Tamar

meant to be asked as a positive question! What are you doing or into now?

Oops...

IFrequently, the poor kid just needed a break or a nap. Only children below kindergarten level were allowed to nap. My grandson is now 5 and he needs a nap sometimes.

I'm 46 and just woke up from a nap! Just like kids, I'm cranky when I'm overtired and pretty sweet when I've had enough rest.

If any of you innies who have kids read this: This is not the right way nor the normal way to raise your children. They are more likely to become the loving, God-respecting, happy kids who obey their parents in the Lord if you raise them according to common sense and real genuine love and kindness and let them participate in school activities and play sports and stuff than if you are always beating on them and telling them to 'LISTEN REMEMBER OBEY'.

Don't listen to your leadership about raising your children. Listen to your heart. Or take them to court and terminate your parental rights and let them be adopted by someone who loves them, so you can "serve the ministry that taught you the word and put God first instead of your kids." WG

Wise words, WG. The counsel I received from TWI on childraising was tantamount to child abuse. I left once my first child was 6 months old, which is when they said I sould have started hitting her with that dreaded wooden spoon. I chose to raise my children with kindness and patience coupled with firmness laced with heavy doses of humor, and all 4 of them have turned out just fine. They're also good parents now themselves.

Oops! The line starting with "I'm 46 and I just woke up from a nap..." is mine. Apparently I did something wrong and it looks like its part of the quote I used from WG's previous post... I'll get better at this (or maybe I won't, technology is not my strong suite!).

Did you leave Twi on your own or were you pushed out? Have you picked up the pieces.

I was thinking of asking much the same question when I logged on and saw this. I've read lots of posts here about why people stayed, which is, of course, an important question. Many of us experienced the control and fear that kept us there far too long. But the next question that comes to mind is, "Why did you leave?"

For myself, it was several factors, starting with the complete lack of support when times got hard. I was WOW and then a twig leader in a new area in the late 70's and early 80's in Idaho. The leadership there was very hard core, lots of in-your-face controntation, etc. If you experienced hardship it was because of some horrible flaw in your spirituality or character, which really started to pi*s me off.

The next factor was the way in which married women were treated. I was very resistant to getting married because I knew that even though I had been a dynamic teacher and leader up to then, once I married I would be expected to wear a hat I knew wasn't going to fit very well. So, that pi*sed me off.

The final straw came after I married and then had a baby. The whole wooden spoon thing made me sick. Once I was told by a branch coordinator that I should hit my 6 month old baby if she was fussy during a twig, I was finally pi*sed enough to walk away. I've always been on the "outspoken" side, so telling them a thing or two on my way out made me feel much better.

As far as "picking up the pieces," it was amazingly easy. I just followed my own instincts, did what I wanted, and have been pretty much fine ever since.

I have very few regrets, except concerning some of my own behavior while in twi. That "in your face" confrontation was all the rage. I was young and passionate and as full of myself as any other foolish young person (wasn't it Mark Twain who said that the problem with youth is it's wasted on the young!). There were occasions when I treated people badly and I wish I hadn't. Remember that bumper sticker that said, "mean people suck?" They do. So I regret times that I was mean, and have sought to be a kinder person since.

Yep - that's where they were last, and doing the limb. They had lots of deep ties in the Richmond, VA area. If you try searching, check around there.

Loved the Berryhills - always will.

Thanks for your reply. Richmond was the first place I looked. My atrocious ex-husband and I visited them there in 1983, but that was the last time I saw them as I left TWI about a year later. The phone number I was able to find in Catonville, MD has been disconnected so I seem to have reached a dead end.

Hi Tamar...its Marcy! What a blessing, I tried to find you years ago and thought about your little hippy butt often! I sure love you and cant wait to catch up. How can I reach you? Whats your email address? Love you! OXOX

I can't believe it! I'm going to send you a private email and give my contact info!

I voted- she's adorable!

I expect some day I'll learn how to handle being screamed at but until then I just tend to walk away.

WG

Actually, that's a good way to handle it, WG. That's a healthy response to unhealthy behavior- walk away. You're doing just fine.

Also at my job--that type of managent style wouldn't be tolerated.

Good point. In most professional settings that sort of behavior would not be tolerated, nor should it be. I can't speak about a military setting as I have no experience there, but in other settings that sort of behavior is perceived as crazy. Obviously if someone has a legitimate impairment that's one thing, but the bottom line is that healthy grown-ups shouldn't behave like babies.

