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Yes, I'm fine, it's just that sometimes real life gets in the way of cyber life. Between school and work and my son visiting before he heads off to Iraq, I haven't had much time to post, but I promise I'll try to post more in the next week, ok? :D Vix

I'll give it a try, Bliss. font] :D

Sorry it's taken me so long to finish my story, but I have been so busy with school and work, I haven't had time to post. I promise I'll try to post more this week. Hope everyone is doing good and that they had a terrific weekend. Vix Nope, it was 1975 and you're right, the heavy-handedness didn't start with lcm. I'm sure you'll understand more when I send my next installment. Bless you, George. Vix

As do I.

Yes I suppose I was in the middle of it, but at the time, I just didn't realize it. Having grown up with a mother who lived to tell me how useless I was and how much she regreted having me, you get use to the abuse. You begin to believe the words and begin to think that you ARE useless. I went right into another abusive relationship with der vay and didn't give it a second thought. I mean, I really thought all relationships were supposed to be that way. :( Vix

The summer after I took the class, B*** decided that it would be a good idea for us to go into the minuteman program. I wasn't comfortable doing this, I guess because I had never been out of my hometown and I was only 19 at the time. I wanted to stay home and continue doing what I was doing. I had a fairly decent job and didn't want to quit. At fellowship one night, the lc was there and afterwards, he and J** cornered me and began questioning my loyalty to the word, God and the ministry. Growing up with an unlovingly parent, constantly belittling me and making me feel lower than dirt, I began to feel the old feelings I had back then. The need to please, hoping that she/they would once again accept me and love me again. I agreed that I would go minuteman determined to show them that I was a loyal servant to God and the ministry, all the way, deep inside me I had serious misgivings about this but I pushed those feelings deep down and continued on with what they said was the right thing to do. After the ceremony, we went to a small town in our state. Leadership there had already procured housing for us. I believe all of the minutemen there with the acceptional of B*** and I were corpse. I remember feeling so alone. All of the minutemen acted as if they were so superior to me and I was constantly being reproved for one thing or another. I was so unhappy and I wanted to go home, but I didn't want to cop out and not be faithful to God and the household, so I stayed. I had trouble finding a job and was accused of not believing God, finally I did manage to find a waitress job, but I needed a white uniform (this was when you were supposed to look professional when you waited tables). I didn't have the money to buy one but I did have one back home and all but begged leadership to let me go home to get it so I could work. Finally they agreed and let me go. B*** drove me. When we got home, I had received a phone call from the lc telling me that I shouldn't bother going back. I was dismissed from the minuteman program and was told that if I proved myself to be a true and faithful servant, I might be allowed to be a minuteman the following year. I was heartbroken and felt that I had let God down. B*** on the other hand was allowed to move to limb headquarters and stay with the fellow labours and continue moving God's word. Meanwhile, I was in my hometown alone, no job and expected to go to fellowship and continue to abs regardless of having a job or not and if I screw up even a little I was harshly reproved. It was a living hell but I continued on, thinking that if I left, God would be angry with me. Thus ending my very unhappy month of being a minuteman. Next: The abuse starts.

thanks Rascal! I loved working at Sambo's too, and working the graveyard shift, I made really good tips especially on Friday and Saturday nights after the bars closed! LOL. Sorry it's taken me so long to respond but sometimes real life has a way of getting in the way of cyberlife, doesn't it? ;) I should have my next installment ready to post by Tuesday. See ya then! Vix

