Robi

A representative of the Jewish faith came to the hospital to say prayers over Ellen when she passed. Because of time constraints, a rabbi was not available but a wonderful representative came and I was struck by the beauty of the things he said in the Jewish tradition (Ellen was of Jewish background but was entirely supportive of Jim's beliefs and even chose to believe much of what he did regarding Christ and eternity).

Jim gave me permission to post the prayer so here it is. He told me Adonai is another name for God and I will have to let him expound on that name another time. I understand it is an all encompassing name for God indicating strength, omniscience and other good things.

______________

The prayer is said, line by line, first in Hebrew and then in English. Here it is:

(Read by the Rabbi or representative:)-->

"Blessed be God's name whose glorious dominion is for ever and ever."

"Adonai is God."

"Hear, O Israel, Adonai is our God, Adonai is One."

(Read by those who are present:)-->

"Hear, O Israel: Adonai is our God, Adonai is one."

(After the moment of death:)-->

"God gave and God has taken away; blessed be the name of God."

"Blessed be the Judge of truth."

Confession By The Gravely Ill

(it may be read by the ill/dying person or it may be read in one's behalf:)-->

"My God and God of all who have gone before me, Author of life and death, I turn to You in trust. Although I pray for life and health, I know that I am mortal. If my life must soon come to an end, let me die, I pray, at peace."

"If only my hands were clean and my heart pure! I confess that I have committed sins and left much undone, yet I know also the good that I did or tried to do. May my acts of goodness give meaning to my life, and may my errors be forgiven."

"Protector of the bereaved and the helpless, watch over my loved ones. Into Your hand I commit my spirit; redeem it, O God of mercy and truth."

(As the end approaches, the following is said with or for the dying person:)-->

"God reigns; God has reigned; God will reign for ever and ever."

__________

Beautiful, isn't it? And it's nice to be able to see the beauty in another religion's prayers and traditions rather than criticize them for not believing EXACTLY as we do.

Go in peace, dear Ellen. We will love and care for Jim in your stead. We will see you again soon when we gather together.

love,

Robi

Pam,

What a lovely letter to Ellen. You are right in so many ways. Ellen was Jim's great love. She supported him and loved him in everything he did for the ex-Way and ex-cult community. She made it possible for him to do so much and I hope he can go on doing it. I hope he doesn't let her death sting too much. She would want him to continue what he is doing...and finish it. I'm sure of that.

Jim was with Ellen at the end. He stroked her face and told her he loved her over and over. He also told her it was ok for her to go. He promised to see her again. He promised to take care of her service dog, Brandy. She felt secure and loved until the end.

It was hard to see a love like that be interrupted

but it won't be for long. In fact, the love will never be interrupted, just their time together on this earth. The love will last throughout eternity, I'm sure.

God bless you, Jim, as you go through some of the hardest days of your life. Ellen is at peace and she is in no more pain. You will see her again soon and she will have open arms, welcoming you home. THEN you will never be apart again.

Albert,

I am trying to write Tannis at her snail mail address. I wrote you at your yahoo address listed in your profile but I don't know if you got it. Can you please write me with her addy at RKLEE@bellsouth.net ?

Thanks. I hope and pray all is going well with David's treatment and with all the kids. I think about them all often and pray much!

love,

Robi

Hi y'all. I thought I'd weigh in on this since I attended the American Family Foundation's conference on Cult Awareness this past summer.

Amongst the professionals there, they prefer to use the terminology, "High Demand Abusive Groups" which I think is much more accurate than the word "cult." Many groups of "cultic" nature are not religiously motivated in the least...yet they are still abusive and highly demanding.

There are many political "cults" out there that have nothing at all to do with religion. They do, however, have a charasmatic leader who is controlling, abusive at times (remember the cycle of abuse is not always bad...there are the 'fairytale' times and the 'tension building' times). In fact, I have noticed that the nationally recognized sorority my daughter has joined is 'cultic' in nature...secret rules, secret sayings, meetings for this and that. Recruitment practices. The problem comes when a group becomes abusive and demanding of all of one's heart and soul.

The word "cult" is still used because it is more universally recognized. The phrase "High Demand Abusive Group" is definitely more accurate because it doesn't differentiate religious doctrines as much as it defines a group's harmful practices.

Hope that helps. Perhaps we should all try to eliminate the 'cult' word from our terminology but it's just so darned hard!

hugs,

Robi

Joel,

Hope your birthday was happy, dear. You deserve all of God's blessings!

Love you lots,

Robi

Thanks you all for the wonderful birthday wishes. I was away for a few days visiting my daughter at college. It was a nice birthday...although I'm feeling my age!

Some of my favorite people have posted here...thanks for that. It makes my birthday even more special. I'll always remember what some of you have meant to me and have done for me. You are wonderful! I'm spending most of my days at the 'OddList'. It's also known as Jim Martin's OneList at yahoogroups. Visit sometimes...it's an email list for ex-wayfers. Here's a link: http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/The-Way

Love to you all!

