Jade

1. What time is it: 4.01pm

2. Name: kailin jade willis

3. Nickname: lin

4. Piercings: ears

5. Recent Movie you've seen: care bears

6. Eye color: blue

7. Place of birth: michigan

8. Favorite food: any thiing on mommys plate

9. Ever been toilet papering? i ate it once

10. Love someone so much it made you cry? i love my mommy and daddy and my kitty

11. Been in a car accident:

12. Favorite day of the week: when mommy and daddy let me sleep in thier bed

13. Favorite restaurants: i like them all cuz people always smile tell mommy im beautiful

14. Favorite Flower:

15. Favorite sport to watch: i watch football with daddy

16. Favorite Drink: formula

17. Favorite ice cream: popsicles

18. Disney or Warner Brothers: disney

19. Favorite fast food restaurant: i like french fries

20. What color is your bedroom carpet: wood floor

21. How many times you failed your driver's test? i drive a walker with a big flower mirror on it

22. Winter, summer, spring or fall: i dont like to fall it hurts

23. Which store would you choose to Max out your credit card: i am gonna get daddys credit card when i grow up

24. What do you like to do when you are most bored: i roll on the floor and play with my kitty, or chew on what ever i can find

25. Bedtime: 7.30pm

26. Favorite TV show: dora the explorer, sponge bob, blues clues

27. Last person you went to dinner with: mommmy grammy and aunt kelly

28. Ford or Chevy: dodge, chrysler, jeep ( thats where daddy works! )

29. What are you listening to right now? mommy telling me i cant play with the trash can

30. How many tattoos do you have:

31. How many pets do you own: i have my very own kitty kitty her name is princess, she even sleeps with me sometimes

32. Which came first the chicken or the chicken egg? i like eggs, mommy shares them with me sometimes

maybe i do only have 4 ??? i have to think and look..... no ok i guess i only have 4 .... hmmmmmm time for a new one

Silly, but what the heck, tell me aboutcha

1. What time is it: 8.31 pm

2. Name: samantha rene north

3. Nickname: sami

4. Piercings: ears, getting belly button done again in summer

5. Recent Movie you've seen: charlie brown christmas

6. Eye color: hazel

7. Place of birth: michigan

8. Favorite food: taco salad

9. Ever been toilet papering? yes

10. Love someone so much it made you cry? yes ever hate sumone so much it made you cry? yes

11. Been in a car accident: a few

12. Favorite day of the week: any day i have a lia sophia party and make money (www.liasophia.com/sami)

13. Favorite restaurants: garfields and applebees (good margaritas)

14. Favorite Flower: pink rose

15. Favorite sport to watch: basket ball, foot ball, boxing

16. Favorite Drink: non liquour :coke liquour: margarita with salt on rim

17. Favorite ice cream: mint chocolet chip

18. Disney or Warner Brothers: Warner Brothers

19. Favorite fast food restaurant: taco bell

20. What color is your bedroom carpet: dark gray

21. How many times you failed your driver's test? 1

22. Winter, summer, spring or fall: summer

23. Which store would you choose to Max out your credit card: american eagle, abercrombie and finch

24. What do you like to do when you are most bored: watch a movie and fall alseep watchin it. dont happen really anymore (lin)

25. Bedtime: around 11

26. Favorite TV shows: real world, nip tuck, fbi files, csi

27. Last person you went to dinner with: mom kelly and kailin

28. Ford or Chevy: dodge, chrysler, jeep

29. What are you listening to right now? "karma" by lloyd banks

30. How many tattoos do you have: 5 i think

31. How many pets do you own: a dog kili and a cat princess we had a frog named herman in the basement.... dunno i think the cat ate him

32. Which came first the chicken or the chicken egg? 2 chickens

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on. Pooped on.

Chewed on. Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin, I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew how much I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

And before I was a Grandma, I didn't know that all those "Mom" feelings more than doubled when you see that little bundle being held by "your baby"...

And remember....... behind every successful mother is a basket of dirty laundry!!!!

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a

cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be

almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by

getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by

simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and

bleed for A few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember

to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent

you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the

snooze button.

6 If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then

you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you

will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never

know when you might need them to empty your bedpan

[size=3]Baked Beans.... If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing

will.

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked

beans.

She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very

embarrassing

and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself,

"He

is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying

on."

She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later

her car

broke down on the way home from work.

Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that

she

would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans

was

more than she could stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off

any

ill effects by the time she reached home.

So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed

three

large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt

reasonably

sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,

"Darling, I

have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.

She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold

from his

wife, the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He

then

went to answer the telephone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the

pressure

was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the

room she

seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running

over a

skunk in front of pulpwood mill.

She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.

Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which

reminded

her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went

on

like this for another ten minutes.

When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she

fanned the

air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded

her

hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing

for

taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that

she had

not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a

"Happy

Birthday"!!![/size]

yes no matter what number you call if you are in your "any time" minutes time, you use them

JACK'S TELEPHONE NUMBER...

