Amazingrace

Thank you all for your responses. I just need to take each and every situation and analyze it the best I can.

TWI probably did have their own agenda for the FEAR teaching.

When I started this topic, I had a ton of anxiety in me over taking a flight... sounds stupid to those who fly all the time, but I couldn't get rid of it. I felt that I shouldn't be afraid to fly, but I had a hard time putting it in perspective.... smiling at my kids and telling them how excited I was... how happy I was to be flying away on vacation... but falling apart inside.

Statistics show, flying is waaaay safer than driving. I couldn't justify the fear, and eventually it did pass. Eventually, I was peaceful about flying. No anxiety while boarding. My smiles and excitement were real inside and out.

On take-off one of the engines failed. Time for concern. I was concerned that the plane would get a quick look over, a quick fix, and we'd be sent on our way, but that didn't happen. After a fair amount of time had passed, we were given another plane.

And so, I'll continue to struggle sometimes with fear about things I have no control over. But, hopefully, I'll get throught it.

Now.... there's a giant false elephant in the middle of the hotel pool.... (no lie)....coincidence or are you just making fun of me???

T-Bone,

Awesome topic. :)

But I must confess, I have to do some reading before I can intelligently post.

D. Amen's books were referred to me a long time ago, but I had so much going on back then, I never read any.

I attended a few seminars on brain development in abused and neglected children... in the hopes of gaining insight on how the brain forms in these kinds of children and to recognize their difference in the "reasoning" process.

I'm currently reading "The Emotional Brain" by Joseph LeDoux. Not sure if I'll get any insight as to the topic of this thread, but I've sure picked up a variety of very interesting reads from the thread for the future.

Any comments on LeDoux?

dmiller and ILB.

Penguin,

I've been out of twi since '84. Our experiences are probably very different.

You are right in your description of the group... it's just that twi had very little negative

effect on me (and you'll be wondering how I could say this when I do finally muster

the courage to post about my personal abuse, but I'll explain it when I post it).

OK...gotta admit to being confused spiritually also!

I'm glad people don't look down on you when you tell them where you've been.

I've been asked by church members "how did you get de-programmed?"

I let them know very little "programming" took place and just state that I'm in the

life-long process of reinventing my spirituality.

The outreach ministry of my church is the exact same mission of my heart.

I want to be accepted by the members not only to be part of something bigger

than myself but also, because I desire to partake in missions around the world

which are near and dear to me.

In the beginning of my WOW year, I confided in a corp person about my insecurities regarding the upcoming year.

He told me I had a lot of fear and that most fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

This saying helped me a lot, not only in my WOW year, but throughout the years.

I was just wondering.... was this a teaching directly from the Way Corp?

Has anyone ever heard this saying.... and if so, was it through TWI?

East??? That means me! I'll try to grow it and see what happens. The soil here is very acidic. Maybe that's the key... but I'll do a bit of reasearch before I try.

Thank you for letting me know it can be grown at all.

Mark,

Thanks so much for post #5. It contains many good points to consider when trying to find an understanding as to "what feels right" to belive.

I joined a Bible Study. All I can say is, "this is tough!".

Many of the teachings of the church go along with Dorothy Moore, Joyce Myers and Rev. Stanley. That's ok by me, I guess. I mean... afterall... I have listened to all three of these preachers, sometimes on a regular basis, since leaving twi.

But even something as simple as a bible study gets all bunked up. The last study kept referring to the Books of Timothy. The preacher kept saying how he loved Paul so much for writing 1&2 Timothy.

Now... my Bible states that the Books of Timothy probably were not written by Paul, but by some of his faithful followers. Bottom line is: there's an argument for both sides as to the authorship.

I found myself getting caught up in the technicality of the authorship of Timothy instead of what was being taught. It was difficult to remain focused on the teaching.... but, eventually, I DID get focused. I answered many questions the leader threw out regarding scripture. I waited for others to answer first. They were simple questions... really simple questions (why was Abraham chosen?...). In the end, I let the leader answer the questions himself. I wasn't embarrassed to answer.... just didn't want to appear like I was showing off. Again, this is really tough!.