My first fellowship is all a blur. I cannot tell you what was taught but I do remember the twig leader and his wife’s first name they were a nice couple but in hindsight, his wife seemed really cold and aloof. What I do remember was the love that I felt from everyone in the room. I believe most of the regulars were minutemen (funny how up until this moment I could not remember that name) and there were only about two or three new people there. I was one of the new people. After fellowship, J** began talking about a class that taught biblical principles and how it had changed his life. I don’t think he went into many details, all I remember thinking, “This is what I have been searching for. He said the class was 80.00 and it ran for two weeks. If I remember correctly, the class was on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and it was at night. The money was no problem, since I made good tips and I knew that I had saved up at least that. That night I signed up and went to work to talk to my boss about getting those nights off. The class was scheduled to begin in two weeks. We had seven people in the class so that meant a taped class that honestly, was kind of boring since you really had nothing to look at, just listen. (I remember hearing how important this class was because we had two witches in the class. Never did find out who they were.) I remember being fascinated my vp stand on what the original sin was and then came the last session where everyone was instructed on how to speak in tongues. Since I was raised in a Pentecostal church this was no problem for me, but it seemed odd that vp insisted that it was to be done “decently and in order.” (If anyone has ever visited a Pentecostal church, you know that this is NEVER the case, lol) During that classes, I think it was around session 5 or 6, B** and I were coming in from the country to see a movie and this was during the winter months and the first snow of the year. We had just rounded a corner when he lost control of the car and we hit a telephone pole on my side of the car. J** and A** never even came to the hospital to see if we were alright, but another couple who was taking the class came and got us and took us back to their place. The next day, we went to see J** and A** who said it was the devil trying to prevent us from finishing the class. That we needed to be very careful during the last few sessions, because the devil knew we were destined to do great things in the ministry and he wanted to prevent us from fulfilling our destiny. We finished the class with no further incidents except that I lost my job at Sambo’s because they put me on the schedule for one night of the class and since I didn’t know anything about it, until the next night when I went in to work and was told that I was fired. I was devastated because I had just spent the last of my savings for the class. I did however get another job which was fine for J** because as he put it, “Now you can continue to abs and save up for the intermediate class.” Fellowship and classes is about all I remember about the rest of that winter. I think we had fellowship almost every night, which left little time for anything else. By now the brainwashing had begun to take its effect and I began to cut myself off from family and friends that were not “believers” because as we all know they were hinder us from moving the word. Next, the "joy" of becoming a minuteman. (Hope you were not too bored with this). Vix

That's ok, bliss. I know you aren't downplaying my pain and it has been both cathartic and painful recalling the years I was "in" but after years of therapy the pain has subsided somewhat and I have been able to move on but there are still some things that happen and I'm immediately transported back to those times but you deal with the problem and continue on. I have always had the ability to convey my feelings with words and it pleases me to no end that people enjoy reading what I've written and hopefully learn too. :)--> Thanks again for welcoming me into this awesome group! Vix

Our Sambo's was torn down and a Hardees was built there. Gosh I have some really fond memories of that place. :)--> BTW, thanks for the welcome everyone. I am so busy with work and going to school, I haven't had much time to post, but I should be able to post more of my story tomorrow. See ya then! Vix

It was 1975; I had just graduated High School and had been on a Spiritual quest for a number of years. You would think that having a cousin who was a Pentecostal minister, I would have found what I was searching for but this was not the case. My home life, until I was 10 years old was one of abuse and constant humiliation and so I had nothing to base any type of relationship on, either friendship or romantic. I had been cut off from the real world and because of this I was painfully shy and unequipped to deal with the lies that would come at me later in life. However, that is an entirely different book. I only mention this because it so completely ties into how at 18, I fell for the whole book of lies that was the way. Enter a charming, handsome, and incredibly smart man. I was working the graveyard shift at the local Sambo’s restaurant, (Does anyone remember those? I think they were a chain. At least in the state I was in) which suited me perfectly, since I totally had no social life whatsoever. Looking back, I suppose I was cute and I was told on numerous occasions that I made the uniform look good, LOL. This man, who would later become my husband, began sitting in my section. He worked for the local paper and would come in after his shift, which if I remember correctly was around midnight or so. We hit it off from the beginning and I looked forward to seeing him. It was the 70’s and it was popular at the time to smoke a little, if you know what I mean. One night, he came in and I remember thinking there was something different about him. LOL, all he could say was “far out” and I knew he had indulged a little in the “happy weed.” I thought this was great and told him that my shift was ending soon and I had some “stuff” that was incredible. I look back at that and think how bold it was to actually ask him to go out with me. I suppose infatuation can help you overcome many things. I changed and we drove around town, smoking, laughing, and getting to know each other. All of a sudden, unexpectedly, he became very serious and began telling me about a fellowship that he had been attending. He told me about the love, how they taught things about the bible that no one else had ever taught about before. This made me sit up and take notice. I was so hungry for something concrete, something real, not the fake stuff I had experienced in the many, many churches I had visited over the years. This seemed like a godsend to me and I devoured every word he said. When he asked me to come to the next fellowship with him, I excitedly said yes. This was something that felt right to me; little did I know that I was about to begin a journey into hell that would last for the next 15 years. More to come later, if you are interested. Right now, I have to get ready for work. I will check back either to tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for listening. Vix