newlife

Hi Belle,

Yes, When I read your post, I think you nailed a lot of things for me. I AM holding on to TWI logic and doctrine......

Some things I have changed in my beliefs......but a lot of it I am still holding to. And I guess the thing is maybe deep down I question them, and really think it possible they are not right, but I hold on to what I was taught.....What is it that makes me do this? I just don't know.....

Thanks!!

Hi Belle,

Yes, When I read your post, I think you nailed a lot of things for me. I AM holding on to TWI logic and doctrine......

Some things I have changed in my beliefs......but a lot of it I am still holding to. And I guess the thing is maybe deep down I question them, and really think it possible they are not right, but I hold on to what I was taught.....What is it that makes me do this? I just don't know.....

Thanks!!

Thanks Everyone for your input......I have appreciated it. I think I know what my pain stemmed from now......it stemmed from the idea that I had tried everything else and nothing seemed to work....finding myself in this offshoot (which by the way I am not putting them down-but it doesn't fit me) and feeling like, well this is it. You HAVE to stay here...you've run out of options......and that has produced a lot of pain for me. But, last night, I realized I can leave this group.....I don't know what that leaves me....but I don't Have to be in this group because the options have run out, even though I don't know of any more options.

Belle, Thank-you for your offer to help. I really asked myself what I have been looking for....and the only thing I could think of was a "family" and "love". But also, just having some spiritual truths that I know are true. I think the biggest block to me and churches has been the trinity. Though, I have tried to overlook it, and tried to be involved and a part of...it definitely has an affect on my relationships.....because they have a different perspective of their relationship w/God...

I have not been the greatest student of the bible since I left TWI.....but recently in the last two and a half months, when I had not been involved in anything, I started reading the bible to just see what it said.....and I've seen some things that I've not seen before.......and maybe that's why I don't think this off shoot group is for me. And I felt like, I was gonna have to believe what they believe in order to be a part of it.....Old thinking huh?

And I really miss the family aspect. Even though we had a very disfunctional family in TWI....I had some very close friends and really felt they were family to me.

I think I am rambling now......so I'll stop....Any help would be appreciated. It's hard for me to look at myself and be objective...so Thanks.

Good questions about the fellowship aspect.......is it relevant today like it was in the book of Acts. More questions to be answered. I really would hate to think that x-way people are like the people wandering around in the wilderness....but I sure feel like that a lot.

Thank-you for your response and for sharing with me things that you could. I just have a lot of pain in dealing with this....I feel like I tried all these options, and still ended up almost where I started.....I really do not have a lot of hope....and I know that is just not how it should be.

I don't know how to do this thing called Christianity, without being involved with a group of christians. I really don't. And maybe I should not do anything at all.....but that just can't be the answer.

I guess this is a place I felt I could be understood and I could relate to other people. A place where I could share the pain of all this.....cause I SURE didn't start out after I left to end up where I am now....and it's so painful to be at this place in my life.

I don't mean to be a "downer" about all this.....I just wanted to "get this out" of my head and heart and maybe hear from others who have experienced this or have some suggestions......

Thank you All.......

Gosh Thanks soooo Much for your response. That was a God deal right there.....I was in a lot of pain when I posted, and reading what you wrote helped me so much. It was encouraging.....THANK-YOU!!!

I've been out for 20 years now.......I've been trying over those 20 years to change beliefs, some of which I have, but After trying church after church, working at a place to help the homeless...doing christian music, even playing in a band...I found that I can not "fit in" with most of those places I have been......and ended up drawing back from all those to ponder what I should do.

Where that has taken me is back to a fellowship, one of the offshoots, where I really am disappointed cause I feel like, "well here I go again". Another gal who also went back to the fellowship said, where else are you gonna go......and I have no answer for that, since I've tried so many different things and different places.

It's pretty frustrating and I am wondering if any of you have experience this complete circle that I have just experienced.

I remember when I first left, that we would joke, if you can take the person out of TWI, can you take the TWI out of the person??? It's not a joke to me any more.

Any wisdom out there from you all?????

Thanks!!

I am happy for you....There is always an answer!

Newlife

Hello everyone,

I haven't posted here for a very,very, long time. When I first left, I came here pretty consistently. It was a connection with all of you that was healing, and comforting..thank-you.