The whole bible study experience gave me an insight as to how much Word these people knew. I found myself wondering "what kind of church is this?" Found myself knowing that there's lots of room to grow in this church at any level, and that's a good thing.

I can't be bothered with trying to decipher who wrote the Books of Timothy. For now, I'm going to have to ignore clashes of thought on trivial matters. There's too much I like about this church right now.

Whether they will continue to like me remains to be seen. More than one person asked what church I used to belong to... Uhg humm....gosh, wish I would have read some of these threads which say not to tell people you were in the Way BEFORE I told people I was in the Way.

I suppose if they can't forgive me for making a mistake OR if they feel I am a threat to them... well, I suppose I'm in the wrong church then. But as a rule, from now on, I won't tell.

That does it!

I'll save all the dark chocolate from my Easter Basket for you Krys.

Sure beats the price of the laser.

Out and About,

Thank you for your personal testimony of the tribulations endured while in twi.

I saw you repeatedly doing your best to serve God throughout your story, but never getting the credit you deserved.

You did an awesome job in describing it all and I am thankful for every word.

I'm sorry you went through so much hell, but thankful to God you found your way out.

Just when I posted somewhere else that you'll not see me arguing about anything...

I'm so tired of defenses that take away personal responsibility. If someone is truly mentally ill, that's one thing. But this guy (and many others who pull this crap) are functioning members of the community. When will someone just say "It's me, I did it, I'm just a sick ****, put me away".

Many truly mentally ill people function in society everyday. Serial killer, Ted Bundy and that BTK guy were capable, functioning members of society with extreme mental illnesses. One of the most prominent men in our community, a lawyer, developer, governor's aid, is now serving a life sentence for murdering his girlfriend, the governor's secretary. Proclaims his innocence to this day. He snapped. An obsessive compulsion made him snap.

Some mentally ill people do confess and say put me away. Others have split personalities. There are all kinds of reasons people don't confess, probably fear of what will happen if they do, being the greatest reason, but I don't really know.

Yes, Satori, rape is about violence and control, not the need to satisfy a sex drive.

In states where death penalities are allowed for murder, murder rates are higher.

It's been proven throughout history death for a crime does not diminish the crime.

As a "thinking parent" the only thing I can do is educate my children. Evil will lurk in all areas of society. People "cross the line everyday". If I fail to point out the dangers to my kids, if I fail to drill into them the steps that are necessary to keep themselves safe, then I've not done my job well.

I don't leave my kids alone on the computer. I thought most of the places they were going to were harmless. Last night, a review of the "history" proved me wrong. Innocent games from reputable web sites often have stuff attached to them. But I found some "sick stuff", not illegal, just "sick".

There is no one in my household who would have gone to some of the sites I found. My interent provider's response was "they must have gone there if it's in your history." I didn't dare open the names of the sites.... just by the names of them, I knew I would be highly offended.

Watching my son on the computer today, it was obvious how some of this crap got on our computer. Instead of typing "stickman games" in the search engine, he forgot the "t". Innocent mistake, but not good. It was a good opportunity for a talk. It was a good opportunity to see I need to monitor "everything".

I have three words only --- MAY HE FRY

and HE DESERVES TO, but will he?

Why do I feel that because he's in a position of power that he'll get off with a slap on the hand?

If justice is served here, he'll get and deserves the maximum sentence.

This is truly outrageous.

I'm two hours from NY and two hours from DC. One hour from a major National AF Base and five hours from Pittsburgh. I travel through all these cities often.

On 9/11, I felt safe nowhere. I felt smack in the middle of hell.

100 years from now would be too soon for me to see it on the big screen.

It's a reality too close to home. I'm sure others will feel differently and they are certainly entitled.

