finallyunderstand

finallyunderstand Posted Today, 09:06 PM

I don't remember if anyone ever said I was posessed. But there were several times I was told I wasn't "controllong my mind" or I was "out of control" just because I didn't agree with someone or something. Like the time when they tried to get me to pray for the board of trustees to either die or change. I disagreed in a meeting about having 24 hours of prayer for this. I refused to pray for anyone to die. OMG. Was I ever roasted. They all took turns ripping me to shreds. I was only a kid too.

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Oh my gosh!

You were asked to pray for someone to DIE?

How sick is that?

Very sick, intensely sick. But I think they were more outraged that I dared to challenge it because they knew I was right. (They cancelled the 24 hours of prayer, blamed it on me). I couldn't sleep for two days because while they were ripping me to shreads, some of the things they said about me were true. But wth, I was a teenager. Who was perfect at that age anyway? But I was so overwhelmed by it. Now I would just say, so what I didn't clean my room last week? It's even weirder that you know about it and care.

Proverbs 21

Every man's way is right in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the hearts.

--

Thank God for that. No other way to tell what somebody really meant when they did what they did.

I don't remember if anyone ever said I was posessed. But there were several times I was told I wasn't "controllong my mind" or I was "out of control" just because I didn't agree with someone or something. Like the time when they tried to get me to pray for the board of trustees to either die or change. I disagreed in a meeting about having 24 hours of prayer for this. I refused to pray for anyone to die. OMG. Was I ever roasted. They all took turns ripping me to shreds. I was only a kid too.

There are some people in this world that if they say, at noon, that it's daytime, ya better look outside before you say 'oh yeah'

But it doesn't mean that they aren't telling the truth when they say something like "I stubbed my toe"

It's not so cut and dried as that, in my opinion.

Maybe it makes it more important to decipher when/where/what/who they are telling the truth about. It's too much energy and work, for me, but there it is anyway.

We do know the differance btwn truth and not so much.

I guess now I'm at the point where I believe some of the things people said were true and some where exagerations and some were lies. But I do feel more free knowing that I no longer buy the whole ball of wax. It doesn't have that kind of control over me anymore.

I never bought the "ball of wax" about Athletes of the Spirit ...perhaps because I'm not athletic and I knew the Bible I had learned and been assured of was not dependent on my athletic ability ... and I figured God wouldn't limit His blessings to jocks. Early on in my years in TWI, a wonderful guy shared with me the verse, "God taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man" when I was thinking I wanted to stand for and with God, but I could not see myself getting up early and running in the morning every day for the rest of my life as part of it. It seems rather silly to write that or tell it now, but I was 18 at the time and to learn in a practical way that God was interested in my heart and not my legs/athletic ability was a great blessing to my life.

I found it amusingly ironic that either every or almost every great "athlete" that LCM brought in front of our faces as "a great athlete and a great believer" always ended up either leaving TWI when the hype died down, being caught with drugs, or, in the case of the woman tennis player, being found to be lesbian.

Now, many years later, the person many of us in the Corps learned Figures of Speech from has researched and proven conclusively that ALL the references in Ephesians 6 are military, not athletic. So there, O "spiritually" athletic ones!

I never related to the athletic terminologies. It basically made me feel terrible just as it had when I was younger. I was always on the B string and the last kid ever picked for dodge ball. The ministries emphasis on athletics made me feel like a loser just like it had when I was a kid. I didn't get it, couldn't relate and had no talent. :unsure:

How many of these has everyone known.

Some wannabe servant councelling you before witnesses because you are sat by the pool reading an Arthur Hailey novel.

LOL. I remember being caught reading a true crime novel. I was asked if this was really "profitable" when I could be studying the word.......

I dont think that the leaders are sat there systematically planning methods to control their followers.

I dont think they are conscious of that at all.

Well, perhaps L Ron Hubbard, but most of the others, no.

I think the leadership are trapped within the system as well, and are basically obsessed with not allowing a lamb to be lost and are rationalizing their decisions in their own minds because they are telling themselves they must desperately "protect" the household from the infection of worldly influence and the snares of Satanic influence. And so these control methods spontaneously generate within the group by virtue of it being a seperationist group with no external checks/balances and by virtue of its being a totalism.

Considering that all cults basically manifest the same control methods, we must either say that all the cult founders have either read Hitlers Mein Kampf and Stanley Millikin and are fully versed in the methods of control, which they then wickedly set about implementing so as to fleece and flog the flock, or there is some other cause for these control methods generating within the group.

Well, probably for some this is true. I knew a leader that was so paranoid everyone would get killed in a car accident, he had everyone check in with their FC when they left and when they returned from even the shortest trip somewhere. It was weird and cumbersome, but he really was concerned about all of us. He had heard one to many hysterical teachings and was deeply influenced by it. He promoted a lot of fear. He wasn't fully versed in the methods of control, but he was controlling.

I don't think the controlling leaders i knew gave a dam about lost lambs. i think they were hoping to look good to their uppers and get kudos for their 'stand.' It was all about them.

For others this is probably what is mostly true. Some people get off on giving constant unsolicited advice and opinions. They are like the pharisees who want to look good but not really do good. Put them in a leadership role and they really go overboard, especially if there is a hysterical and superstisious ministry behind them.