Hugs,

Robi

PS A belated happy birthday to you, seth!

Albert,

Thanks for the updates on David and Tannis. I'm pleased he is doing well. He continues to remain in my prayers. Please give your family my love. I'm here if you need me. Please let me know if I can do anything.

love,

Robi

Thank you, Lifted for the thoughtful post. It means a lot to me that Pete has not been forgotten.

I will never forget the outpouring of love and prayers that Pete and my family received. I could not have made it without so many of you being there for me.

I stayed with Pete for most of the 3 months or so that he lived. I was in a city away from any of my family yet God saw to it that I was not alone. So many of you wrote everyday, or called, or posted a message and/or prayer.

Some of you came from miles away to visit Pete and I. I think Lifted drove 8 hours to stay for a few days so I could get some rest. Karl Kahler visited from California (he was visiting his own family in Arkansas and made an extra 7 ot 8 hour drive). He stayed a couple of days and took me on a picnic and exploring caves in the area.

There were wonderful believers who came from Illinois to spend time with me and take me to lunch. There were believers from the Kansas City area who came and brought me a home cooked meal (that was heaven). There was even a believer who worked in the very same hospital. She met me there the night I arrived to see Pete for the first time the day after he was burned! She visited me often and was so helpful and cheerful. There was a guy (another ex-Wayfer) who lived in the same city who visited me and brought me wonderful coffee and treats.

There was a wonderful woman who sent me a little money that she'd been 'saving up for something like that'. She said it was the way she chose to abundantly share these days (I think that's how she phrased it). It was so wonderful. There were a couple of people who had the foresight to send me stamps and phone cards! One or two offered me their frequent flyer miles and vouchers for tickets. All those things were so appreciated. I missed close to three months of work and with that, the flights, the hotel rooms, and other expenses, I used up much of my savings.

Then there were the people who weren't ex-Wayfers. I met many of them in the waiting room of the burn unit. None of them had family who were burned. It was combined with a surgical unit, so most of them were there with traumatic injuries, a few of them as long as me. We became very close. We became each other's backbones. A few of them became like family to me. Sometimes I think they were angels. I still keep in touch with a few of them.

Oh, there was the one woman who 'just happened' to be in the hospital the day I arrived to make decisions about my brother. She was the one who took care of her brother when HE was burned in a way similar to my brother. He had been discharged weeks before, but they 'just happened' to be in the hospital for physical therapy when I got there (they lived two hours away). They allowed me to ask them questions about his recovery. They allowed me to touch him and look at him closely. She brought me a survival kit...paper, colored pencils, a journal. She told me to write and draw how and what I was feeling. Every once in a while she would pop in the hospital. I'd say, "What are you doing here?" She'd say, "I came to take you to lunch. You need to get out of here a little." So off we'd go to the mall.

I got to know my half-brother and sister who had grown up in Missouri and I didn't know well. I lost one brother, but I got to know my half brother who is 17 years younger than me, and my half sister who is 15 years younger than me.

Although they couldn't be there as much as I'd have liked, they were there quite a few times and I am thankful that we were able to build a relationship.

I also got close to many of the nurses, doctors, and employees at the hospital. Some of them would come in on their days off and sit with me or take me to lunch (it sounds like I spent a lot of time going to lunch but I really didn't! In the space of 3 months, there were many times that I didn't leave the hospital much at all). I think they appreciated that I didn't go in and say, "I'm a critical care nurse. You need to do this, this and this and you need to do it the way I say." Instead, I told them, "Forget that I am a nurse. First of all, I know nothing about burn patients. Second of all, if I did know anything, at this point I am stupid and I can't think of a thing that I know. I am here as his sister and nothing else."

I didn't go in and grill them about his lab values, his ventilator settings, his medications and doses, or anything else. I went in and sat with him, held his one good hand or stroked his unburned face, and I read the bible to him or I sang him songs...you know the ones, "Peace, peace, wonderful peace..." or "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound."

Their favorite time was when I would get all the emails that you all sent to him everyday and I would read them to him. Some of them were so wonderful! Lifted and Righteous brother wrote nearly every day...wonderful, loving, and sometimes funny stories and tales. Krysylis let my brother get closer to her beautiful heart than she's ever let anyone here get (ask her about the spider sometime). Plotinus was always thoughtful, loving, and full of hope and sunshine.

There were so many emails! I can't think of all of them right now because I've had to shut the thoughts out of my mind as much as I can but I have saved every one of them. I have a three inch binder full of emails mostly from you all. They were so incredible. I read each one to Pete. The hospital volunteer and marketing offices deliver the email to patients and they sought me out to meet me and Pete because they say they never received as many for one person in the history of their email program! Those were just the ones you wrote to Pete at the hospital. Then there were the ones you all wrote to me personally, plus all the messages on his website and this website! Everyone of them brought me such joy and comfort. I know they did to Pete, too. I know he heard and knew people from all over the world were thinking and praying about him.

