grand-daughter

Awww, I wish I could have a dog again.

Hi Pinklady,

I kind of have a similar situation so I know your pain. I too was in a splinter group where there was a program for the kids and throughout the years I lost all say over what they did or where they went. I am now divorced and he is still there as well as my 19 year old daughter.

I have been able to take 4 kids out but only 2 live with me now because of all they pain we suffered while there. I just wrote my daughter a letter expressing some things she don't know and my heart about her and the group I pray to God that she hears me and leaves.

I will keep you in my prayers. It has been 3 years for us as well that I have been out and seen my daughter or my ex has seen his other children. Stay strong in Him.

Granddaughter

That is so funny! It's true I think it was Gods little way of giving us women some control so to speak. Women and I think especially moms have this look that could just melt you if she wanted it to.

Whenever I was upset with my daughter all I had to do was look at her and she would burst out in tears and the look doesn't have to be a mean one it just has to show disaapointment and wisdom.

Glad nobody was hurt but you had it coming...haha!

Oh God all of this double standard stuff rings so true where I was too.

Our boys couldn't even call there own sister by her shortened name or go on the other side of the barn except under strict supervised work. And if they so much as looked at a girl....oh crap

But the leaders sons did no wrong!

So as I said I would start with my introduction to fellowship:

So as I was saying my friend introduced me to this guy named David. I was of course unsure about being with anyone ever again but I agreed to meet him. He was drummer in her boy-friends band. I honestly didn’t think it would work at first because I’m kind of the shy type until I get to know you, well I used to be and he wanted me to be a part of a practical joke right of the bat. But lo and behold we did start talking through some unfortunate fighting that occurred by my ride home, which I wanted no part in so he offered. The weeks went on and he started to practically cling to my side. But I was fine with it because he was always a gentleman and he shared The Word of God with me. We would stay up all hours of the night just talking and talking, it was great. Sooner or later we just became a couple and he moved in. With him he brought tons of books. Oh I was in heaven so to speak. I devoured them. That was in 1990. He wasn’t even twigging at the time but I did talk him into going back. I followed him after a few weeks. I loved it. My first twig coordinators became very good friends of mine. She and I even started running a children’s fellowship in my apartment.

While going to twig I heard of this class called PFAL. I was really excited to go although a little scared. Being that I had read all the books I knew I would learn more about speaking tongues. I really wanted it but didn’t realize how bound up with fear I was until that last class of course. The people were nice and this was the first time I had met whom I would later call my Father in The Word, V.B. Well actually let me share this, although everyone was nice I still had the feeling especially around the women that I was less than they.

So anyway when the time came for us to speak in tongues I couldn’t do it. I was so upset and afraid that I ran out into the night in the cold with no coat and no idea of where I really was. I don’t remember who chased me down but I was thankful they did. V.B. took me into a bedroom and after much work with me somehow I finally did it. OK, so he had to yell at me, lol. I was so amazed by the fact that even I could do it. I was embarrassed though because I felt like everyone was waiting for V.B. and I was taking his time. But I never felt so loved by anyone in my life at that moment. Years later I would be teased about my little running habit but I’ll get to that.

So as time went on David and I continued to go to fellowship. I was knick-named the sponge because of my great desire to learn. I would ask so many questions and I ate, drank, and slept The Word. I never cried with joy so much before as when I led my own three children into speaking in tongues. I was so gun-ho. I loved it the few times we went out witnessing, I spoke to anyone and everyone I could about the wonderful works of God.

Time passed and things stayed the same as far as twig. It was loving and fun. David and I were even considered the twig leaders helpers. But things started falling apart between David and I. I can’t say why because to this day I don’t know why. He just stopped talking to me and we began to fight all the time. We never spent time with one another any longer and our relationship even began to get physically abusive. We still weren’t married yet even though we had a baby together. I just figured it was pressure and just tried to live in forgiveness. I had at times confided in my twig leaders about the abuse. She told V.B. at one point I know and this probably should have been my first red flag but it didn’t register with me. V.B. called me and we discussed the situation some. He said, ”Well you spread your legs.” That was that. I felt stuck because of my great desire to be right before God that I stayed and endured it.

A lot of things get fuzzy for me at this point because I think I was just trying to escape into the Word and be what God wanted me to be to let things really sink in. Even though I felt like crap at home with David I figured it would get better because The Word never fails right? We were encouraged to go through counseling with leadership, which we did.

