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genie in a bottle


Jade
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> While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a Bottle on a beach and picked it up.

>

> Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile and said "Master, may I grant you one wish?"

>

> "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am?

>

> I don't need any common woman giving me anything" barked Bin Laden.

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> The shocked genie said "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."

>

> Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morni ng. So just do it and be off wi th you!"

>

> The annoyed genie said, "So be it !" and disappeared.

>

> The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with -

>

>

> Lorena Bobbitt,

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> Tonya Harding,

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> and Hillary Clinton.

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> His penis was gone,

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> his knees were broken,

>

> and he had no health insurance.

>

>

> God is good.

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Beer, Fishing, Golf and Sex ---

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

:dance::evildenk::dance:

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