It is like that sometimes, Roy, yes. And understanding that loss, grief, mourning, the process, time limit......it's all very unique; no two people do the same things to express this stuff.
My husband has been dead almost 13 years and it's odd to call him "my husband" since he's not anymore. The correct term is "late husband" which sorta makes me giggle cuz it just doesn't fit either.
The man I was married to died and I was left a widow, which is another word that is distasteful isn't it?
But yes, sometimes I experience anger at the death and then joy and love for his life. Sometimes I know the complete and utter loss of him in our lives and at the same time find thankfulness that he was there.
And it does happen all at once, at the same time and never together; it's all over the board and I've come to understand, finally, that all is normal.
There are other factors such as the length of the process. Is it easier, somehow, when the person was ill for a long time and we knew they were dying soon or is faster and sudden better for those of us left to grieve the loss? All of that, again, is unique to our family and so many other dynamics such as the stress of caring for someone we love as they suffer illness, knowing! it's happening.
I don't think we can ever label any of this and I love that it gets discussed so as to understand and embrace others' feelings and views.
I'm a mom so for me it's always been about my children. Yes I lost my husband, but they lost their father and were robbed of his company and companionship and love that of course is unique for them; my youngest was only 23 months old, she doesn't remember daddy. My oldest was 15 and the run off from his death almost took her out of this world herself, at her own hands.
We just can't know.........Rockin' that we can talk about it!
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Shellon
It is like that sometimes, Roy, yes. And understanding that loss, grief, mourning, the process, time limit......it's all very unique; no two people do the same things to express this stuff.
My husband has been dead almost 13 years and it's odd to call him "my husband" since he's not anymore. The correct term is "late husband" which sorta makes me giggle cuz it just doesn't fit either.
The man I was married to died and I was left a widow, which is another word that is distasteful isn't it?
But yes, sometimes I experience anger at the death and then joy and love for his life. Sometimes I know the complete and utter loss of him in our lives and at the same time find thankfulness that he was there.
And it does happen all at once, at the same time and never together; it's all over the board and I've come to understand, finally, that all is normal.
There are other factors such as the length of the process. Is it easier, somehow, when the person was ill for a long time and we knew they were dying soon or is faster and sudden better for those of us left to grieve the loss? All of that, again, is unique to our family and so many other dynamics such as the stress of caring for someone we love as they suffer illness, knowing! it's happening.
I don't think we can ever label any of this and I love that it gets discussed so as to understand and embrace others' feelings and views.
I'm a mom so for me it's always been about my children. Yes I lost my husband, but they lost their father and were robbed of his company and companionship and love that of course is unique for them; my youngest was only 23 months old, she doesn't remember daddy. My oldest was 15 and the run off from his death almost took her out of this world herself, at her own hands.
We just can't know.........Rockin' that we can talk about it!
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year2027
God first
thanks Shellon
yes its hard for all of us
and I'm sorry i do not have a word that will take away your lost but would it help anyway
all i know to do is cry with each other and having joy with other remembering the good times we had
with love and a holy kiss Roy
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