I was raised on a farm all white country never exposed to minoriities, rural red neck good old country boys and girls.

I never saw racisim or really understood why we needed LAWS to protect and give additional rights to folks of a differt color skin.

I know where your coming from. it is a decent hard working good citizen why type of thinking.

then I went to college for social work.

I did many decades of volunteer and paid work for many different agencys that support the needy .

on the tax payers dime.

most are minoritys makes ya wonder why right?

look at the decay of our cities, many minorities are stuck in a culture they can not escape. Why?

again it very well be a mindset.

BUT, here is the thing.. God may not be a respector of people BUT johniam people are definetly a respector of people and of culture and of conditions.

I went through this as a christian , who joined a jewish community center on a very personal level.

and minorities are even worse.

if your mama was a single parent and your gramma was single and no daddy has been seen in your community for decades and welfare has supported your family all of your life .

how do ya change? everything you have ever known?

well if ya think it is easy then try to change your own mindset on how they are given more advantages than the white man.

cant really do it can ya?

I understand it is a dificult thing to change.

for you and them.

WE have laws and helps and enablements because CLEARLY they are disadvantaged.

look at the numbers and the reality of how life is different.

the drop out rate in the inner city schools is OVER forty percent. over 60% of black families have a single head of household mostly the mom or gramma , drugs are invading and killing whole communities where people do not dare to step out of their house day or night time.

The highest population at risk for getting HIV infection is black women, today. it far surpasses the gay population.

These are just some of the facts.

YOU want to trade places?

You can chose to stay in your ivory tower, and not see this I did for many years and many of my mostly rural families still does and they are afraid of a different color skin, or an accent.

or you can go look at the problems and issues minoritys face, and trade place even for a day or a week.

then spew your cry of injustice.

but untill then get informed on why we have programs and helps and laws to stop the insanity of just how America operates, when it comes to the rich and the poor or the color of your skin.

true God is God and He loves us all, but we do not all love one another well enough in this country to stop how reality is.

somone has to do something.

so I agree with you MANY do feel the exact same way you do in this land of the free... and it sucks and many are still suffering for it.

just not who you think .

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Wasn't Thelma and Louise brought to us by the same people who gave us "Alien Women from Outer Space" back in the 1950"s?

Where was I when all this Cr@p was happening? was I so Nai've that I just couldn't see it?

There has been so much hurt caused by a few. I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and heal every heart out there.

Ya know, I've been reading this thread and I really think its time for this discussion to end. Everything is getting beyond wierd into the Psycho category.

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As far as the violence and girl boy stuff.

this is simple if ya hit someone as a grown up you go to jail.

boy girl no difference.

I had a very mild mellow son, who wouldnt pick up a dead fly when he was small without screaming in pain, then I had a girl who would bite and slap at the smallest irritation.

In this mama's world although she wieghed less then twenty lbs. with only four baby teeth that could bite and he was over 70 lbs and two feet taller it was the baby girl who went to "jail "till she could get a grip on how to treat other people.

I never taught my sons to be macho or to "take care of a bully" I taught them self control and the ability to cry when it hurt.

In the mans world I have a fine son who can get along with any person and has never once been in a fight, and a girl who is still rather high strung but is able to pull her self back in time to reflect on how she can handle a situation better, than lashing out at someone.

johniam the only way to "take care of a bully" is to report them to the authorities so they can help with their own personal anger issues, or get the hell away from them.

or fight and join in the game and call your own problems righteous in some type of sick denial . what? is that like He started it first? grow up. does it really matter who is who when inappropriate behaviour is involved?

the handcuffs come in all sizes, and the stun guns used to persuade one to change their minds can hit girl or boy, as they should.

As far as emotional toll again how one effects You is YOUR responsibility to handle and take care of, no one eles can handle your own rage or emotions for you.

boys like girls and girls like boys in a normal world. when it gets as complicated as you seem to feel it is between them, something is WRONG and you might want to investigate why on a very personal level.

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As far as the violence and girl boy stuff.

this is simple if ya hit someone as a grown up you go to jail.

boy girl no difference.

I had a very mild mellow son, who wouldnt pick up a dead fly when he was small without screaming in pain, then I had a girl who would bite and slap at the smallest irritation.

In this mama's world although she wieghed less then twenty lbs. with only four baby teeth that could bite and he was over 70 lbs and two feet taller it was the baby girl who went to "jail "till she could get a grip on how to treat other people.

I never taught my sons to be macho or to "take care of a bully" I taught them self control and the ability to cry when it hurt.

