Oh, but you do want to know!!! But I'm not telling. I wouldn't want to ruin whatever Ted has in store for you.
LG the quote is from Wafer Not, not me, unless you were referring to another Ted. Should I be worried? Is there something here that somebody isn't telling me? HELP!!!! :o :o
At a bar-b-q place nearby, they have a poster on the wall; it has a pic of a cute little piggy and the inscription "All men are NOT pigs.... Pigs are sensitive, cute and caring creatures."
Chicken wings & beer vs. a naked woman; a classic example of the Bergman's foot Theory. This theory states that if you place a bale of hay 3 feet from a donkey's left eye and another one 3 feet from its right eye, the donkey would starve to death, because it wouldn't be able to make up its mind which one to go to, as each bale was the same distance away.
I wouldn't want to lay THAT at the feet of the Apostle Paul ...
Adam wakes up and sees Eve for the first time. He asks, "God, who is that?" He replies, "Eve, I made her as a help mate for you."
Adam: "God what do I do with her?"
God: "Give her a hug."
Adam: "God, what's a hug?" God explains, Adams does as explained, and says, "God, that was great! What do I do next?"
God: "Give her a kiss."
Adam: "God, what's a kiss?" God explains, Adam follows his directions, and says, "Now that was fantastic! What do I do next?"
God: "Make love to her."
Adam: "God, what's make love?" God explains, so Adam goes to Eve to enjoy this experience. He returns rather quickly and asks, "God, what is a headache?"
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moony3424
Ted,
You taking notes. I am (especially the part about the chicken).
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topoftheworld
Men are so easy.
Don't forget the recliner and the remote.
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
nobody mentioned
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ex70sHouston
Its bad when even my wife laughs at this.
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Nottawayfer
What in the world does a man do with a naked woman and chicken wings AT THE SAME TIME?????
Maybe I don't want to know!!! eeeeeeekkkk!
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GarthP2000
Whatever he does, DO NOT say that the woman's legs contain more FAT than the chicken legs.
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socks
Is that with or without a quart of barbecue sauce?
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moony3424
You are speaking of the chicken wings, right Socks.
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LG
Oh, but you do want to know!!! But I'm not telling. I wouldn't want to ruin whatever Ted has in store for you.
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moony3424
LG the quote is from Wafer Not, not me, unless you were referring to another Ted.
Should I be worried? 
Is there something here that somebody isn't telling me? HELP!!!! :o :o
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socks
Uh.
Yeah.
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ex70sHouston
Me, personally I prefer whip cream and strawberries
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tomtuttle1
At a bar-b-q place nearby, they have a poster on the wall; it has a pic of a cute little piggy and the inscription "All men are NOT pigs.... Pigs are sensitive, cute and caring creatures."
Chicken wings & beer vs. a naked woman; a classic example of the Bergman's foot Theory. This theory states that if you place a bale of hay 3 feet from a donkey's left eye and another one 3 feet from its right eye, the donkey would starve to death, because it wouldn't be able to make up its mind which one to go to, as each bale was the same distance away.
I wouldn't want to lay THAT at the feet of the Apostle Paul ...
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ex70sHouston
TT I would agree if you said a horse. A donkey or mule is smarter than that.
Now if it was a man. Well he would go to the side with the biggest ...........
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Sudo
Rules for a happy man
and strangely enough all require the assistance or presence of a woman.
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
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Nottawayfer
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Sudo
Wayfernot,
Yeah.. I just thought it was funny... and I'm one of those one-gal-at-a-time kind of guys, too.
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Sushi
At least, not if he wants her to STAY naked.
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Nottawayfer
Sudo,
I didn't think you were that way...:)
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johniam
DAY 1
God: Adam, I've made a helpmeet for you. Her name is Eve. That's her right there.
Adam: Wow! Not bad. How come you made her so pretty?
God: So you'd be attracted to her.
DAY 2
Adam: (walks right up next to her; smells her) God, how come you made her smell so good?
God: So you'd be attracted to her.
DAY 3
Adam: (walks right up next to her; rubs himself against her a bit) God, how come you made her skin so soft?
God: So you'd be attracted to her.
DAY 4
Adam: (asks her out to brunch; talks with her a lot) God, how come you made her so stupid?
God: So she'd be attracted to YOU.
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Sudo
A rich couple was going out for the evening when the woman
of the house decided to give the butler, Jeeves, the rest
of the night off. She said they would be home very late
and he should just enjoy his night.
Well, as it turned out the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, and came
home early. As she walks into the house she sees Jeeves
sitting by himself in the dining room. She calls for him to
follow her.
She leads him into the master bedroom, where
she closes and locks the door. She looks at him and smiles.
"Jeeves. Take off my dress." He does this carefully.
"Jeeves. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently
obeys her.
"Jeeves. Take off my bra and panties." Again,
he silently obeys her.
The tension was really getting tight
as she smiles and look at Jeeves. "Jeeves" she said "If I
ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"
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Eagle
As a man, I am completely offended by this joke.
I do not like chicken wings.
Eagle
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Suda
Adam wakes up and sees Eve for the first time. He asks, "God, who is that?" He replies, "Eve, I made her as a help mate for you."
Adam: "God what do I do with her?"
God: "Give her a hug."
Adam: "God, what's a hug?" God explains, Adams does as explained, and says, "God, that was great! What do I do next?"
God: "Give her a kiss."
Adam: "God, what's a kiss?" God explains, Adam follows his directions, and says, "Now that was fantastic! What do I do next?"
God: "Make love to her."
Adam: "God, what's make love?" God explains, so Adam goes to Eve to enjoy this experience. He returns rather quickly and asks, "God, what is a headache?"
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