It seemed as if we talked to everyone at some point.

Somewhere around this time period our twig leaders decided they needed a break and we changed twigs. They were another lovely couple. Then we were all encouraged to attend Momentus. David and I were even told that V.B. wouldn’t marry us unless we went through it. I must express the fact that I grew to love and see V.B. in such a bigger way than others even had seen him at that point. I honestly would have done almost anything that he said believing he spoke for God himself. I still struggled with my self worth so what he said went. To me it was the only way out of that worthless feeling; I just wanted to be my best for God. Let me back up a little and express some of what was going on between David and I. We were going to leadership meetings because of our helping with the twigs and this is where some of the extent of the abuse began to come out. One incident I will share was a time when David must have been possessed and tried to push me out of a second story window and when that didn’t work he pushed me down the stairs instead. I know people would ask me, “Why did you stay with him”. I can only say I felt bound to my vows before God. So we married. I don’t really know why but we didn’t get married by V.B. after all anyway. I believe it had to do with money if I remember right. So we just went before a judge and had our twig and prior twig leaders stand up for us along with one other couple.

So now I will just touch on my time at Momentus a little. I know not everyone here has taken it but I’m sure you have read some of the threads so I won’t go into all of the details except some of my own .... that came out. With all that had been going on with David and I there was a time period before we went that his mother died and he went to Canada to take care of her final business and to bury her. I hate to say it but I went out with old friends at that time and buried a lot of my pain in the bottle with them. I did a big mistake and slept with someone else and got pregnant. Oh I tried to explain it off in my heart and mind saying David don’t sleep with me and he’s abusive so I deserve this. Nobody knows it better than me that it just wasn’t going to work. Well it did come out in Momentus and it was very ugly. I ran out at one point, running again and V.B. followed me and encouraged me to come back and finish with him. My love for him, as the man of God grew all the more. I felt like dirt but he still wanted me, I couldn’t believe it. After it was all over we had to decide what we were going to do. David took me to have an abortion and counseling between us continued. He stopped hitting me through it all but we were still in the stagnant no talking relationship that we had all along.

I can’t share anymore right now.

I will be praying!!!

Sorry all I didn't know what I was doing when I post my first story segments so they are backwards and you have to read them all to get it all it starts with the mess that is my life. :unsure:

While at yet another party I ran into a guy who I knew from an old foster home I had been in. I knew he liked me then but I had no time for him. But was this my way out? He asked me to marry him. I did. I was eighteen. I didn’t love him but I used him and tried to finally do something right. I even asked him to read the bible with me. I ended up getting pregnant and I was so happy. Nathan was born and became my world. It started rough, oh so rough. Nathan was born three months premature. Death seemed to be knocking on the door. Little did I know you can’t trust a nurse. I became pregnant again while Nathan was still in the hospital. Jamie was born also three months early but only survived a day and a half.

My husband couldn’t seem to get the partying out of his system so after a while we rarely saw him. He would go away for a week at a time. Not leaving much behind. I still don’t know how I made it through with no telephone, food or money. But I can say this if there was anything ever good in my life it was my son. He was my joy and my hopes. He held my heart in his hands.

On 7-24-1986 death struck its horrible blow once again. My world was buried that day. A rare disease took his little body and killed it. I lay on the floor for days in his room not even moving to relieve myself. If that wasn’t punishment enough I was blamed on top of it all. Who was the carrier of this rare disease? Nobody knew but I wasn’t able to fulfill all the medical tests that were needed to prove it not to be me. People I thought were my friends would have nothing to do with me for fear. And being that I was receiving welfare at the time because I had a baby I lost my only source of money because he was no longer alive. I was kicked out of our apartment for lack of payment. Once again I was on the street.

I went nuts over the next two years. I was angry at the world. I was angry at God!

I went from one bad relationship to another. Abuse and drugs once again filled my life.

I had three more children, from different men. One of them took place because of a rape.

Seemed fitting because hadn’t I been raped all my life anyway?

So on I went, a single mom just trying to straighten out the mess that was my life. I decided to stop dating. Until one day my friend said I have this man I want you to meet. It took her a while to convince me because all I wanted was someone who loved God and would treat us well. Because during that time when I refused to date I cried many tears to the God I once loved and then hated. She said, “He is the Godliest man I have ever met”.

Next segment my introduction to fellowship.