Bramble,

Tappering off steroids... progress, for sure. And yes, a low scarring factor IS in your favor.

Hope you make it through allergy season without too much discomfort.

So sorry I haven't been able to find my anti-inflamatory list. I do know it had a bunch

of foods that I just don't like, but maybe you would.

dmiller,

Thanks for the suggestion to replace sugar. I don't use a lot, but cinnamon may do the trick on oats or cream of wheat. I'll keep my coffee with some cream.. have a difficult time drinking it black, but wouldn't ruin the taste (as I did years ago) with sugar.

I think we'd have been great friends my mom and me. I am sure your parents knew you loved them and were just a teen, they were once teens as well. Wierd creature the teen. So young, yet they know it all and the same parent who used to wipe their bottoms become the enemy.

((((Dot)))) ((((NL))))

Yes, I'm sure you would have been great friends. Your mom was wise to tell you so.

Good point about teens, Dot.

Hard as I try, I'm not always successful in showing my kids I'm not the enemy. It's the nature of the age, I suppose... head-strong. I do know.... whatever it is they scream at me.... no matter how they feel.... I do know they don't mean it. I do tell them this. It only makes them angrier, but it's ok. Some day they will understand.

They were my step in "moving forward". We adopted them when it was clear I would never get pregnant. Time in itself has been a healer to me in many areas, but I don't mean to say that it would take away the hurt of losing someone you love. I've not been down that road yet, but I am very sure I won't be saying "this too shall pass".

Somebody mentioned Cream of Wheat! It's a favorite around here.

But I'm still on the diet so I haven't indulged. I suppose if I didn't load it

up with sugar, it would be ok.

Bramble, do you know how long you would have to stay on steroids for your condition? Only asking because sometimes the doctors state a certain amount of time to strengthen the system.

Temple Lady,

Despite 50's and rain here in PA, I'm doing my best to keep a sunny attitude.

It was 73 last week, but that's typical for around here. Warm/Cold, Warm/Cold.

I love visiting GSC, but there aren't too many things you'll find me arguing about right now.

My life outside the cafe is challenging and sometimes very stressful. I just visit here for the fun of it and for learning. I could jump into some of the arguments. Others are way too deep for me.

But... it's just not my way.

Nothing like being outdoors in great weather to make one feel good again.

I'm hoping it warms up your way real fast. :)

BTW, do you also live in Mi? I'm a bit confused.

Utopia preformed live at the Royal Oak Theatre (Michigan) in 1981

Ahhh, yes.... the Royal Oak Theatre... how quickly one forgets.

1981.... my life was wrapped up in twigs then.... most of them, ironically, in RO.

Didn't know much about anything else then.

1981... a fog year for sure for me. I was 23 and naivee.

Thank you, Krysilis.

The Sacriment of Shaving.... I don't even have a guess as to what that's about, but I'm all ears... or eyes...

David, I've not begun to read but WILL. Your abiilty to "pull things out of a hat" never ceases to amaze me. I imagine I'm not alone in saying "thank you!"

I've always been a TR fan. I, too, am surprised he's teaming up with the Cars, but hey, that's show business.

I recently bought his greatest hits CD. I made huge mistake and bought a "remix". NOT the same, but I didn't know any better. Now I know.

If performing, where does one perform in Royal Oak? I know RO, MI well, but can't think of where one would give a concert there.

Curiosity got the best of me...

I had to know about this thread called THE.

Night after night I read and I read

but with little understanding of what was being said.

I clicked on places called the real "THE"

but a full understanding I just could not see.

I admit I didn't read every single post

but I did detect a race as to who had the most.

Resigned myself to Newbie stupidity

Just couldn't grasp the "THE" validity.

Then one day I read Raf's creative origin of THE

and David generously followed with original stories from THE.

And now I am ever so thankful for all to see,

I have a little understanding as to the thread called THE.

