okeydokey

About the Way, No one but myself made me do anything. I gave freely of my time & energy. I believe the reason I stayed around so long when others did not (took the class and left) is because it was a family, for good or bad. When you first went to fellowship wasn't everyone great and you too? As time went on you couldn't do anything right. Right. The farther up you were in leadership the more hypocracy you saw and also became because you didn't leave then. Well where was I to go? By this time you had witnessed and if successful recruited your family and friends. What was a person to do, leave all that behind. Until finally I could not live with myself anymore if I stayed. So I left and I still miss my friends and somewhere to go every single night and twice on Sunday. And its been 20 years.

Your abuse by proxy reference is a valid one. I think that everyone who sat by and let abuse go one were indeed, at the very least, guilty of empowering the Movers and Shakers. That being said, I can sympathise with some people more than others, for example people who were primarily involved because of their spouse, etc. Especially if they did not go out of their way to abuse others. Some people may have had more "awareness" than others.

In my own former household, I have little sympathy for anyone. They were all relatively intelligent and "aware" people. Looking into their eyes, I felt strongely that they full well *knew* what was wrong and right. They chose to do whatever benefited them the most in the Way.

The fact that you are willing to apologize for some of your actions makes you a FAR better person than anyone I knew in my Household and Branch. The closest thing to remorse I ever saw was when one of the men in the Household couldn't meet my gaze after a "meeting". I ran into one of the girls months after I bailed, and she acted puzzled when I didn't run over and chat like nothing ever happened. And she was one of the main participants.

One of the primary reasons I bailed was because I did not want to be party to the crap I saw going on. But then again, I had only myself to worry about. (Not counting a slight romantic interest.) It was far easier for me to ditch than it may have been for others.

We all make mistakes, and being willing to acknowledge them and ask forgiveness is a huge step in balancing the sheet. Oh, if only there were more like you in my former branch!