For those who have recently left, or are considering leaving...I just wanted to post something.

I can tell you my experiences in the ministry, but what I really want to tell you is my experiences out of the ministry. I can't speak for people, only for myself. I had a very difficult time after I left the ministry. I didn't know if I was coming or going. I felt like I was so confused and mixed up and didn't trust anyone. And I was wondering where my answers and healing was going to come from. God had my life in His hands and I really wasn't aware of it at the time. Through some circumstances, I wound up in a 12 step program...much to my surprise let me tell you.

And the only reason, at first, that I thought I was there, was to help them! (I laugh at that now). It was them who helped me. I found that I have an addictive personality. And so started my journey into recovery. Recovery of my life, of myself, of my world. I had no idea where I was going and what my life would look like. The only thing I knew and definitely sure of was...I couldn't go back...only forward.

That was in 1995. I had been out of the ministry since 1988..and those years basically I think I just hung on...till I got in recovery.

It's been over 10 years since I went to that group of 12 steppers. My life has DRAMATICALLY changed. IN a way only God could do. I felt in the beginning I was really in such a place, that not even GOD could put me back together, but He did. I can only say that I have done things that when I was in the ministry I would have never considered. Like counseling/therapy--12 step groups, church etc....all the things I said NEVER would you see me do....yet I did. I knew it was God leading and I knew if I was to have the life He desired for me to have then I had to let go of some old ideas, and move forward with some new. In this journey, I've learned that I had a chemical imbalance and got on medication. Changed my life. I didn't know that was a even a problem until I went to counseling. I thank God I did. I've learned that other people can be right, I've learned that I am not that important. I've learned that I have character flaws and God has graciously and gently helps me change. The old transformation verses...they are very true. I've learned that I don't know everything about everything. My life today looks nothing like it did 16 years ago. I'm for the most part happy, and blessed. And it's not about "things" I have or haven't got. IT's about the inside of me changing. There is little anger, or bitterness now. There is peace and serenity. My whole attitude has changed towards God and people.

I'd say God did miracles for me in many many ways and many many times. All of which would take eons of time to write about, such as healing from cancer.

In the beginning of this journey, God spoke to me in His word and He shared Daniel chapter 4 about the king...losing his mind. And God restored his sanity and life when he finally acknowledged that God is God. That was what started me on this journey and that is what keeps me on the path. God told me, I'll do that for you if you acknowledge me as God. I had alwaysthought that is what I had done.But I started learning what he meant...ANd I continue to learn how to let Him be who He is in my life..God.

I'm sorry to take so much room, I had a lot to say and I've actually condensed it. I'm active in a church, and I'm active in a biblical based recovery program called Celebrate Recovery. It is where God has placed me to help others find their path and find God.

I wish you all well on your journey. We are never alone and God has so much for us....things we haven't even thought or dreamed about yet. Keep on Keeping on...it's worth it!

God Bless You All,

Newlife

Hello Everyone,

I haven't been at the GS for awhile, but just kind of was scoping out some of the Messages and saw IL.

Yes, I know Karen Workman, Dawn Clarey (Now in the Carolinas)

Does anyone know where Ernie and Claudia are at?

What great people.

Cheryl Dahl too..Ernie's sister married Jim Farrara.

Reading all these names brought back a lot of fond memories....thanks!

Newlife

Forgiveness---I am thankful for the post on this. For a long time I just harbored the anger and resentment. Through some insight of others and them passing on the wisdom to me, I have forgiven. Resentment and anger will just eat me a live when I continue to "Play it over and over again". Forgiveness doesn't mean letting someone off the hook...and I think that may be a reason that people don't forget. It means that I forgive them, even though their wrong is still wrong...God will take care of it...But forgiving them, Well, I am the benefactor of that because they probably will never know that I have forgiven them....I'll not see them or talk to them again. Forgiving them and letting it go....frees me. Otherwise I am tied to the anger, situation, etc. Forgiving is a process not an event. It took time for me to let it go. But with the help of God I did....and I moved on!

Blessings!

Happy Birthday Ralph----

May you have many many more and all of God's love and blessings!

Loved to hear you teach the word!!

Happy Anniversary to you both!!! :)-->