I Love Bagpipes

Something I want to add (obviously) regarding the exercise I posted here.

Some Christians might view this exercise (which I know touches only a smidgeon regarding the subject of self awareness) as going within to "find" answers. Others may look at this as one being too self absorbed/preoccupied.

Might that be the case? Sure. Have I been there? Yes. Did it concern me when I was there? Some, but not overly.

The point is I was AWARE of what I thought/felt. Also I communicated quite a bit of what I wrote in the exercises with a trusted individual (outside of TWI) with whom I could bounce stuff off of.

This exercise won't work for everyone (and shoot might only have worked for me :blink: ).

What it did/has done for me was/has helped me become of aware of me: my heart, my rhythm, my body, my thoughts, my feelings. Through the process I became self exposed and turned my heart/soul more and more naked before God, nothing hidden consciously. I recognized I didn't/don't have answers in myself of myself. (Besides my "self" is actually in part a culmination of ancestry via biology & constitution, and experience/environment calculated.) For me I recognized that I cannot be fully filled without God, and ultimately without the Lord Jesus Christ as a real person in my life.

I focused on the emotional side of self awareness, because that is where my study has been....albeit selfish; my studies were to help meself. :) This topic is broader than emotions.

A few lines from Cry of the Soul help partially clarify thoughts/perceptions I am trying to put into words :

"(Emotions) are a voice that can tell us how we are dealing with a fallen world, hurtful people,and a quizzical God who seldom seems to be or do what we expect of Him. ......................................

.....We encourage honest inward examination for the purpose of gaining wisdom -- not only to explore the question 'what's going on here?' but even more, to respond to what we discover as we ask, 'what am I doing with God?' "

T-bone -- dont know where yet...used to work in xray in a hospital specializing in things like colostomies....ANd I have a bachelors in education and a daughter and husband with dyslexia. I love literacy/language/linguistics stuff and stay up on the studies but I also love the medical field.

As far as words as WORDS....I help those who can't find them to articulate to some degree that in many cases has no flourish.

Communication to others has a whole different slant than communicating to oneself in ones head or on paper.

WW what an interesting field of study! I've never persued either (communication/words and medical/health field) "professionally", but have been a peruser of studying both as a hobby and to help in areas I've worked in.

This stuff got me thinking lately about Helen Kellar (again), wondering what her inner voice/world/perceptions were like. I'd say her world was non-linear. Did she think with/in forms, rhythms, tastes, smells, gut feelings? I read a biography of her life some years back....incredible to me it is.

Good success on your endeavors WW!!

YW Potato and T-bone. Thank you backatcha too!!

hahahahaha Ex10...

Sponge Bob here too. Imagine that!!!

(It explains the parking-cone-moving syndrome. I wonder if Pirate has moved parking cones...Pirate?)

Tom Strange = Charlie Brown...I thought he'd be more like Snoopy?! :)

Neat stuff...this is...to moi. :)

I may have to bring up Heartmath again T-bone. Did you ever check it out? Okay if you didn't, but maybe sometime before you turn 97 you might look into it. By then I'm sure there will be much more scientific data explaining vibes, intuition, energy fields, etc.

(Potato if you have interest in this stuff: www.heartmath.org You have to register, but it is free. Lots of cool research in the field of "vibes", so to speak.)

Okay, now to finish the laborious journaling exercise I've been typing out. This is going somewhere.

Following are words to describe various emotions. One of the steps I listed previously is to pinpoint what one is experiencing/feeling.

Identifying (for me) what one is feeling takes away some of the "power" (if need be) that a particular emotion might exert. Not to suppress and not to necessarily act on it; but to identify it, sit with it, perhaps let it soak....and then release it/change it/regulate it/ whatever.... (Hope that makes some sort of sense. :blink: )

I become AWARE of what I am feeling in my body, gut, head, heart, etc.; AWARE of my autonomic/automatic responses. Once aware I can then decide whether or not to direct/change/act/idle/etc. (Or maybe just go drink a marguerita. )

This list is like an emotional thesaurus.

Since I can't get columns on this here screen, I'm putting this in a list form. Please excuse any typos.

