TheManOfa Thousand ScreenNames

I'm in the chat room now, should you be interested.

Just as an aside, it's tuchus. :D-->

In answer to your thread title, yes.

I'm only half Irish, Shell. :D-->

Just a guess here, but could it be the same guy who "saw the light"?

Just about anything by Jackson Browne, but more specifically:

The Times You've Come (got me through a rather rough period in my life)

The Late Show

For A Dancer

I Thought I Was A Child

Your Bright Baby Blues

Doctor My Eyes

Panama-Van Halen

Right Now-Van Halen

Right Now-SR-71

Christmas in Sarajevo-TransSiberian Orchestra (featuring Metallica)

Nearly perfect album (esp. for a live one) Nighthawks At The Diner-Tom Waits

Insensitive-Jann Arden

State Trooper-Jeff Daniels (yes, the actor)

That's it for now. :D-->

Congrats, Raf.

Another anagram would be carafe, which I assume you celebrated with one of your favorite wines (or coffee at the IHOP). :D-->

I believe I do, was Harrison Ford in it?

After doing a quick search, I've come to the conclusion I was being BS'ed by whoever told me that. :D-->

Another aside.

Last I heard, Cubby owned a hot dog joint on Rt. 17 South in Hasbrouck Heights, NJ. Oddly enough, it was called, "Cubby's".

***POsted by Abigail - sorry didn't realize 1000Names had been posting this morning***

LG, for someone who states they do not believe, you sure are defensive of your interpretation of the Bible. I would have expected, and understood, such a stance from some of our more religious friends around the cafe, but not from someone who doesn't believe what it says anyway.

I don't view the Bible as something literally penned by God. I view it as a somewhat historical document penned by men and written from man's perspective. Much is subject to interpretation.

Much has been left out for political/religious reasons. For example, the Catholic Bible has books the KJV does not. Likewise, the Jewish people have additional books they view in a religious content. The Muslem's though sharing a smilar background have gone in yet another direction.

For the life of me, I don't understand why someone would get so upset about people discussing different possibilities regarding what something means, or what actually occured. It is good to think outside the box. It is good to consider other perspectivies and possibilities.

Ditto on the Blackbird, Bluze. One of the things I liked about playing that song was the way your left hand took on the characteristic of a spider walking up the fretboard.

Again, I thank all of you.

Thank you all for your warm greetings.

Ex 10, most of them have. Still working on the others. :D-->

Yes Ron, I'm over the hill and picking up speed.

Dmiller, very clever.

And last but certainly not least, Abigail, my days have been MORE joyful since you came into mine. :o-->

Yes, we have noooooooo bananas..........

It was very early in my tractor trailer driving career, and I had a delivery in Scranton, PA. To say I was scared s***less, would be a gross understatement. Obviously, I made it home, but not without changing the underwear my mother always told me to keep clean in case I was ever in an accident.

What??? You didn't learn House of The Rising SUN??? :D-->

I used to practice in a local park. One thing (of many) that really annoyed me was when people would come up to me and ask if I knew any Led Zeppelin. Now mind you, I was playing an acoustic guitar. The other was the assumption was that Jimmy Paige was the ONLY reason to pick up a guitar.

For those interested, a little tidbit.

The woman singing with Meatloaf on Paradise By The Dashboard Light is Ellen Foley. I know, who in the hell is she??? She was the first public defender on Night Court.

I know everyone will sleep better tonight. :D-->

Adapted from "God Wants to Know," copyright © 1993 B.C. Brown, http://www.espressopress.com/ (though, I got it from CarTalk).

A little more levity.........

GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.

Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about your Deity?

___ Newspaper

___ Bible

___ Torah

___ Book of Mormon

___ Koran

___ Divine inspiration

___ Dead Sea Scrolls

___ My mama done tol' me

___ Near-death experience

___ Near-life experience

___ National Public Radio

___ Tabloid

___ Burning shrubbery

___ Other (specify): _____________

2. Which model Deity did you acquire?

___ Yahweh

___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak]

___ Jehovah

___ Jesus

___ Krishna

___ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak]

___ Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak]

___ Allah

___ Satan

___ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature

___ God 1.0a (hairy thunderer)

___ God 1.0b (cosmic muffin)

___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god

3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?