Personally, when someone behaves that way I'm done with them.

which is it for you?

I'm pretty new here, so I'm still figuring out what it is for me. I "got out" around 1983, and have changed alot, grown alot, and have a pretty nice (not perfect, but nice) life now. Yet stuff from twi still comes up for me. Often not for a long time, and I think I'm completely done with it, and then...

So, at least for now, it's reassuring to know that there's alot of folks who are processing some of the same stuff, even though many of them have been away from twi as long as I have. It's "fellowship" minus the control (for the most part, but nothing's perfect!).

Actually, the imperfection makes it all the more attractive. Some folks have been very kind, some rude, some very funny,some p#*sed off, and many just seem to want to have some genuine discourse. It's all good, because people seem to feel pretty free to say what's on their mind.

So, maybe for me it's going to about some healing and some humor and some dialog with people who know without alot of tiring explanations. We'll see how I feel down the road...

I'm looking for Bill and Jean Berryhill. The last info I could find was that they were limb leaders in Catonsville, Maryland, but they don't appear to be there anymore. I was in their WOW family years ago and would love to know what became of them.

was it michael rood? Ofcourse the limb leaders have a nice house,while the pee ons( )lived in n.e. dc roach capital.

of the world!

As we sang im so glad im a part of the family of God.....oh my my my

Michael Rood sounds vaguely familiar, but I don't think that's it. I think this guy's wife's name was Susan and I think he had one of the monosyllabic men's names like Bill or Bob or Jim.

I like your "pee ons." Makes me think of my sister's definition of "trickle down economics," - when they p#ss downhill and you still don't get wet!

Hi Tamar,

May I suggest you start a thread with their names as the subject header in the "Friend Finder" subforum? You may get more of a response, either from them or someone who knows where they are.

(I don't know them or where they are, but this thread caught my eye because I live in Maryland).

Good luck, and happy hunting!

Thanks- I'll try that.

WHEN I WAS THERE IT WAS IN POCATELLO,(sorry didn't mean to yell,i keep thinking it is large print)paul vergellio was limb leader 79-80

We must have missed each other by a year. It sounds like I was there the year after you left. I was in D.C. (well, northern VA right outside D.C.) in 1982. I can't remember the limb leader's name, except the house was in McLean and had a pool!

i was in rexburg idhao and blackfoot 79-80,seems like we came out at the same time frame.

I may have the years off by one or two. I remember when I first got there the limb leader's home was in Pocatello but then he (Dana) moved it to Boise. I was really young- 18 or 19.

It took about this long for me to recover, and i always wondered how other people in twi

did?

I also feel like we went through a war and got out and the war was still goiing on..and

I feel their are a lot of people missing in action and need to find help and to hear it from us

Why are you here...........to say i survived

After all these years, I'm just STARTING to look for survivors so you're ahead of me! When I walked away, around 1983, I severed all ties. Now, when I look back, it's like trying to remember a movie about someone else and barely remembering the characters involved.

Dana is the :limb leader:, of sorts, for a bunch of people who are involved with him and Chris Geer's thing, group, what-have-you. He is in Boise and no doubt in the phone book

I've been away from twi for so long (since 1983) and had zero contact with anyone until right now. What is Chris Geer's thing,group, what-have-you?

The wooden spoon was a big turn-off for me. The first time I saw it being used I wasn't a parent yet, but I was horrified none-the-less. I was at the home of 'leadership." They had a floral arrangement on their coffee table. Their daughter was just toddling around- she must have been about 12 months old. She kept reaching for the flowers on the coffee table and her mother kept hitting her hand with a wooden spoon. I asked, "Why don't you just move the flowers?", which got me a thourough a#*-chewing. Several years and states later, I had a sweet little baby of my own. I got another a#8 chewing because I didn't hit her for fussing during a twig meeting- she was 6 months old. That was my last twig.

I'm looking for Bill & Jean Berryhill. The last info I have for them is that they were limb leaders in Catonsville, MD, but apparently they're not there anymore. I was in their WOW family and would love to know what became of them.

Does anyone know what became of Dana Armstrong?

I'm wondering about a few people: Dana Armstrong, who was the limb leader in Idaho, and Bill & Jean Berryhill, who were in my WOW family in Twin Falls around 1980. Also, M4rcy Wert2berger, also in my WOW family