Willy the Parrot is a Hero!!!

[oenophile]

Willy, Meagan's parrot, is credited for saving the life of two year old Hannah. For his act of heroism, Willy was recently awarded of commendation from Colorado's Governor.

Meagan was babysitting Hannah in her home and had just left her eating a Pop Tart while she went to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, according to Meagan, Willy started screaming like she had never heard him before. "Mama! Baby!" yelled Willy, all the while flapping his wings. Meagan rushed out of the bathroom to check on things and found Hannah turning blue. A piece of Pop Tart was lodged in her airway. Meagan quickly performed the Heimlich maneuver and Hannah regained her breath and returned to her normal color. Meagan said that if Willy had not sounded the alarm, she would never have reached Hannah in time.

http://cbs4denver.com/watercooler/life.sav...t.2.860499.html

Across the pond in merry old England, the owner of a bird sanctuary has a problem with a six year old Macaw named Barney. Apparently, Barney's former owner was accustomed to swearing profusely around Barney. Since being dropped off at the bird sanctuary, Barney has busied himself teaching his vocabulary to two other macaws. Fowls talking foul. When the trio engage in their gutter talk, a African Grey yells, "Shut Up!", but apparently to no avail.

Stacey Clark, the owner of the avian sanctuary, is concerned because macaws live 60 or more years and is concerned about the prospect of having to hear the swearing for the rest of his natural life.

Among the visitors who have been treated the the chorus of swearing by the birds were the local Vicar and the Mayoress.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/coventr...ire/4717211.stm

[leafytwiglet]

LOL these are awesome.. I wonder if you started teaching Barney some new words or songs to kind of take the place of the old ones if he would at least say the bad words less as his repetoir would be larger.

[RumRunner]

LOL these are awesome.. I wonder if you started teaching Barney some new words or songs to kind of take the place of the old ones if he would at least say the bad words less as his repetoir would be larger.

Why would I enforce my so called polite speak on this bird? It has no idea what those sounds mean? Besides...consider this...

You're evil mother in law is coming to visit. You cop a slight buzz to steel your self against her constant onslaughts of verbal insult...maybe a few beers or a small doob...just a slight buzz.

The witch walks in the door and is greeted by the screeching parrot calling out "f(ck you! f(ck you!"..."You s(ck! you s(ck!"

You shrug your shoulders helplessly (suppressing an urge to burst into hysterical laughter) and explain that it is the "fault" of the previous owner but you took this bird in as an "abused" creature.

Your MIL looks at you with complete rage. You "calm" her down and explain to the 75 year old witch - hey it's OK - the bird is only going to live another 60 years or so. Don't worry I'm going to teach it some new and constructive things besides his vocabulary...Next I'm going to teach him to answer the telephone.

You calmly set down a glass of warm milk for the witch then walk outside and burst into knee slapping laughter in the driveway...

To cop from a MC commercial...

You MIL's plane ticket - $475

Her special dietary needs for the week - $847

Watching her face as she gets cussed at by a parrot? Priceless...

[GarthP2000]

Hehehe. Ya know, you could also teach the parrot your signoff line, and have him use it when the Evil Mother-in-Law leaves.

"To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee -- BRAWWWKKK!!".

Edited March 28, 2009 by GarthP2000

[doojable]

:biglaugh:

A little old woman entered a pet shop hoping to find a pet. The proprietor walked up to her,

"Hello Ma'am. How can I help you?" he said.

" I live alone and I get lonely. I was hoping to buy a parrot that talks to help keep me company," she replied.

"I'm so sorry but I'm afraid that the only parrot I have right now was previously owned by a sailor who had a real potty mouth. I don't think he'd be an appropriate companion for you."

"Well, I bet I can work with him." I'll take him home."

The woman took the parrot home and set him on the counter in his cage. While doing so she knocked a book on the floor. The parrot startled and let out a loud, "Sonuvab(tch!"

Without hesitation or even a word the woman took the parrot out of his cage and threw him into the freezer. The parrot remained there for about 5 minutes. When she took the parrot out she explained to him that the next time he made such a poor choice of words he would remain in that frozen prison a bit longer.

Days went by. The parrot decided that he needed to mind his P' and Q's. One day a strong wind made the front door slam.

The bird nearly jumped out of his feathers and squawked, "SON OF A B(TCH!"

Once again the parrot found himself in the freezer. He knew it was going to be a while so he started to walk around and flap his wings trying to stay warm. He stopped dead in his tracks when he found a frozen chicken. His eyes opened wide and he said to the chicken,

"Damn! You musta' said Mutha F(cker!"

:biglaugh:

Edited March 28, 2009 by doojable

[leafytwiglet]

hehehehehe