___ Yes

___ No

If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here. Please indicate all that apply:

___ Not eternal

___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire cosmos

___ Not omniscient

___ Not omnipotent

___ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations)

___ Permits sex outside of marriage

___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage

___ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Helms)

___ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people

___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched

___ Requires burnt offerings

___ Requires virgin sacrifices

___ Plays dice with the universe

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a Deity? Please check all that apply.

___ Indoctrinated by parents

___ Needed a reason to live

___ Indoctrinated by society

___ Needed focus in whom to despise

___ Imaginary friend grew up

___ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense

___ Graduated from the tooth fairy

___ Hate to think for myself

___ Wanted to meet girls/boys

___ Fear of death

___ Wanted to .... off parents

___ Needed a day away from work

___ Desperate need for certainty

___ Like organ music

___ Need to feel morally superior

___ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool

___ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it

5. Have you ever worshipped a Deity before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? Please check all that apply.

___ Mick Jagger

___ Rajanish

___ Baal

___ The almighty dollar

___ Bill Gates

___ Left-wing liberalism

___ The radical right

___ Ra

___ Beelzebub

___ Barney T.B.P.D.

___ The Great Spirit

___ The Great Pumpkin

___ The sun

___ Elvis

___ Cindy Crawford

___ The moon

___ TV news

___ Burning shrubbery

___ Other: ________________

6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? Please check all that apply.

__ Tarot __ Lottery __ Astrology

__ Television __ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers

__ Psychic Friends Network __ Dianetics __ Palmistry

__ Playboy and/or Playgirl __ Self-help books __ Sex, drugs, rock and roll

__ Biorhythms __ Alcohol __ Bill Clinton

__ Tea leaves __ EST __ CompuServe

__ Mantras __ Jimmy Swaggert __ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)

__ Human sacrifice __ Pyramids __ Wandering in a desert

__ Burning shrubbery __ Barney T.B.P.D. __ Barney Fife

Other:___________

7. God employs a limited degree of divine intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer (circle one)?

a. More divine intervention

b. Less divine intervention

c. Current level of divine intervention is just right

d. Don't know...what's divine intervention?

8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the following

(1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):

Disasters:

flood 1 2 3 4 5

famine 1 2 3 4 5

earthquake 1 2 3 4 5

war 1 2 3 4 5

pestilence 1 2 3 4 5

plague 1 2 3 4 5

spam 1 2 3 4 5

AOL 1 2 3 4 5

Miracles:

rescues 1 2 3 4 5

spontaneous remissions 1 2 3 4 5

stars hovering over jerkwater towns 1 2 3 4 5

crying statues 1 2 3 4 5

water changing to wine 1 2 3 4 5

walking on water 1 2 3 4 5

VCRs that set their own clocks 1 2 3 4 5

Saddam Hussein still alive 1 2 3 4 5

getting any sex whatsoever 1 2 3 4 5

9. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if necessary.)

If you are able to complete the questionnaire and return it to one of our conveniently located drop-off boxes by October 31 you will be entered in the One Free Miracle of Your Choice drawing (chances of winning are approximately one in 6.023 x 10 to the 23d power, depending on number of beings entered).

The only "men's" magazine which didn't have nude photos I can think of was the end of a title for an attorney.

This is probably common knowledge, but I've heard what they were actually singing was (or attempting to), In The Garden Of Eden. :P-->

I've fingered out my active x control problem. :o--> Not saying I'll be taking up residency here, but I should pop in from time to time. :D-->

Hey boys and girls,

Recent revolting development. It seems IE has blocked me from listening to the clips. Any help would be appreciated.

Mark,

The only thing done to the photo was resizing for posting. We were on our way back from a Pinewood Derby and the sign caught my eye. Not because it was for a church, but because I'm one of those damn people who has to proof everything I read.

Another thing I find odd is, the lunatic fringe of the religious right tends to be SUPER PATRIOTS. The AK-47 is a Russian made gun. Guess they don't care where their metaphors come from as long as it suits their purpose. :D-->

quote:

Or Red Skelton's bum?

Ah, Freddy the Freeloader rears his drunken head again.

One of the funnier moments on the show was when he would do advertisements for Guzzler's Gin. :D-->

Guess I'm the only one who doesn't know it. :(-->

It sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't place it.