This is from a handout "Emotional Regulation: Ways to Describe Emotions":

Love Words: love, adoration, affection, arousal, attraction, caring, charmed, compassion, desire, enchantment, fondness, infatuation, kindness, liking, longing, lust, passion, sentimentality, sympathy, tenderness, warm

Joy Words: joy, amusement, bliss, cheerfulness, contentment, delight, eagerness, ecstasy, elation, enjoyment, enthrallment, enthusiasm, euphoria, excitement, exhilaration, gaiety, gladness, glee, happiness, hope, jolliness, joviality, jubilation, optimism, pleasure, pride rapture, relief, satisfaction, thrill, triumph, zaniness, zest, zeal

Sadness Words: sadness, agony, alienation, anguish, crushed, defeat, dejection, depression, despair, disappointment, discontentment, dismay, displeasure, distraught, gloom, glumness, grief, homesickness, hopelessness, hurt, insecurity, isolation, loneliness, melancholy, misery, neglect, pity, rejection, sorrow, suffering, unhappiness, woe

Anger Words: anger, aggravation, agitation, annoyance, bitterness, contempt, cruelty, destructiveness, disgust, dislike, envy, exasperation, ferocity, frustration, fury, grouchiness, grumpiness, hate, hostility, irritation, jealousy, loathing, mean-spiritedness, outrage, rage, resentment, revulsion, scorn, spite, torment, vengefulness, wrath

Fear Words: fear, apprehension, anxiety, distress, dread, edginess, fright, horror, hysteria, jumpiness, nervousness, overwhelmed, panic, shock, tenseness, terror, uneasiness, worry

Shame Words: shame, contrition, culpability, discomposure, embarrassment, guilt, humilation, insult, invalidation, mortification, regret, remorse

Other Important Emotion Words:

Interest, excitement, curiosity, pique, intrigue.

Weariness, dissatisfaction, disinclination.

Shyness, fragility, reserve, bashfulness, coyness, reticence.

Cautiousness, reluctance, suspiciousness, caginess, wariness.

Surprise, amazement, astonishment, awe, startle, wonder.

Boldness, bravery, courage, determination.

Powerfulness, a sense of competence, capability, mastery.

Dubiousness, skepticism, doubtfulness.

Apathy, boredom, dullness, ennui, fidgetiness, impatience, indifference, listlessness.

I would simply revert to what I knew worked for me and shared that with others, while trying not to condemn myself for not "being up on the latest heavy teachings" ....

I just now read your post JL. Somehow I missed it when I posted before. Hmmm...what you stated is what I ended up doing many a time. It was as you stated "confusing," so I'd go back to what was working for ME.

Thanks JL, your whole post(s): well and succinctly stated. :)

Now for the "changing self talk" examples...... (I will get to the emotions list T-bone). :)

I can't figure out how to set up columns on this here screen, so I'll use abbreviations as thus:

ANT = Atomatic negative thought or negative self talk

Sp = Species of ANT or distortion

KtA = Kill the ANT or better self talk (The book states "postive" self talk, but the word "postive" has a negative connotaion to me, so I seldom use that word. )

For each ANT listed there is a counter KtA. These are simply examples.

ANT: You never listen to me. / I will always feel sad, miserable, lonely. / I will never succeed, achieve, be fulfilled.

Sp: Always/Never thinking

KtA: I get frustrated when you don't listen to me, but I now you have listened to me and will again. / These feelings will pass. / Things can change; many things are possible.

ANT: The boss doesn't like me. / S/he, they can perceive my inner tension, anxiety, nervousness.

Sp: Mind Reading

KtA: I don't know that. Maybe she's just having a bad day. Bosses are people too. / Others rarely notice or concern themselves with with my inner state.

ANT: The whole class will laugh at me.

Sp: Fortune telling

KtA: I don't know that. Maybe they'll really like my speech.

ANT: I'm stupid, dumb, a jerk, a loser...etc.

Sp: Labeling

KtA: Sometime I do things that aren't too smart, but I'm not stupid.

ANT: I, he, you should, must.......

Sp: Demands/guilt beating

KtA: I would like, prefer.......

ANT: I can't believe..... I can't understand.....

Sp: Denial (which is not listed in the distortions list)

KtA: It did happen. I can understand.

ANT: This is awful, horrible, unbearable...

Sp: Overreacting/magnification (the opposite would be minimization)

KtA: This is unforunate. How will it look in 5 years?

A little story: About 5 years ago, my pyschologist had me eliminate the word "should" from my vocabulary; I suffered from unrelenting standards and therefore engaged in internal flaggelation regularly. (Hmm...wonder where (at least partly) I learned that? ) I eliminated the word for about 2 or so years; it really helped me. :)

I perused (not fully read) this thread last night. Ex10 and I were discussing (prior to my perusal) health and she asked (not verbatum) how TWI would view someone with a heritary illness. I realized after answering her question I had talked in circles to answer her, and it bugged me.