Pete never regained conciousness after he was burned. Part of the time they kept him down with pain medicine and medicine that kept him in a 'twilight' sedation and made him forget things (a blessing, I'm sure). Other times, they would back down on his medicine and I could see him beginning to respond a bit, but it was just too painful...or maybe too much for his brain.

With the help of all of your prayers and emails, I was able to spend much time there talking to Pete about God. Since my mother and I were both in TWI, and two sisters took the class, and since my father was a methodist minister, Pete had heard a lot about God before. He'd always had a life that he thought was tough and I'm not exactly what his beliefs were. I am absolutely convinced that during the 3 months he lived after his burn, he had time to make his peace with God and with himself.

One of the nurses that took care Pete a great deal came in on his day off and sat with me as I talked to Pete about being born again. The nurse talked to him from his perspective (he was not ex-Way but his beliefs and understanding were similar to mine. When we said what we needed to say, Pete had tears running down his face. I am convinced that he heard us and I am convinced that it changed his life.

Not too long after that, it became clear that he was taking a turn for the worse. I don't think Pete gave up. I think maybe he finally felt like he could rest and go to God. I think he knew he'd see us all again one day.

I was with him when he died. The doctors and nurses were doing everything they could to save him. They were hustling and trying everything, but Pete had an overwhelming infection that roared through his body and was eating up some of the many grafts he'd had. My last words to Pete were that it was ok for him to sleep and be peaceful. I told him that when he woke up, I'd be there and we'd be with God.

This experience severly tested my beliefs about God, but then again, God seemed to prove himself over and over again by the way he worked in so many people to help us out. I can't say that I have any concrete beliefs...I am still sorting...but I cannot deny the things I saw.

Thank you so much to all of you who were such a wonderful part of the whole experience. I think many of us learned so many things. I know I learned to be very thankful for the people God surrounded me with. Pete was a very special person and you all would have loved him as much as I did, and still do. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him and about those of you who brought so much to us with your love and prayers.

Thank you.

with much love,

Robi

(p.s. Unfortunately, the name that is a 'trigger' for the filters is 'Robi'.)

Thinking about David and Tannis (and the whole family) and praying.

Hang in there...

love,

Robi

((((((Albert))))))

((((((Tannis)))))) ((((((David))))))

I am deeply sorry. Oh, God, I can't think of much worse in your lives. You have my continued love and prayers.

Is there anything I can do?

much love,

Robi

Oh, Albert....how awful. My most sincere prayers to you, David, Tannis, and the entire family. Please call if you have questions or just need to talk. I don't come here much anymore but I will follow this thread to see how things are...and I will get in touch with Tannis.

How strange that he now has brain cancer when that's what his first wife died of. Is the cancer the same type?

Hugs to your mother. And I hope your brother finally gets a grip on who his family really is.

All my love,

Robi

Happy Birthday, Zixar!!

Lunch? I owe you one!

love,

Robi

Krys,

I posted another note here thanking you for all your help to me when I needed support the most and saying I will be praying for you and your family but it has disappeared. Dunno why.

Regardless, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could be just a smidgen as comforting to you as you have been to me in the past.

Take care, dear Krys. Time is sometimes the only thing that heals this kind of thing....but as time passes, I hope that the arms of God stay closely around you, comforting you and your family.

much love,

Robi

Jan G. was a lovely woman. I never met her face to face, but I met her heart. The Onelist brought many of us together

Jan's work in the ex-cult world was remarkable. She showed us that no matter what cult you were a member of, the issues of recovery were the same. Some did attempt to help save her website and hopefully her work and collections of information will live on.

Goodbye, dear Jan. See you again someday.

love,

Robi

Hi tessa!

Can you give us a shortcut link to get there? I have everything downloaded from a long time ago but I still have trouble finding my way there.

Thanks,

Robi

Foosball! LOL! Do you remember the time, I guess it was either the ROA or the Living Victoriously class when Craig had Jim come up on the main stage and they introduced him as the 'such and such' Foosball champion! I thought it was hilarious.

I knew Jim when he was a WOW...I think in Hollywood, Florida, in the early 80's. Redheaded, isn't he? Or what there was left of his hair)! I think he was in Emil Rock's family.

Jim was (and still is, I'm sure) a wonderful guy and I loved him alot. Tell him Robi (pronounced 'Row-Bee' and not Rah-Bee) says hello!

Happy Birthday, dear, dear Socks!

Hope you have a blast...and many more!

much love,

Robi

and so does Catmandoo

They are still in....Atlanta area.

Current as of today.

Still praying, nknative! Hang in there!