In the mans world I have a fine son who can get along with any person and has never once been in a fight, and a girl who is still rather high strung but is able to pull her self back in time to reflect on how she can handle a situation better, than lashing out at someone.

johniam the only way to "take care of a bully" is to report them to the authorities so they can help with their own personal anger issues, or get the hell away from them.

or fight and

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quote:
Originally posted by Tom Strange:

c'mon CW... don't paint us all with such a broad brush... that's not fair...

Dangit, Tom! I'm in a broad brush mood! Leave me 'lone!

wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)--> wink2.gif;)-->

(All those winks mean I'm teasin' wid ya.)

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Will you feel any different if someday your future son in law or daughters boy friend ever decides that she *deserves to be clocked* or your daughter in law shows up to a family dinner sporting a well earned shiner?

I can't comfortably answer that question. Two weeks after we moved here my daughter got suspended from school for 2 days because she retaliated when 2 other girls picked a fight with her. I told her teacher..."I'm a guy! When you talk about someone hitting my baby I want to knock heads together and ask questions later. For that reason, I defer judgement to my wife in situations like this."

My daughter has not had a similar incident since then (5 yrs). Those same 2 girls got in trouble again later the same year. As a father, I can't be objective about that.

What if your son as a male feels his mother or sister as overly emotional females deserve to be struck?

Better not do it around me.

Do you think that our daughters as females need to be clocked more than their male brothers?

Probably the opposite. When I was in elementary school, routinely there would be fights on the playground where somebody mouthed off inappropriately and got struck for it, and it was OVER. The teachers NEVER found out. Kids can police themselves to a point. But no girls were ever part of that. Men have a natural brute strength that girls don't, therefore they (men) are more likely to be involved in physical problem solving situations including rough play. Hitting a woman is EXTREME!!!!!! VERY EXTREME!!!!!! OK? Yes, SOMETIMES I believe there are incidents where the best problem solving would be to do that. But it's always going to be risky. Making a zero tolerance type rule where you NEVER EVER EVER hit a woman is going to make it easy for SOME women to be predatory; they know that most men won't dare touch them so they take advantage and take advantage and just keep on going. THOSE women deserve to get clocked. That's what I'm saying and that's what Paul Newman and Clint Eastwood are saying by having those scenes in their movies. But it's still ALWAYS going to be very illegal. Every man knows that. If you're a man and you hit a woman, you'd better be mentally prepared to go to jail.

Does their gender make them more unstable or is it something that occurs after marriage? Due to their volatile nature do they need someone else to stand in to administer the blows when merited untill they have a spouse to keep em in line??

You don't have to be married to be a predator, and you don't have to be married to avoid being one.

Is this a mindset that we can attribute to twi teaching or you have felt this way prior to your envolvement?

I don't know. Too long ago.

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ok, thanks for trying to answere my questions John.

I ask because when I was in twi, I really didn`t think very different than what you stated.

I am trying to figure out why/where I got the idea that if I was hit, it was because I deserved it. (not that my spouse ever subcribed to this thank God).

I am trying to figure out where I picked up this mindset, and when I changed my thinking.

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quote:
YOU want to trade places?

You can chose to stay in your ivory tower, and not see this I did for many years and many of my mostly rural families still does and they are afraid of a different color skin, or an accent.

or you can go look at the problems and issues minoritys face, and trade place even for a day or a week.

then spew your cry of injustice.

Ivory tower? I don't even own a piano. You're right. If I had to live or spend a lot of time around minorities where they live I'd have to adjust my attitude, but I know for a fact that black people HATE it when white people act like they care when they really don't. They also RESPECT white people who stand up to them. They call it "keeping it real"!

There's a lot of peer pressure on blacks to not get too buddy buddy with white people. It really is a frustrating situation, but if I see people being prejudiced against me for WHATEVER reason, then why shouldn't I express my displeasure?

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they call it "keeping it real".

WOW what a racist statement.

Im white I like "keeping it real".

I respect people who"stand up to me" In this statement do you mean to be honest and genuine and confident enough to hold on to your own convictions, regardless of what the majority may believe about ya?

yeah I would say that is true of any person who has been oppressed or held back with lies and perceptions that are not true.

not a black thing a sane person thing.

ya know white people have mindsets and a culture I have issues with, namely in context, being fake to keep the neighbor pleased with your appearance regardless of what may be going on in reality in the inside door.

a general disrespect for those they do not understand, and a very strong unwillingness to change the status ..