Here I am. I was in TWI 28 freaking years. About 24 years of that time I suffered with chronic illness, at times severe. (I became ill with these chronic conditions after being involved for 3 years. Some of that health story is in "My Story" : "A Snippet..") One would think I would be able to definitively answer Ex10's freaking question!!! I don't think I'm stupid and I am sometimes articulate, even when I speak. :blink:

This really bothered me. I sat with pen and paper and started to list stuff. What I listed were contradicitons. I realized I can't definitively answer that question without writing a dissertation!!! (and even then I don't know if I could definitively answer her question)....because practice/viewpoints would change and morph through the years according to leadership at the top and views varied depending on leadership at the local level and the experiences of that leadership.

As I perused this thread some of the practices I experienced and some I didn't. It all depends upon when one was involved and what his/her local leadership practiced. I simply cannot emphasize this local leadership aspect enough. As we all know TWI emphasizes the importance to (as much as "available") seek counsel within "the household," and if a person goes to someone for counsel s/he should follow that counsel. (That is one reason spouse and I seldom consulted Way leadership on personal issues; we might disagree with the counsel and not follow it. We would most often make our decision and then maybe inform leadership.)

I do notice that what Motherof2 states in the opening is not typical TWI behaviour as of 1 year ago within my context of what was my TWI community/relationships. But, it could be typical where her relatives are involved and depending on her relatives' experiences throughout the years. It all shapes one's perspective, that is her relatives' perspectives would be shaped (of course) by their experiences and leadership through the years.

Okay T-bone, you asked for the "distortions" list.

You will recognize some of these from Burns' book. This is a compilation of his work and two other authors and they overlap. Two of the books contain samples of ways to change self talk to help change thinking patterns...which in turn help change neural circuitry...which all helps with self awareness. (Round and round and round we go!!!!!! weee!!!!!!!!!)

Excuse any typos. :)

All-or nothing thinking/"alwyas/never" thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories. Thinking in words like always, never, no one, everyone, every time, everything.

Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

Mental Filter/Focusing on the negative: You dwell on the negatives seeing only the bad in the situation, ignoring the positives.

Discounting the postive: You insist your accomplishments or positive qualities "don't count."

Mind Reading: Believing that you know what others are thinking, even though they haven't told you or you have no evidence of what they are thinking.

Fortune Telling: Prediciting the worst possible outcome to a situation, arbitrarily predicting that things will turn out bad.

Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importnce inappropriately.

Emotional Reasoning/Thinking with your Feelings: Your reason from how you feel, believing negative feelings without ever questioning them: "I feel like an idiot, so I must be one."

Guilt beating/"Should Statements"/Demands: You criticize yourself or other people with "shoulds, shouldn'ts, oughts, musts, have tos."

Labeling: Attaching a negative label to yourself or someone else.

Personalization/Blaming: Investing innocuous events with personal meaning. You blame yourself for something you weren't entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that your own attitudes and behavior might contribute to a problem.

I'll post the sample ways to change self talk next....maybe... ;)

Is that pic for real? By the guy that does those 3-D sidewalk pics?

Regardless, he/she must have dropped too much acid.

And listened to too much Pink Floyd.

Dang....can you imagine walking into that bathroom tripping? :blink: Shivers.....hee

Glad those days are bygone!

Thanks for the link dmiller. I have the song on a CD "Twisted Christmas." (My sound on my puter is busted; I must get it fixed.) The CD has other twisted funnies on it.

I'm puter ignorant when it comes to posting songs that one can listen to on their puter. So you will need to know the tune to "Tidings..." to appreciate this.

Hear are different words to an old Christmas carol, "Tidings of Comfort and Joy". No offense intended. (I don't know the author.) Thanks to Topoftheworld for finding the words.

LOLOLOL

Notta, I like Taco Bell too.

Suda, I heard on the news sometime in the past few weeks, that TB is phasing out all(?) trans fats in their foods. There are one or two other fast food places that are going to serve less tf as well; however, McDonalds had no comment.

The following is ..... but it is Christmas...

The Taco Bell sign reminds me of a Christmas card I sent out a few years ago:

On the front was a picture of Santa in his sleigh which his reindeer had landed atop (and crushed) an outhouse. Open the card and the it states: " 'I said Schmidt house!!!!!!' " Had to see it; it was classic. But I could only send it to certain folks who would really appreciate it.