Blonde Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Blonde Caller: "On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states

that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone

Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

EVERYONE GETTING ORDERS AROUND? ONLY 10 MORE DAYS ! I AM CLOSING MY SHOW ON THE 27TH! GET THE HIHGEST ORDER AND RECIEVE free JEWELRY! :)

CUTE STUFF WACKY.

DONT FORGET EVERYONE.... FREE JEWELRY TO THE HIGHEST ORDER !

CUTE STUFF WACKY.

DONT FORGET EVERYONE.... FREE JEWELRY TO THE HIGHEST ORDER !

For all of you who don’t know, I have my own business. I am an advisor for lia sophia. We sell fashion jewelry. I am holding a book show on my website. It starts today and is going on thru the 27th. At the end, I am going to give away a FREE piece of jewelry to the person who has the highest order. Who ever has the highest order will be able to chose ANY 100 dollar item from the catalog and I will give it to them for absolutely FREE.

The jewelry is fashion jewelry and is made by artisans all over the world. lia sophia has a LIFETIME guarantee. If at ANY point you are unsatisfied with your piece, you may exchange it. With in the first 45 days of ownership you may get a refund.

We always have a sale! At all times, when you buy 2 items at regular price, you get your 3rd item at half off. BUT..... unlike other businesses, the 3rd item that you receive half off is you’re MOST EXPENSIVE. You can do this save plan as many times as you like. Also, in the month of November, if you use this save plan OR if you spend 50 dollars, you may purchase an additional 3 pins and or slides at half off.

The jewelry is very beautiful and I stand by it 100 % !!!!!

Feel free to go to my website and make some purchases! These could be great hohohohoho Christmas presents!

When purchasing, you have to put my name in as hostess.. Samantha North

www.liasophia.com/sami

AND REMEMEBER.... who ever has the largest order receives a 100 dollar piece of jewelry FREE from me !!

i found this on the internet.. .... cute

A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirrorpulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to astop, a police officer approaches the car.

The man says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hourzone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you.

Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.

Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks![The man gives his wife another a dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearingyour seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!

The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can'tyou just shut up?!"

The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, Does yourhusband talk to you this way all the time?"

Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk."

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER:

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants

open

presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe

12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds

1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret

admirer

4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle

hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full

length mirror

7:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments

received from other diners/dancers

10:00 Hot shower (alone)

10:50 Carried to bed . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM:

6:00 Alarm

6:15 Blow job

6:30 Massive satisfying upset while reading the sports section

7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,

buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Several beers en-route to airport

9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet

9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club

9:45 Play front nine - 2 under

11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon

12:15 Blow job

12:30 Play back nine - 4 under

2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)

2:30 Fly to Bahamas

3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude

who

also bend over a lot displaying growlers

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs) - on light tackle

5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson

6:45 upset, Shower and Shave

7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated;

7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet

steak

9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you

watch football game

9:30 Sex with three women

11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

11:30 A night cap blow job

11:45 In bed alone

11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to

leave the room

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

very funny!!!

10 THINGS YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW:

1. i too have somethin in my fridge that smells funny (??)

2. i was sad when kailn wasn't a boy. (got over that real fast)

3. i have done no prescipton drugs

4. i do drink on occation.

5. i made out with a girl once.

6. i got bit by a brown recluse spider

7. i overdrew my bank account my 3 cents one time and got charged 25 dollars.

8. i hate to clean bathrooms

9. its paws fault i got pregnant with kailin (HAHAHAHA)

10. i spent 45 dollars on a brand new baby outfit that she will probably only wear one time.

10 THINGS YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:

1. im cute

2. im sweet

3. i run my own business

4. i have a beautiful little girl named kailin

5. im a hottie

6. kailin has 2 teeth and is almost 7 months now! ( man time flies)

7. we have a cat named princess who only bites me no one else

8. my favorite color is pink.

9. im super cute

10. i am goin to plant a money tree and see what happens ( i'll let ya know)

AND P. S .

mijbj nbvnjvmb uvk9,6m jb miyb

, N IKMMh vvg ti,uyhpty0yb89nftv8jhvjfjtfrcjk-tfnj-0b78vnbgbgvgvgb mc5bgvvb0-bph0ph9cvkh'l

/ iuipbopb0gf-ed0r504=od4ptvopi rv

ybo;bonoifcp;mv (KAILIN SAYS HI )

;)

FUNNY FUNNY!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

FUNNY FUNNY!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

i am gonna enter kailin in a beautiful baby contest for the magazine "american baby" think she will do good? one of the grandprizes is a trip for 3 to new york! (pack your bags mom)

Morning Kathy, this is Shellon -->

At my daughters til my plane flight out this afternoon @ 2:00

Will be peeking through weekend, but home at my own computer monday, you'll catch me up yes?