All of the controlling leaders I knew insinuated themselves into the most personal aspects of my life. They seemed to get off on telling people what to do and having people do it. (God forbid they get real jobs.) Yet for all that, they are not friends. They don't send Christmas cards or keep in touch. I used to feel so compelled to share with these people who didn't care about me, it was all about them. They were only concerned about me to the extent I was useful to them. Like if I could help fill a quota for a class or clean their house etc...

I doubt they read Hitler or Millikin. They learned from living examples in their TWI midst.

Oh yeah, and why wouldn't the founding president of twi say psychotherapy, counseling, etc was of the devil and scare the bejeezus outa his victims or those desiring to help?

That way those victims or helpers didn't get armed with the coping skills, the tools to possibly make changes or the strength of someone actually believing them and them possibly standing up to his pitiful self.

Right on Shellon.

I remember a teaching they had all of us Wows listen to. Some Rev. went on about how this Corps girl/wow family leader had left the field after witnessing to a Psychiatrist. I guess he ended up "witnessing" to her, because she no longer wanted to be involved with TWI. She moved in with him while he was helping her get on her feet. But the Rev. on the tape spinned it as her being influenced by the spirits he operated and being tricked by worldly knowledge. He acted like he was so sorry for her. (While ripping them to shreds).

The reason they had all the wows listen to this was because they were threatened by what happened.

Just like when they were threatened by the internet. Several years ago my FC actually called everyone to tell us we were to stay away from the internet because of the devil spirits it would let in our homes. And we were supposed to confess if we had looked at any anti TWI sites.

When people are trying to control you, they don't want you to have information. And especially they don't want you to have coping skills.

Dear Finallyunderstand,

I had hoped it was clear that judging people on a case by case basis was necessary and also that it was in my thinking too.

The more damaging part IMO is that mixing God's Word with Dr. Wierwille's thinking seems to be a much more toxic mixture in general than dealing with just Dr. Wierwille's pathologies.

Personally, I wouldn't make it a bumper sticker, however. It would only be "gotten" by a few and only be odd to the rest IMO. :)

Yeah, I can see it's in your thinking too. :) And you're right, only a few would get a bumper sticker like that. Besides, it would make it seem they were more important than they really are.

Hi Jeff

That would make a cool bumper sticker!

Well, I'd have to disagree. I think people need to be judged on a case by case basis. I met a therapist who was very scary and dangerous and hurt a lot of people. Yet he had all the right degrees, accolades and society to back him.

Another therapist I know has the most highest education yet has the least amount of common sense than anyone I've ever met. She's been put in charge of many programs yet does more harm than good. After many years of destruction, she's finally been booted out.

I also know therapists who have truly and honestly helped people. (Friends I have in the profession).

I think some people completely flip out when they get a little power. They don't use it for good they use it for self serving egotistical purpoes.

Sometimes people mean well but they have been deceived by an organization that wants them to promote their agenda. So they end up unwiitingly passing on damaging info and attitudes. Then there are people who in the midst of God awful hell still are able to get a positive message across and help someone.

I think it all goes back to thinking for ourselves. It's OK to go get help and advice, we just need to make sure we're not turning our lives over to someone else. Final decisions need to be ours because we are the ones who have to wake up every day and live with them.

Oh, I remember those haircuts...

Female WC haircuts numbers 1-5 - approved by God.

Male WC haircut number one - the only hair approved by God.

They had a reflections class where this married couple would pull people out of the audience and cut their hair however they wanted to. You were not supposed to refuse or have an opinion or preference. They also had people stand there in front of everyone and say what kind of clothes they should wear and what colors. Maybe they had some good advice and they didn't seem to be a mean couple. But their style was exactly that. Their style. Some of it was old fashioned and not for everyone. I saw some goofy hairstyles walk out of that class. :blink:

All of it...every stinkin bit of it. The stuff that I questioned, I thought Satan was tricking me to doubt. The behavior I objected to, I endured because not to meant that I was stiff necked. Anything completely offensive or incomprehensible, I just assumed the lack was in my own understanding, and I would put on the back burner, like they said, until the day that I would be spiritually mature enough to handle it. :(

Me too. If I was uncomfortable with something I just figured I was wrong. But there was one thing I refused to go along with. I wouldn't let those reflection people cut my hair just because they thought they had a better idea of what a minister for god should look like. I thought they looked like geeks and I liked my hair the way it was. Took some heat for that.

Hi Everyone,

I'd appreciate any advice on ways to recover from all of the verbal abuse heaped on us. If ypu have a story to tell, I'd like to hear it.

Thanks,

finallyunderstand

I did not know her personally, but one time in a meeting she was singing. She came to me in the audience, took my hand and sang the rest of the song to me. I was kind of embarrassed at first, but then I became very peaceful. She seemed to really care about me and wanted me to hear the words to the song, which I did need to hear.

Thanks for the Welcomes.

Hello, finally

Kick off your shoes and set a spell!

(Uhmmm --That means welcome aboard.)

Will do. Thanks.

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to say hello and thanks for all the posts. They have given me helpful insight into all of this TWI stuff.