I have lived in both worlds, I read the bible to say to esteem to folks of "low estate" and I understand the reason to be is because they "keep it real" more often than one with a life filled with the distractions of keeping the world happy in spite of who they are. or who the world says they must be.

family, friends compassion, and empathy with genuine giving flows easier from hearts with less to compete with.

to me they are the only real things I have.

honestly if a black man is walking around a all white neighborhood at night a million cops will be called.

for a reason? a stranger in the midst, he doesnt belong, he is up to no good, nothing to do with racisim you cry..

a white man shows up in the evening walking the inner city streets, he gets jumped and hurt OH those insane black folks you say , or is because they have the same wish for safety for their turf, their space as you but know better than to call the cops who do not want to get out of their cars, if they even bother to show up a few HOURS later. what is the difference?

the difference is MONEY and respect for who you are because of the color of your skin and the size of your house and your address.

racisim is very deep in America.

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JOHN

what don't you understand that violence of any kind is not ok

remember"turn the other cheek"

i think it is people with mind sets like yours that are ****ing up the whole wolrd.

if it's ok to clock your wife or husband it must be ok to bomb and to destroy other countries we don't like too please hit the wall or go for a walk . leave the bully babbling

don't bring yourself down to his low position.

john run don't walk to an anger management class

if not for you then for those around you before you hurt someone

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quote:
Originally posted by johniam:

Diazbro: Mr. self righteous, self appointed race police/social worker. Just one more thing for you: There are a LOT of white people who share my feelings. Believe it. And the scary thing about it is that I'm not talking about wackos who stockpile automatic weapons or who join the KKK, Nazis, or skinheads or any of those other idiot groups out there. No. I'm talking about regular people like me (families, jobs, church, etc.) who are simply SICK of the stench of racial/sexist double standards that get dumped on us every day. You say I'm "priviledged"? What utter crap. God is no respecter of persons. There is no access to God that *I* have that you don't also have and if that's not good enough for you then you are 'chasing your tail' spiritually speaking. Like jack in the box says...enjoy your hole!

You don't respond to anything I've said about God and spiritual matters. What's up with that?

Spiritual matters ? Its rather pointless to discuss spirituality since you lack even a minimial amount of respect for other humans which is characteristic of the so called christian who thinks his "special" relationship with god entitles him to disparage others and

engage in self-serving behavior. It is tempting

to call you a bible bigot but you are not even in touch with that book preferring the "reality" given to you by TWI as a valid substitute for "God's Will". But you have managed to one up even Craig in youself-absorbed "spiritual" drivel.

John you are a true embarrasment to christians who do have concern for themselves, others, and their community. But your "community" ,all ONE of them (that would be you), is uniquely concerned about protecting yourself from well whatever it is you feel like whining about on a given day. Thats some platform for personal power and advancement. And if it came down to it you would turn on lower class whites if they voiced concerns about discrimination.

quote:

There are a LOT of white people who share my feelings. Believe it. And the scary thing about it is that I'm not talking about wackos who stockpile automatic weapons or who join the KKK, Nazis, or skinheads or any of those other idiot groups out there.

Don't pretend to speak for others as we both know you don't. You can't get an audience in your daily life so you come here with this crap. If someone was listening to you then you wouldn't be trying to pass your message of intolerance and disrespect here. Its interesting that you have to define yourself as NOT being something. Thats a typical sign on weakness. Your whole stance is a reaction to a perceived loss of (white) power in this society and how that might impact *you*. You can't say who you are or what it is you want but you can say who you are NOT and what you DONT want. Thats weak on every level since you are allowing something else to establish your identity.

And its as if all you are discussing wasn't there until you became afraid (and you are terribly afraid) that minorities might "get some of what you got" and that would somehow diminish your existence. How selfish and infantile can you be ? Institutionalized slavery was around for a couple of hundred years and Jim Crow

laws for about a century and you want to whine about how some black guy looked at you funny as if thats even comparable.

Its also telling that you immediately speak of the "KKK,nazis, and skinheads" as opposed to some biblical reference or great social figure who feels the same as you do. Could it be that you have more in common with the KKK than you do with mainstream christian religion ? You were the one who brought up those groups. But even so. I can respect the skinhead ,if such a thing is possible, since they put it out there everytime they shave their heads and wear their swastikas - They don't like a person because they aren't white and they'll let you know that.

They are scum to be sure but at least you know with whom you are dealing.