Bringing this up for anyone who wants to peruse it.

It is a segway (so to speak) in light of the "Self-awareness" thread in "About the Way."

Sirguess's last post brought "play" to my mind. One activity I enjoy is simply observing kids (ages 2 to around 7) absorbed in unstructured/self structured play. When my children were young, I could sit and watch as long as they could play. It had a deep, calming effect on me. They were creative, fabricating villages around the house/yard and dialoguing back and forth with their dinosaurs or washcloths or whatever thing they decided to animate.

Anyway, thoughts of play brought to mind something I posted a while back. It is from my journaling, from April, 2003. It is thoughts about play:

"Learning to play again is foundational to experiencing the fullness of life.

What is play? Freedom. Freedom of expression. Freedom of movement. Freedom of thought. Swings and creeks. Daisies. Bracelets in the sun.

Play has no time boundaries. Play has no schedule. Play flows and ripples like a creek with various dips, turns, waterfalls, and rate of flow. Sometimes it flows quickly and then gently slows into a quiet, relaxing swimming hole. Continue down the creek and the flow picks up speed again. Play is not stagnant. Play is open to unlimited possibilities.

Play is a child's work, a child's occupation. It is a child's calling and vocation. Play develops neural circuitry within that child's system that is crucial to the mental, emotional, and physical health and wellness of that child. I believe in nuerogenesis. Maybe then...as I learn to play again, my system will respond with the genesis of youthful, exurberent, fresh, joyous, satisfied, stimulating, flexible, intuitive neural circuitry.

My....play is a deep subject."

End entry.

I think I'll bring that thread up. It's in "Open."

T-bone, sorry about the typos and lay out of my post about the journaling/thought/self-analysis "exercise." I was in a little mountain town using the library internet. My time ran out and folks were waiting to use the puter. I knew my time was running out so I hit "add reply" and blink!....off went the puter. Alas I wasn't at a puter until the next day and was unable to "clean up" my post. :) I'll post the distortions and emotions lists sometime this week. :)

I second that!!!

This one was a big one for me, and as soon as I learned othewise, I rejoiced!!!

It's all about HIM, not me.........................as I build that relationship, HE renews me. He does the work.

It's not like the Way used to teach. They were so scared to allow the Lord to be in charge.....................of anything!

:blink:

Regarding journaling....I agree that it can be laborious. But that isn't a bad thing; I labored with childbearing, yet the outcome is new life. I do cheat in journaling because I know shorthand, so the physical act is less laborious. I prefer pen and book to keyboard and screen, but that is just me.

So, in light of laborious, the following exercise is just that: laborious. Yet it helped me to be aware of my presence, my gut, my thoughts. THEN hopefully, I made more Godly and honest (or at least somewhat close to it) decisions on whatever I was dealing with.

(BTW Oldiesman, self conditioned and self aware are two different things. I figure you know that, but just to clarify.....)

I used to have to do the following exercise a few times a week (talk about laborious!!!) I don't know for how many months I did that, but it was many. Some may say, "That sure is a lot of work and is time consuming." However, the exercise might take me and hour or so which was less time than I would spend "looping" in my head had I not done the exercise. Whatever the issue (emotionally charged) I could get it out and balance it.

This exercise is a combination from 3 different books and a handout. T-bone, you have probably read about this in Burn's book.

1. Write out the situation: who? what? when? where?

If you can't think of the situation simply go to step 2. AS you srite situations may surface. There is

no right/wrong way to do this exercise.

2. List any moods or negative feelings. (The emotions list can help identify/put words to any feelings.) Rate each mood or feeling to its intensty (20%, 40%, 100%, etc.).

3. Write down any automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). Notice THOUGHTS, not feelings.

If you can trace the feeling/mood from #2 to an incident, try to place yourself mentally back in that

situation. What were your THOUGHTS?

4. Label each ANT according to it's distortion(s). (The "distortions" list cna help label these.)

4a: If it helps, identify evidence that supports some of the ANTs and then identify evidence that

does not support the ANT.

5. Write a rational, balanced alternative response for each ANT. Rate how much I believe in each

rational response. (0% - 100%)

6. Go back to step 2 and rerate each mood. (0% - 100%)

That is the exercise. It has worked EVERY time I have done it. Over time I began to need it less and less and became more self aware. I have only needed to do it a handful of times the past couple years.

