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We all belong somewhere. We all get imbued from childhood with various social norms. If we shift to a different community, we discover and may incorporate within ourselves different norms. Like when we change the place we study, or the type of work we undertake - or, as she points out, change the country in which we live. I found it hard to understand some American perspectives when I was in rez. And I know Americans found a non-US perspective very strange, at times. Even now, when I talk with American friends, they have a world view that sees my world view as incomprehensible (and vice versa). Neither is right, neither is wrong; open conversation opens doors of understanding. It's often said that learning another language helps deepen understanding. It's how people really get into the other language and perceive its different structure and the way it expresses ideas. It's not merely a word-learning exercise, but a mind-broadening one. I wonder if there are people here who are fluent in English, and Spanish or Italian or Hindi, etc, born of immigrant families, who could say something about who they are when they interact in the "other" language? On a related note, I lived overseas in yet another different country (English speaking) for many years. When I got laid off from my job in the UK, I couldn't find any work, despite oh-so-diligent efforts. After a few years of this, I thought, "What would I do if I were in that other country?" A change of mindset got me started into self-employment, and now after 7 or 8 years I truly have no desire to go back to my old employed way of life.

Think you might need another category. Life as a whole; time in TWI; time recovering from TWI. That's a harder time to quantify. From when one leaves, to the time one stops thinking like a Wayfer, or stops startling at key jargon words that have acquired other meanings; or until one has abandoned unhealthy TWI concepts. I call the ten years post-TWI the lost years - I was there in body (even doing things that I ought to have enjoyed), but in such a state that my mind was only partly there and I was actually in a state of profound depression. I think my recovery didn't start till about ten years after being kicked out, and that was when I discovered Greasespot Café when I was preparing to crawl back to TWI. After that, it was - what? five years? ten years? - before I think I became a more clear-minded person and got back my enthusiasm for living. If you take that as 20 years (on top of TWI involvement) that's a very big chunk of pie chart. I thank God for his great protection and for the kind, loving, genuine, patient and helpful, Christians and other people he put in my way in that 20 years or so