But you are the closeted type who

is afraid to publicly voice his "opinions" preferring the safety of personal conversations and posting on anonymous internet forums like Gpsot. I challenged you to write letters to your local newspaper but you won't because you dont' have the courage of your convictions. But we both know that don't we. All this anger and venom is a mask for insecurity which also relates to this:

The fact that you think God sanctions violence against women based on biological grounds is because you feel powerless in your own life so your cathartic solution is to take advantage of those physically weaker than yourself. Thats pathetic. You aren't happy with yourself so you think its fine for yourself and others to "clock" women ? (Because Paul Newman did it in a movie !!). Thats sick, vile, and against the law as it should be.

Anyone who advocates violence against women as a valid and godly substitute for communication is whacked. By your logic God made some men bigger than other men who might in fact take issue with the men who beat up on women. Or maybe because God made some guys bigger than others then they should go around "clocking" them just to set them straight ? Some "wifebeater theory" you got there. It doesn't even make sense on any level.

john said:

quote:

And the scary thing about it is that I'm not talking about wackos.......

The "Scary" thing is that you are talking at all about "clocking" women as if you hope to garner support for your criminal (its againt the law) view point. But violence is not the answer but lets be frank you aren't even prepared for that. You are at a point in your life where ,based on your statements that you feel powerless and unable to respond to some set of problems so you try to forge a deal with God (or maybe the devil) in the hopes he will sanction and indulge your selfish behavior but he won't. You are just fooling yourself. Its been said before.. get help and get it soon....

Edited by diazbro
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no man or women deserves to be "clocked".

I do know what your talking about tho..

As a single women I am a strong women , my life has had alot of trials, I am a strong independent woman.

when problems happen with male or female I have always been single and alone.

In the other world of some women they are not strong enough or allowed or something (cant say I understand it completely) so they will and do sic their male husband or boss or lover or hand dandy male to clean up their mess and to get pushy and threaten physical abuse.

I have seen it often. it doesnt impress me, it just takes my belt one hole tighter and I have another go.

I will say this a man who does a woman bidding in a situation not his own is a very weak man, and they shut up and down very quick, when faced with a woman like me.

I frighten the hell right out of them. they seem to be used to have to rescue the girls I guess, and feeling very powerful and fed in the rescue.

this validates the roles Society sometimes wants, from females and males . It is rarely seen in minoritiy families.

it is abuse in and off itself. To me those type of women are preditors, they cause alot of pain and get off smelling like a innocent weak woman, and the man feels his manhood and purpose.

it is insanity. It is not Gods role for women in the church or in life, the bible is filled with woman who are leaders are strong and single parents.

it is a partnership based on listening to Gods will for each individual for the better of the union, not a whos worth more to ya Lord situation, Jesus confronted these mind sets with his disciples and said clearly it is wrong thinking patterns.

but our culture does not want to have strong woman, both male and female buy into the games people play for power and prestige in relationships.

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Lets see here. This is a thread about being raised in the way and the beauty of Domestic Violence. Yea I can see were these two topics belong with each other.

We're suppose to start with wooden spoons on the butts of our babies then the back of our hands on our wives......

ahh the role of being head of the household (That of course is the little head)

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I do not understand this.

"let her have her way"

Is the lady a grown up able to make choices in her life?

yeah I guess I would say Let her have her way, because I do not understand any other way to treat a responsible adult one claims to love.

I am assuming mutual respect and caring for the well being of one another in a healthy marriage.

people fight about stupid things, money, who cleans the house how to raise the kids etc. I think good communication is key in a marriage and a tone of compromise is needed.

I do suppose that is why a 58% divorce rate is going on in america tho, because folks would rather hold on to the other things between couples instead of loving and caring and putting one another welfare first and foremost.

to me I look at how important is the issue when at a stalemate.

ya have to reach a place where you trust one another with your own life . get along agree to discuss untill a solution is found that works for everyone.

I do not think control over another even plays a role in a marriage, but it often does and that is why it often ends.

lol. I am single been single will continue to be single tho so this is kind of like the folks who never had kids telling parents how to do it right.

I know Im far to selfish to be married now, unless it was also a very independent person who really loves me.

I see so very few happy marriages, I sometimes think it is because IM single so they share with me the rough and bad parts like I should understand better or something.

I do not. it just makes me happy im not into it.

when I here a man or a woman say something like"my husband or wife wont let me" I do not get it.

I think adults should treat adults like adults and allow them to live a life that includes mistakes and failures and glory and reward, without the rescue tendency of co-dependancy.

I want to share my life with those I love not take on someone eles role in this world they think I should take.

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