At the age of eleven I had already seen so much but it was just the beginning. I then was sent to various group homes, foster homes, and treatment centers for unruly children. If you have ever heard that these places were formed to help children, think again. Abuse runs rampant in these places. All forms all overlooked because of course we were the crazy ones. Our word wasn’t any better than all the men who said I love you now pull your pants down or of the drug dealers that say I have something that will make all of your problems go away.

Let me backtrack a minute. I must say that I always loved God. I believe it stemmed from the fact that my parents in order to have it quiet during hangovers sent us kids to church. I didn’t have much knowledge but I had a great feeling that He loved me somehow when even my own mother couldn’t.

I was in the eighth grade and in probably one of the most abusive homes that I’d ever been in when ironically enough I heard speaking in tongues for the first time. The group home mother was very into the Pentecostal church. I didn’t except it readily. But when I heard speaking in tongues I felt a strange craving for it. I knew in some odd way it was truth. Though out of order.

Jumping ahead to the age of sixteen I ran away for the last time. The courts finally emancipated me. Still in the midst of it all I was caught up in drugs and sex and anything else I needed to do to survive. Oddly enough I still had the terrible feeling that God was displeased with me. There was just never anyway that I could see to do the right thing when everything in my life was wrong. How could God love a girl who ran with gangs or slept with men? How could He forgive the lies and the manipulation I took a part in to survive? I myself had a hard time looking in the mirror how could He accept me and bless me?

How can one truly lay out their life in a short summary and express the emotions that accompany each step? I will attempt it hoping that all who read can read the feelings in the words. Of course this will not nor could it ever cover all that has happened over the years. Please bear with me. I am going to start off from the beginning in hopes of it showing a way to a glorious end.

I was born into a very confused family. I don’t have many memories of my real father but I do have knowledge of what I was told. My parents were both alcoholics and divorced while I was still a baby. My grandmother told me a few things of my father. Not that he was a great man but they weren’t all that bad. On the other hand my mother when I could get her to share anything only had a negative take on him. So as you can see there was confusion from the beginning. I do know that it irked my mom to no end when I was curious about him. I really don’t even know why I was, it’s not like he was around for me or my brother and sister. I did hear a few times from my mother, you’re just like your father. So I guess it was a piece of the puzzle that was missing for me.

Later on my mother married again and once again it was to an alcoholic. With this marriage came three more sisters. Our lives were riddled with poverty, pain and much hurt, though my mother in her delusion referred to us as the Brady bunch. I was not a happy child there never seemed to be enough of anything to go around. I guess my first mistake was to be outspoken enough to speak out about it. At times m parents would try to do the family thing and have discussions where we were to feel free to speak. Ha! I like her she’s got moxy they would say but it sure didn’t seem like they liked what I said.

I find it hard to express the torment my heart through as a child. How does a mother turn away from her own flesh? Is it possible that a child can do something so wrong that the concept of a hug is terrible? Is it also possible that all that went wrong was their fault? I struggled with that for many years. Sooner or later the pain started to overwhelm me. Enough to run to God knows where. The streets were better than that place. At least then I knew why I wasn’t eating. Then it was my fault to be walking in the rain and sleeping on benches. It would have been fine with me if it ended there.

I've heard you can donote them to the shelters so women can at least call 911 if they need to.

Thanks for all of the warm welcomes. Yes Victor is still around and yes he is still drop dead gorgeous! But I think thats part of the danger.

I did happen to take Momentus and I would say that my life did not get any better for it. I of course won't blame anyone for my taking it although it was really encouraged. Just as I won't say that it ruined my marriage. But I will say this anytime you have sleep deprivation, loud music and people screaming at you it's going to affect you somehow. I put my whole heart into it like I had been taught to do with everything, and boy it was hell. Granted some sins I had comitted had come out which I suppose in essence is good, but I know there was a better way. Shall we say a more Christ-like way? I didn't end up in the hospital as some did but I did end up striking out physically to others which was not my nature. And how devilish is this .... about I assert? Who in the hell was I to judge anyone and thats exactly what it encouraged. Yes it is true that we are not to lie but does that mean we go around and spew our thoughts all over the place? I was told by my husband after Momentus during one of our little chats that he desired to have sex with our church leaders wife. Now did I need that tidbit of truth? I should say not. I know from the experience it led to a lot of disobedience from we women in the church. Also a lot of false prophesy was going around at that time...yuck! So was Momentus evil? I will not speak for others but I wouldn't take it again and you can put that as my ephitat on my gravestone....for those who took it.