Bramble,

My diet probably can't be found on the internet. It's a combination of all the things that have worked for me in the past. I've tried so very many diets (Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage Soup...) and have been successful with all, but...

I have problems sticking to any one diet for more than three weeks, so I tried to devise a combination of things... foods that I love and that are healthy, so that when the three-week time period is up, it won't be difficult to stay on the diet if I desire to lose more weight.

A herniated disk in my neck last October has prevented me from weight-lifting for a while. The lack of lifting put an automatic 15 pounds on me. I was already 10 pounds overweight. I am committed to a good diet right now because I need to feel good about my physical self again. Amazing machines our bodies are.

I guess my diet could be summed up as low calories and low carbohydrates and an occasional "cheat".

I'll post the anti-inflamatory list of foods when I find the sheet they are listed on. I filed it..... um....hmmm. Might be easier to ask chiropractor for another one.

I could be wrong, but I think Trader Joe's (are they national yet) sells wild salmon. I never thought to buy it in a can... so that's something I could also try. I have very little time to cook although I love to do it.

The Girl Scouts of America warmly thank you for your support!

We're in our 6th year of Girl Scouts and find ourselves inundated with cases of scrumptious cookies each year. The garage... the freezer... the cupboards...

they're everywhere.

Dosidos are my favorite. I ALWAYS say, "I'll just have a few".

But I have no control when it comes to this cookie.

A "few" turns into many, and before long, (but not too long)

the entire box is gone (and who drank all the milk???).

Confession IS good for the soul.

Oh...... the price I pay (see Perricone Diet thread), but it was worth it!

BTW, if any of you know my chiropractor, personal trainer, or pastor, please don't tell them about this post. The first two would condemn me for contaminating my body. The third would condemn me for not sharing.

Wow! I checked out the website and was surprised to find that this diet is quite similar to what I'm already doing.

I've been dieting for nine days now. It's part of the reason I don't post much. An awful excuse, I know, but it's hard to sit down at the computer without a bag of "something" at my side.

My own version of dieting consist of a list of foods given to me by my chiropractor. They are known to reduce inflamation. The majority of them are listed on the Perricone Diet.

I really have no time to cook up anything for breakfast, but hard-boiled eggs work well for me. When my doctor gave me the list "eggs" were listed in the "inflamatory" group, but he did tell me that the latest and greatest news was, based on an entirely new study, eggs were found to be "neutral"...

I haven't eaten any wild salmon, but I am stocked with tuna, halibut and cod.

I've tried to cut out all refined sugar. I eat non-salted roasted almonds to snack on and drink lots of water.

I'm not ready to get on the scale yet, but I do notice my clothes are fitting much better. Can't really say there's an improvement in my skin, but I think it's still too early to determine effects on skin.

I'll have to look into where wild salmon can be purchased.... and then.... if I can (or want to) afford it.

In the meantime, I'll ask my chiro about th diet. I do respect his opinion.

A very touching story of triumph.

Thank you for sharing it. :)

Yes, Belle, the word "wish" just wasn't allowed.

IMO, I do think it is indicative of regrets. I interpret the epitaph

to be saying, as igotout, suggested, "I'm sorry".

Of course, there's no way vp would be able to comprehend

all that he had to be sorry for, but, IMO, I feel he knew he had

messed up big-time.

In '83 my WOW sister was married to another WOW. Didn't seem strange to me then, but it sure does now, considering they'd only known each other a matter of months...hmmmmm.

My husband (who was then my boyfriend) was best man and I was maid of honor. The wedding took place on a southern plantion, complete with southern mansion where the reception was held. Family was flown in from both sides. It was a picture perfect day and I've got an album full of them. I think the BC presided over the ceremony.... no glitches, beautiful ceremony, full of a mixed batch of people.

I left twi upon completion of my wow year, married the following year. It went well despite the predictions of people in the ministry. Almost 22 years later, it's still going well.