I can post the emotions and distortions lists if you want me to.

T-bone you are such a gem. Tonto is sure blessed to have your around!!! (And equally you are blessed to have her too! :) )

...ooops - almost forgot - the reason I started this in About the Way - was also for thoughts about doctrines, programs and practices in TWI that hindered the self-awareness process.

This subject scrambles my brain..many thoughts, many thoughts. There are things that I feel regarding your quote above, that I am unable as of yet to put into words...and may never be able to. Following are a couple subjects that come to mind. There is a lot of thought/experience/biblical contemplation behind the following observations regarding this subject:

A perhaps doctrine: Somewhere along the way I remember being taught (or it was insinuated strongly) that there was no such thing as intuition and it was just a cover for devil spirit possession. That pretty much snuffs out self awareness.

A practice: Rote memorization of scripture for problem solving, like one size fits all. I'm all for meaningful memorization (if that is what meets the need for that situation for that individual.) Scripture memorization has helped/aided/healed me, but it was because of a heart understanding and God's spirit within showing me how that scripture applied to my circumstance, heart, emotion, etc. TWI did teach to look at the context of the scripture as written in the Bible (well their context), but fell short (supressing, impeding, hindering) in allowing God to work within an individual's context of life...to work out his/her own salvation with reverence, awe, and trembling.

I'll have to write the self anlysis to self awareness stuff later, when I have more time. It is sort of lengthy and will probably take a couple posts.

I know this thread is more about self awareness than journaling, but the two are related for me. Self awareness is part of dreams, yes?....knowing/deciding what one wants? being aware of that individuality?

Here are a couple things I posted regarding journaling from another thread:

Post 1: Posting on GSC is like journaling in a way....except most folks will sensor. (And we all hope we will. ) When you personally journal there is NO sensorship. And if a person keeps at it, the beautiful and the "ugly" will manifest.

Another thing journaling has done for me is to help me embrace goals. I used to hate the word "goals" because it was another darned standard that I would fail at. And still I prefer the word "dreams." After about 4 years of journaling I realized I had dreams/goals that were coming to pass. I began to notice that these goals/dreams were some of the thoughts I had been writing for years. It is a nice side benefit. Yet at the same time I realize that not all my dreams will come true (like growing gills and being able to stay under the ocean water for as long as I want..hee)....but there is always room to hope. Hope. Hope. Hope. One can't go wrong with hope. Even if I die, and I die hoping...it makes the process gentler.

One thing so fun/deep about journaling (for me) is that ANYTHING goes. This took awhile for me to develop...to not be afraid. I'm sure some of that fear was because of my TWI mindset.

Oh T-bone!!!! Three of my favorite subjects: Journaling, TWI, and self awareness. :)

I confess.....I am an addicted Journaler. :)

I eyed a picture some years ago. Instead of a "Gone Fishing" sign, the picture had a "Gone Journaling" sign. Wierd....I know. Nothing new for me (the wierd).

I have not time at the moment to post the many thoughts in my head regarding this subject. However, this is a refreshing thread to me and I might post a bit over the next week or so.

Sometimes I think people think of journaling as just writing about problems. Sort of like some folks think the really legitimate time to pray is about problems. (Not saying anyone hear has implied that.) Yet, I have some of my most joyful times in journaling. Yeah..wierd again. hee

I'm differeent from Ex, in that journaling many times helped/helps me get to the point of working out a relationship with someone. (But I understand what she is saying, in that a person can get "stuck" in his/her pages. Yet I believe if he/she keeps writing, action will result.) I am able to see more clearly before I approach the person, able to be less judgmental (toward myself and them). I have shared from my journals publically. It isn't easy and can be scarey. But I'd like to think it has helped someone somewhere along the way.

Waterbuffalo, I read that book! :) Did yout ever see Breathnach's scrapbook journal? Really cool. I gave a few away as gifts some Christmases ago. Maybe our next face to face I can show it to you, since you are a Breathnach fan. Did you ever read Cameron's The Artist's Way?

T-bone I want to dialogue on this thread about the relationship about self analysis and self awareness, 2 different things...but how (for me) jounaling led to self analysis which led to self awareness. (I even have a technique/exercise I used to do it. I'm not a formula person, but the exercise helped me.) And I want to bring up some stuff from Watchman Nee's The Normal Christian Life regarding this topic, and perhaps some stuff from something W**n* Cl*pp taught on "Hidden Chambers" regarding the heart. But like I said time is prohibitive at the moment.