I wish I could have seen that one. He does have a camper a cabin and a lodge. Yes he brings girls there. Drunk... no but that depends on if were talking alcohol.

Atrue son as I was taught is one who walks in the ways of hie father such as in the footsteps of Abraham. Victor Benard is who started this group, I don't know if you know him or not but trust me if you know V.P. you know Victor.

Has anyone attended this and what was your experience like?

I'm looking for more information on what TWI was like during the time period of the 13th way corp can anyone help me or were you in at that time period? Thanks so much!

39 for me

Hi all, Linda is right I am not really his grand-daughter but am a daughter so to speak of one of his true sons. I was in river Road Fellowship in Minnesota. I am glad to be here, although I don't drink coffee - hehe.

I was put under the impression that V. P. loved the jews and also had people read "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Tenboom as a way of being prepared in your heart if it were ever to happen again.

HAHA that picture is hilarious! I no longer stick to the 2 drink limit myself but 2 of those would literally kill me.

This one of the first posts that I readbeing a newbie. As I have shared I belonged to a spin off group of TWI. But the ways were the same. We completely separated ourselves from our earthly families. No holidays, weddings anything got in the way of the church. Now I am separated from my daughter who still lives with the church and also divorced from my husband who still lives with the church. To top it off two of my sons that did leave with me are off on their own because of huets within ourselves because of the church.

Is there room for my story here? I really need to talk about all of this. I was not involved in TWI either but was involved in a similar setting with those that either left The Way or were kicked out.

I will begin with saying this, I had a very rough childhood and through it all I always had a desire and a love for God but no real knowledge. I met a man in 1990 who been a member of TWI. He seemed so loving and kind. At that point he wasn't twigging but he and I would talk about The Word for hours on end. I soaked it up and even read all of the books over and over again. He began going back to fellowship and I sooner or later followed him. I took PFAL in 1991. I felt so good to finally have gotten over my fear when I spoke in tongues.

As the years went on we went through many things, children, being fellowship helpers but also physical abuse and alot of control issues. We weren't even allowed to marry until we took the Momentus class. Boy what a mistake that was.

The church was meeting monthly for a long time in rec centers or the such while weekly we were meeting in private homes. But then a camp was purchased and the leadership all moved up north. We were told that it was available to move up or we would have no leadership. As you guess we were already in a posistion of thinking we needed this leadership in order to survive. so I'd say 99.9 % of the people moved up.

Slowly but surely things became more and more controlled. Eat this, dress like this. don't do this you know.

It seemed that there was never enough time in the day to do all that was expected so of course we only saw each other at meals or twig.

I'm leaving much out for time sake but after reading a lot of the posts here I can say that it was very similar.

Two years ago I was asked if I would consider taking my son away from the church as to protect it from him.

My husband was not involved in this decision but did not come with us either. So after all those years in the church I was down here with 4 kids on my own. Believing I would receive help as promised only to find I was mistaken. Now I am divorced, my 2 sons have left both on bad terms. I am with 2 young daughters while one remains in the church and we never talk. Their father of course never visits. But the hardest thing to deal with is how all of this is coming to a clearer picture for me and of course my children don't understand it all and are very angry at me. I need help, they need help. Please if anyone knows a way home so to speak let me know. I deal with tons of fear, mistrust, anger and hurt that I know does not come from God.

When I was very young my parents divorced. I lived with my mother and siblings of course. Throughout the years I heard nothing but bad about my father from my mother and nothing but good about my father from my grandmother. Lo and behold I was a problem child and often heard the phrase you're just like your father. Not really knowing him it was like a piece of the puzzle was missing for me. As I grew and became involved in the ministry I was taught one side just as with my mother. But just as with my mother I also saw bad that was explained away. Now I'm on my own and am hearing about the other side which explains a lot of the bad that wasn't understandable before. So now in other words it's like sitting at my grandmas feet and hearing things but in the reversal. I hope this makes sense.

Hi, I'm new here and didn't know how to start so I decided here is as good a place as any. I was not involved in TWI per say but was considered a grand-daughter of V.P. After his death as you know many left and started ministries of their own and thats where I come in. Since 1990 I was in what is called River Road Fellowship. I must tell you I have much fear today writing of this. Now over the last couple of days I have been going through and reading a lot of the posts here and am just sickened to see the similarities. I only wanted my works to glorify God but now I am so messed up and scared I don't know what to do. :(