Hi motherof2. My wife and I are the fatherandmotherof2, too. If those are two children, we may be on the same page. An equal ratio of adult-to-child always seemed to make sense to us. :)

I don't believe the statement "Jesus is God" is true as a simple statement of fact. I do believe Jesus is of God, and from God and a part of God. The son of God, and that He is the way that I can as a human understand and come to a knowledge of God that's meaningful. If God is everything He seems to be He is difficult if not impossible to completely understand or articulate from this perspective I had.

Jesus Christ appears to be presented in the gospels as the person who literally brought God "to earth" as His son and allows me to see God, in His life, as the son of God. That is a really incredible thing. I know that God forgives and something of how He forgives because I can see that forgiveness personnifed in Jesus. I know He loves and I can understand what that love is like because I can see that love expressed and lived in the life of Jesus. As the son of God I can make him "lord" and have God's will be the dominant force in our relationship, which includes Jesus Christ, right now in current experience.

Belief and faith are to me, two different things. There are things I "believe", some I'm sure of, others not so sure of but I would claim to believe them and act accordingly.

The basic core of my "Christian faith" is based on what amounts to the relationship I have with both God and Jesus Christ and their relationship with me. To me, there's no question about what's real in that and I place my faith - my actions today and hopes for the future - on that. Both belief and faith are always growing and changing as I grow and change.

Many things I thought I understood 30 years ago have changed, and I'm sure will continue to change. I don't have a problem with that because I know I don't have it all figured out and may never. I don't - believe - others do either and so I don't hold anyone responsible to know all-see all and have all the answers for me or anyone.

The New Testament in the bible frequently mentions grace and mercy, for good reason. The average person isn't all that bad, given a fair shake, but if life had it's way so many of us would end up taking long walks off short piers. We need a break if we're going to make anything of this life and I believe and have faith that God has done exactly that through His son Jesus Christ. :)

However, most of us with good memories of time in twi now have concluded that

the good times we had were paid for by horrible things done to some of our

brethren in Christ. You were scarred for life? Great-neither was I. However, that

does not excuse the crimes performed, and the harms inflicted, which were

done in the name of the good we experienced.

Deep ouch ........ :( :blink: :(

WW, you did it again.

Thanks for articulating something I've felt but have been unable to specificaly identify/articulate.

What we miss about fellowship is the positive mind, the renewed mind, loving care ect. Little things like giving and recieving. In order to have inflow you have to have outflow..........little things that are so easy to forget. Reminders. Reminding one another of the simple tricks to the spiritual walk. Ministering to one another. I notice some life just from posting here. It is "believing action" Moving. God works with is as we act. All good stuff that if your not involved with others just kind of gets put on the shelf..............

What I look for in fellowship is mutual respect, mutual love, mutual ministering.

This brings to mind Hebrews 10:23 -24a: "And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and nobel activities. Not forsaking or nelecting to assemble together..." It is a Godly desire and hunger.

As Evan stated many churches now have home meetings or cell groups.

I left TWI last year after 28 years.

I first turned to a "splinter group" and received great help there. Since then other people (non-Way and exWay) have all contributed. I have endeavored to remain open to people God has put in my path, regardless of their demoninational/splinter group/etc. affiliation. I even had a long conversation a few weeks ago with someone still in TWI, someone dear to me with whom I haven't spoken in 7 years. Even he had things to say that I had to ponder and decide where in my heart to put. (Hopefully, he will ponder the things I said to him as well.)

Within 5 months of my leaving TWI my husband left. Within a few months of him leaving, our home became a "landing place" for other folks leaving TWI. None of us have a desire to "lead" anything. We now meet once a week, have had guest teachers, endeavor to have open and honest dialogue, etc. We do not subscribe to any one organization and some of us are even going to a Christmas Eve service at a local church. We do not have an appointed "leader", but rather decide month by month/week by week how to proceed. Granted most of us left TWI just this past year so we are unlearning/learning. A few of us left 5 years ago.

My experience with GSC is different from Stub1; I have received help here, in spite of the varying viewpoints and the TWI "bashing" that goes on. (I admit that I too have done a little "bashing.")

My situation/circumstance is quite different than yours (of course). Regardless, God will get the two of you where your need can be met; of that I have no doubt. As you have stated, just continue to take some action when something tugs on your heart.

BTW: How did I miss Stub1's post? :blink: Was it here all along?